1 00:00:01,953 --> 00:00:03,405 Gracias a todos por venir temprano. 2 00:00:03,406 --> 00:00:06,706 Uh, ha habido un incidente desafortunado 3 00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:08,324 Tenemos que hablar. 4 00:00:08,358 --> 00:00:09,692 - ¿Qué es eso en el oído? - Nada. 5 00:00:09,726 --> 00:00:11,194 Tengo que atravesó. No es gran cosa. 6 00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:12,728 Oh, espera, espera. ¿Qué estamos trabajando aquí? 7 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:14,864 Es que una ... una serpiente o un rayo? 8 00:00:14,898 --> 00:00:16,732 Esto no es lo que yo estoy aquí ... es una guitarra. 9 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:17,800 Una guitarra eléctrica. 10 00:00:17,835 --> 00:00:19,802 De todos modos, Roger de la cafetería, 11 00:00:19,837 --> 00:00:22,004 ya que la mayoría de ustedes han oído, ha sido despedido, 12 00:00:22,039 --> 00:00:23,806 uh, para liberar un video Facebook 13 00:00:23,841 --> 00:00:24,974 en el que se estaba comportando de una manera 14 00:00:25,008 --> 00:00:26,809 Cloud 9 que no aprueba. 15 00:00:26,851 --> 00:00:28,592 Sólo dilo; se tiró un pedo en las copas. 16 00:00:28,593 --> 00:00:30,813 - Todos vimos el video. - ¿Qué? Yo no lo vi. 17 00:00:30,848 --> 00:00:32,148 - Se ha tomado abajo. - Chicos ... 18 00:00:32,182 --> 00:00:33,378 Lo guardé. Te lo enviaré. 19 00:00:33,379 --> 00:00:35,251 - Gracias hombre. - No entiendo. 20 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:38,433 Que incluso se piensa en pedo en tazas como algo que ver? 21 00:00:38,434 --> 00:00:41,157 Es tan bruto! Especialmente en la cocina. 22 00:00:41,191 --> 00:00:43,860 Si se piensa en ello, que no es tan grave. 23 00:00:43,894 --> 00:00:45,561 Pedos son sólo aire. 24 00:00:45,596 --> 00:00:48,716 - Cheyenne, que es precioso! - Pero no es exactamente cierto. 25 00:00:48,717 --> 00:00:50,666 Pedo aire tiene mil millones de partículas fecales en el mismo. 26 00:00:50,701 --> 00:00:53,125 Es decir, eso es lo que causa el olor ... heces en su nariz. 27 00:00:53,126 --> 00:00:54,837 Pensé que el gas apenas olía. 28 00:00:54,872 --> 00:00:56,539 - ingredientes pedo. - Está bien, no ... 29 00:00:56,573 --> 00:00:59,842 No necesitamos hacer eso. Eso es ... Creo que la lección aquí 30 00:00:59,877 --> 00:01:02,248 es tener cuidado con lo que publica en los medios sociales. 31 00:01:02,249 --> 00:01:05,181 Um, ¿no debería ser la lección: no pedo en tazas? 32 00:01:05,215 --> 00:01:06,846 Sí. En un mundo perfecto, 33 00:01:06,847 --> 00:01:09,694 la gente no pedo en copas, pero vivimos en el mundo real. 34 00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:11,287 Um, cuando se dice "tener cuidado" 35 00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:12,922 lo que no se nos permite escribir? 36 00:01:12,956 --> 00:01:15,224 Porque hago un montón de vídeos de Instagram 37 00:01:15,225 --> 00:01:17,760 y pueden ser bastante nervioso. 38 00:01:17,794 --> 00:01:20,519 - ¿Se pedo en tazas? - No. 39 00:01:20,519 --> 00:01:21,573 Then I think we're pretty good. 40 00:01:21,574 --> 00:01:22,714 You know what? I'm gonna take a look 41 00:01:22,715 --> 00:01:23,836 at everybody's social media, 42 00:01:23,837 --> 00:01:25,122 make sure everything's above board. 43 00:01:25,123 --> 00:01:26,739 No, uh, that's not necessary. 44 00:01:26,740 --> 00:01:28,126 Everybody here can self-police. 45 00:01:28,127 --> 00:01:30,616 Uh, why self-police when you can have actual police? 46 00:01:32,019 --> 00:01:32,779 Ha! 47 00:01:33,623 --> 00:01:35,689 Wait, these cups? 48 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:43,074 49 00:01:46,434 --> 00:01:48,241 Hey, guys. It's your girl, Kelly. 50 00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:50,170 Check out how many balloons this guy is buying. 51 00:01:50,204 --> 00:01:51,437 What are you guys watching? 52 00:01:51,438 --> 00:01:53,845 Kelly's Instagram videos. They're adorable. 53 00:01:53,846 --> 00:01:55,640 It better be somebody's birthday! 54 00:01:55,641 --> 00:01:57,768 Too funny. 55 00:01:57,769 --> 00:02:00,484 But it probably was someone's birthday. 56 00:02:00,485 --> 00:02:02,439 I know, right? She nailed it. 57 00:02:02,474 --> 00:02:05,909 Okay, is the joke that it's so boring, or... 58 00:02:05,944 --> 00:02:08,347 Oh, did you guys see the one with the orange? 59 00:02:08,348 --> 00:02:09,713 - Wait. - Hey, guys. 60 00:02:09,748 --> 00:02:11,248 It's your girl, Kelly. 61 00:02:11,282 --> 00:02:13,717 So I've been trying to open this orange 62 00:02:13,752 --> 00:02:15,452 for, like, five minutes. 63 00:02:15,487 --> 00:02:17,221 It's pretty much just unpeelable. 64 00:02:17,255 --> 00:02:18,889 Here, watch. 65 00:02:18,923 --> 00:02:21,425 Okay, seriously, that is my life. 66 00:02:22,927 --> 00:02:25,462 I don't understand this. 67 00:02:25,497 --> 00:02:28,899 I sent out a mass email to all our rewards customers, 68 00:02:28,933 --> 00:02:31,235 you know, to apologize for... 69 00:02:31,269 --> 00:02:33,337 the attack on the cups, 70 00:02:33,371 --> 00:02:34,905 and look! 71 00:02:34,939 --> 00:02:36,573 "Dear, valued customer, 72 00:02:36,608 --> 00:02:39,276 "when humans eat food, it's processed in the intestines, 73 00:02:39,310 --> 00:02:40,644 producing gas." 74 00:02:40,678 --> 00:02:42,413 Wow, you really took it from the top. 75 00:02:42,447 --> 00:02:43,847 Yeah, of course. But then look. 76 00:02:43,882 --> 00:02:45,482 A huge number of these things 77 00:02:45,517 --> 00:02:47,951 bounced back, and that makes me worried 78 00:02:47,986 --> 00:02:49,653 that it's either Russian hackers... 79 00:02:49,687 --> 00:02:50,821 Could be them. That's their style. 80 00:02:50,855 --> 00:02:52,156 Or I picked up a virus 81 00:02:52,190 --> 00:02:54,591 looking at those baptism videos, maybe. 82 00:02:54,626 --> 00:02:56,656 - That's where they are. - Or... 83 00:02:57,562 --> 00:02:59,530 An employee's inventing fake customers. 84 00:02:59,564 --> 00:03:00,931 Why would anybody do that? 85 00:03:00,965 --> 00:03:02,599 Well, because you get a dollar 86 00:03:02,634 --> 00:03:04,668 for every rewards card that you sign up. 87 00:03:04,702 --> 00:03:06,503 What? You get a dollar per Blue Card? 88 00:03:06,538 --> 00:03:08,539 - Since when? - Since always. 89 00:03:08,573 --> 00:03:10,107 You know, so theoretically, 90 00:03:10,141 --> 00:03:12,142 employees could just fill out a bunch of fake forms 91 00:03:12,177 --> 00:03:14,878 and over time, it... God, that would really add up. 92 00:03:14,913 --> 00:03:17,181 That's... Something I can't believe people haven't 93 00:03:17,215 --> 00:03:18,982 - been doing the entire time. - Yeah. 94 00:03:19,017 --> 00:03:20,684 It'd be almost impossible to trace. 95 00:03:20,718 --> 00:03:22,719 - I get it. - Except... 96 00:03:22,754 --> 00:03:24,788 Almost all of these customers 97 00:03:24,823 --> 00:03:27,224 were signed up by the same employee. 98 00:03:27,258 --> 00:03:28,625 Really? Who? 99 00:03:28,660 --> 00:03:30,828 I sign up a lot of... rewards customers. 100 00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:33,464 I mean, I... can't remember every single one. 101 00:03:33,498 --> 00:03:34,731 It's just that I noticed 102 00:03:34,766 --> 00:03:38,368 they seem to have really unusual names. 103 00:03:38,403 --> 00:03:40,537 Ned Duracell. 104 00:03:40,572 --> 00:03:42,206 Jim Toblerone. 105 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,208 And just this morning, you signed up 106 00:03:44,242 --> 00:03:46,477 a Martin Nestle. 107 00:03:46,511 --> 00:03:48,512 Oh, Martin! Uh, yeah. 108 00:03:48,546 --> 00:03:50,013 I... I remember him. 109 00:03:50,048 --> 00:03:52,716 Uh, good guy. Nice family. 110 00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:55,219 Mateo, can you think of any reason 111 00:03:55,253 --> 00:03:57,813 why Martin's email bounced back? 112 00:03:59,057 --> 00:04:00,553 He gave me a fake email? 113 00:04:00,554 --> 00:04:02,693 That's one reason. Um... 114 00:04:02,727 --> 00:04:03,994 But another one is... 115 00:04:04,028 --> 00:04:06,530 a-and I'm not accusing you of this, 116 00:04:06,564 --> 00:04:08,646 but maybe... 117 00:04:09,601 --> 00:04:11,295 - You made him up? - What? 118 00:04:12,203 --> 00:04:13,236 Glenn! 119 00:04:15,473 --> 00:04:16,316 Wow! 120 00:04:16,875 --> 00:04:18,208 Cheyenne? I need your help 121 00:04:18,243 --> 00:04:19,610 accessing people's social media 122 00:04:19,644 --> 00:04:21,011 before we have another scandal. 123 00:04:21,045 --> 00:04:22,949 I feel like that lady from "Scandal." 124 00:04:23,715 --> 00:04:25,516 Is her name Scandal? 125 00:04:25,550 --> 00:04:27,851 Um, can't you just do it yourself? 126 00:04:27,886 --> 00:04:30,020 Don't do social media. Never have. Never will. 127 00:04:30,054 --> 00:04:31,421 Don't want anyone tracking me. 128 00:04:31,456 --> 00:04:32,923 I only use the Internet for two things: 129 00:04:32,957 --> 00:04:35,025 buying birdseed, watching porn. 130 00:04:35,059 --> 00:04:37,027 Besides, it'll be fun. 131 00:04:37,061 --> 00:04:38,862 Couple of gals clickin' and a-clackin' 132 00:04:38,897 --> 00:04:40,058 around the net. 133 00:04:40,899 --> 00:04:43,567 Are you asking me, or telling me I have to? 134 00:04:43,601 --> 00:04:45,202 I'm telling you you have to, 135 00:04:45,236 --> 00:04:47,638 but in a way that makes it sound like I'm asking you. 136 00:04:47,672 --> 00:04:49,706 Okay, then I guess I will. 137 00:04:49,741 --> 00:04:51,141 Are you sure? 138 00:04:51,175 --> 00:04:53,540 - Are you doing it again? - Yeah. 139 00:04:54,145 --> 00:04:56,213 Hey, guys. It's your girl, Kelly. 140 00:04:56,247 --> 00:04:57,881 You know how sometimes you get a shopping cart 141 00:04:57,916 --> 00:04:59,383 with a bad wheel? 142 00:04:59,417 --> 00:05:02,553 Well, this one has a really bad wheel. 143 00:05:02,587 --> 00:05:04,721 AKA, no wheel! 144 00:05:04,756 --> 00:05:06,723 Check it out! 145 00:05:08,927 --> 00:05:10,761 Wheel fail! 146 00:05:10,795 --> 00:05:12,262 Wait, really? 147 00:05:12,992 --> 00:05:15,065 What am I missing here? This is lame. 148 00:05:15,099 --> 00:05:18,569 - No, I know! So lame. - It's your girl, Kelly. 149 00:05:18,603 --> 00:05:20,137 I'm just having a little breakfast, 150 00:05:20,171 --> 00:05:22,472 the most important meal of the day, 151 00:05:22,507 --> 00:05:25,142 although some people refuse to eat it. 152 00:05:25,176 --> 00:05:26,777 All your cereals have marshmallows. 153 00:05:26,811 --> 00:05:28,412 It's like you're a nine-year-old. 154 00:05:28,446 --> 00:05:30,814 - Oh. - Well, they're fun, Jonah. 155 00:05:32,116 --> 00:05:35,085 Hey, um, I might need a ride home later today. 156 00:05:35,119 --> 00:05:36,853 Do you happen to know where Kelly lives? 157 00:05:36,888 --> 00:05:38,288 Uh, lemme see. 158 00:05:38,323 --> 00:05:41,658 I think I heard she lives over in Soulard now. 159 00:05:41,693 --> 00:05:43,126 Okay, yeah, great. 160 00:05:43,161 --> 00:05:46,263 And um, what side of the bed does she sleep on? 161 00:05:46,297 --> 00:05:47,664 Wh... 162 00:05:47,699 --> 00:05:49,600 Well, I don't... why would... 163 00:05:49,634 --> 00:05:51,268 - You know. - I know. 164 00:05:51,302 --> 00:05:55,105 I-I wasn't, like, trying to not tell you or anything. 165 00:05:55,139 --> 00:05:56,506 We've just been kind of laying low. 166 00:05:56,541 --> 00:05:58,208 You know, it hasn't actually been that long. 167 00:05:58,242 --> 00:06:00,110 Jonah, relax. It's fine. 168 00:06:00,144 --> 00:06:01,678 I think it's great. It's great. 169 00:06:01,713 --> 00:06:03,947 - Kelly's sweet. - She is. 170 00:06:03,982 --> 00:06:05,649 And besides, I'm kind of relieved. 171 00:06:05,683 --> 00:06:07,951 I couldn't figure out why you liked those dumb videos. 172 00:06:07,986 --> 00:06:09,620 - Dumb? - I mean, I don't mean dumb. 173 00:06:09,654 --> 00:06:12,689 I just mean, like, "Ah, I can't peel this orange." 174 00:06:12,724 --> 00:06:14,625 It's not exactly a TED talk. 175 00:06:14,659 --> 00:06:15,792 I like her videos. 176 00:06:15,827 --> 00:06:17,861 Mm-hmm. You like her something. 177 00:06:17,895 --> 00:06:20,030 Whatever. You know what? You're just jealous. 178 00:06:20,064 --> 00:06:22,466 Uh, someone's flattering himself. 179 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:25,902 No, I meant jealous that everybody loves her videos. 180 00:06:25,937 --> 00:06:28,839 Yeah, I know that's what you meant. 181 00:06:28,873 --> 00:06:30,907 And why would I be jealous of her videos? 182 00:06:30,942 --> 00:06:34,077 Oh, she filmed herself microwaving ramen 183 00:06:34,112 --> 00:06:36,647 and she got 100 people to view it. 184 00:06:36,681 --> 00:06:38,215 Yeah, she's Sofia Coppola. 185 00:06:38,249 --> 00:06:39,983 - You couldn't do it. - Please. 186 00:06:40,018 --> 00:06:41,918 You could get 100 people to watch anything. 187 00:06:41,953 --> 00:06:43,487 Fine. Then do it. 188 00:06:43,521 --> 00:06:45,889 100 views by the end of the day... 189 00:06:45,923 --> 00:06:47,668 loser has to clean the rat traps. 190 00:06:47,669 --> 00:06:49,559 Okay, well then, you're on, 191 00:06:49,594 --> 00:06:51,161 and I hope you like dead rats. 192 00:06:51,195 --> 00:06:53,925 - I hope you like failure. - I hope you like... 193 00:06:54,599 --> 00:06:56,065 Me winning bets. 194 00:06:56,868 --> 00:06:59,302 - Sick burn. - Shut up! 195 00:07:06,204 --> 00:07:08,872 Hi! It's Cloud9 Amy! 196 00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:11,308 Comin' at you from Cloud 9... 197 00:07:11,342 --> 00:07:13,276 in St. Louis, Missouri, 198 00:07:13,311 --> 00:07:15,478 between aisles seven and eight. 199 00:07:15,513 --> 00:07:18,815 Oh, look! It's a two-for-one sale! 200 00:07:18,850 --> 00:07:21,284 How come you never hear of one-for-two? 201 00:07:21,319 --> 00:07:24,955 Oh, probably because no one would ever pay twice as much. 202 00:07:24,989 --> 00:07:26,828 All right, that is bad. 203 00:07:29,527 --> 00:07:31,061 Can you please not watch me? 204 00:07:31,095 --> 00:07:33,630 How could I not? It's riveting. 205 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,368 Hi! It's Cloud 9 Amy! 206 00:07:38,402 --> 00:07:40,570 Hundreds of fake Blue Cards? 207 00:07:40,605 --> 00:07:42,172 How long have you been doing this? 208 00:07:42,206 --> 00:07:44,341 I started my second day. I thought everyone did it! 209 00:07:44,375 --> 00:07:45,693 I mean, it's kind of obvious. 210 00:07:45,694 --> 00:07:47,043 Not to everyone. 211 00:07:47,078 --> 00:07:48,511 Oh, hey, Glenn! 212 00:07:48,546 --> 00:07:50,347 It was really bugging me that Martin Nestle lied 213 00:07:50,381 --> 00:07:52,082 about his email address, so I did some digging 214 00:07:52,116 --> 00:07:55,357 and I found his actual email on his company website. 215 00:07:58,556 --> 00:08:01,324 Boogie-Time Boogie Boards, Incorporated. 216 00:08:01,359 --> 00:08:05,161 That doesn't look like a very professional website, does it? 217 00:08:05,196 --> 00:08:06,763 I know, right? 218 00:08:06,797 --> 00:08:08,265 These beach bum types. 219 00:08:08,299 --> 00:08:10,500 Anyway... 220 00:08:10,534 --> 00:08:12,955 There he is. Martin Nestle, CEO. 221 00:08:14,038 --> 00:08:14,950 Huh. 222 00:08:15,573 --> 00:08:18,041 That looks like the guy from "Twilight." 223 00:08:18,075 --> 00:08:19,209 You saw "Twilight?" 224 00:08:19,243 --> 00:08:22,274 No. Jerusha said I shouldn't. 225 00:08:22,813 --> 00:08:23,786 So I didn't. 226 00:08:24,749 --> 00:08:25,448 I mean... 227 00:08:25,483 --> 00:08:28,218 I guess it kinda looks like him 228 00:08:28,252 --> 00:08:31,221 if you squint. 229 00:08:31,255 --> 00:08:32,789 It's so funny you know who that is. 230 00:08:32,823 --> 00:08:34,557 Hey, let's see if they have a page 231 00:08:34,592 --> 00:08:36,559 for buying a boogie board on there, huh? 232 00:08:36,594 --> 00:08:38,228 I don't think that the link is up yet. 233 00:08:38,262 --> 00:08:39,562 Click on the "About," where it tells you 234 00:08:39,597 --> 00:08:41,734 the story of how the company started. 235 00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:44,768 Excuse me, ma'am. 236 00:08:44,802 --> 00:08:46,636 Do you have a moment to watch a short video? 237 00:08:46,637 --> 00:08:49,221 Oh, I'm sorry. I just moved here from Tampa. 238 00:08:50,441 --> 00:08:52,720 Ooh, Garrett! Have you watched my video yet? 239 00:08:52,721 --> 00:08:54,311 No. Why? 240 00:08:54,345 --> 00:08:55,578 'Cause I'm trying to prove to Jonah 241 00:08:55,613 --> 00:08:56,980 that I can get more views than Kelly. 242 00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:59,149 - Oh, 'cause they're dating? - What? No. 243 00:08:59,183 --> 00:09:00,417 That doesn't have anything to do with it. 244 00:09:00,451 --> 00:09:01,918 This is about having a web presence. 245 00:09:01,953 --> 00:09:03,420 Jeez, Garrett, get with it. 246 00:09:03,454 --> 00:09:05,956 You're right. I'll work on my self-awareness. 247 00:09:07,591 --> 00:09:10,136 Oh, come on! Still only 12 views. 248 00:09:13,097 --> 00:09:15,332 Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers! 249 00:09:15,366 --> 00:09:17,580 Who likes viral videos? 250 00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:20,337 Ma'am? Ma'am? 251 00:09:20,371 --> 00:09:22,005 Man, Facebook is a bust. 252 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:23,907 It's all baby photos and quizzes 253 00:09:23,941 --> 00:09:26,120 about which "Longmire" character you are. 254 00:09:26,121 --> 00:09:28,169 Cool. Then I guess we can stop? 255 00:09:28,578 --> 00:09:29,778 Hang on. 256 00:09:30,047 --> 00:09:32,089 Elias went on a date with two women? 257 00:09:32,516 --> 00:09:35,518 It's probably just his wife's sister or something. 258 00:09:35,553 --> 00:09:37,971 Mm, yeah. I don't think so. 259 00:09:39,031 --> 00:09:40,364 Oh, my God! 260 00:09:40,658 --> 00:09:42,325 Elias is in a throuple. 261 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:43,860 Throuple. 262 00:09:43,894 --> 00:09:46,529 Is that like when three hideous people get together? 263 00:09:46,564 --> 00:09:48,031 - Just three people. - Oh. 264 00:09:48,065 --> 00:09:50,643 - But yeah, they usually are. - Hmm. 265 00:09:51,469 --> 00:09:53,370 Hey, Glenn, there's a customer here 266 00:09:53,404 --> 00:09:56,172 - who wants to talk to a manager. - Okay. 267 00:09:56,207 --> 00:09:58,274 Hello. Glenn Sturgis speaking. 268 00:09:58,309 --> 00:09:59,975 Yes, this is Martin Nestle. 269 00:10:01,991 --> 00:10:03,792 Well, hello, Mr. Nestle. 270 00:10:03,881 --> 00:10:04,647 Trace this call. 271 00:10:04,682 --> 00:10:06,816 Yeah, I don't have that technology. 272 00:10:06,851 --> 00:10:08,885 I signed up for a Blue Card 273 00:10:08,919 --> 00:10:11,654 and I think I may have given the wrong email. 274 00:10:11,689 --> 00:10:14,991 Okay, well, thank you for calling to tell us. 275 00:10:15,026 --> 00:10:16,826 Are you tracing this call? 276 00:10:18,252 --> 00:10:19,352 While I have you on the phone, 277 00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:21,164 what'd you think of the employee 278 00:10:21,198 --> 00:10:22,665 who signed you up? 279 00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:24,519 His name's Mateo. 280 00:10:24,993 --> 00:10:26,827 And I think he's a real dummy! 281 00:10:26,838 --> 00:10:28,606 A class A stinker! 282 00:10:28,906 --> 00:10:30,768 What are you saying about me? 283 00:10:31,776 --> 00:10:32,709 Oh. 284 00:10:32,743 --> 00:10:35,920 Mr. Sturgis, I need to get back to work. 285 00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:37,334 Uh, okay, then. Well... 286 00:10:37,548 --> 00:10:39,416 h-have a heavenly day. 287 00:10:39,450 --> 00:10:41,484 Oh. Who were you talking to? 288 00:10:41,519 --> 00:10:44,320 Martin Nestle. 289 00:10:44,355 --> 00:10:45,204 Oh. 290 00:10:47,665 --> 00:10:48,785 Lost the trace. 291 00:10:49,427 --> 00:10:52,122 Did you know Marcus has a podcast 292 00:10:52,123 --> 00:10:54,264 called "Celebrities I Would Bone," 293 00:10:54,298 --> 00:10:56,032 and in every episode he just lists 294 00:10:56,067 --> 00:10:57,600 celebrities he would bone. 295 00:10:57,635 --> 00:11:00,263 Man, there is an audience out there for anything. 296 00:11:01,205 --> 00:11:03,206 Oh, wow. Okay, you're gonna love this. 297 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:06,076 Remember Anna who had to leave to take care of her sick mom? 298 00:11:06,110 --> 00:11:10,280 Well, turns out her sick mom is also a boob surgeon! 299 00:11:10,314 --> 00:11:11,581 Wow! 300 00:11:11,615 --> 00:11:14,050 He went too big. 301 00:11:14,085 --> 00:11:16,519 - She's gonna have back problems. - Waste of money. 302 00:11:16,554 --> 00:11:17,887 She should've fixed her face first. 303 00:11:17,922 --> 00:11:20,090 - Yeah. - Oh, whoops. 304 00:11:20,124 --> 00:11:22,258 You were supposed to go on your break ten minutes ago. 305 00:11:22,293 --> 00:11:23,726 Oh, um, that's okay. 306 00:11:23,761 --> 00:11:25,895 I'll just sit here and eat my lunch with you. 307 00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:30,356 Safety always comes... It's the bottom of the ninth. 308 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,992 What is this? 309 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,194 Just a woman going insane. 310 00:11:35,229 --> 00:11:36,829 Mark down-io! Yee-haw! 311 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,531 Howdy, partner. That was crazy. 312 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:41,200 How dem cows... Inventor-ium! 313 00:11:41,235 --> 00:11:42,368 Maybe if we took her phone away... 314 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:43,903 Don't even think about it. 315 00:11:46,242 --> 00:11:47,775 Yo, yo, yo. It's Cloud 9 Amy 316 00:11:47,809 --> 00:11:49,691 doin' my trick. 317 00:11:49,692 --> 00:11:52,873 Zonin' this aisle to make it look sick! 318 00:11:52,873 --> 00:11:55,374 You want batteries? I got loads of D's. 319 00:11:55,409 --> 00:11:57,710 And some frozen peas full of vitamin C! 320 00:11:57,744 --> 00:12:00,513 Self-check yourself before you wreck yourself. 321 00:12:00,547 --> 00:12:03,516 Self-check yourself before you wreck yourself. 322 00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:07,019 Self-check yourself before you wreck yourself. 323 00:12:07,054 --> 00:12:07,826 Get it? 324 00:12:09,056 --> 00:12:10,145 So? 325 00:12:11,391 --> 00:12:12,722 Wow, Amy. 326 00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:14,361 So fun. 327 00:12:15,095 --> 00:12:16,462 It's a work in progress, 328 00:12:16,497 --> 00:12:17,897 and... and I know it's corny. 329 00:12:17,931 --> 00:12:20,766 That's what makes it funny. Right? 330 00:12:20,801 --> 00:12:22,034 Oh, yeah. 331 00:12:22,069 --> 00:12:23,302 Yeah, definitely. 332 00:12:23,337 --> 00:12:24,779 - So funny. - Yeah. 333 00:12:26,073 --> 00:12:26,899 Okay. 334 00:12:27,341 --> 00:12:28,292 Thanks. 335 00:12:30,344 --> 00:12:32,211 Is this because Jonah's dating Kelly? 336 00:12:32,246 --> 00:12:34,480 - Definitely. - Yeah. 337 00:12:34,515 --> 00:12:36,899 I went to theater camp for two summers. 338 00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:38,584 That was my Audrey II voice. 339 00:12:38,619 --> 00:12:40,253 Calm down. It was fine. 340 00:12:40,287 --> 00:12:42,755 There is no way you should've gotten away with this. 341 00:12:42,789 --> 00:12:44,457 - You're just jealous. - I am. 342 00:12:44,491 --> 00:12:45,992 And I'm not even trying to hide it. 343 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:48,828 Mateo, I want to apologize, 344 00:12:48,862 --> 00:12:51,163 both for the things that I said about you, 345 00:12:51,198 --> 00:12:54,166 and for thinking that you would ever make up a customer. 346 00:12:54,201 --> 00:12:56,302 Well, it's just hard. 347 00:12:56,336 --> 00:12:58,304 I was accused of a crime by my boss 348 00:12:58,338 --> 00:12:59,572 and role model. 349 00:12:59,606 --> 00:13:00,649 Take the win. 350 00:13:01,108 --> 00:13:02,408 I wanna make it up to you. 351 00:13:02,442 --> 00:13:03,645 How about lunch? 352 00:13:03,954 --> 00:13:05,344 We'll go up to the Beef Barn 353 00:13:05,379 --> 00:13:08,080 and get a... a table right near the tractor? 354 00:13:08,115 --> 00:13:11,484 Uh, you know, I am actually starting to get over it. 355 00:13:11,518 --> 00:13:13,586 Mateo, he's trying to apologize to you. 356 00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:17,356 A nice, long lunch, just the two of you? 357 00:13:17,391 --> 00:13:19,659 Oh, so lucky! 358 00:13:19,693 --> 00:13:21,928 Glenn, you know, maybe lunch isn't enough. 359 00:13:21,962 --> 00:13:24,630 - You were really rude to him. - Oh, yeah, you were. 360 00:13:24,665 --> 00:13:27,934 Maybe stop by a few museums or something on the way. 361 00:13:27,968 --> 00:13:30,636 - I suppose we could. - Lunch sounds great. 362 00:13:30,671 --> 00:13:32,838 - Lunch. - Terrific. 363 00:13:32,873 --> 00:13:34,040 I can't wait! 364 00:13:35,309 --> 00:13:36,152 Hmm. 365 00:13:37,010 --> 00:13:38,644 I'm feeling less jealous. 366 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:43,382 Kate Upton, Arianna Grande, Serena Williams, 367 00:13:43,417 --> 00:13:47,453 1994 Meryl Streep, 1995 Meryl Streep, 368 00:13:47,487 --> 00:13:49,322 and the "Wonder Woman" chick. 369 00:13:49,356 --> 00:13:52,191 "Celebrities I Would Bone" is brought to you by Blue Apron, 370 00:13:52,225 --> 00:13:53,626 a better way to cook... 371 00:13:54,113 --> 00:13:55,807 God, that hour flies by. 372 00:13:56,997 --> 00:13:58,497 Ahhh! 373 00:13:58,532 --> 00:14:01,000 Head into the kitchen where we make our tasty treats. 374 00:14:01,034 --> 00:14:03,970 Y'all can just kick it while I drop this sick beat. 375 00:14:08,942 --> 00:14:10,003 This is stupid. 376 00:14:10,777 --> 00:14:13,833 These videos are so stupid. 377 00:14:20,787 --> 00:14:22,993 Two women want that inside them. 378 00:14:24,591 --> 00:14:27,159 What would it take to get you to sleep with Elias? 379 00:14:27,194 --> 00:14:28,728 $435 grand. 380 00:14:28,762 --> 00:14:30,062 I have a figure for everyone here. 381 00:14:30,097 --> 00:14:32,153 Yours is only 75 bucks, by the way. 382 00:14:32,866 --> 00:14:34,839 Oh, thank you. 383 00:14:35,936 --> 00:14:36,836 What about Glenn? 384 00:14:36,870 --> 00:14:39,338 There's not enough money in the world. 385 00:14:43,610 --> 00:14:44,879 This is so stupid. 386 00:14:45,479 --> 00:14:47,880 All of these videos are stupid. 387 00:14:47,914 --> 00:14:50,583 Not everything needs to be documented. 388 00:14:50,617 --> 00:14:51,951 Look at where I am! 389 00:14:51,985 --> 00:14:54,020 Look at what I ate for lunch today. 390 00:14:54,054 --> 00:14:55,788 Nobody cares! 391 00:14:55,822 --> 00:14:59,125 We're all becoming these narcissistic attention whores. 392 00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:01,127 How about we actually... Okay, at some point 393 00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:02,928 she's gotta see the rats. 394 00:15:02,963 --> 00:15:05,931 Well, you know what? Watch, don't watch, 395 00:15:05,966 --> 00:15:07,400 I don't care. 396 00:15:07,434 --> 00:15:09,702 But if you like what you saw, you can follow me on Snapchat, 397 00:15:09,736 --> 00:15:13,372 Instagram, and Twitter on @Cloud9AmyD. 398 00:15:13,407 --> 00:15:15,374 I don't think she saw the rats. 399 00:15:15,409 --> 00:15:16,909 I don't think so. 400 00:15:17,644 --> 00:15:20,746 I am really looking forward to this, Mateo. 401 00:15:20,781 --> 00:15:23,883 I don't get to take my employees to lunch very often. 402 00:15:23,917 --> 00:15:25,751 Well, only the lucky ones, I guess. 403 00:15:25,786 --> 00:15:27,820 Yeah, I got to take Jonah to lunch once. 404 00:15:27,854 --> 00:15:29,555 I really got to know him. 405 00:15:29,589 --> 00:15:31,957 You know, his interests, his background, 406 00:15:31,992 --> 00:15:33,726 his voice. 407 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:34,927 Oh? 408 00:15:34,961 --> 00:15:37,329 Hey, and since we're going to Clayton, 409 00:15:37,364 --> 00:15:38,731 you know what's on the way? 410 00:15:38,765 --> 00:15:40,966 Martin Nestle's office. 411 00:15:41,001 --> 00:15:42,684 Maybe we should drop by. 412 00:15:43,270 --> 00:15:46,272 Unless there's some reason you don't wanna go. 413 00:15:46,306 --> 00:15:47,452 Nope. 414 00:15:47,974 --> 00:15:49,940 I would... love to visit Martin. 415 00:15:50,444 --> 00:15:51,610 Great. 416 00:15:51,645 --> 00:15:53,179 - Great. - Great. 417 00:15:54,114 --> 00:15:55,147 Great. 418 00:15:55,149 --> 00:15:56,382 Great. 419 00:15:57,651 --> 00:16:00,319 Oh, hey, Jonah, will you help me read something real quick? 420 00:16:00,353 --> 00:16:04,190 Bam! 15,000 views! 421 00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:05,458 Ha-ha! 422 00:16:05,492 --> 00:16:07,193 - Yep. - And I only posted it 423 00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:10,429 half an hour ago, which means there must be a real appetite 424 00:16:10,464 --> 00:16:12,465 for smart social commentary. 425 00:16:12,499 --> 00:16:14,800 I guess I'm cleaning the rat traps. 426 00:16:14,835 --> 00:16:16,635 Yeah. I guess you are. 427 00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:19,004 Oh, hey, speaking of the rat traps, 428 00:16:19,039 --> 00:16:21,507 did you get a chance to watch the video 429 00:16:21,541 --> 00:16:22,608 before you posted it? 430 00:16:22,642 --> 00:16:24,343 No. Why? 431 00:16:24,377 --> 00:16:25,978 I know I never explicitly said 432 00:16:26,012 --> 00:16:29,381 not to post videos of rat infestations in the kitchen, 433 00:16:29,416 --> 00:16:32,251 but I thought I didn't need to. 434 00:16:38,019 --> 00:16:39,065 Look, I'm sorry. 435 00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:41,601 I should have watched the video before I posted it. 436 00:16:41,635 --> 00:16:44,570 How 'bout if we just stop posting videos of the store, 437 00:16:44,605 --> 00:16:46,138 - period. - Whoa! No way! 438 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,607 - Aw! - That's not fair! 439 00:16:47,641 --> 00:16:49,575 Amy's screw up shouldn't overshadow the fact 440 00:16:49,610 --> 00:16:51,777 that there's some really terrific filmmaking going on. 441 00:16:51,812 --> 00:16:53,379 - Like Kelly's. - Yes. 442 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,214 Oh, my God. Thank you so much. 443 00:16:55,249 --> 00:16:56,749 Okay, I'm gonna start compiling a list 444 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,618 of all the things we should not be posting about, 445 00:16:58,652 --> 00:17:00,887 starting with farting in cups and rat infestations. 446 00:17:00,921 --> 00:17:03,207 Again, didn't know the rats were there. 447 00:17:03,208 --> 00:17:04,375 Why did you have to make a video at all? 448 00:17:04,409 --> 00:17:05,876 - Is it about fame? - No! 449 00:17:05,910 --> 00:17:07,402 Murdering a clown. 450 00:17:08,780 --> 00:17:09,980 What? 451 00:17:10,015 --> 00:17:10,981 That's something that 452 00:17:11,016 --> 00:17:12,316 we shouldn't post online. 453 00:17:12,350 --> 00:17:13,517 - Murdering a clown? - Mm-hmm. 454 00:17:13,551 --> 00:17:16,220 Okay. "Murdering a clown." 455 00:17:16,254 --> 00:17:17,855 You could just write "anything illegal." 456 00:17:17,889 --> 00:17:19,890 Look, Amy, are you going through some kind of 457 00:17:19,924 --> 00:17:21,392 a midlife crisis, is that it? 458 00:17:21,426 --> 00:17:22,593 Is that a new earring? 459 00:17:22,627 --> 00:17:24,361 - Yes, it's a peace sign. - No. 460 00:17:24,396 --> 00:17:26,163 I was just trying to prove that I could make a video 461 00:17:26,197 --> 00:17:27,865 that could get a bunch of views. 462 00:17:27,899 --> 00:17:30,267 Does this have something to do with Jonah dating Kelly? 463 00:17:30,301 --> 00:17:31,368 - Jonah and Kelly? - Whoa! 464 00:17:31,403 --> 00:17:32,870 - What? - What? No! 465 00:17:32,904 --> 00:17:34,405 - I knew it. - Come on. 466 00:17:34,439 --> 00:17:36,340 We were gonna keep that a secret. 467 00:17:36,374 --> 00:17:37,775 Well, then maybe you shouldn't have posted about it 468 00:17:37,809 --> 00:17:39,076 on the Internet. 469 00:17:39,110 --> 00:17:40,711 - Thank you. - Do we need to fill out 470 00:17:40,745 --> 00:17:42,546 one of those relationship disclosures? 471 00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:44,381 Oh, I'm sorry, you want to know if you need to 472 00:17:44,416 --> 00:17:47,117 let Corporate know that two low-level floor workers 473 00:17:47,152 --> 00:17:49,053 are in a relationship? Yeah, I'm su... 474 00:17:49,087 --> 00:17:50,354 Let me call a board meeting. 475 00:17:50,388 --> 00:17:51,922 Feels like misplaced aggression. 476 00:17:51,956 --> 00:17:53,524 Are we calling it a relationship? 477 00:17:53,558 --> 00:17:55,092 - Oh, I just meant for the... - No, I mean... I mean... 478 00:17:55,126 --> 00:17:56,960 - Are you... - Okay, if you... 479 00:17:56,995 --> 00:17:58,762 Yeah, no. I'm... I'm cool. 480 00:17:58,797 --> 00:18:01,532 - Cool. - Cool. 481 00:18:13,524 --> 00:18:16,580 Weird that this is a boogie board company. 482 00:18:17,342 --> 00:18:19,616 Guess he runs his business out of his home? 483 00:18:19,651 --> 00:18:20,490 Less overhead. 484 00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:21,443 Mm. 485 00:18:26,291 --> 00:18:28,092 Well, he's obviously not here, so we sh... 486 00:18:28,126 --> 00:18:29,960 - Hello? - Oh, hello. 487 00:18:29,994 --> 00:18:32,296 - Hello. - So sorry to bother you, 488 00:18:32,330 --> 00:18:36,233 - but is Martin Nestle here? - Who? 489 00:18:36,267 --> 00:18:38,502 Martin Nestle. 490 00:18:38,536 --> 00:18:42,172 This is Boogie-Time Boogie Board, Incorporated, isn't it? 491 00:18:42,207 --> 00:18:43,881 What's a boogie board? 492 00:18:43,882 --> 00:18:45,609 And 11 stitches there. 493 00:18:45,643 --> 00:18:47,845 Wow. You really do have a lot of scars. 494 00:18:47,879 --> 00:18:49,313 Well, that's why I switched to birds. 495 00:18:49,347 --> 00:18:50,848 Chimps are very violent. 496 00:18:50,882 --> 00:18:53,016 And they're constantly masturbating. 497 00:18:53,051 --> 00:18:54,451 Birds do it less. 498 00:18:54,486 --> 00:18:55,853 And when a bird orgasms, 499 00:18:55,887 --> 00:18:58,655 it's the most beautiful song you've ever heard. 500 00:18:58,690 --> 00:18:59,857 That's cool. 501 00:18:59,891 --> 00:19:02,159 It is. It is cool. 502 00:19:02,193 --> 00:19:04,161 Gosh. 503 00:19:04,195 --> 00:19:05,763 You know, I'm actually almost excited 504 00:19:05,797 --> 00:19:07,865 Roger decided to fart in all those cups and film it, 505 00:19:07,899 --> 00:19:09,500 because... 506 00:19:09,534 --> 00:19:12,359 It gave us a chance to get to know each other better. 507 00:19:14,339 --> 00:19:15,939 You wanna know something funny? 508 00:19:15,974 --> 00:19:17,973 Uh, yeah! 509 00:19:19,177 --> 00:19:21,311 I was the one who filmed him doing it. 510 00:19:21,346 --> 00:19:23,514 - Stop. - Plus, I dared him to do it. 511 00:19:23,548 --> 00:19:26,049 I was like, "I bet you can't fart into those cups," 512 00:19:26,084 --> 00:19:27,684 even though I totally knew he could. 513 00:19:27,719 --> 00:19:31,188 That's hilarious! 514 00:19:31,222 --> 00:19:32,956 I know, right? 515 00:19:38,329 --> 00:19:39,897 Oh, my gosh. 516 00:19:39,931 --> 00:19:44,234 Well, I... I just gotta go grab the form 517 00:19:44,269 --> 00:19:46,703 to write you up. 518 00:19:46,738 --> 00:19:49,239 Oh, but thank you so much for sharing that with me. 519 00:19:49,274 --> 00:19:50,662 It means a lot. 520 00:19:51,342 --> 00:19:53,232 Oh, my God. 521 00:19:57,382 --> 00:20:00,054 So, I guess that's it then. 522 00:20:02,020 --> 00:20:03,760 There's no Martin Nestle! 523 00:20:05,023 --> 00:20:06,390 I made him up. 524 00:20:06,424 --> 00:20:07,943 I made them all up, 525 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,394 but I am sorry. 526 00:20:10,428 --> 00:20:13,030 See? That, I find difficult to believe. 527 00:20:13,064 --> 00:20:16,333 Okay, what can I do to show you that I mean it? 528 00:20:16,948 --> 00:20:17,970 Well... 529 00:20:20,438 --> 00:20:22,573 Let me just make a quick call. 530 00:20:22,607 --> 00:20:25,909 Oh, you don't really have to clean out the rat traps. 531 00:20:25,944 --> 00:20:29,079 Ah-ah-ah, a bet is a bet, and you won. 532 00:20:29,113 --> 00:20:31,949 Yeah, that's not exactly how I wanted to win. 533 00:20:31,983 --> 00:20:33,083 Here, I'll give you a hand. 534 00:20:33,117 --> 00:20:35,419 All right! Let's do this. 535 00:20:35,453 --> 00:20:37,588 - All right. - Oh! You already have help. 536 00:20:37,622 --> 00:20:40,424 Oh, well, I worked fast food jobs through high school, 537 00:20:40,458 --> 00:20:43,227 so I know my way around a rat trap. 538 00:20:43,261 --> 00:20:45,295 So many talents. 539 00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:47,030 Your weapon. 540 00:20:47,065 --> 00:20:48,398 All right. Oh. 541 00:20:49,801 --> 00:20:52,269 Okay, well, then I guess I will just, uh, 542 00:20:52,303 --> 00:20:53,904 - leave you to it. - Bye! 543 00:20:53,938 --> 00:20:56,240 Later. 544 00:20:56,274 --> 00:20:59,943 Fun fact. That is just blueberry soda. 545 00:21:04,182 --> 00:21:08,886 I now baptize you for the forgiveness of your sins! 546 00:21:15,493 --> 00:21:16,627 I feel it working. 547 00:21:16,661 --> 00:21:18,729 That's the Jesus! 548 00:21:18,763 --> 00:21:22,432 Now, come on, I'll buy you that magnet from the gift shop. 549 00:21:22,433 --> 00:21:25,618 Synced and corrected by hawken45 for www.addic7ed.com 550 00:21:26,305 --> 00:21:32,201 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/5ngva Help other users to choose the best subtitles