1
00:00:00,340 --> 00:00:02,716
Oh my God, not contractions!
2
00:00:02,717 --> 00:00:03,851
Contractions!
3
00:00:03,852 --> 00:00:04,685
Should we go to the hospital?!
4
00:00:04,686 --> 00:00:06,320
Contractions at work.
5
00:00:06,321 --> 00:00:08,055
I have to fire two people.
6
00:00:08,056 --> 00:00:09,357
Rose, you gotta watch this.
7
00:00:09,358 --> 00:00:10,557
No no no.
8
00:00:10,558 --> 00:00:11,525
Do not watch
this birthing video.
9
00:00:11,526 --> 00:00:14,094
It's like a slasher movie,
starring a bald dwarf.
10
00:00:14,095 --> 00:00:14,894
I'm not scared.
11
00:00:14,895 --> 00:00:16,096
It's childbirth.
12
00:00:16,097 --> 00:00:17,964
There's nothing more
natural in the world.
13
00:00:17,965 --> 00:00:20,300
Then again, there's nothing
more natural than an epidural.
14
00:00:20,301 --> 00:00:21,401
Oh no, I'm not buying into
15
00:00:21,402 --> 00:00:23,603
Western medicine's
fear-mongering and painkillers.
16
00:00:23,604 --> 00:00:25,438
I want to feel every moment.
17
00:00:26,974 --> 00:00:27,773
Ouch.
18
00:00:27,774 --> 00:00:28,908
She really felt that moment.
19
00:00:28,909 --> 00:00:30,810
How do they deal with birth
pain in eastern medicine?
20
00:00:30,811 --> 00:00:36,382
They have one kid.
21
00:00:36,383 --> 00:00:37,683
Okay Western medicine wins.
22
00:00:37,684 --> 00:00:38,584
I want the drugs.
23
00:00:38,585 --> 00:00:39,552
They're not going to show it.
24
00:00:39,553 --> 00:00:40,786
Don't show it!
25
00:00:40,787 --> 00:00:42,187
Is that the head?
26
00:00:42,188 --> 00:00:42,755
Oh God!
27
00:00:43,790 --> 00:00:46,024
You're going to do this.
28
00:00:47,860 --> 00:00:49,628
I used to give, give, give.
29
00:00:49,629 --> 00:00:51,329
I gave to these two ladies.
30
00:00:51,330 --> 00:00:52,764
That's my boy.
31
00:00:52,765 --> 00:00:54,633
Oh, and I'm also their donor.
32
00:00:54,634 --> 00:00:57,135
That's kind of my daughter,
huh huh huh.
33
00:00:57,136 --> 00:01:00,038
And she's a little bit pregnant
with my baby too.
34
00:01:00,039 --> 00:01:02,740
I'm Harry, but the kids,
they call me dad.
35
00:01:02,764 --> 00:01:08,211
Sync & corrections by No1
www.addic7ed.com
36
00:01:08,212 --> 00:01:10,514
The storage unit is filled with
all this old junk of Ana's.
37
00:01:10,515 --> 00:01:12,816
I wish I knew a hobo to
come and take it all away.
38
00:01:12,817 --> 00:01:13,918
Ooh, rose!
39
00:01:13,919 --> 00:01:15,753
That could be her baby gift.
40
00:01:18,188 --> 00:01:21,123
Ana's figure skating
recital when she was ten!
41
00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:23,225
Oh that's right,
you missed it.
42
00:01:23,226 --> 00:01:24,427
Well the seats were awful.
43
00:01:24,428 --> 00:01:26,328
Ana would have needed
binoculars to see me.
44
00:01:26,329 --> 00:01:27,396
Typical.
45
00:01:27,397 --> 00:01:29,866
You only support Anastasia when
you know she'll notice it.
46
00:01:29,867 --> 00:01:31,367
Our daughter loves me.
47
00:01:31,368 --> 00:01:32,535
Hi dad.
48
00:01:32,536 --> 00:01:33,468
Hi you.
49
00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:34,102
Hey guys.
50
00:01:34,103 --> 00:01:35,003
You look well.
51
00:01:35,004 --> 00:01:35,704
What's this?
52
00:01:35,705 --> 00:01:38,807
- Free stuff?
- It's the birthing ledger I made
53
00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:40,676
in preparation
for Ana's arrival.
54
00:01:40,677 --> 00:01:43,579
Nutrition tips, contraction charts,
test times for our practice runs
55
00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:45,080
to the hospital.
56
00:01:45,081 --> 00:01:48,149
It's because I've always
been an involved parent.
57
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,785
But not involved enough to be
there for her actual birth.
58
00:01:50,786 --> 00:01:53,054
Oh.
59
00:01:53,055 --> 00:01:54,354
You skipped my birth?
60
00:01:54,355 --> 00:01:55,623
Not skipped!
61
00:01:55,624 --> 00:01:57,558
I fainted at seeing blood.
62
00:01:57,559 --> 00:01:58,626
He had a paper cut.
63
00:01:58,627 --> 00:02:00,327
It was an eleven
by fourteen page!
64
00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:03,898
I however, was in labor
for fifty six hours.
65
00:02:03,899 --> 00:02:05,065
But you always
tell me the story
66
00:02:05,066 --> 00:02:06,566
about how there was
no room at the hospital,
67
00:02:06,567 --> 00:02:08,001
and I had to
be born in a manger.
68
00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:09,869
You are a terrible liar.
69
00:02:09,870 --> 00:02:11,037
I knew you made that up!
70
00:02:11,038 --> 00:02:13,039
I knew there was no
such thing as a manger.
71
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:14,774
Now your father meant...
72
00:02:14,775 --> 00:02:15,875
You're worse than mom.
73
00:02:15,876 --> 00:02:18,277
At least she's not pretending
not to be horrible.
74
00:02:18,278 --> 00:02:20,080
Oh, Anastasia.
75
00:02:26,562 --> 00:02:28,020
A bill from the sperm bank?
76
00:02:28,021 --> 00:02:30,122
It's our annual sperm
donor storage fee.
77
00:02:30,123 --> 00:02:32,324
Four hundred dollars
to store sperm?
78
00:02:32,325 --> 00:02:33,258
For that money
79
00:02:33,259 --> 00:02:35,861
- we could buy you a pearl necklace.
- Look, we've been talking
80
00:02:35,862 --> 00:02:37,128
about this for months.
81
00:02:37,129 --> 00:02:38,429
Years.
82
00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:40,498
It's never a good time
to have another baby.
83
00:02:40,499 --> 00:02:43,626
You're right.
Hey, let's do this.
84
00:02:43,696 --> 00:02:45,336
Let's have a baby.
85
00:02:47,439 --> 00:02:48,405
Baby?
86
00:02:48,406 --> 00:02:49,641
All of a sudden?
87
00:02:49,642 --> 00:02:53,610
But we've been talking about this
since you were four, remember?
88
00:02:53,611 --> 00:02:54,845
You want a baby.
89
00:02:54,846 --> 00:02:58,015
Yeah, I wanted world peace for
Christmas when I was four.
90
00:02:58,016 --> 00:03:00,117
But I'm not a
dumb kid anymore.
91
00:03:00,118 --> 00:03:01,417
No.
92
00:03:01,418 --> 00:03:02,753
No baby.
93
00:03:02,754 --> 00:03:04,154
Not on my watch, ladies.
94
00:03:09,492 --> 00:03:11,460
Ok, breathe!
95
00:03:11,461 --> 00:03:12,294
Remember to breathe!
96
00:03:12,295 --> 00:03:14,396
I am just so overwhelmed.
97
00:03:15,799 --> 00:03:16,866
We're not ready!
98
00:03:16,867 --> 00:03:19,334
Thank God we're not having this baby
right now. We are not prepared.
99
00:03:19,335 --> 00:03:20,002
What are we going to do?
100
00:03:20,003 --> 00:03:20,903
I am.
101
00:03:20,904 --> 00:03:22,938
I stayed up all night
baby-proofing my apartment.
102
00:03:22,939 --> 00:03:24,640
Don't worry, I threw
away all my forks.
103
00:03:24,641 --> 00:03:27,408
Why would you?- Oh
and check this out!
104
00:03:27,409 --> 00:03:28,409
It's a birthing ledger.
105
00:03:28,410 --> 00:03:30,478
I've detailed out everything
we need to be ready.
106
00:03:30,479 --> 00:03:31,512
Wow.
107
00:03:31,513 --> 00:03:33,614
You are more
prepared than I am.
108
00:03:33,615 --> 00:03:34,816
You did this?
109
00:03:34,817 --> 00:03:36,985
Yeah, took me over two hours.
110
00:03:36,986 --> 00:03:39,154
Alright, let's beat our
hospital test time record.
111
00:03:39,155 --> 00:03:41,221
Ooh our record of three
hours and eight minutes?
112
00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:42,322
Yeah, we can
probably beat that-
113
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,257
I'm still not asking
for directions.
114
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:45,759
Oh no.
115
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:46,727
Can't find the keys.
116
00:03:46,728 --> 00:03:47,761
Dammit.
117
00:03:47,762 --> 00:03:51,131
Fax doctor the patient forms, put
fresh batteries in the pager,
118
00:03:51,132 --> 00:03:53,633
set vcr to record
Murphy brown?
119
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:54,668
What is this?
120
00:03:55,837 --> 00:03:57,303
Okay, I may have
121
00:03:57,304 --> 00:04:00,439
I borrowed that from Jonathan.
Pretty responsible of me to steal
122
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:01,574
his prep book though, right?
123
00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:04,010
Yeah.
124
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,011
It's more than I've done.
125
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,847
Oh no, oh my water broke!
126
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:09,916
Oh no!
127
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,017
The keys!
128
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,484
Okay, I gotta go
get a black-Smith?
129
00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:13,051
Lock-Smith?
130
00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:14,186
Black-Smith?
131
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:14,753
Don't have a baby
until I'm back.
132
00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:16,421
Wait.
133
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:17,388
No!
134
00:04:17,389 --> 00:04:19,091
My plastic water
bottle cracked!
135
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,727
It's not the-
136
00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:29,834
Okay darling, buh-bye.
137
00:04:29,835 --> 00:04:32,036
Just making plans
to hang with Ana.
138
00:04:32,037 --> 00:04:32,903
Ha.
139
00:04:32,904 --> 00:04:35,472
And I'm going to hang with the
President of the tax association.
140
00:04:35,473 --> 00:04:37,942
In what dream world, Janet?
141
00:04:37,943 --> 00:04:39,143
Ana wants to hang with me.
142
00:04:39,144 --> 00:04:43,214
She said at least she knows
that I was there for her birth.
143
00:04:43,215 --> 00:04:45,248
I can't believe you
ratted me out to Ana.
144
00:04:45,249 --> 00:04:48,084
You have secrets too.
You cut college classes to
145
00:04:48,085 --> 00:04:49,685
stand in line for
John tesh tickets.
146
00:04:49,686 --> 00:04:50,686
That is not true!
147
00:04:50,687 --> 00:04:52,088
There was no line.
148
00:04:52,089 --> 00:04:56,025
Anyway, I could tell her that you
look up urban slang to seem cool.
149
00:04:56,026 --> 00:04:57,827
You're being cray-cray.
150
00:04:59,063 --> 00:05:03,165
If you'll excuse me, I'm off to
have a mani-pedi with Anastasia.
151
00:05:03,166 --> 00:05:05,700
But that's our
daughter-daddy thing.
152
00:05:10,039 --> 00:05:11,606
You are not
having another baby.
153
00:05:11,607 --> 00:05:13,075
Not on my watch, ladies.
154
00:05:13,076 --> 00:05:14,409
Harry, this is grown up talk.
155
00:05:14,410 --> 00:05:16,811
But our family is
just the right size.
156
00:05:16,812 --> 00:05:19,914
I mean when we buy a dozen
donuts it works out perfectly.
157
00:05:19,915 --> 00:05:21,949
One for each of us,
and the rest for Harry.
158
00:05:21,950 --> 00:05:24,185
I'm not sharing my donut.
159
00:05:24,186 --> 00:05:25,286
Exactly.
160
00:05:25,287 --> 00:05:27,354
Has anyone thought about how
their life choices affect me?
161
00:05:27,355 --> 00:05:29,791
What, I'm just a pair of
testicles to you guys?
162
00:05:29,792 --> 00:05:31,592
Don't worry cause we're not
even using your sperm.
163
00:05:31,593 --> 00:05:32,526
Woah woah woah woah woah.
164
00:05:32,527 --> 00:05:33,693
What are you talking about?
165
00:05:33,694 --> 00:05:34,727
I'm great!
166
00:05:34,728 --> 00:05:35,361
My testicles are awesome!
167
00:05:35,362 --> 00:05:36,096
Wait.
168
00:05:36,097 --> 00:05:36,997
We're not using Harry?
169
00:05:36,998 --> 00:05:39,065
Do you really want to take
another chance with him?
170
00:05:39,066 --> 00:05:41,001
We won the lottery with you.
171
00:05:41,002 --> 00:05:44,237
Believe me, you guys,
you want my stuff.
172
00:05:49,009 --> 00:05:50,642
You might have a good point.
173
00:05:52,779 --> 00:05:54,280
I make good kids!
174
00:05:54,281 --> 00:05:55,580
He sure does.
175
00:05:57,584 --> 00:06:01,153
- I'm having this baby right now!
- What?
176
00:06:01,154 --> 00:06:03,355
I'm having this
baby right now!
177
00:06:03,356 --> 00:06:05,056
Thank you so much
for this hamburger.
178
00:06:05,057 --> 00:06:06,024
Yum.
179
00:06:06,025 --> 00:06:07,792
Well, it was actually
mine, but, that's fine-
180
00:06:07,793 --> 00:06:09,628
you know what? I made you a list
of things to do, Mr. prepared.
181
00:06:09,629 --> 00:06:10,829
And a schedule.
182
00:06:10,830 --> 00:06:12,330
Oh there's stuff
on both sides.
183
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:13,097
Sweet.
184
00:06:13,098 --> 00:06:14,165
Great.
185
00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:15,099
And tomorrow I'll
need you to pick up the
186
00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:16,535
baby seat and install
it in my car.
187
00:06:16,536 --> 00:06:18,770
Um, you know what my friend's
actually having a party -
188
00:06:18,771 --> 00:06:19,538
but that's fine, I'll skip it.
189
00:06:19,539 --> 00:06:20,505
Great.
190
00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:21,304
And grab some diapers.
191
00:06:21,305 --> 00:06:22,773
And then give me a call and
let me know it's done?
192
00:06:22,774 --> 00:06:23,206
Of, course.
193
00:06:23,207 --> 00:06:23,507
Amazing.
194
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:27,578
Listen to yourself.
195
00:06:27,579 --> 00:06:29,780
Listen to yourself.
196
00:06:29,781 --> 00:06:30,480
Preparing.
197
00:06:30,481 --> 00:06:31,181
Following lists.
198
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,215
Missing a party.
199
00:06:32,216 --> 00:06:33,216
You two practically
finish each other's-
200
00:06:33,217 --> 00:06:34,752
hamburgers?
201
00:06:34,753 --> 00:06:35,853
You're whipped.
202
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:38,187
That hamburger was yours.
You gave away meat.
203
00:06:38,188 --> 00:06:39,221
Meat.
204
00:06:39,222 --> 00:06:42,892
Harry, can you make sure that you-set
up the baby monitor at your place?
205
00:06:42,893 --> 00:06:44,527
Consider it done.
206
00:06:44,528 --> 00:06:46,762
I just finished her sentence.
207
00:06:46,763 --> 00:06:48,864
Oh, God.
208
00:06:48,865 --> 00:06:50,366
I've become a
whipped boyfriend!
209
00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:51,534
Boyfriends have sex.
210
00:06:51,535 --> 00:06:55,904
Responsibility without sex...
Am I her husband?
211
00:06:55,905 --> 00:06:56,905
Worse.
212
00:06:56,906 --> 00:06:57,940
You're a responsible adult.
213
00:06:57,941 --> 00:06:59,141
Oh God.
214
00:06:59,142 --> 00:07:00,376
Nooooo.
215
00:07:00,377 --> 00:07:02,577
Noooooooo.
216
00:07:02,578 --> 00:07:03,445
No.
217
00:07:09,918 --> 00:07:12,153
Who's whipped now?
218
00:07:12,154 --> 00:07:14,422
The pinata, that's who!
219
00:07:15,324 --> 00:07:17,024
Strippers are here!
220
00:07:19,294 --> 00:07:21,895
- Hey!
- Yeah! Pregnant stripper.
221
00:07:21,896 --> 00:07:22,696
No no no.
222
00:07:22,697 --> 00:07:23,663
False alarm.
223
00:07:23,664 --> 00:07:26,866
Mingle people, mingle.
224
00:07:26,867 --> 00:07:28,602
Is that woman wearing a bib?
225
00:07:28,603 --> 00:07:29,570
Dirty doula fund.
226
00:07:29,571 --> 00:07:31,972
It's my baby stag.
Like a baby shower,
227
00:07:31,973 --> 00:07:34,940
except instead of babies, there's
babes, and instead of a shower,
228
00:07:34,941 --> 00:07:37,710
there's - well we
may have that too.
229
00:07:37,711 --> 00:07:38,877
Oh, I get it.
230
00:07:38,878 --> 00:07:41,314
Like a last hurrah?
231
00:07:41,315 --> 00:07:42,081
Exactly.
232
00:07:42,082 --> 00:07:43,549
I mean no!
233
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:46,652
I mean this is a
celebration of hurrahs,
234
00:07:46,653 --> 00:07:48,821
and of me not being
a guy who's going
235
00:07:48,822 --> 00:07:51,356
to become all mature
and responsible.
236
00:07:51,357 --> 00:07:52,224
Yeah!
237
00:07:52,225 --> 00:07:53,057
Yeah!
238
00:07:54,227 --> 00:07:55,693
Oh, um.
239
00:07:55,694 --> 00:07:58,096
We were supposed to have another
trial run to the hospital.
240
00:07:58,097 --> 00:07:59,063
Forgot.
241
00:07:59,064 --> 00:08:00,698
What would you have done if
I were really in labour?
242
00:08:00,699 --> 00:08:02,501
I'd be there.
You just have to call me.
243
00:08:02,502 --> 00:08:03,502
I called.
244
00:08:05,204 --> 00:08:06,537
Eleven times.
245
00:08:06,538 --> 00:08:09,072
- I'm sorry.
- Is that my breast pump?
246
00:08:10,775 --> 00:08:16,424
- What kind of birth partner are you?
- Well, I'm not going to be
247
00:08:16,448 --> 00:08:20,251
the kind of guy who remembers to
record Murphy brown on his vcr
248
00:08:20,252 --> 00:08:21,452
before the birth.
249
00:08:21,453 --> 00:08:22,685
Burn.
250
00:08:22,686 --> 00:08:24,454
Then I'm going to find a
birth partner who will.
251
00:08:24,455 --> 00:08:26,856
Not that I want
to record Murphy brown,
252
00:08:26,857 --> 00:08:29,925
although I appreciate
its witty repartee.
253
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,894
Goodbye, Harry.
254
00:08:31,895 --> 00:08:33,229
Rose come on, hold on.
255
00:08:33,230 --> 00:08:34,230
You're over-reacting.
256
00:08:34,231 --> 00:08:36,566
The strippers are here!
257
00:08:39,735 --> 00:08:42,638
She won't find another
birth partner.
258
00:08:42,639 --> 00:08:43,972
You're rose's birth partner?
259
00:08:43,973 --> 00:08:47,276
Yes. Rose asked me, and
Janet said that I could.
260
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:48,810
You're stealing this from me!
261
00:08:48,811 --> 00:08:51,146
You drink my scotch,
hang with my daughter,
262
00:08:51,147 --> 00:08:55,416
use my toothbrush, which I've
been meaning to-rose is mine.
263
00:08:55,417 --> 00:08:56,717
Harry!
264
00:08:56,718 --> 00:08:57,552
Mom!
265
00:08:57,553 --> 00:08:58,519
How are you two?
266
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,521
Hey pumpkin.
267
00:09:00,522 --> 00:09:03,257
We're great.
268
00:09:03,258 --> 00:09:04,725
Give me back my birth partner!
269
00:09:04,726 --> 00:09:06,694
Oh don't worry, Jonathan'll
drop the ball,
270
00:09:06,695 --> 00:09:08,796
just like he did
at Ana's birth.
271
00:09:08,797 --> 00:09:11,030
Rose's baby is all
I have left, Harry!
272
00:09:11,031 --> 00:09:14,568
I'm going to birth-partner
it like it was my own.
273
00:09:14,569 --> 00:09:16,169
But you weren't there
for my birth.
274
00:09:16,170 --> 00:09:17,270
No no.
275
00:09:17,271 --> 00:09:18,871
It's okay, don't worry.
276
00:09:18,872 --> 00:09:20,773
Go to your other family.
277
00:09:20,774 --> 00:09:22,909
Other family?
278
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:24,877
Dad? Dad?
279
00:09:24,878 --> 00:09:26,179
Don't worry, honey.
280
00:09:26,180 --> 00:09:28,681
One parent is still
here for you.
281
00:09:28,682 --> 00:09:30,982
The bad one.
282
00:09:35,522 --> 00:09:37,755
Why is everyone trying
to replace me?!
283
00:09:37,756 --> 00:09:39,324
I'm better than
these sperm donors.
284
00:09:39,325 --> 00:09:40,958
I mean look at this guy.
285
00:09:40,959 --> 00:09:42,893
A new baby from me
would at least be cute.
286
00:09:42,894 --> 00:09:45,430
Don't you want your
new kid to be like Billy?
287
00:09:45,431 --> 00:09:48,966
We love Billy, it's just
genetics aren't important.
288
00:09:48,967 --> 00:09:50,501
So it's settled.
289
00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:53,304
Bjs-2885.
290
00:09:53,305 --> 00:09:54,471
You're really replacing me?
291
00:09:54,472 --> 00:09:55,605
Get in line, buddy.
292
00:09:55,606 --> 00:09:57,374
No, you two aren't
being replaced.
293
00:09:57,375 --> 00:09:59,676
We're all going to be there
when mommy Michelle experiences
294
00:09:59,677 --> 00:10:02,479
the euphoria of
carrying a baby.
295
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,549
- What?
- Euphoria, it means thrill or excitement.
296
00:10:05,550 --> 00:10:06,350
No, no, no, no, no.
297
00:10:06,351 --> 00:10:07,617
You're carrying the baby.
298
00:10:07,618 --> 00:10:09,952
- Giving birth is your thing.
- That's my thing?
299
00:10:09,953 --> 00:10:13,656
Carrying the baby, morning
sickness, gaining thirty pounds?
300
00:10:13,657 --> 00:10:15,591
Thirty pounds, I wish.
301
00:10:15,592 --> 00:10:18,093
No, you've got good genes.
302
00:10:18,094 --> 00:10:19,061
And Billy's awesome.
303
00:10:19,062 --> 00:10:20,730
I mean, don't you want
another Billy?
304
00:10:20,731 --> 00:10:21,797
Another Billy?
305
00:10:21,798 --> 00:10:23,566
You said I wasn't
being replaced?
306
00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:24,834
You said genetics
don't matter.
307
00:10:24,835 --> 00:10:28,837
Okay, we can use Harry's
stuff if you carry the kid.
308
00:10:28,838 --> 00:10:31,740
No, I am not going through
the hell of pregnancy again.
309
00:10:31,741 --> 00:10:33,074
No.
310
00:10:33,075 --> 00:10:34,242
It was a wonderful experience.
311
00:10:34,243 --> 00:10:36,611
But mommy just
wants to be fair.
312
00:10:36,612 --> 00:10:40,515
Well, I'm not
carrying the baby.
313
00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:41,349
Yes!
314
00:10:46,788 --> 00:10:48,121
Oh my God.
315
00:10:48,122 --> 00:10:48,589
Rose?
316
00:10:48,590 --> 00:10:49,790
Is it time?
317
00:10:49,791 --> 00:10:50,691
Now?
318
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,860
No, McConaughey was robbed!
319
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:54,961
How is he not the sexiest
man this year?
320
00:10:54,962 --> 00:10:57,730
I know, right?
321
00:10:57,731 --> 00:10:59,131
I'm sorry I let you down.
322
00:10:59,132 --> 00:11:01,634
I just felt like I was
becoming a hen-pecked loser.
323
00:11:01,635 --> 00:11:02,668
You were.
324
00:11:02,669 --> 00:11:04,570
I am not a loser.
325
00:11:04,571 --> 00:11:05,772
I tried to make you like me;
326
00:11:05,773 --> 00:11:07,840
A responsible, caring, adult.
327
00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:09,842
That was stupid.
328
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:16,782
Harry you are so awesome at so many
things, like chugging beer and...
329
00:11:19,485 --> 00:11:21,319
You have so many gifts.
330
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:25,990
But Jonathan is great at
the lame stuff I need.
331
00:11:25,991 --> 00:11:27,992
I'm really happy we're sharing
our feelings like this.
332
00:11:27,993 --> 00:11:30,494
It's healthy-that is
henpecked Harry talking!
333
00:11:30,495 --> 00:11:32,530
Next you'll be pricing
out minivans.
334
00:11:32,531 --> 00:11:33,297
Oh, God.
335
00:11:33,298 --> 00:11:34,832
What's happened to me?
336
00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:36,166
I happened to you!
337
00:11:36,167 --> 00:11:38,736
I went to a sperm bank, and
suddenly there's an 'us'.
338
00:11:38,737 --> 00:11:40,037
There's no 'us'.
339
00:11:40,038 --> 00:11:41,204
Wait.
340
00:11:41,205 --> 00:11:42,306
You don't want me in
the birth room at all?
341
00:11:42,307 --> 00:11:44,809
What did you think I meant by choosing
Jonathan as my birth partner?
342
00:11:44,810 --> 00:11:46,843
I just thought Jonathan
would be the one filming
343
00:11:46,844 --> 00:11:49,985
your vagi... baby birth
area, instead of me.
344
00:11:49,998 --> 00:11:53,149
I should film you.
345
00:11:53,150 --> 00:11:55,117
Jonathan has no sense
of composition.
346
00:11:55,118 --> 00:11:57,887
Yeah, it'd be better for me
if you weren't in the room.
347
00:11:57,888 --> 00:11:59,456
Well, then I won't be there!
348
00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:00,356
Good, don't be!
349
00:12:00,357 --> 00:12:01,257
Fine, I won't!
350
00:12:01,258 --> 00:12:02,157
Great!
351
00:12:02,158 --> 00:12:03,525
Awesome!
352
00:12:03,526 --> 00:12:04,225
Have a great birth, rose.
353
00:12:04,226 --> 00:12:05,226
I will!
354
00:12:06,496 --> 00:12:08,797
Seriously, I meant that.
355
00:12:10,333 --> 00:12:13,268
Yeah.
356
00:12:13,269 --> 00:12:14,970
Thank you.
357
00:12:14,971 --> 00:12:16,839
Okay, just need my keys.
358
00:12:28,116 --> 00:12:29,416
What a bitch.
359
00:12:33,621 --> 00:12:34,721
I'm off to see rose.
360
00:12:34,722 --> 00:12:35,922
Where's Ana?
361
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,056
Oh she's having a nap.
362
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:37,691
So you might want
to slip out quietly.
363
00:12:37,692 --> 00:12:39,058
Daddy!
364
00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:40,226
I've got a treat for you.
365
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:44,163
Thanks, but I have to head out for
another pregnancy rehearsal-oh!
366
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:44,931
I can spend some
time with you.
367
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:45,999
Not now, woman.
368
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,667
I made you a chocolate
cake I bought.
369
00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:49,568
Thanks, but I have to rearrange
rose's hospital bag.
370
00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:51,937
I didn't pack
anything casual smart.
371
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,739
Don't leave me for
some other family.
372
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,173
I would never leave you.
373
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:56,976
You're my Ana banana.
374
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:57,877
Really?
375
00:12:57,878 --> 00:12:58,944
Thanks, dad.
376
00:12:58,945 --> 00:12:59,812
Remember to pay
my credit card bill.
377
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:03,081
Hello.
378
00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:04,149
Jonathan, take your time.
379
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:06,017
I'm just looking at the
baby seats you suggested.
380
00:13:06,018 --> 00:13:07,318
We can rehearse another time.
381
00:13:07,319 --> 00:13:09,420
You need to see
me immediately, rose?
382
00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:11,723
You're asking me to
abandon my family.
383
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:13,524
Well okay!
384
00:13:13,525 --> 00:13:15,759
No, I said take your time.
385
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,160
I'm here for you and the baby.
386
00:13:17,161 --> 00:13:19,396
Hey let's meet
for vanilla cupcakes.
387
00:13:19,397 --> 00:13:22,032
Yes, I do prefer
them to chocolate.
388
00:13:22,033 --> 00:13:23,299
Cake is our thing.
389
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:25,168
He's trying to manipulate
you, sweetheart.
390
00:13:25,169 --> 00:13:26,637
And not very well.
391
00:13:26,638 --> 00:13:27,738
Don't go, daddy!
392
00:13:27,739 --> 00:13:30,806
We can play tax auditors and robbers
like when I was a little girl.
393
00:13:30,807 --> 00:13:31,440
Can't meet today.
394
00:13:31,441 --> 00:13:32,241
Maybe ever, rose.
395
00:13:32,242 --> 00:13:33,876
Bye.
396
00:13:33,877 --> 00:13:35,177
Wait, I can be your
birth partner.
397
00:13:35,178 --> 00:13:36,846
Ooh. I'd rather have this
baby alone in a cave.
398
00:13:36,847 --> 00:13:37,980
I have two degrees, rose!
399
00:13:37,981 --> 00:13:39,815
Two degrees!
400
00:13:39,816 --> 00:13:43,553
Oh, you do want me to
be your birth partner?
401
00:13:43,554 --> 00:13:46,721
Well that would just mean
less time with Anastasia.
402
00:13:46,722 --> 00:13:47,622
Whatever.
403
00:13:47,623 --> 00:13:49,925
I need Jonathan now!
404
00:13:49,926 --> 00:13:52,060
I'm in labor...
405
00:13:52,061 --> 00:13:54,529
And car parts at
the hardware store.
406
00:13:54,530 --> 00:13:55,530
Parts and labor?
407
00:13:55,531 --> 00:13:57,432
Also, I'm having this baby!
408
00:13:57,433 --> 00:14:01,852
- Right now!
- Can we get a cleanup in aisle four?
409
00:14:05,422 --> 00:14:07,756
Finally get to
use my stopwatch.
410
00:14:07,757 --> 00:14:08,925
Get me an epidural.
411
00:14:08,926 --> 00:14:09,959
I got to call my mom!
412
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:11,294
No, we're doing this
the natural way.
413
00:14:11,295 --> 00:14:12,594
What?
414
00:14:14,164 --> 00:14:14,730
Mom!
415
00:14:14,731 --> 00:14:16,232
I'm pregnant.
416
00:14:16,233 --> 00:14:17,333
Rose!
417
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:18,234
I gotta call you back.
418
00:14:18,235 --> 00:14:18,935
What are you doing here?
419
00:14:18,936 --> 00:14:19,635
I called him.
420
00:14:19,636 --> 00:14:20,803
Did I miss anything?
421
00:14:20,804 --> 00:14:24,072
She's only been in labour for
about twenty seven minutes.
422
00:14:24,073 --> 00:14:25,206
Jonathan made great
time getting here.
423
00:14:25,207 --> 00:14:26,241
Just saying.
424
00:14:26,242 --> 00:14:27,509
Also he has his
own set of scrubs!
425
00:14:27,510 --> 00:14:28,276
Come on, I want to be here.
426
00:14:28,277 --> 00:14:29,044
Please.
427
00:14:29,045 --> 00:14:33,114
I specifically... ahhh.
428
00:14:33,115 --> 00:14:34,282
Ouch.
429
00:14:34,283 --> 00:14:38,285
Are you okay?
430
00:14:38,286 --> 00:14:39,487
Wow, you really care
about rose.
431
00:14:39,488 --> 00:14:40,321
Yes.
432
00:14:40,322 --> 00:14:42,490
No, no, I do not.
433
00:14:42,491 --> 00:14:43,991
We do not like each
other like that.
434
00:14:43,992 --> 00:14:44,391
At all.
435
00:14:44,392 --> 00:14:50,364
- Ahhhhh!
- I can't take this.
436
00:14:50,365 --> 00:14:52,032
I need oxygen.
437
00:14:52,033 --> 00:14:53,467
That's not oxygen.
438
00:14:53,468 --> 00:14:54,968
That's anaesthesia.
439
00:14:54,969 --> 00:14:55,936
Anesthesia?
440
00:14:58,005 --> 00:14:59,506
That's our daughter's name!
441
00:14:59,507 --> 00:15:00,640
That's laughing gas.
442
00:15:00,641 --> 00:15:02,208
Her name's not "laughing gas".
443
00:15:02,209 --> 00:15:04,811
That's a crazy name!
444
00:15:04,812 --> 00:15:08,281
These contractions seem really close
together, Jonathan don't you think
445
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:09,348
we should call the doctor?
446
00:15:09,349 --> 00:15:10,816
I'm not sure
how this thing works.
447
00:15:10,817 --> 00:15:13,853
Why do you like more than Jonathan
than me as your birth man?
448
00:15:13,854 --> 00:15:17,590
He's reliable, he's
caring, he's responsible.
449
00:15:17,591 --> 00:15:19,992
Also I'm going to be revealing a
lot of myself and it helps that
450
00:15:19,993 --> 00:15:21,527
I don't find him
attractive at all.
451
00:15:21,528 --> 00:15:22,862
He's not a manly man.
452
00:15:22,863 --> 00:15:25,663
No, it's like having
a girlfriend here.
453
00:15:25,664 --> 00:15:26,865
And not a bitchy girlfriend.
454
00:15:26,866 --> 00:15:27,832
Well that's sweet.
455
00:15:27,833 --> 00:15:29,634
So thank you.
456
00:15:29,635 --> 00:15:31,035
I'm scared I'm
going to be a bad dad.
457
00:15:31,036 --> 00:15:32,303
I'm scared I'm going
to screw this child up.
458
00:15:32,304 --> 00:15:34,506
- What am I doing with my life?
- Sometimes I think
459
00:15:34,507 --> 00:15:35,540
racial profiling makes sense.
460
00:15:35,541 --> 00:15:36,641
I enjoy watching
figure skating.
461
00:15:36,642 --> 00:15:37,675
Even the men's.
462
00:15:37,676 --> 00:15:40,410
I did not drown that man,
but I didn't save him either.
463
00:15:40,423 --> 00:15:43,168
- Hi.
- Hi.
464
00:15:43,180 --> 00:15:45,716
Why did you pick
Jonathan over me?
465
00:15:45,717 --> 00:15:49,452
Because I don't like Jonathan!
466
00:15:49,453 --> 00:15:52,155
Wow that is cold.
467
00:15:52,156 --> 00:15:54,457
That means you like me?
468
00:16:01,698 --> 00:16:05,300
Owwww!
469
00:16:05,301 --> 00:16:07,469
Paper cut.
470
00:16:07,470 --> 00:16:08,538
Must...
471
00:16:08,539 --> 00:16:09,271
Stay...
472
00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:11,574
Conscious.
473
00:16:12,909 --> 00:16:14,843
Your father is not
trying to replace you.
474
00:16:14,844 --> 00:16:16,377
He adores us.
475
00:16:16,378 --> 00:16:17,846
It's a boy!
476
00:16:17,847 --> 00:16:19,014
I did it!
477
00:16:19,015 --> 00:16:20,214
I stayed conscious.
478
00:16:20,215 --> 00:16:21,282
What?
479
00:16:21,283 --> 00:16:22,517
So soon?
480
00:16:22,518 --> 00:16:24,519
I mean rose has barely
had time to experience
481
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,088
the excruciating pain
of child birth.
482
00:16:27,089 --> 00:16:28,722
Which I completely loved.
483
00:16:28,723 --> 00:16:30,090
It was so quick and easy.
484
00:16:30,091 --> 00:16:31,792
It was amazing!
485
00:16:31,793 --> 00:16:35,228
This is the happiest
day of my life!
486
00:16:35,229 --> 00:16:36,564
The happiest?
487
00:16:36,565 --> 00:16:37,531
Burn.
488
00:16:37,532 --> 00:16:38,699
Why are you here?
489
00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:40,200
Harry's my friend.
490
00:16:40,201 --> 00:16:42,335
And he gave me fifty
bucks to drive him here.
491
00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:43,637
Rose had the baby.
492
00:16:43,638 --> 00:16:44,771
Forty eight minutes of labour.
493
00:16:44,772 --> 00:16:47,339
And absolutely no pain.
494
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,709
That little-
that is so unfair!
495
00:16:49,710 --> 00:16:51,310
How dare rose
deliver pain free.
496
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,511
Shhh.
497
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,914
The mothers who actually went through
child birth are talking right now.
498
00:16:54,915 --> 00:16:55,815
Sorry, mish.
499
00:16:55,816 --> 00:16:57,116
But don't you want to be
part of the pregnancy club?
500
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:58,117
See?
501
00:16:58,118 --> 00:16:59,285
Some pregnancies can be easy.
502
00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:04,355
Well if it was that easy, then you'll
have no problems doing it again.
503
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:06,191
My baby.
504
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,694
We look alike too.
505
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:15,266
That's a bed-pan wrapped
in a blanket, idiot.
506
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:16,767
Billy.
507
00:17:16,768 --> 00:17:18,335
Where's Harry's new side kick?
508
00:17:18,336 --> 00:17:22,139
The baby? Ah, he's with the doctors,
they're just checking him out.
509
00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:24,308
He's amazing.
510
00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:25,209
You win.
511
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,277
You and the baby get Harry.
512
00:17:27,278 --> 00:17:33,083
Oh no, Billy, you're not losing Harry,
you're gaining a little brother.
513
00:17:33,084 --> 00:17:34,417
He's your side kick.
514
00:17:34,418 --> 00:17:35,852
I get a side kick?
515
00:17:35,853 --> 00:17:37,754
You're not being replaced.
516
00:17:37,755 --> 00:17:40,356
And when he comes back, we'll
introduce you to little William.
517
00:17:40,357 --> 00:17:41,124
William?
518
00:17:41,125 --> 00:17:42,025
But that's my name.
519
00:17:42,026 --> 00:17:43,960
No, your name is Billy.
520
00:17:43,961 --> 00:17:45,996
Oh, right.
521
00:17:45,997 --> 00:17:49,564
Um, we'll choose a new name.
You can help.
522
00:17:49,565 --> 00:17:52,134
But right now,
I got to get some rest.
523
00:17:58,508 --> 00:18:02,611
Look, I feel horrible about this whole
"happiest day of my life" thing.
524
00:18:02,612 --> 00:18:04,912
But it was like I was
witnessing your birth.
525
00:18:04,913 --> 00:18:08,616
Except Anastasia took sixty four
hours, instead of ten minutes.
526
00:18:08,617 --> 00:18:10,217
Let it go, mom.
527
00:18:10,218 --> 00:18:12,020
I've always regretted not
being there for your birth.
528
00:18:12,021 --> 00:18:16,057
Having you now makes all
of my days the happiest.
529
00:18:19,194 --> 00:18:21,061
Your father wanted a boy.
530
00:18:21,062 --> 00:18:21,995
Okay I'm sorry.
531
00:18:21,996 --> 00:18:23,030
That's not true.
532
00:18:23,031 --> 00:18:25,198
Hey, I've been there.
533
00:18:39,646 --> 00:18:41,346
Shhh.
534
00:18:41,347 --> 00:18:42,447
Mommy's asleep.
535
00:18:42,448 --> 00:18:44,050
Oh, there you are.
536
00:18:50,223 --> 00:18:51,523
Isn't he beautiful?
537
00:18:51,524 --> 00:18:53,457
Harry, that baby's black.
538
00:18:53,458 --> 00:18:55,126
Oh, no.
539
00:18:55,127 --> 00:18:56,561
They gave you the
wrong sperm, rose!
540
00:18:59,665 --> 00:19:00,665
Wrong baby.
541
00:19:00,666 --> 00:19:02,067
Give me the baby.
542
00:19:04,536 --> 00:19:06,037
Isn't he beautiful?
543
00:19:06,038 --> 00:19:07,105
Oh no!
544
00:19:07,106 --> 00:19:07,972
I've been bitten.
545
00:19:07,973 --> 00:19:09,039
It's a baby, it
doesn't have teeth.
546
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:09,973
Or does it?
547
00:19:09,974 --> 00:19:10,741
Can I see?
548
00:19:10,742 --> 00:19:12,910
No, bitten by the baby bug.
549
00:19:12,911 --> 00:19:15,913
I just realized that
I really do want a baby.
550
00:19:15,914 --> 00:19:17,848
Dammit.
551
00:19:17,849 --> 00:19:20,951
I really want
to take him home.
552
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:23,987
And one two three four...
553
00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:25,621
Ten fingers, and ten toes.
554
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:26,956
And no teeth.
555
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,758
Nice work on this one, m'am.
556
00:19:28,759 --> 00:19:30,626
There's your baby.
557
00:19:34,064 --> 00:19:38,534
- Aww!
- Isn't he gorgeous?
558
00:19:38,535 --> 00:19:45,340
- He's adorable.
- She's adorable.
559
00:19:45,341 --> 00:19:47,109
Is this actually my baby?
560
00:19:47,110 --> 00:19:48,110
Yep.
561
00:19:50,312 --> 00:19:51,113
Wow.
562
00:19:52,581 --> 00:19:54,716
Harry, this is your son.
563
00:19:54,717 --> 00:19:55,483
Pinocchio.
564
00:19:55,484 --> 00:19:56,417
No.
565
00:19:56,418 --> 00:19:57,317
Frodo.
566
00:19:57,318 --> 00:19:57,952
No.
567
00:19:57,953 --> 00:19:58,452
Adolfo.
568
00:19:58,453 --> 00:19:59,653
No.
569
00:19:59,654 --> 00:20:01,021
I want to have a baby!
570
00:20:01,022 --> 00:20:02,623
And I'll carry it myself.
571
00:20:02,624 --> 00:20:04,191
Oh my God, really?
572
00:20:04,192 --> 00:20:05,126
Oh I love you!
573
00:20:08,029 --> 00:20:08,963
Wow.
574
00:20:24,478 --> 00:20:26,579
Finally.
575
00:20:26,580 --> 00:20:28,914
My little guy.
576
00:20:28,915 --> 00:20:33,485
I am so sorry I missed your
birth, but I promise you,
577
00:20:33,486 --> 00:20:37,221
I'm gonna be there
every day you need me.
578
00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:49,967
Oh God, what do I do?
579
00:20:49,968 --> 00:20:51,769
He probably needs a boob.
580
00:20:51,770 --> 00:20:52,869
I mean he's my son.
581
00:20:52,870 --> 00:20:54,104
So it would make sense.
582
00:20:54,105 --> 00:20:57,640
Oh, yeah.
583
00:20:57,641 --> 00:21:03,280
Shhhhhhhh.
584
00:21:06,318 --> 00:21:07,685
So.
585
00:21:07,686 --> 00:21:08,686
How's this going to work?
586
00:21:08,687 --> 00:21:10,422
We'll figure it out.
587
00:21:10,423 --> 00:21:12,056
You're the mother of my baby.
588
00:21:12,057 --> 00:21:14,224
There will never be
another bond like this.
589
00:21:14,225 --> 00:21:15,793
Harry?
590
00:21:15,794 --> 00:21:17,060
Brenda!
591
00:21:17,061 --> 00:21:18,161
Linda.
592
00:21:18,162 --> 00:21:19,596
It's still Linda.
593
00:21:19,597 --> 00:21:21,298
Linda. Linda.
594
00:21:21,299 --> 00:21:22,098
Right.
595
00:21:22,099 --> 00:21:23,300
You look well.
596
00:21:23,301 --> 00:21:24,367
It's been a while.
597
00:21:24,368 --> 00:21:25,536
How long?
598
00:21:25,537 --> 00:21:27,404
Around nine months.
599
00:21:29,306 --> 00:21:35,244
- Oh, great. She's a redhead too.
- Yeah, that's my big concern right now.
600
00:21:37,147 --> 00:21:38,380
Hi.
601
00:21:38,405 --> 00:21:48,984
Sync & corrections by No1
www.addic7ed.com