1
00:00:02,929 --> 00:00:03,963
Why are you here?
2
00:00:03,964 --> 00:00:05,697
I'm going shirt shopping
with Anastasia.
3
00:00:05,698 --> 00:00:06,598
Want a scotch?
4
00:00:06,599 --> 00:00:08,033
This is our home.
5
00:00:09,202 --> 00:00:09,935
Oh, right.
6
00:00:09,936 --> 00:00:11,636
You're out of scotch.
7
00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:13,172
I'm glad Anastasia
finally broke up
8
00:00:13,173 --> 00:00:14,372
with that loser, Bucky Denton.
9
00:00:14,373 --> 00:00:16,307
That happens to be old news.
10
00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:18,642
You knew Ana was
dating someone?
11
00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:19,677
No.
12
00:00:19,678 --> 00:00:21,012
She went from
"In a Relationship"
13
00:00:21,013 --> 00:00:22,981
to "Single" yesterday.
14
00:00:22,982 --> 00:00:23,948
You guys aren't
friends with her?
15
00:00:23,949 --> 00:00:25,416
Not since she hit puberty.
16
00:00:25,417 --> 00:00:27,618
Facebook friends.
17
00:00:27,619 --> 00:00:29,820
Eight hundred people know
Anastasia better than you do.
18
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:31,788
I would love to be
her Facebook friend.
19
00:00:31,789 --> 00:00:32,755
Get an account.
20
00:00:32,756 --> 00:00:33,490
I'll show you
how computers work.
21
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:34,557
Oh please Harry.
22
00:00:34,558 --> 00:00:37,694
We have an account on
the world wide web.
23
00:00:37,695 --> 00:00:40,163
How did you get Anastasia to
accept your friend request?
24
00:00:40,164 --> 00:00:41,264
I didn't.
25
00:00:41,265 --> 00:00:43,533
She actually asked
me to be her friend.
26
00:00:43,534 --> 00:00:44,934
She asked you?
27
00:00:46,503 --> 00:00:47,470
Oh here she comes.
28
00:00:48,538 --> 00:00:49,738
That's hilarious.
29
00:00:49,739 --> 00:00:50,739
Hey, Harry!
30
00:00:50,740 --> 00:00:52,375
That was so funny.
31
00:00:52,376 --> 00:00:54,743
I can't believe
you wrote that.
32
00:00:54,744 --> 00:00:58,280
Yeah but your mom
is totally not a-
33
00:00:59,916 --> 00:01:01,650
I used to give, give, give.
34
00:01:01,651 --> 00:01:03,351
I gave to these two ladies.
35
00:01:03,352 --> 00:01:04,952
That's my boy.
36
00:01:04,953 --> 00:01:06,821
Oh, and I'm also their donor.
37
00:01:06,822 --> 00:01:09,357
That's kind of my daughter,
huh huh huh.
38
00:01:09,358 --> 00:01:12,327
And she's a little bit pregnant
with my baby too.
39
00:01:12,328 --> 00:01:15,196
I'm Harry, but the kids,
they call me dad.
40
00:01:15,218 --> 00:01:23,259
Sync & corrections by No1
www.addic7ed.com
41
00:01:23,271 --> 00:01:25,239
Hey, beautiful, how
'bout another?
42
00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,741
Martini, two olives,
hold the douche.
43
00:01:32,380 --> 00:01:33,713
You'll never land her, Harry.
44
00:01:33,714 --> 00:01:35,181
She's your white whale.
45
00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:36,182
Your Moby Dick.
46
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:37,683
Tonight's the night,
I can feel it.
47
00:01:37,684 --> 00:01:40,153
I'd give you a paid shift off
if you Moby-Dicked her.
48
00:01:40,154 --> 00:01:41,387
How long have you been
waiting to use that?
49
00:01:41,388 --> 00:01:42,455
Three months.
50
00:01:42,456 --> 00:01:45,425
It ain't happening.
51
00:01:45,426 --> 00:01:47,460
And that's the third time
in a row you stood me up.
52
00:01:47,461 --> 00:01:48,894
Baby's room?
53
00:01:48,895 --> 00:01:49,628
We're supposed to get a crib?
54
00:01:49,629 --> 00:01:50,162
Remember?
55
00:01:50,163 --> 00:01:51,063
I remember!
56
00:01:51,064 --> 00:01:51,896
Now.
57
00:01:51,897 --> 00:01:53,465
That you told me.
58
00:01:53,466 --> 00:01:54,632
Sorry, I forgot.
59
00:01:54,633 --> 00:01:55,600
Did you forgot I was pregnant?
60
00:01:55,601 --> 00:01:56,734
How could I forget that?
61
00:01:56,735 --> 00:01:58,170
You're huge!
62
00:01:58,171 --> 00:01:59,804
In a good way.
63
00:01:59,805 --> 00:02:01,005
Like a sumo wrestler.
64
00:02:01,006 --> 00:02:02,040
What?
65
00:02:02,041 --> 00:02:03,408
You...
66
00:02:03,409 --> 00:02:05,143
I...
67
00:02:05,144 --> 00:02:05,810
have to pee.
68
00:02:05,811 --> 00:02:06,610
Again?
69
00:02:06,611 --> 00:02:07,144
I'm peeing for two.
70
00:02:07,145 --> 00:02:08,045
Hmm.
71
00:02:08,046 --> 00:02:08,979
How's that?
72
00:02:08,980 --> 00:02:10,781
Well, interesting.
73
00:02:13,952 --> 00:02:16,620
We haven't properly
met, have we?
74
00:02:16,621 --> 00:02:17,455
My fault.
75
00:02:17,456 --> 00:02:19,923
I can be a real ice queen.
76
00:02:21,593 --> 00:02:23,659
Congratulations on the baby.
77
00:02:23,660 --> 00:02:26,929
You and your wife
must be so happy.
78
00:02:26,930 --> 00:02:28,531
Oh, that's not my wife.
79
00:02:28,532 --> 00:02:30,600
I am free as a bird.
80
00:02:30,601 --> 00:02:34,036
Do you-Ya, I'm
kind of talked out.
81
00:02:37,141 --> 00:02:38,507
She's a home wrecker.
82
00:02:38,508 --> 00:02:39,374
Yeah.
83
00:02:39,375 --> 00:02:40,075
Home demolition contractor.
84
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:40,909
How did you know?
85
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:42,144
I didn't.
86
00:02:42,145 --> 00:02:45,380
I mean she's a "home wrecker".
87
00:02:45,381 --> 00:02:46,548
She likes married men.
88
00:02:46,549 --> 00:02:48,817
It's an easy way for us-them-
89
00:02:48,818 --> 00:02:50,619
to have a non-committed
relationship.
90
00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:53,855
And when you threaten to tell
their wives, they give you bling.
91
00:02:53,856 --> 00:02:54,822
Sweet.
92
00:02:54,823 --> 00:02:57,158
I've found the key to
Moby-Dick's shackled heart.
93
00:02:57,159 --> 00:02:58,959
And by heart, you mean pants.
94
00:02:58,960 --> 00:02:59,727
No, Irene.
95
00:02:59,728 --> 00:03:01,429
That's not what I meant.
96
00:03:01,430 --> 00:03:03,197
I meant vagina.
97
00:03:03,198 --> 00:03:05,866
I can't wait to harpoon
that white whale.
98
00:03:05,867 --> 00:03:07,201
And by harpoon I mean...
99
00:03:09,304 --> 00:03:10,437
So, ah, what do you think?
100
00:03:10,438 --> 00:03:11,505
It's ridiculous.
101
00:03:11,506 --> 00:03:12,572
I know, it's a bit flashy but-
102
00:03:12,573 --> 00:03:13,906
He just waltzes in
like he owns the place.
103
00:03:13,907 --> 00:03:15,142
Oh. You mean Harry.
104
00:03:19,913 --> 00:03:20,813
Party!
105
00:03:20,814 --> 00:03:21,381
Back deck, five minutes!
106
00:03:21,382 --> 00:03:21,848
Very exclusive.
107
00:03:21,849 --> 00:03:24,117
Ha ha!
108
00:03:24,118 --> 00:03:25,452
You're really focused
on that volunteering.
109
00:03:25,453 --> 00:03:27,119
It's so great.
110
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,320
These gay, bullied teens
111
00:03:28,321 --> 00:03:29,622
need someone to
tell them that there is
112
00:03:29,623 --> 00:03:30,456
life beyond high school.
113
00:03:30,457 --> 00:03:32,324
Oh yeah, like when
you fall in love.
114
00:03:32,325 --> 00:03:33,192
And get married.
115
00:03:33,193 --> 00:03:35,093
And get busy,
and lose sight of
116
00:03:35,094 --> 00:03:38,130
all the important things that
are just right in front of you.
117
00:03:38,131 --> 00:03:39,865
These kids are just getting
completely ignored.
118
00:03:39,866 --> 00:03:42,100
Yeah, that must feel terrible.
119
00:03:42,101 --> 00:03:46,003
Don't ask how I know this, but
you're out of toilet paper.
120
00:03:46,004 --> 00:03:47,104
It's on the shopping list.
121
00:03:47,105 --> 00:03:48,039
Along with that
beer you really like.
122
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:49,607
You are the best wife ever.
123
00:03:51,677 --> 00:03:52,610
Do you see the way
he looks at you?
124
00:03:52,611 --> 00:03:54,111
No, I don't.
125
00:03:54,112 --> 00:03:55,580
The kiddie pool is full.
126
00:03:55,581 --> 00:03:56,681
You're both on the guest-list.
127
00:03:56,682 --> 00:03:57,815
Hot tub party!
128
00:03:57,816 --> 00:03:58,815
Let's go!
129
00:04:04,455 --> 00:04:07,424
Why don't you grab your
bikini, Zoey, and join us?
130
00:04:07,425 --> 00:04:08,392
Alright.
131
00:04:17,568 --> 00:04:20,269
I just don't see how
this fits together.
132
00:04:20,270 --> 00:04:21,704
You really don't think
we need that part?
133
00:04:21,705 --> 00:04:22,572
Nope.
134
00:04:22,573 --> 00:04:23,339
It's super.
135
00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:24,640
I'm not sure we bought
the right type of crib.
136
00:04:24,641 --> 00:04:25,541
Mmm-hmm.
137
00:04:25,542 --> 00:04:27,176
Okay, you're not
even listening.
138
00:04:27,177 --> 00:04:29,245
I stopped listening seven
crib discussions ago.
139
00:04:29,246 --> 00:04:30,545
It's a crib!
140
00:04:30,546 --> 00:04:32,113
The baby's not going
to try to escape, Rose.
141
00:04:32,114 --> 00:04:33,715
You're not giving
birth to a magician.
142
00:04:33,716 --> 00:04:35,483
Although, that would be cool.
143
00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:36,484
I think I need a wrench.
144
00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:37,519
Can you at least
drop me off a wrench?
145
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:38,620
You know, I'll do you
one better.
146
00:04:38,621 --> 00:04:40,522
You got the keys to my place
grab my tools and put the crib
147
00:04:40,523 --> 00:04:41,556
together yourself!
148
00:04:41,557 --> 00:04:42,724
That's one better?
149
00:04:42,725 --> 00:04:43,592
Fine.
150
00:04:43,593 --> 00:04:44,226
I'll talk to you later.
151
00:04:44,227 --> 00:04:46,760
Wait, Rose!
152
00:04:46,761 --> 00:04:47,695
The tools are heavy.
153
00:04:47,696 --> 00:04:48,929
So don't drop 'em.
154
00:04:48,930 --> 00:04:51,498
You bust that little liquid thing
on the level and it's toast.
155
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:52,933
And yes.
156
00:04:52,934 --> 00:04:54,435
I will pick up some milk.
157
00:04:54,436 --> 00:04:57,871
And yes, some
extra-large condoms.
158
00:04:57,872 --> 00:04:58,939
What?
159
00:04:58,940 --> 00:05:00,907
I guess we don't need them
because you're pregnant...
160
00:05:00,908 --> 00:05:04,310
and I'm drug and disease free.
161
00:05:04,311 --> 00:05:05,345
I love you too.
162
00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:06,045
Buh bye.
163
00:05:06,046 --> 00:05:06,912
What?
164
00:05:08,048 --> 00:05:11,150
Oh, hey I didn't
see you there.
165
00:05:11,151 --> 00:05:13,052
That was just
the ole ball and chain.
166
00:05:13,053 --> 00:05:14,086
So you are married?
167
00:05:14,087 --> 00:05:16,623
Yeah, I just don't admit it
or wear the ring at the bar.
168
00:05:16,624 --> 00:05:18,390
I get fewer tips
being married.
169
00:05:18,391 --> 00:05:20,825
Some people.
170
00:05:20,826 --> 00:05:22,794
Oh and don't even get me
started on mother-in-laws.
171
00:05:24,029 --> 00:05:24,963
You have more than
one mother-in-law?
172
00:05:24,964 --> 00:05:28,734
Yeah, Rose's Dad
is a drag queen.
173
00:05:28,735 --> 00:05:30,935
And such a nag.
174
00:05:30,936 --> 00:05:32,904
I believe you're married.
175
00:05:32,905 --> 00:05:34,805
Look at your shirt.
176
00:05:34,806 --> 00:05:36,140
Yikes.
177
00:05:36,141 --> 00:05:37,575
Somebody's wife dresses him.
178
00:05:38,644 --> 00:05:42,813
Yeah, she sure dresses me.
179
00:05:42,814 --> 00:05:44,815
But I'd like to
see you undressed.
180
00:05:44,816 --> 00:05:46,083
Oh me too.
181
00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:47,385
I mean, I know what I
look like undressed,
182
00:05:47,386 --> 00:05:50,787
but trust me,
you're gonna love it.
183
00:05:53,924 --> 00:05:55,692
Looks like I'm going to be
getting that paid shift off
184
00:05:55,693 --> 00:05:56,559
after all.
185
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:57,394
Extra-marital affair?
186
00:05:57,395 --> 00:05:58,461
Non-marital affair.
187
00:05:58,462 --> 00:05:59,429
Intra-marital?
188
00:05:59,430 --> 00:06:00,397
Pseudo-marital-
189
00:06:01,499 --> 00:06:02,565
We're going to have sex.
190
00:06:04,568 --> 00:06:06,269
Just doing some work.
191
00:06:06,270 --> 00:06:08,036
Oh you work for Facebook now?
192
00:06:08,037 --> 00:06:09,705
Ana won't add me
as a Facebook friend
193
00:06:09,706 --> 00:06:11,540
if she knows that it's me.
194
00:06:11,541 --> 00:06:14,777
So I've created a
fictional teenage profile-
195
00:06:14,778 --> 00:06:16,812
That's completely unethical.
196
00:06:16,813 --> 00:06:18,046
I'm going out with friends.
197
00:06:18,047 --> 00:06:18,880
It's nowhere dangerous.
198
00:06:18,881 --> 00:06:20,215
Please get off my case.
199
00:06:20,216 --> 00:06:21,082
Ouch.
200
00:06:21,083 --> 00:06:22,317
Where did you get
those bruises?
201
00:06:22,318 --> 00:06:25,386
Um, I... jammed
my arm in a vice.
202
00:06:25,387 --> 00:06:26,554
In industrial arts class.
203
00:06:26,555 --> 00:06:28,255
You don't take
industrial arts.
204
00:06:28,256 --> 00:06:29,357
I meant math class.
205
00:06:29,358 --> 00:06:30,291
Is someone hurting you?
206
00:06:30,292 --> 00:06:31,826
Are you hurting yourself?
207
00:06:31,827 --> 00:06:32,993
Over-parent much?
208
00:06:32,994 --> 00:06:34,796
Seriously, how much
Glee do you guys watch?
209
00:06:36,598 --> 00:06:37,665
Our little girl.
210
00:06:37,666 --> 00:06:40,200
So open, so forthcoming.
211
00:06:40,201 --> 00:06:42,736
How exactly do you set up this
fake account so we can become
212
00:06:42,737 --> 00:06:43,737
her friend?
213
00:06:43,738 --> 00:06:44,904
I'll show you.
214
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,407
But I think I should
probably "unlike" Glee.
215
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,142
Yeah.
216
00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:51,211
Having a mistress is awesome.
217
00:06:51,212 --> 00:06:54,613
No dinners, no movies,
no walks in the park.
218
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,649
And I can't be seen
in public with her.
219
00:06:56,650 --> 00:07:00,219
All the benefits of dating an
ugly girl, except she's hot.
220
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,688
You should've gotten
fake married years ago.
221
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:03,456
Yeah I know.
222
00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:05,358
I wasn't ready until now.
223
00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:07,893
If you do that again I will
knock you into next February.
224
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,428
Black History Month?
225
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,862
Okay, I know why you're mad.
226
00:07:10,863 --> 00:07:13,765
But it just fell out of your
bedside drawer, I swear.
227
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:17,869
It's just I had never seen a
double-sided one before-What? No!
228
00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:20,171
You were ogling Zoey's boobs.
229
00:07:20,172 --> 00:07:21,172
Yeah.
230
00:07:21,173 --> 00:07:21,740
Probably.
231
00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:22,707
I'm a boob guy.
232
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:24,809
Or also as it's known - a guy.
233
00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:26,143
I thought you out of all
people would know that.
234
00:07:26,144 --> 00:07:27,478
Wait.
235
00:07:27,479 --> 00:07:28,579
You're an ass man?
236
00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:29,813
Ass person?
237
00:07:29,814 --> 00:07:31,047
Harry.
238
00:07:31,048 --> 00:07:33,450
Never look at
Zoey's boobs again.
239
00:07:33,451 --> 00:07:35,619
That's like saying don't
look directly into the sun.
240
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:37,187
It's impossible.
241
00:07:38,490 --> 00:07:39,956
Good luck not staring
at a set of boobs.
242
00:07:39,957 --> 00:07:41,091
What?
243
00:07:41,092 --> 00:07:41,925
I can totally keep my
eyes off Zoey's boobs.
244
00:07:41,926 --> 00:07:42,625
No problem.
245
00:07:42,626 --> 00:07:43,959
Up here, sport.
246
00:07:45,962 --> 00:07:46,863
Okay.
247
00:07:46,864 --> 00:07:49,131
We need to make this fake
Facebook profile look real.
248
00:07:49,132 --> 00:07:51,467
I hate that you used the
name Megan McGullicutty.
249
00:07:51,468 --> 00:07:52,769
You wouldn't let me
name our child Megan,
250
00:07:52,770 --> 00:07:53,936
so I'm going to get this.
251
00:07:53,937 --> 00:07:55,805
Megan was the biggest
bully in my high school!
252
00:07:55,806 --> 00:07:58,307
She put itching powder
on my Rubik's Cube.
253
00:07:58,308 --> 00:07:59,708
And you can't have Megan
working at the mall.
254
00:07:59,709 --> 00:08:01,510
Ana goes there all the time.
255
00:08:01,511 --> 00:08:03,745
Plus I kinda see her as
more of an entrepreneur.
256
00:08:03,746 --> 00:08:05,480
Maybe she has an
internet start-up?
257
00:08:05,481 --> 00:08:06,715
I think we're ready to launch.
258
00:08:06,716 --> 00:08:07,783
Okay.
259
00:08:07,784 --> 00:08:08,750
Now go to Anastasia's
profile and click
260
00:08:08,751 --> 00:08:11,953
"add friend" and ta da.
261
00:08:11,954 --> 00:08:13,354
Okay.
262
00:08:13,355 --> 00:08:14,355
We just need to
wait to be accepted.
263
00:08:14,356 --> 00:08:15,255
It might take a few days.
264
00:08:16,725 --> 00:08:17,792
She's accepted us.
265
00:08:17,793 --> 00:08:19,760
Our daughter has
finally accepted us.
266
00:08:19,761 --> 00:08:21,962
We can see Ana's
last status update.
267
00:08:21,963 --> 00:08:24,532
"My Mom and Dad both gave
me twenty bucks for lunch.
268
00:08:24,533 --> 00:08:25,933
What idiots."
269
00:08:25,934 --> 00:08:27,935
We're in!
270
00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:32,935
Uh, just doing some
husbandly chores.
271
00:08:32,936 --> 00:08:36,104
One second.
272
00:08:36,105 --> 00:08:37,072
Hey!
273
00:08:39,342 --> 00:08:41,142
I don't normally
have affairs, but um...
274
00:08:42,345 --> 00:08:43,244
I'm ready.
275
00:08:46,483 --> 00:08:48,983
No.
276
00:08:48,984 --> 00:08:51,519
I prefer that she watches.
277
00:08:52,754 --> 00:08:53,855
Do you love her?
278
00:08:53,856 --> 00:08:56,123
We've been fighting so
much lately-Huh. Really.
279
00:08:56,124 --> 00:08:57,024
Oh, no.
280
00:08:57,025 --> 00:08:58,626
I love her so much.
281
00:08:58,627 --> 00:09:00,661
You know, Rose is beautiful.
282
00:09:00,662 --> 00:09:02,096
And smart.
283
00:09:02,097 --> 00:09:03,063
And her eyes.
284
00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:04,731
Oh my God, wow,
do they sparkle.
285
00:09:04,732 --> 00:09:06,232
I just adore my wife.
286
00:09:06,233 --> 00:09:08,835
I love the way you talk to me.
287
00:09:08,836 --> 00:09:10,737
Shall we take this
to the marital bed?
288
00:09:10,738 --> 00:09:13,807
Thought you'd never ask.
289
00:09:13,808 --> 00:09:14,708
Oh, my God!
290
00:09:14,709 --> 00:09:15,775
I'm sorry.
291
00:09:15,776 --> 00:09:16,676
Rose?
292
00:09:16,677 --> 00:09:17,944
What are you doing here?
293
00:09:17,945 --> 00:09:19,746
So early.
294
00:09:19,747 --> 00:09:20,880
Wrench.
295
00:09:20,881 --> 00:09:21,614
Wench?
296
00:09:21,615 --> 00:09:22,448
Wench. Me?
297
00:09:22,449 --> 00:09:23,816
Wrench.
298
00:09:23,817 --> 00:09:25,051
For the crib.
299
00:09:25,052 --> 00:09:26,419
Okay this is not what
it looks like.
300
00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:28,221
It is exactly what
it looks like.
301
00:09:28,222 --> 00:09:30,356
We need to talk about
what this looks like.
302
00:09:30,357 --> 00:09:31,391
I didn't touch your husband.
303
00:09:31,392 --> 00:09:32,158
Husband?
304
00:09:32,159 --> 00:09:34,660
Oh my God... my
pregnant wife...
305
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:37,329
you must think that you are
catching me CHEATING...
306
00:09:37,330 --> 00:09:40,465
on you, my pregnant wife.
307
00:09:40,466 --> 00:09:42,800
Please don't storm
out of the apartment!
308
00:09:42,801 --> 00:09:43,801
Really?
309
00:09:43,802 --> 00:09:44,536
Cheating on me?
310
00:09:44,537 --> 00:09:45,270
Really.
311
00:09:45,271 --> 00:09:45,637
Oh. Yes.
312
00:09:45,638 --> 00:09:46,371
No.
313
00:09:46,372 --> 00:09:48,006
Yes.
314
00:09:48,007 --> 00:09:49,207
Hmm.
315
00:09:49,208 --> 00:09:50,308
Seriously, you want
me to play this game?
316
00:09:50,309 --> 00:09:52,076
With everything we have to do.
317
00:09:52,077 --> 00:09:53,511
I mean, paint the baby's room.
318
00:09:53,512 --> 00:09:54,245
Shelves.
319
00:09:54,246 --> 00:09:55,446
Crib.
320
00:09:55,447 --> 00:09:57,448
Honestly, Harry I need
your help right now.
321
00:09:57,449 --> 00:09:59,116
And maybe you'd have
more time for me if
322
00:09:59,117 --> 00:10:01,352
you weren't trying to bed
every whore in the bar.
323
00:10:01,353 --> 00:10:02,619
Whore.
324
00:10:02,620 --> 00:10:06,090
That's my favorite stein-I
mean that's our favorite...
325
00:10:06,091 --> 00:10:08,224
I mean, honey!
326
00:10:08,225 --> 00:10:09,325
You're not being reasonable.
327
00:10:14,231 --> 00:10:15,098
Okay.
328
00:10:15,099 --> 00:10:16,599
You're not going after her?
329
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,334
Of course.
330
00:10:18,335 --> 00:10:20,270
I must go after her!
331
00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:23,139
This is definitely
not happening?
332
00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:24,173
No.
333
00:10:24,174 --> 00:10:25,374
Ok, you might want
to go out the back
334
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:27,142
to avoid the messy scene
that will no doubt occur
335
00:10:27,143 --> 00:10:30,079
when I confront my angry wife.
336
00:10:38,955 --> 00:10:41,021
Hello, Downton Abbey.
337
00:10:42,324 --> 00:10:43,224
Oh!
338
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:44,092
And? And?
339
00:10:44,093 --> 00:10:44,959
Oh!
340
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:45,859
Alright!
341
00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:48,463
Hey Mish, have you seen
my bags of top soil?
342
00:10:48,464 --> 00:10:51,566
I used them to turn our hot tub-
Kiddie pool... into a mud bath!
343
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:52,633
It's very soothing.
344
00:10:52,634 --> 00:10:55,736
Oh man, I forgot my
loofah sponge outside.
345
00:10:55,737 --> 00:10:59,206
Nice farmer's lesbian
daughter vibe going on, Zoey.
346
00:10:59,207 --> 00:11:00,140
You look great.
347
00:11:00,141 --> 00:11:02,742
This old thing?
348
00:11:02,743 --> 00:11:05,078
Oh, right.
349
00:11:05,079 --> 00:11:06,879
You look dirty.
350
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:07,814
In a bad way.
351
00:11:07,815 --> 00:11:09,216
I mean not bad-sexy.
352
00:11:09,217 --> 00:11:10,049
Just bad.
353
00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:10,750
Ugly.
354
00:11:10,751 --> 00:11:13,986
You look bad in that.
355
00:11:13,987 --> 00:11:16,188
Enjoy the gardening, Zoey.
356
00:11:16,189 --> 00:11:17,423
Well, not likely.
357
00:11:17,424 --> 00:11:20,526
Huh.
358
00:11:20,527 --> 00:11:22,661
The flower snobs took down
my heirloom tomatoes.
359
00:11:22,662 --> 00:11:23,762
Mmm-hmm.
360
00:11:23,763 --> 00:11:25,231
You're right, I really
shouldn't let it bother me.
361
00:11:25,232 --> 00:11:25,931
Well, okay.
362
00:11:25,932 --> 00:11:27,733
Thanks, Harry.
363
00:11:27,734 --> 00:11:30,135
I am going to move to the
South Side Community garden.
364
00:11:30,136 --> 00:11:31,236
They're so much
more welcoming.
365
00:11:31,237 --> 00:11:33,638
You know what, you're
such a great listener.
366
00:11:33,639 --> 00:11:35,840
I really get what
women see in you.
367
00:11:35,841 --> 00:11:37,408
He's got it all figured out.
368
00:11:38,977 --> 00:11:40,278
Don't be so sarcastic.
369
00:11:40,279 --> 00:11:41,979
He actually looks at me
when he talks to me.
370
00:11:41,980 --> 00:11:44,515
Maybe you should take
a page from his book.
371
00:11:44,516 --> 00:11:46,216
Never mind.
372
00:11:46,217 --> 00:11:47,151
Bye, honey.
373
00:11:47,152 --> 00:11:49,219
Bye.
374
00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:52,922
This is great.
375
00:11:52,923 --> 00:11:54,525
Anastasia updates every
moment of her life!
376
00:11:54,526 --> 00:11:56,260
Wait a second, this
is her latest status:
377
00:11:56,261 --> 00:11:58,529
"Skipping Algebra
for a long lunch"
378
00:11:58,530 --> 00:12:00,329
and then she checked
in at the mall!
379
00:12:00,330 --> 00:12:03,232
There's a reception
desk at the mall?
380
00:12:03,233 --> 00:12:05,868
"While skipping school
seems like fun,"
381
00:12:05,869 --> 00:12:08,404
you don't want to risk
getting poor grades
382
00:12:08,405 --> 00:12:12,708
"or blowing future career
opportunities LOL."
383
00:12:12,709 --> 00:12:13,776
Wait don't write on there!
384
00:12:13,777 --> 00:12:14,977
We're just using this
to spy on her.
385
00:12:14,978 --> 00:12:16,011
Are you kidding me?
386
00:12:16,012 --> 00:12:17,011
This is perfect.
387
00:12:17,012 --> 00:12:19,214
She'll actually respect
our opinion now.
388
00:12:19,215 --> 00:12:20,382
We're her peer.
389
00:12:20,383 --> 00:12:22,617
We're just like Harry...
without being idiots.
390
00:12:22,618 --> 00:12:23,451
Wait.
391
00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:25,220
Look at that picture,
what she's wearing!
392
00:12:25,221 --> 00:12:26,254
We have to do something.
393
00:12:26,255 --> 00:12:29,324
"In the future, you may not want
to wear such a short skirt.
394
00:12:29,325 --> 00:12:30,292
It makes you look
like a harlot."
395
00:12:30,293 --> 00:12:31,359
A harlot?
396
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:32,859
Quick, you've got to say
something more teenager-ish!
397
00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:34,228
Skank!
398
00:12:34,229 --> 00:12:34,795
"Skank!"
399
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:35,729
Good.
400
00:12:35,730 --> 00:12:36,730
And nice job with
the fake typos.
401
00:12:36,731 --> 00:12:38,499
It's going to make Megan look
like a believable teenager.
402
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:40,367
Right, fake typos.
403
00:12:40,368 --> 00:12:41,402
Ana plays dodgeball.
404
00:12:41,403 --> 00:12:43,537
That's where she got
her bruises from!
405
00:12:43,538 --> 00:12:44,538
Dodgeball?
406
00:12:44,539 --> 00:12:46,473
We should be playing in the
father and daughter league.
407
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:48,541
Secrets are destroying
this family.
408
00:12:48,542 --> 00:12:49,409
I know.
409
00:12:49,410 --> 00:12:50,310
Don't forget to log off.
410
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,244
And clear the browser history.
411
00:12:51,245 --> 00:12:53,680
Always clear the browser.
412
00:12:53,681 --> 00:12:56,148
I do not watch pornography.
413
00:13:10,896 --> 00:13:11,863
What can I get for you?
414
00:13:11,864 --> 00:13:14,666
How about a willing participant
in the raising of his child.
415
00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:16,368
Do you want fries with that?
416
00:13:16,369 --> 00:13:17,936
Come on, I'm sorry.
417
00:13:17,937 --> 00:13:18,903
Oh great.
418
00:13:18,904 --> 00:13:20,004
Michelle?
419
00:13:20,005 --> 00:13:20,904
You're making me look bad.
420
00:13:20,905 --> 00:13:22,406
I think that's the pant suit.
421
00:13:23,875 --> 00:13:26,277
Just stop being Zoey's
sounding board
422
00:13:26,278 --> 00:13:27,978
and go back to
objectifying my wife!
423
00:13:27,979 --> 00:13:29,012
Alright?
424
00:13:29,013 --> 00:13:30,814
You are screwing
up my marriage.
425
00:13:31,950 --> 00:13:32,983
Duck and cover.
426
00:13:34,419 --> 00:13:36,153
I can't let my mistress
learn that my baby mama
427
00:13:36,154 --> 00:13:37,621
isn't also my wife.
428
00:13:37,622 --> 00:13:39,356
Rose, fill her in.
429
00:13:43,161 --> 00:13:44,427
I told my wife
we're just friends.
430
00:13:44,428 --> 00:13:45,395
She bought it.
431
00:13:45,396 --> 00:13:46,429
So when are we hooking up?
432
00:13:46,430 --> 00:13:48,031
Did you put the crib
together for your wife?
433
00:13:48,032 --> 00:13:48,966
Paint the baby's room?
434
00:13:48,967 --> 00:13:50,667
Put up the shelves?
435
00:13:50,668 --> 00:13:51,802
No.
436
00:13:51,803 --> 00:13:52,969
If you aren't telling
her she's beautiful
437
00:13:52,970 --> 00:13:55,004
every now and then, she's gonna
leave you for someone who is.
438
00:13:55,005 --> 00:13:55,872
Hey.
439
00:13:55,873 --> 00:13:56,605
Lay off him.
440
00:13:56,606 --> 00:13:57,706
Marriage is not easy.
441
00:13:57,707 --> 00:13:59,075
You have no idea how hard
a woman has to work
442
00:13:59,076 --> 00:14:00,609
just to keep her wife happy.
443
00:14:01,645 --> 00:14:04,013
He should be
treating you better.
444
00:14:05,649 --> 00:14:06,983
I like that wench.
445
00:14:06,984 --> 00:14:08,151
Gotta hand it to her.
446
00:14:08,152 --> 00:14:09,117
She won't wreck a home
unless it's built
447
00:14:09,118 --> 00:14:10,385
on a solid foundation.
448
00:14:12,321 --> 00:14:12,888
Harry.
449
00:14:12,889 --> 00:14:14,156
We need to talk.
450
00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:15,723
Hello?
451
00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:16,792
Yeah.
452
00:14:16,793 --> 00:14:18,260
Anastasia's been bullied?
453
00:14:18,261 --> 00:14:21,129
Are you sure that you don't
mean that she bullied someone?
454
00:14:22,265 --> 00:14:23,464
Okay.
455
00:14:23,465 --> 00:14:26,500
Can we please put your
minor, petty issues on hold?
456
00:14:26,501 --> 00:14:28,803
Anastasia's in trouble.
457
00:14:33,894 --> 00:14:37,364
Okay, before we get started,
Who are all
458
00:14:37,365 --> 00:14:38,398
you people?
459
00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:41,134
I'm Anastasia's father... ish.
460
00:14:41,135 --> 00:14:42,769
Sperm donor father.
461
00:14:42,770 --> 00:14:45,772
As the friend of a former
bully, I know the mindset.
462
00:14:45,773 --> 00:14:46,839
I'm here for Anastasia too.
463
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,208
I do work with at-risk teens,
and I have been through
464
00:14:49,209 --> 00:14:51,543
the bullying and the
trauma of coming out.
465
00:14:51,544 --> 00:14:52,478
It was more of a
"Confirming Assumptions"
466
00:14:52,479 --> 00:14:54,347
than a "Coming out,"
though, right?
467
00:14:54,348 --> 00:14:56,415
My kid will be
Anastasia's half-sibling.
468
00:14:56,416 --> 00:14:58,217
We are not a couple.
469
00:14:58,218 --> 00:14:59,785
I get nothing from him.
470
00:14:59,786 --> 00:15:01,520
Let's get back to Anastasia.
471
00:15:01,521 --> 00:15:03,021
I don't want this
to be a big deal.
472
00:15:04,590 --> 00:15:06,224
Which is why I
didn't call them.
473
00:15:06,225 --> 00:15:07,392
How did you know I was here?
474
00:15:07,393 --> 00:15:08,460
Your status said
that you were bullied.
475
00:15:09,528 --> 00:15:10,161
Status?
476
00:15:10,162 --> 00:15:11,096
Like online?
477
00:15:11,097 --> 00:15:12,063
Ummm, what?
478
00:15:12,064 --> 00:15:13,131
No.
479
00:15:13,132 --> 00:15:16,868
Harry sent your "status"
by message on
480
00:15:16,869 --> 00:15:18,769
the old reliable telephone.
481
00:15:18,770 --> 00:15:20,037
Status, on line?
482
00:15:20,038 --> 00:15:21,038
What's that?
483
00:15:21,039 --> 00:15:23,474
Some sort of tweeter thing?
484
00:15:23,475 --> 00:15:24,509
Why did you tell them, Harry?
485
00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:26,176
They're going to blow
this out of proportion.
486
00:15:26,177 --> 00:15:27,277
No we won't.
487
00:15:27,278 --> 00:15:28,779
We want the police involved!
488
00:15:28,780 --> 00:15:30,815
Our daughter doesn't
deserve to be bullied.
489
00:15:30,816 --> 00:15:33,751
Especially by those two little
monsters sitting outside.
490
00:15:33,752 --> 00:15:34,818
No. No.
491
00:15:34,819 --> 00:15:35,952
Those girls reported
the cyber-bullying.
492
00:15:35,953 --> 00:15:37,253
Oh.
493
00:15:37,254 --> 00:15:40,356
What lovely young women.
494
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:42,993
Cyber-bullying is a
very serious matter.
495
00:15:42,994 --> 00:15:45,028
And as a child psychologist...
496
00:15:45,029 --> 00:15:46,329
Don't worry.
497
00:15:46,330 --> 00:15:48,532
Megan McGullicutty
will be held responsible.
498
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,033
Great.
499
00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:54,169
Are we sure they aren't just
harmless words on a screen?
500
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:55,303
How could you say that?
501
00:15:55,304 --> 00:15:56,405
Look what it's doing
to your daughter.
502
00:15:56,406 --> 00:15:59,508
Let's take a look at
Megan's comments.
503
00:15:59,509 --> 00:16:05,347
And I'm bleeping
here-"Bleep your blouse.
504
00:16:05,348 --> 00:16:08,750
And I don't like
that skirt you whore."
505
00:16:08,751 --> 00:16:11,118
That doesn't sound like Megan.
506
00:16:11,119 --> 00:16:13,621
Or like a Megan.
507
00:16:13,622 --> 00:16:15,356
Let me see that.
508
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,694
Ohh.
509
00:16:19,695 --> 00:16:25,899
Clearly, Megan's husband meant
to write, "Tuck your blouse".
510
00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:29,169
And "I don't like
that skirt you wore."
511
00:16:29,170 --> 00:16:32,906
Obvious typos... that any
believable fifteen year old girl
512
00:16:32,907 --> 00:16:34,107
would make.
513
00:16:34,108 --> 00:16:35,776
We'd like to talk to
our daughter in private.
514
00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:36,777
Excuse us.
515
00:16:40,246 --> 00:16:42,648
Darling, cyber-bullying
is damaging, no question.
516
00:16:42,649 --> 00:16:44,083
But bullies are people too.
517
00:16:44,084 --> 00:16:46,018
And I'm sure that if
Megan could go back in time
518
00:16:46,019 --> 00:16:47,820
and undo what she did,
she would.
519
00:16:47,821 --> 00:16:50,456
Unfortunately, there's no
white out on the internet.
520
00:16:50,457 --> 00:16:51,657
So you're taking
the bully's side?
521
00:16:51,658 --> 00:16:52,825
Alleged bully.
522
00:16:52,826 --> 00:16:54,293
I'm sure that Megan would
go back and say-
523
00:16:54,294 --> 00:16:58,063
Wait, where did you
get those bruises?
524
00:17:00,132 --> 00:17:02,433
I just wish when I was
your age I had someone
525
00:17:02,434 --> 00:17:04,435
tell me that it was okay
to be myself.
526
00:17:04,436 --> 00:17:07,538
That once you get out of here,
people won't judge you,
527
00:17:07,539 --> 00:17:08,640
just cause of
the way you look.
528
00:17:08,641 --> 00:17:10,374
Or your sexual orientation.
529
00:17:10,375 --> 00:17:11,575
We're not gay, you know.
530
00:17:11,576 --> 00:17:12,542
You don't have to lie to me.
531
00:17:12,543 --> 00:17:13,777
Or yourself.
532
00:17:13,778 --> 00:17:14,845
Not anymore.
533
00:17:14,846 --> 00:17:17,380
Just know that...
It gets better.
534
00:17:17,381 --> 00:17:18,849
Hey.
535
00:17:18,850 --> 00:17:20,383
It gets better.
536
00:17:23,622 --> 00:17:26,056
"Are you ready for intimacy?"
537
00:17:26,057 --> 00:17:27,256
Huh, now I have a question.
538
00:17:27,257 --> 00:17:28,524
Do you think that it's wrong
539
00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:29,792
for someone to be in
a sexual relationship
540
00:17:29,793 --> 00:17:32,862
if it negatively affects other
relationships in their lives?
541
00:17:32,863 --> 00:17:34,430
Look, I'm a high school
guidance counselor...
542
00:17:34,431 --> 00:17:36,165
Oh I have a question.
543
00:17:36,166 --> 00:17:38,467
Can she tell me how to
spend my spare time?
544
00:17:38,468 --> 00:17:40,369
Cause last time I checked,
it's my life.
545
00:17:40,370 --> 00:17:41,570
"You've got choices!"
546
00:17:41,571 --> 00:17:44,940
Huh, so does this mean that
I can choose to disapprove
547
00:17:44,941 --> 00:17:45,774
of his terrible choices?
548
00:17:45,775 --> 00:17:46,742
Is there one here on nagging?
549
00:17:46,743 --> 00:17:49,011
Because nagging...
huge problem for me.
550
00:17:49,012 --> 00:17:51,113
Listen, you're free to
have whatever demented
551
00:17:51,114 --> 00:17:52,380
relationships you want.
552
00:17:52,381 --> 00:17:54,650
But do not make me a pawn
in your juvenile games.
553
00:17:54,651 --> 00:17:55,416
Demented?
554
00:17:55,417 --> 00:17:56,484
Juvenile?
555
00:17:56,485 --> 00:17:57,786
Haha.
556
00:17:57,787 --> 00:17:59,586
Okay, I am just
pretending to be married
557
00:17:59,587 --> 00:18:01,321
so that I can have
a fake affair.
558
00:18:01,322 --> 00:18:02,657
Do you see what I'm
dealing with here?
559
00:18:02,658 --> 00:18:03,958
Ahh, I really
think we should...
560
00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:05,059
Oh dear God if you
pick up that pamphlet
561
00:18:05,060 --> 00:18:07,261
on unplanned pregnancy,
you are dead.
562
00:18:07,262 --> 00:18:08,062
Uh oh.
563
00:18:08,063 --> 00:18:08,829
Uh oh!
564
00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:11,032
Oh could you this is...
565
00:18:11,033 --> 00:18:12,199
I'm just reading it!
566
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,167
I'm reading it.
567
00:18:13,168 --> 00:18:14,501
This is what I
deal with every day.
568
00:18:14,502 --> 00:18:17,871
I mean, sure, civil unions
were a big win for us.
569
00:18:17,872 --> 00:18:21,041
But when your wife keeps nagging
you about not noticing her...
570
00:18:21,042 --> 00:18:22,876
I mean enough already, right?
571
00:18:22,877 --> 00:18:24,010
We're not gay.
572
00:18:24,011 --> 00:18:25,745
And don't get me started on
the whole sperm donor thing.
573
00:18:25,746 --> 00:18:28,314
Oh, to be back in high school.
574
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:29,683
It gets worse.
575
00:18:29,684 --> 00:18:31,616
It gets much worse.
576
00:18:32,852 --> 00:18:34,219
Look! Look!
577
00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:35,387
Bruises!
578
00:18:35,388 --> 00:18:36,621
There's some real bulllying
to be dealt with!
579
00:18:36,622 --> 00:18:37,489
Those are hickeys!
580
00:18:37,490 --> 00:18:38,957
I can spot them a mile away.
581
00:18:38,958 --> 00:18:40,959
I thought your profile
said you broke up with.
582
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,527
"Sucky Bucky" Denton
a week ago.
583
00:18:42,528 --> 00:18:43,528
Sucky Bucky?
584
00:18:43,529 --> 00:18:45,564
Wait... you two are
Facebook friends?
585
00:18:45,565 --> 00:18:46,065
Yep.
586
00:18:46,066 --> 00:18:47,264
All of you!?
587
00:18:47,265 --> 00:18:50,068
Those girls told the teacher
I was being cyber-bullied.
588
00:18:50,069 --> 00:18:51,069
I thought I was going to
get to go home early.
589
00:18:51,070 --> 00:18:52,870
I didn't feel
bullied in any way.
590
00:18:52,871 --> 00:18:55,439
Until you all showed up.
591
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:56,440
Not you three.
592
00:18:56,441 --> 00:18:58,442
So if there's no
bullying going on,
593
00:18:58,443 --> 00:19:00,277
then clearly we're
out of here.
594
00:19:00,278 --> 00:19:01,345
We all learned a lesson.
595
00:19:01,346 --> 00:19:02,413
What lesson is that?
596
00:19:02,414 --> 00:19:03,980
Well, if you tell someone
the lesson you learned,
597
00:19:03,981 --> 00:19:05,048
it won't come true.
598
00:19:05,049 --> 00:19:06,282
Anastasia wants to
drop the whole matter,
599
00:19:06,283 --> 00:19:09,186
and we wholeheartedly
support her.
600
00:19:13,124 --> 00:19:14,357
We better get out of here.
601
00:19:14,358 --> 00:19:16,459
Jenny and Sara over there are
thinking of filing a grievance.
602
00:19:16,460 --> 00:19:17,694
And do not tell them my name.
603
00:19:17,695 --> 00:19:18,761
You owe me.
604
00:19:18,762 --> 00:19:19,762
For what?
605
00:19:19,763 --> 00:19:20,830
Zoey is pissed at me, Harry.
606
00:19:20,831 --> 00:19:22,898
Why did you have to go and
listen to all of her problems?
607
00:19:22,899 --> 00:19:24,100
Now I look like the jackass.
608
00:19:24,101 --> 00:19:25,367
Okay, if you really want
me to go back to
609
00:19:25,368 --> 00:19:27,002
staring at your wife's
boobs and treating her
610
00:19:27,003 --> 00:19:29,138
like an object,
then I'll do that for you.
611
00:19:29,139 --> 00:19:31,373
I haven't been listening to
anything that she's said, have I?
612
00:19:31,374 --> 00:19:32,241
Nope.
613
00:19:32,242 --> 00:19:33,308
Not to anyone, really.
614
00:19:33,309 --> 00:19:35,576
Thanks, Harry.
615
00:19:35,577 --> 00:19:36,544
Wait!
616
00:19:36,545 --> 00:19:37,946
Did I just fall
for your eye-gazing?
617
00:19:37,947 --> 00:19:39,513
Yeah, I've been
looking at your eyes.
618
00:19:39,514 --> 00:19:41,582
I can go back to
look at all boobs?
619
00:19:41,583 --> 00:19:43,351
Including yours?
620
00:19:43,352 --> 00:19:44,485
You really want to
look at my boobs?
621
00:19:44,486 --> 00:19:45,486
Oh yeah.
622
00:19:45,487 --> 00:19:47,188
I mean, black, white.
623
00:19:47,189 --> 00:19:48,322
Gay, straight.
624
00:19:48,323 --> 00:19:49,523
Nun, atheist.
625
00:19:49,524 --> 00:19:51,391
I mean, I don't discriminate.
626
00:19:51,392 --> 00:19:52,726
My stares are fair.
627
00:19:52,727 --> 00:19:55,395
Boobs, well they're
all equal in my eyes.
628
00:19:55,396 --> 00:19:56,363
Yeah.
629
00:19:56,364 --> 00:19:58,331
This feels right.
630
00:19:58,332 --> 00:20:01,235
No.
631
00:20:01,236 --> 00:20:02,770
Okay, so we'll just
file a report
632
00:20:02,771 --> 00:20:04,704
with the police and
this will be behind us.
633
00:20:04,705 --> 00:20:06,140
The police?
634
00:20:06,141 --> 00:20:08,007
The school has a zero-tolerance
policy for bullying.
635
00:20:08,008 --> 00:20:09,341
The perpetrator
must be dealt with.
636
00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:12,678
Fantastic.
637
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:13,646
Thank you.
638
00:20:15,883 --> 00:20:17,150
I know we're not a couple,
but I kind of thought
639
00:20:17,151 --> 00:20:18,184
we'd be a team.
640
00:20:18,185 --> 00:20:19,252
Yeah.
641
00:20:19,253 --> 00:20:21,353
My fake mistress made it clear I
haven't been very supportive.
642
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:23,388
I'm going to be a
better fake husband
643
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,423
and sort of a real father.
644
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:29,661
Because being a real
friend - it's important.
645
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:30,695
I appreciate that, Harry.
646
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:31,863
I do.
647
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:33,665
And I'm staying away
from my Moby-Dick.
648
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:34,800
It's probably for the best.
649
00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:36,001
That white whale would've
swallowed you whole.
650
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:37,248
Yeah.
651
00:20:37,909 --> 00:20:39,076
This wasn't Harry's fault.
652
00:20:39,077 --> 00:20:40,643
Okay, this was my fault.
653
00:20:40,644 --> 00:20:43,247
I want you to know that
you do not go unnoticed.
654
00:20:43,248 --> 00:20:44,147
Thank you.
655
00:20:44,148 --> 00:20:45,015
That's really sweet.
656
00:20:48,385 --> 00:20:49,718
So, how was your day?
657
00:20:52,322 --> 00:20:53,856
Um, sorry, what?
658
00:20:55,191 --> 00:20:57,392
So you promised a woman
who you aren't dating
659
00:20:57,393 --> 00:20:58,793
that you wouldn't
sleep with me?
660
00:20:58,794 --> 00:20:59,627
Yes.
661
00:20:59,628 --> 00:21:00,561
No illicit affairs for me.
662
00:21:00,562 --> 00:21:01,596
Or even licit ones.
663
00:21:01,597 --> 00:21:03,231
Whatever we had must
never happen again.
664
00:21:03,232 --> 00:21:04,432
And you're hoping
that by saying this,
665
00:21:04,433 --> 00:21:06,467
you'll become forbidden fruit and
I'll want to sleep with you?
666
00:21:06,468 --> 00:21:07,369
No.
667
00:21:07,370 --> 00:21:08,036
Maybe.
668
00:21:08,037 --> 00:21:09,004
Yes.
669
00:21:10,405 --> 00:21:12,106
Yes, I created an account and
670
00:21:12,107 --> 00:21:14,308
pretended to be
a 15-year-old girl.
671
00:21:14,309 --> 00:21:19,546
And yes, I befriended many
teenagers, but only so that
672
00:21:19,547 --> 00:21:22,416
another 15-year-old girl
would be my friend online!
673
00:21:22,417 --> 00:21:25,319
Wait, that sounds bad.
674
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:29,322
Um, the girl I wanted to
befriend is my daughter!
675
00:21:29,323 --> 00:21:32,191
Well, not my
biological daughter.
676
00:21:32,192 --> 00:21:35,261
Okay, as a lawyer,
I'm going to stop myself...
677
00:21:36,363 --> 00:21:38,697
I'd like to add that this
was all my wife's idea.
678
00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:40,015
OW!
679
00:21:40,016 --> 00:21:42,976
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