1
00:00:01,417 --> 00:00:02,350
Billy!
2
00:00:02,351 --> 00:00:04,252
Want to go for a ride
on my new motorcycle?
3
00:00:04,253 --> 00:00:05,687
I don't have to ride the bus
4
00:00:05,688 --> 00:00:07,421
with losers anymore.
5
00:00:07,422 --> 00:00:10,957
Not that you're a loser
for riding the bus.
6
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No way Billy
gets on that bike.
7
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Well, we're going to be
8
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jumping through fiery hoops.
9
00:00:14,596 --> 00:00:15,796
Billy doesn't like
macho stuff
10
00:00:15,797 --> 00:00:17,298
like motorcycles, or guns,
11
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or refined sugar.
12
00:00:18,900 --> 00:00:19,833
C'mon. What nine-year-old
13
00:00:19,834 --> 00:00:21,068
doesn't love motorcycles?
14
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Billy just prefers non
life-threatening activities.
15
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Like scrap-booking.
16
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Scrap-booking.
17
00:00:24,938 --> 00:00:26,038
Huh-huh.
18
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Will be life-threatening
when the kids in
19
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school find out.
20
00:00:28,742 --> 00:00:31,477
Scrap-booking is
gayer than gay.
21
00:00:31,478 --> 00:00:33,746
Not gay in the bad way.
22
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Gay in the...
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very gay way.
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It's the perfect hobby.
25
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Plus the class we're
enrolling him in
26
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is once a week.
27
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And it's cheap.
28
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Easy parenting.
29
00:00:43,823 --> 00:00:45,457
But we're doing it
because it's creative,
30
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and self-actualizing,
and safe.
31
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Now that he's lost
his taste for glue.
32
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Okay. If Billy really wants
to do scrap-booking,
33
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I will enroll him
and take him
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to classes myself.
35
00:00:54,634 --> 00:00:56,768
Because there is no way
a nine-year-old boy
36
00:00:56,769 --> 00:00:58,336
wants to do scrapbooking-
37
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Only one more sleep
'til scrap-booking!
38
00:01:02,908 --> 00:01:06,644
We're a-hundred-percent
sure he's mine?
39
00:01:08,714 --> 00:01:10,514
I used to give, give, give.
40
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I gave to these two ladies.
41
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That's my boy.
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Oh, and I'm also their donor.
43
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That's kind of my daughter,
huh huh huh.
44
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And she's a little bit pregnant
with my baby too.
45
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I'm Harry, but the kids,
they call me dad.
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Sync & corrections by No1
www.addic7ed.Com
47
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Come on.
48
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Isn't this unbearably cute?
49
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Tell pageant mom she's
making me feel stabby.
50
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Once she gets to
know the real me,
51
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we will be good friends.
52
00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:44,712
Rose and Irene.
53
00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:46,214
Buddying together.
54
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Lingerie shopping,
giving each other massages-
55
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:50,919
Oh, your concept of
women's friendships
56
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,954
is entirely based
on porn, isn't it?
57
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Like you don't have pillow
fights with your friends.
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Or do naughty things in
vans to pay for college.
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00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:03,264
Friendships between women
are about sharing.
60
00:02:03,265 --> 00:02:05,766
It's nice to have someone
to share your secrets with.
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00:02:05,767 --> 00:02:06,767
Secrets?
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00:02:08,369 --> 00:02:09,904
She's not going to
tell you any secrets.
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You guys aren't
going to be friends.
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00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,572
You have nothing in common.
65
00:02:23,550 --> 00:02:24,250
Bonding?
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00:02:24,251 --> 00:02:25,285
That's not possible.
67
00:02:25,286 --> 00:02:26,352
You two have
nothing in common.
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00:02:26,353 --> 00:02:27,620
We both like Maldoveena.
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00:02:27,621 --> 00:02:28,487
Shoes.
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00:02:28,488 --> 00:02:29,455
You bonded over shoes?
71
00:02:29,456 --> 00:02:30,489
What a cliché.
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Not shoes.
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00:02:31,691 --> 00:02:33,292
Birth control pills.
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00:02:33,293 --> 00:02:34,459
Same ones I used to use!
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00:02:34,460 --> 00:02:36,195
They regulated my
hormones so well,
76
00:02:36,196 --> 00:02:37,762
I practically forgot
I was a woman.
77
00:02:37,763 --> 00:02:40,532
I miss them.
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00:02:40,533 --> 00:02:41,533
See?
79
00:02:41,534 --> 00:02:42,667
We have something in common.
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00:02:42,668 --> 00:02:43,768
Favorite hair removal?
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00:02:43,769 --> 00:02:44,669
Waxing.
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Like there's an alternative.
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I know, right?
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We get along.
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Who knew?
86
00:02:49,708 --> 00:02:50,842
Don't be mean to Rose.
87
00:02:50,843 --> 00:02:52,210
She's so needy, she might
actually believe
88
00:02:52,211 --> 00:02:53,444
that you like her.
89
00:02:53,445 --> 00:02:54,712
I do.
90
00:02:54,713 --> 00:02:56,113
She's charming in
her desperation.
91
00:02:56,114 --> 00:02:57,114
No of fence.
92
00:02:57,115 --> 00:02:58,449
It's cool.
93
00:02:58,450 --> 00:02:59,416
Friends say things like
that about their friends.
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Look at me.
95
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A real girlfriend.
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00:03:01,686 --> 00:03:03,019
This is a bad idea.
97
00:03:03,020 --> 00:03:04,454
She is crazy.
98
00:03:04,455 --> 00:03:06,122
Her?
99
00:03:06,123 --> 00:03:07,523
Yes.
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00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:10,994
Ohmygod!
101
00:03:10,995 --> 00:03:12,795
Harry's gonna take me for a
ride on his new motorcycle!
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Whoa, whoa, whoa.
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I am all for
parentally sanctioned
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00:03:16,334 --> 00:03:17,734
acts of rebellion.
105
00:03:17,735 --> 00:03:20,135
But you are not
riding a motorcycle.
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00:03:20,136 --> 00:03:22,004
You're so unfair.
107
00:03:22,005 --> 00:03:23,873
At least I have
one cool parent.
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Enough about Harry.
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00:03:25,508 --> 00:03:26,608
I meant you.
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Yes, of course, me.
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Yes!
112
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You get how great
this is, right?
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00:03:31,581 --> 00:03:32,814
'Fraid not, kiddo.
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00:03:32,815 --> 00:03:34,783
But I come by my
prejudice honestly.
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00:03:34,784 --> 00:03:37,285
I was in a
motorcycle accident.
116
00:03:37,286 --> 00:03:38,419
That's sick.
117
00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:39,420
Were you hurt?
118
00:03:39,421 --> 00:03:41,356
Some bruising from
the seat belt.
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00:03:41,357 --> 00:03:43,591
I was driving my car when
I hit the motorcycle.
120
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He should not have
been parked behind me.
121
00:03:46,762 --> 00:03:47,962
Well, I'm riding with Harry.
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You set one foot
on that bike,
123
00:03:50,732 --> 00:03:51,798
and we will cut up
your credit card.
124
00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:53,300
Why do you have to
be so horrible?
125
00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:55,735
Because we love you.
126
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:59,940
Harry has gone from being a
nuisance to a real danger.
127
00:03:59,941 --> 00:04:02,109
He is not taking our
daughter on that bike.
128
00:04:02,110 --> 00:04:03,476
There's not much we can do.
129
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,678
And I hate how he
suddenly turned you
130
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:07,980
into the lame Dad.
131
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,815
I didn't mean suddenly.
132
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:14,486
You don't want Rose to be
friends with Irene
133
00:04:14,487 --> 00:04:15,587
'cause Rose is evil?
134
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,555
No, 'cause Rose
won't let me near
135
00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:17,589
the baby if Irene
tells her about
136
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:18,891
the skeletons in my closet.
137
00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:19,892
What kind of skeletons?
138
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:20,759
Dinosaurs?
139
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,594
Figure of speech.
140
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,963
See, Rose is protective of
141
00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:27,232
the new baby,
and I just want a chance
142
00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:28,599
to be able to
hang out with it.
143
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,835
Nine-year-olds
are cooler than babies.
144
00:04:30,836 --> 00:04:32,203
Noted.
145
00:04:32,204 --> 00:04:34,239
I just can't let
Irene and Rose be friends.
146
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:35,807
Two women together
is trouble.
147
00:04:35,808 --> 00:04:37,309
It works for me.
148
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,376
Yeah but your Moms
are different.
149
00:04:39,377 --> 00:04:41,278
Or are they?
150
00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:42,079
Are you scrap-booking
151
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,314
because you want to do it,
152
00:04:43,315 --> 00:04:45,049
or 'cause it's what
your moms want you to do?
153
00:04:45,050 --> 00:04:46,417
There's a difference?
154
00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:48,518
Find your passion!
155
00:04:48,519 --> 00:04:50,387
Sign up for what you want.
156
00:04:50,388 --> 00:04:54,591
Hey, I just saw
what you want.
157
00:04:54,592 --> 00:04:56,426
Let's find out
what she's teaching.
158
00:05:04,268 --> 00:05:05,335
Harry.
159
00:05:05,336 --> 00:05:06,336
Hey.
160
00:05:06,337 --> 00:05:07,337
You're a great guy.
161
00:05:07,338 --> 00:05:08,104
Agreed.
162
00:05:08,105 --> 00:05:08,671
Well, a good guy.
163
00:05:08,672 --> 00:05:09,672
I'll take it.
164
00:05:09,673 --> 00:05:10,873
You're awful for
our daughter.
165
00:05:10,874 --> 00:05:12,107
You can't take her
out on your motorcycle.
166
00:05:12,108 --> 00:05:13,308
If you let her,
she'll think you rock.
167
00:05:13,309 --> 00:05:14,876
You can bask in my coolness.
168
00:05:14,877 --> 00:05:15,743
I'm cool, OK.
169
00:05:15,744 --> 00:05:17,645
I drive a Volvo.
170
00:05:17,646 --> 00:05:19,181
So, what's it going to take
171
00:05:19,182 --> 00:05:21,984
for you to disappear
from our lives?
172
00:05:21,985 --> 00:05:23,918
A little cold hard cash?
173
00:05:23,919 --> 00:05:25,120
You can't just
pay me to leave.
174
00:05:25,121 --> 00:05:26,421
Five thousand dollars-
175
00:05:26,422 --> 00:05:28,622
Deal. Look at those reflexes.
176
00:05:30,859 --> 00:05:33,361
Anastasia must never know.
177
00:05:42,070 --> 00:05:44,837
You took a bribe to
abandon your daughter?
178
00:05:44,838 --> 00:05:45,938
I'm impressed.
179
00:05:45,939 --> 00:05:47,440
I'm not really going
to abandon her.
180
00:05:47,441 --> 00:05:49,542
I'm just taking the cash.
181
00:05:49,543 --> 00:05:51,411
I'm like the
Robin Hood of dads.
182
00:05:51,412 --> 00:05:53,446
If Robin Hood kept
the money for himself.
183
00:05:53,447 --> 00:05:55,048
Exactly.
184
00:05:59,352 --> 00:06:02,121
That motorcycle
is a huge problem.
185
00:06:02,122 --> 00:06:04,923
Now, I know this
might sound extreme,
186
00:06:04,924 --> 00:06:06,858
but what would you
think about offering
187
00:06:06,859 --> 00:06:08,560
Harry money to disappear?
188
00:06:08,561 --> 00:06:09,594
I had the same idea.
189
00:06:09,595 --> 00:06:10,462
I thought we could offer him,
190
00:06:10,463 --> 00:06:12,498
I don't know, six,
seven, Much less!
191
00:06:12,499 --> 00:06:13,298
Eight hundred?
192
00:06:13,299 --> 00:06:14,366
Hundred?
193
00:06:14,367 --> 00:06:17,268
Well, we don't
want to insult him.
194
00:06:17,269 --> 00:06:18,536
We're offering him a bribe.
195
00:06:18,537 --> 00:06:19,770
The insult is built right in.
196
00:06:19,771 --> 00:06:20,905
Yeah, but he's giving up a
197
00:06:20,906 --> 00:06:22,373
relationship with
his biological daughter.
198
00:06:22,374 --> 00:06:23,674
Surely that's
worth something.
199
00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:24,675
What, are you kidding me?
200
00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:25,910
If we offered
him old clothes,
201
00:06:25,911 --> 00:06:28,312
he would probably accept.
202
00:06:28,313 --> 00:06:31,348
A thousand dollars to him is
like ten thousand of our money.
203
00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:33,383
How about just a titch more,
204
00:06:33,384 --> 00:06:36,619
like, I don't know,
five thousand dollars?
205
00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:38,821
If we paid him that
he would think that
206
00:06:38,822 --> 00:06:40,357
we were stupid.
207
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:41,824
I would think
that we were stupid.
208
00:06:41,825 --> 00:06:43,726
I mean, for five
thousand dollars
209
00:06:43,727 --> 00:06:46,463
we could have him killed.
210
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,067
Have you seen this book?
211
00:06:51,068 --> 00:06:52,134
It's frilly, and pink.
212
00:06:52,135 --> 00:06:53,836
For a boy. It's super-gay.
213
00:06:53,837 --> 00:06:55,538
Zoey. Come on,
214
00:06:55,539 --> 00:06:56,639
don't let Harry
brainwash you.
215
00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,007
Oh no,
216
00:06:58,008 --> 00:06:59,809
this is my own
inner wisdom speaking.
217
00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:01,310
Billy! Come down here, honey.
218
00:07:01,311 --> 00:07:03,479
It's time for scrap-booking
with your mom.
219
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,180
The mom who wants you to be yourself.
Why are you wearing that?
220
00:07:09,452 --> 00:07:10,552
I'm a guy, mom.
221
00:07:10,553 --> 00:07:12,220
And scrap-booking's
not for guys.
222
00:07:12,221 --> 00:07:15,857
Harry signed me up
for rhythmic gymnastics.
223
00:07:34,732 --> 00:07:35,965
I am not canceling
rhythmic gymnastics.
224
00:07:35,966 --> 00:07:37,367
I jumped through
a lot of hoops,
225
00:07:37,368 --> 00:07:38,768
to give Billy a
chance to jump
226
00:07:38,769 --> 00:07:40,301
through a lot of hoops.
227
00:07:40,302 --> 00:07:41,470
But his heart was
set on scrap-booking.
228
00:07:41,471 --> 00:07:42,971
I know because
I set it there.
229
00:07:42,972 --> 00:07:45,306
There is something very
freeing about gymnastics.
230
00:07:45,307 --> 00:07:46,441
It's very...
231
00:07:46,442 --> 00:07:47,676
for a boy...
232
00:07:47,677 --> 00:07:48,877
it's very...
233
00:07:48,878 --> 00:07:51,112
It's not as butch as
scrap-booking.
234
00:07:51,113 --> 00:07:52,814
What are you getting
at Michelle?
235
00:07:52,815 --> 00:07:55,083
Look, it's going
to give him strength,
236
00:07:55,084 --> 00:07:57,418
coordination, discipline.
237
00:07:57,419 --> 00:07:58,519
You're not going
to believe this,
238
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,020
but he's the only
boy in the class.
239
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,389
I mean,
he's going to dominate.
240
00:08:01,390 --> 00:08:02,857
He might even
get a date out of it.
241
00:08:04,292 --> 00:08:05,493
He's unitarded.
242
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,429
If you think you
can get out of
243
00:08:08,430 --> 00:08:09,563
taking him to
class every week -
244
00:08:09,564 --> 00:08:10,931
I will take him to
each and every class.
245
00:08:10,932 --> 00:08:12,298
Twice a week.
246
00:08:12,299 --> 00:08:13,633
It's gonna be good guy-time.
247
00:08:13,634 --> 00:08:16,035
He has performance
in his bones.
248
00:08:16,036 --> 00:08:18,337
You know, I joined a
dance group after college.
249
00:08:18,338 --> 00:08:19,572
For two weeks. Please don't-
250
00:08:19,573 --> 00:08:21,140
It was very blue collar.
251
00:08:21,141 --> 00:08:22,942
Very experimental art.
252
00:08:22,943 --> 00:08:25,311
If you're wearing
tassels it's not art.
253
00:08:33,686 --> 00:08:35,186
You have to stop
this ho-mance.
254
00:08:35,187 --> 00:08:36,988
You mean my amazing
friendship with Rose?
255
00:08:36,989 --> 00:08:38,724
Look, If Rose finds out about
256
00:08:38,725 --> 00:08:42,193
all the terrible,
stupid, dangerous,
257
00:08:42,194 --> 00:08:44,261
fun things and
women I've done,
258
00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:45,730
she'll never let
me near that baby.
259
00:08:45,731 --> 00:08:46,964
And you don't
see this as a win?
260
00:08:46,965 --> 00:08:47,899
I should be the one deciding
261
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:48,666
how little I do.
262
00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:49,967
Not her.
263
00:08:49,968 --> 00:08:51,068
You really think I
would tell her your secrets?
264
00:08:51,069 --> 00:08:53,003
Well, you have a big mouth.
265
00:08:53,004 --> 00:08:54,338
You can't keep
anything to yourself,
266
00:08:54,339 --> 00:08:56,974
and you talk
behind peoples' backs.
267
00:08:56,975 --> 00:09:00,644
What? Everyone says
that about you.
268
00:09:00,645 --> 00:09:02,612
Hi. Hi. I have a problem.
269
00:09:02,613 --> 00:09:04,380
You want me back
in Anastasia's life.
270
00:09:04,381 --> 00:09:05,582
No, I have a problem
with how much money
271
00:09:05,583 --> 00:09:06,683
I paid you to stay away.
272
00:09:06,684 --> 00:09:07,918
The amount of the bribe,
273
00:09:07,919 --> 00:09:09,419
that's your moral dilemma?
274
00:09:09,420 --> 00:09:10,353
Janet and I want to pay you
275
00:09:10,354 --> 00:09:11,421
a thousand dollars.
276
00:09:11,422 --> 00:09:12,388
She says I can
write you a cheque
277
00:09:12,389 --> 00:09:13,256
from our joint account.
278
00:09:13,257 --> 00:09:14,223
Okay, I'll take the cheque.
279
00:09:14,224 --> 00:09:15,358
Great.
280
00:09:15,359 --> 00:09:16,459
How could I pass up
another thousand dollars?
281
00:09:16,460 --> 00:09:18,126
No, no, no, no, you give
me the cash;
282
00:09:18,127 --> 00:09:19,294
I give you a cheque.
283
00:09:20,897 --> 00:09:21,697
This is weird.
284
00:09:21,698 --> 00:09:23,031
Okay.
285
00:09:23,032 --> 00:09:24,066
It's almost like
Janet doesn't
286
00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:25,734
know you paid me
the five grand.
287
00:09:25,735 --> 00:09:26,735
She totally knows.
288
00:09:26,736 --> 00:09:28,403
Phew.
289
00:09:28,404 --> 00:09:30,138
You know, why don't
I just go talk to Janet,
290
00:09:30,139 --> 00:09:31,840
I'll sort this
whole thing out?
291
00:09:36,178 --> 00:09:37,311
How do you spell
your last name?
292
00:09:37,312 --> 00:09:38,446
You're not really
good at negotiating,
293
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:39,313
are you?
294
00:09:39,314 --> 00:09:41,215
I'm more of a tax lawyer.
295
00:09:47,622 --> 00:09:48,822
I wanna quit.
296
00:09:48,823 --> 00:09:49,923
No way.
297
00:09:49,924 --> 00:09:50,858
This is a sport.
298
00:09:50,859 --> 00:09:51,692
You got to keep plugging away
299
00:09:51,693 --> 00:09:52,726
until I score.
300
00:09:52,727 --> 00:09:54,027
The teacher's mean.
301
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,028
Lean and mean.
302
00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:56,162
Just a few more classes and
303
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:57,097
we'll be done with gymnasts,
304
00:09:57,098 --> 00:09:58,064
I mean gymnastics.
305
00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,033
Why don't you
practice your ummm...
306
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:02,102
ribbon unfurling?
307
00:10:02,103 --> 00:10:04,103
I'll just do
some scrap-booking.
308
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:08,173
I guess I should
apologize for my son.
309
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:09,709
He's rhythm-challenged.
310
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,043
Oh, he's great.
311
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:12,378
Initially I was against
a boy being in the class
312
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:13,546
but he has a gift.
313
00:10:13,547 --> 00:10:14,847
Really?
314
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:16,816
Well, you must
be a great teacher.
315
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:19,618
We should discuss your
techniques over dinner.
316
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,120
And then we can have sex.
317
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,855
I have a weird
sense of humour.
318
00:10:26,425 --> 00:10:28,092
You're very funny.
319
00:10:28,093 --> 00:10:29,427
Thank you.
320
00:10:37,101 --> 00:10:40,571
Wow, now I get this sport.
321
00:10:40,572 --> 00:10:43,273
That was a ten.
322
00:10:43,274 --> 00:10:44,074
Amazing.
323
00:10:44,075 --> 00:10:45,442
The best.
324
00:10:45,443 --> 00:10:46,911
So, you're comparing
me to other women?
325
00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:47,678
No.
326
00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:49,112
Well, yes, but you win.
327
00:10:49,113 --> 00:10:49,947
Out of how many?
328
00:10:49,948 --> 00:10:51,181
Ummm.
329
00:10:51,182 --> 00:10:52,281
I'm just joking.
330
00:10:53,784 --> 00:10:55,317
That was a good one.
You're very funny.
331
00:10:55,318 --> 00:10:57,086
Thank you.
332
00:10:58,589 --> 00:10:59,522
"When can I go for a ride
333
00:10:59,523 --> 00:11:00,256
on your motorcycle?"
334
00:11:00,257 --> 00:11:01,758
Who's Anastasia?
335
00:11:01,759 --> 00:11:03,426
Oh come on, she's fifteen.
336
00:11:03,427 --> 00:11:03,993
What?
337
00:11:03,994 --> 00:11:05,461
Oh. No no no, I -
338
00:11:05,462 --> 00:11:06,763
I'm kidding.
339
00:11:06,764 --> 00:11:08,030
I don't get possessive
over my boyfriends.
340
00:11:08,031 --> 00:11:09,364
Good. Wait -
341
00:11:09,365 --> 00:11:10,599
You can still
talk to other women.
342
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,834
If they're coworkers
or you're related.
343
00:11:12,835 --> 00:11:14,970
Okay can I just
respond to the text?
344
00:11:18,107 --> 00:11:19,374
You erased the text.
345
00:11:19,375 --> 00:11:20,776
And all my contacts?!
346
00:11:20,777 --> 00:11:21,743
Uh huh.
347
00:11:21,744 --> 00:11:22,811
And if you cheat, disappear,
348
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:24,178
or call the cops,
I will hurt you.
349
00:11:28,717 --> 00:11:31,418
I have this weird
sense of humor, right?
350
00:11:31,419 --> 00:11:34,956
Yes, you're very funny.
351
00:11:34,957 --> 00:11:36,757
What is this, a switchblade?
352
00:11:36,758 --> 00:11:38,459
I only use it on myself.
353
00:11:40,962 --> 00:11:42,528
Maldoveena.
Birth control pills.
354
00:11:42,529 --> 00:11:43,964
Ah, you should
remember to take these.
355
00:11:43,965 --> 00:11:44,898
I'll take them later.
356
00:11:44,899 --> 00:11:46,666
I think you
should take them now.
357
00:11:50,004 --> 00:11:52,105
Hey, is Irene here?
358
00:11:52,106 --> 00:11:53,506
Sorry Rose, she's not
hanging out with you.
359
00:11:53,507 --> 00:11:54,874
Oof. Wrong.
360
00:11:54,875 --> 00:11:56,241
Last night we partied.
361
00:11:56,242 --> 00:11:57,076
Hearty.
362
00:11:57,077 --> 00:11:58,677
People don't do that.
363
00:11:58,678 --> 00:12:00,145
It was totally sick.
364
00:12:00,146 --> 00:12:01,179
I mean, literally.
365
00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:02,347
We both puked.
366
00:12:02,348 --> 00:12:03,582
Morning sickness for me.
367
00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:05,183
And alcohol poisoning
for her.
368
00:12:05,184 --> 00:12:07,486
We held each
other's hair back.
369
00:12:07,487 --> 00:12:09,088
I have a best friend!
370
00:12:09,089 --> 00:12:10,789
So what'd you
guys talk about?
371
00:12:10,790 --> 00:12:12,223
Everything.
372
00:12:12,224 --> 00:12:14,859
I mean we're basically
attached at the hip.
373
00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,494
She tell you about
the Siamese twins?
374
00:12:16,495 --> 00:12:17,161
What?
375
00:12:17,162 --> 00:12:18,029
Nothing.
376
00:12:19,765 --> 00:12:23,001
Did insurance fraud
happen to come up?
377
00:12:23,002 --> 00:12:24,568
Good. Good.
378
00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,470
Cause there was none of that.
379
00:12:26,471 --> 00:12:27,904
You know what's a fun topic?
380
00:12:27,905 --> 00:12:28,805
Burning Man.
381
00:12:28,806 --> 00:12:29,773
Whatever that is.
382
00:12:29,774 --> 00:12:31,608
Hear any stories about that?
383
00:12:31,609 --> 00:12:33,443
Are there things
I should know about?
384
00:12:33,444 --> 00:12:35,445
I am an open book.
Bestseller.
385
00:12:35,446 --> 00:12:38,715
With tons of explosions
and action sequences.
386
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,017
You don't read much, do you?
387
00:12:40,018 --> 00:12:41,451
Irene tell you that?
388
00:12:41,452 --> 00:12:42,719
Conversations between
besties are private.
389
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,288
Look, Irene has
a lying problem.
390
00:12:46,289 --> 00:12:48,423
You can't believe
anything she says.
391
00:12:48,424 --> 00:12:49,959
One time she pretended
to be a doctor
392
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,761
just to sleep with
a male nurse.
393
00:12:51,762 --> 00:12:52,995
You pretended to be a doctor
394
00:12:52,996 --> 00:12:54,030
to try and sleep with me.
395
00:12:54,031 --> 00:12:55,397
I'm a guy, it's realistic
396
00:12:55,398 --> 00:12:56,498
I could be a doctor.
397
00:12:56,499 --> 00:12:58,600
Irene won't care
about your feelings.
398
00:12:58,601 --> 00:12:59,768
She is so self-centered.
399
00:12:59,769 --> 00:13:01,302
She'll talk behind your back.
400
00:13:01,303 --> 00:13:03,705
Someone like that
is not a good person.
401
00:13:03,706 --> 00:13:05,740
Dump her. Now.
402
00:13:08,010 --> 00:13:09,343
Hey, buddy!
403
00:13:09,344 --> 00:13:11,880
Had one of those crash
in the office nights, pal?
404
00:13:11,881 --> 00:13:12,981
You two-faced douche.
405
00:13:12,982 --> 00:13:14,916
Agreed. You're a jerk.
406
00:13:14,917 --> 00:13:16,349
And here, I thought you two
407
00:13:16,350 --> 00:13:19,352
would have nothing in common.
408
00:13:22,557 --> 00:13:25,025
Okay, bye.
409
00:13:25,026 --> 00:13:26,326
Who are you talking to?
410
00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:28,295
Um... Harry.
411
00:13:28,296 --> 00:13:30,197
Harry? But he... Really?
412
00:13:30,198 --> 00:13:31,565
I thought Harry
was snubbing you.
413
00:13:31,566 --> 00:13:32,799
He called you?
414
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:33,866
He's my biological father.
415
00:13:33,867 --> 00:13:35,168
I talk to him all the time.
416
00:13:35,169 --> 00:13:36,202
Unbelievable.
417
00:13:36,203 --> 00:13:37,303
He's not allowed
to talk to you.
418
00:13:37,304 --> 00:13:38,571
What?
419
00:13:38,572 --> 00:13:40,472
Is that why he hasn't
been calling me?
420
00:13:40,473 --> 00:13:41,407
That's great, Jonathan.
421
00:13:41,408 --> 00:13:42,474
Just great.
422
00:13:42,475 --> 00:13:43,642
Yeah but you just
talked to him.
423
00:13:43,643 --> 00:13:44,476
I was lying.
424
00:13:44,477 --> 00:13:45,712
That wasn't Harry,
425
00:13:45,713 --> 00:13:47,446
it was just a boy I was
going to sneak out to see.
426
00:13:47,447 --> 00:13:49,547
Oh...
427
00:13:49,548 --> 00:13:51,616
Have fun.
428
00:13:51,617 --> 00:13:53,151
What did you do?
429
00:13:57,656 --> 00:13:59,057
Why are we meeting here?
430
00:13:59,058 --> 00:14:00,525
We're playing a little
game with your teacher.
431
00:14:00,526 --> 00:14:01,626
We hide, and she calls me
432
00:14:01,627 --> 00:14:03,294
fifty times an hour.
433
00:14:03,295 --> 00:14:04,929
She didn't follow
you did she?
434
00:14:04,930 --> 00:14:06,363
No, but a girl in the
French club
435
00:14:06,364 --> 00:14:07,798
made fun of me. I think.
436
00:14:07,799 --> 00:14:09,299
Well, the important thing
is we're both safe now.
437
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:10,234
And we never have to go to
438
00:14:10,235 --> 00:14:11,535
rhythmic gymnastics
class again.
439
00:14:11,536 --> 00:14:12,770
What?
440
00:14:12,771 --> 00:14:14,805
I thought about it,
if you want out,
441
00:14:14,806 --> 00:14:15,906
we're out.
442
00:14:15,907 --> 00:14:17,875
I'm here to support you!
443
00:14:17,876 --> 00:14:20,009
That teacher,
she's bad for us-you.
444
00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:22,345
That teacher's hard
on me 'cause I'm gifted.
445
00:14:22,346 --> 00:14:23,312
She told you that?
446
00:14:23,313 --> 00:14:24,814
Oh, Billy.
447
00:14:24,815 --> 00:14:25,882
She's crazy.
448
00:14:25,883 --> 00:14:26,883
No, Dad.
449
00:14:26,884 --> 00:14:28,184
I'm gonna be in
a recital tomorrow.
450
00:14:28,185 --> 00:14:30,153
Boys hardly ever
get to perform!
451
00:14:30,154 --> 00:14:31,320
There's a reason for that.
452
00:14:31,321 --> 00:14:32,521
YouTube.
453
00:14:32,522 --> 00:14:33,990
You'll be there, right?
454
00:14:39,775 --> 00:14:41,510
I really appreciate
you coming.
455
00:14:41,511 --> 00:14:43,111
Just cause you insulted
me behind my back
456
00:14:43,112 --> 00:14:45,146
doesn't mean I'm going
to let a psychotic gymnast
457
00:14:45,147 --> 00:14:46,114
kill my best-
458
00:14:46,115 --> 00:14:46,715
Friend?
459
00:14:46,716 --> 00:14:47,682
Bartender.
460
00:14:47,683 --> 00:14:50,551
We have a very
busy week coming up.
461
00:14:50,552 --> 00:14:51,619
Okay that's her.
Are you ready?
462
00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:53,053
Yes. I'll pretend
we're married
463
00:14:53,054 --> 00:14:54,454
and threaten to
cut her if she tries
464
00:14:54,455 --> 00:14:55,489
to take you away from me.
465
00:14:55,490 --> 00:14:57,257
You haven't answered my
466
00:14:57,258 --> 00:14:58,626
calls, texts,
Facebook messages,
467
00:14:58,627 --> 00:14:59,593
and you didn't come
to your window when
468
00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:01,294
I threw rocks at it.
469
00:15:01,295 --> 00:15:04,097
Hi. Who are you?
470
00:15:04,098 --> 00:15:05,231
A stranger.
471
00:15:05,232 --> 00:15:07,934
She's scary.
472
00:15:07,935 --> 00:15:10,837
I have to get
this thing started.
473
00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:21,513
I'll see you later.
474
00:15:21,514 --> 00:15:23,114
Okay.
475
00:15:23,115 --> 00:15:24,616
You're dating his teacher.
476
00:15:24,617 --> 00:15:26,384
So that's why Billy's
in gymnastics.
477
00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:27,653
I was just having
sex with her
478
00:15:27,654 --> 00:15:29,087
and I'm here for
the right reasons now.
479
00:15:29,088 --> 00:15:30,455
To support our boy.
480
00:15:30,456 --> 00:15:32,457
Plus I need witnesses
when I dump her.
481
00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:35,594
Why are you here?
482
00:15:35,595 --> 00:15:38,462
To support Billy
and to hang with my bestie.
483
00:15:38,463 --> 00:15:41,032
I hope that doesn't
bother you, Harry.
484
00:15:41,033 --> 00:15:42,466
I would hate to upset you
485
00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:44,035
by being friends with Irene.
486
00:15:44,036 --> 00:15:46,336
I would just hate it.
487
00:15:46,337 --> 00:16:01,384
♪
♪
♪)
488
00:16:01,385 --> 00:16:03,352
Hey. Thanks for coming.
489
00:16:03,353 --> 00:16:05,021
Mom and Dad paid
you to keep us apart,
490
00:16:05,022 --> 00:16:06,089
so I knew I had to be here.
491
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,123
Oh, you heard about that?
492
00:16:07,124 --> 00:16:08,124
Listen, I-
493
00:16:08,125 --> 00:16:09,224
You don't have to explain.
494
00:16:09,225 --> 00:16:10,726
I'm sure it was
my parents' fault.
495
00:16:10,727 --> 00:16:12,227
Everything they do sucks.
496
00:16:12,228 --> 00:16:13,395
I knew you'd get it.
497
00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:21,503
You have to admit
the costume is super...
498
00:16:21,504 --> 00:16:22,571
scrapbook.
499
00:16:22,572 --> 00:16:23,772
Yeah.
500
00:16:29,979 --> 00:16:32,714
How dare you disobey our
suggestion to stay home.
501
00:16:32,715 --> 00:16:33,781
You're a welcher, Harry.
502
00:16:33,782 --> 00:16:34,949
Shhhhh!
503
00:16:37,152 --> 00:16:38,920
Why can't he just
play football and get
504
00:16:38,921 --> 00:16:40,721
brain damage
like normal boys?
505
00:16:40,722 --> 00:16:42,255
Your dad wanted you
to play football,
506
00:16:42,256 --> 00:16:43,423
didn't he?
507
00:16:43,424 --> 00:16:44,491
He couldn't understand;
508
00:16:44,492 --> 00:16:45,959
I just wanted to
play the drums.
509
00:17:00,473 --> 00:17:02,775
Ahh, man.
510
00:17:02,776 --> 00:17:05,011
I've become my dad.
511
00:17:07,413 --> 00:17:09,048
I am an idiot.
512
00:17:18,323 --> 00:17:19,658
Nice Billy!
513
00:17:19,659 --> 00:17:21,760
You kicked those girls asses!
514
00:17:21,761 --> 00:17:24,029
Woooo!
515
00:17:24,030 --> 00:17:25,664
Actually, he's pretty good.
516
00:17:25,665 --> 00:17:26,497
That's my son!
517
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,208
I had no intention of
not seeing Anastasia.
518
00:17:38,209 --> 00:17:40,243
Huh. So you were just
going to rip us off.
519
00:17:40,244 --> 00:17:41,411
Yes.
520
00:17:41,412 --> 00:17:43,781
But I plan on giving
all the money back.
521
00:17:43,782 --> 00:17:48,384
So, how much did
you give me again,
522
00:17:48,385 --> 00:17:49,618
Jonathan?
523
00:17:54,692 --> 00:17:56,458
ONE thousand dollars.
524
00:17:56,459 --> 00:17:58,094
That much?
525
00:17:58,095 --> 00:17:59,461
See? Didn't even cash it.
526
00:17:59,462 --> 00:18:00,896
That's all I'm worth to you?
527
00:18:00,897 --> 00:18:03,031
One thousand measly dollars?
528
00:18:03,032 --> 00:18:04,766
You're unbelievable.
529
00:18:07,369 --> 00:18:08,770
Hi lover.
530
00:18:08,771 --> 00:18:12,040
Wasn't Billy amazing?
531
00:18:12,041 --> 00:18:13,075
This is so unfair.
532
00:18:13,076 --> 00:18:14,776
But we can't keep
seeing each other.
533
00:18:14,777 --> 00:18:15,744
It's a conflict of interest.
534
00:18:15,745 --> 00:18:16,611
You're his teacher.
535
00:18:16,612 --> 00:18:18,012
I have to look out
for my son.
536
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:18,979
Didn't he tell you?
537
00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:20,047
Billy did so well that he's
538
00:18:20,048 --> 00:18:21,448
moved up to the next level.
539
00:18:21,449 --> 00:18:22,649
There's no conflict!
540
00:18:22,650 --> 00:18:23,851
I can't keep doing this.
541
00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:27,254
I'm, uh...
542
00:18:27,255 --> 00:18:28,422
seeing someone else.
543
00:18:28,423 --> 00:18:30,124
Who is she?
544
00:18:30,125 --> 00:18:33,159
Which one of those women?
545
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,062
Don't make me set fire
to all their houses.
546
00:18:36,063 --> 00:18:37,163
None of them.
547
00:18:37,164 --> 00:18:41,801
I've fallen for the
scrap booking teacher!
548
00:18:41,802 --> 00:18:42,969
You're gay?
549
00:18:42,970 --> 00:18:45,371
Mmmhmm.
550
00:18:47,274 --> 00:18:47,841
Billy.
551
00:18:51,377 --> 00:18:53,846
Wasn't it the coolest
thing you've ever seen?
552
00:18:53,847 --> 00:18:55,247
It was really something.
553
00:18:55,248 --> 00:18:57,049
I'm so proud of you.
554
00:18:59,585 --> 00:19:01,754
Billy has connected
with his passion.
555
00:19:01,755 --> 00:19:02,755
He'll be doing this
three times a week.
556
00:19:02,756 --> 00:19:04,156
What a blessing.
557
00:19:04,157 --> 00:19:05,657
Oh and his class is
going to be blessed
558
00:19:05,658 --> 00:19:06,691
with a special field trip
559
00:19:06,692 --> 00:19:07,892
to watch the nationals.
560
00:19:07,893 --> 00:19:09,294
A very expensive trip.
561
00:19:09,295 --> 00:19:10,462
So thank you.
562
00:19:10,463 --> 00:19:11,663
I'd like to help out,
563
00:19:11,664 --> 00:19:12,731
but I'm just a bartender.
564
00:19:12,732 --> 00:19:14,165
I don't really have
a lot of money.
565
00:19:14,166 --> 00:19:17,135
Oh. He just cheated
me out of five grand.
566
00:19:18,504 --> 00:19:20,004
I guess I could kick
in a few hun...
567
00:19:20,005 --> 00:19:21,972
Thousand.
568
00:19:21,973 --> 00:19:23,140
And you'll keep taking
Billy to class.
569
00:19:23,141 --> 00:19:24,475
This is so great.
570
00:19:24,476 --> 00:19:25,643
You two will have
more guy time.
571
00:19:25,644 --> 00:19:27,778
At Rhythmic Gymnastics.
572
00:19:27,779 --> 00:19:30,447
Yes, it is so great.
573
00:19:34,352 --> 00:19:36,186
Hey.
574
00:19:36,187 --> 00:19:37,820
I have something to tell you.
575
00:19:37,821 --> 00:19:39,389
Your father actually
tried to bribe me
576
00:19:39,390 --> 00:19:40,657
with five grand.
577
00:19:40,658 --> 00:19:41,824
Really?
578
00:19:42,993 --> 00:19:44,327
I'm splitting it with you.
579
00:19:44,328 --> 00:19:45,361
Our secret.
580
00:19:45,362 --> 00:19:46,262
Awesome, I'll put it towards
581
00:19:46,263 --> 00:19:47,563
buying my own motorcycle.
582
00:19:47,564 --> 00:19:49,499
Atta girl.
583
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:50,833
Ana.
584
00:19:50,834 --> 00:19:52,368
Daddy.
585
00:19:52,369 --> 00:19:53,702
You paid a lot of
money to get rid of Harry.
586
00:19:53,703 --> 00:19:54,869
I love you too.
587
00:19:54,870 --> 00:19:56,305
It was my idea.
588
00:19:56,306 --> 00:19:57,439
Typical.
589
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,174
Can I go for a ride
on the motorcycle?
590
00:19:59,175 --> 00:20:00,542
Never.
591
00:20:00,543 --> 00:20:02,444
You're such an
evil old witch!
592
00:20:03,713 --> 00:20:06,648
You are not old.
593
00:20:06,649 --> 00:20:08,183
Hey.
594
00:20:08,184 --> 00:20:09,351
Hey.
595
00:20:09,352 --> 00:20:11,019
I shouldn't have gone
between you and Irene.
596
00:20:11,020 --> 00:20:13,288
Well you proved yourself
a womanizing,
597
00:20:13,289 --> 00:20:15,156
manipulative,
self-interested jerk,
598
00:20:15,157 --> 00:20:17,225
and a bad friend.
599
00:20:17,226 --> 00:20:18,927
I didn't want Irene
to make me look bad.
600
00:20:18,928 --> 00:20:20,494
She knows where the
bodies are hidden.
601
00:20:20,495 --> 00:20:21,863
Figure of speech.
602
00:20:23,065 --> 00:20:25,633
Please don't exclude
me from the baby's life.
603
00:20:26,734 --> 00:20:28,335
You really care
about this baby.
604
00:20:28,336 --> 00:20:29,369
Don't tell Irene.
605
00:20:29,370 --> 00:20:31,038
She'll never stop teasing me.
606
00:20:31,039 --> 00:20:32,039
Awww!
607
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,007
Harry loves his unborn child.
608
00:20:34,008 --> 00:20:36,009
Shut up. I do not.
609
00:20:36,010 --> 00:20:37,344
Yes I do.
610
00:20:40,724 --> 00:20:41,891
We would've become friends
611
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:43,392
even if it didn't
bother Harry, right?
612
00:20:43,393 --> 00:20:44,426
Of course.
613
00:20:44,427 --> 00:20:45,627
If we weren't friends,
614
00:20:45,628 --> 00:20:46,696
it's only because of our
different viewpoints.
615
00:20:46,697 --> 00:20:47,629
Yeah.
616
00:20:47,630 --> 00:20:48,931
Or 'cause after sobering up,
617
00:20:48,932 --> 00:20:51,466
you realize one of
us is really boring.
618
00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:52,902
Or kind of bitchy.
619
00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:53,869
Whatever.
620
00:20:53,870 --> 00:20:55,204
Not because we're two women.
621
00:20:55,205 --> 00:20:56,237
Exactly!
622
00:20:56,238 --> 00:20:57,806
It's because one of us sucks.
623
00:20:57,807 --> 00:20:59,741
Right. And is a prude.
624
00:20:59,742 --> 00:21:01,009
Harry's an idiot
for thinking otherwise.
625
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,211
Such an idiot.
626
00:21:04,413 --> 00:21:05,847
What the hell was that?
627
00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:08,850
Harry's motorcycle. Ohmygod.
628
00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:10,051
Why do people keep parking
629
00:21:10,052 --> 00:21:11,452
their motorcycles
behind cars?
630
00:21:11,453 --> 00:21:13,353
It's OK.
631
00:21:13,354 --> 00:21:14,688
Just drive it forward.
632
00:21:19,527 --> 00:21:20,928
Good.
633
00:21:20,929 --> 00:21:23,764
Now, back up over it again.
634
00:21:43,987 --> 00:21:46,423
I'm gonna need a
bigger scrapbook.
635
00:21:46,424 --> 00:21:48,859
I guess it's back to
riding the bus, Harry.
636
00:21:48,860 --> 00:21:53,976
Sync & corrections by No1
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