1
00:00:03,924 --> 00:00:04,990
You wanted to see me?

2
00:00:05,058 --> 00:00:06,358
I have some news,

3
00:00:06,426 --> 00:00:07,525
and I wanted you to be the first to know.

4
00:00:07,594 --> 00:00:09,661
Well, like, 40th.

5
00:00:09,730 --> 00:00:11,730
But the first here at MMN.

6
00:00:11,798 --> 00:00:13,298
No, I suppose not.

7
00:00:13,702 --> 00:00:17,136
The point is, I've been promoted... again.

8
00:00:17,205 --> 00:00:19,372
Wow. Congratulations.

9
00:00:19,441 --> 00:00:22,041
- Like a boss.
- Mm, very much so.

10
00:00:22,110 --> 00:00:24,344
Starting next week, I will be the new COO

11
00:00:24,412 --> 00:00:27,981
of Waffen Spielzeug Fernsehen,
the conglomerate which owns

12
00:00:28,049 --> 00:00:30,520
MMN, Nerf, and Lockheed Martin.

13
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,153
Mm. Congromelate. Yes.

14
00:00:32,221 --> 00:00:34,688
I'll be working from
Stuttgart, but on the weekends,

15
00:00:34,757 --> 00:00:36,557
I'll be able to meet my children halfway

16
00:00:36,626 --> 00:00:39,027
on an aircraft carrier in the Bering Sea.

17
00:00:39,231 --> 00:00:41,235
Children love the Bering Sea.

18
00:00:41,277 --> 00:00:42,573
So you won't be around?

19
00:00:42,598 --> 00:00:43,953
But you're my mentor.

20
00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:46,405
Could you appear in the clouds
when I have a moral conundrum?

21
00:00:46,475 --> 00:00:50,310
I do have Mufasa technology,
but it's very expensive.

22
00:00:50,729 --> 00:00:51,997
Oh, one last thing.

23
00:00:51,997 --> 00:00:53,797
I know that you have been trying to

24
00:00:54,074 --> 00:00:55,874
figure out your next move, but I think

25
00:00:55,942 --> 00:00:57,632
you've earned a title bump.

26
00:00:58,203 --> 00:01:00,670
How would you like to be
senior associate producer?

27
00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:04,410
Katie Wendelson, Senior Associate Producer.

28
00:01:04,450 --> 00:01:07,084
Oh, man, I wish I knew how
to change my email signature,

29
00:01:07,152 --> 00:01:10,051
'cause it still says, "Go,
Paramus High Field Hockey!"

30
00:01:10,356 --> 00:01:11,455
I won't let you down.

31
00:01:11,523 --> 00:01:12,862
I'm sure you won't.

32
00:01:14,193 --> 00:01:15,258
Mom!

33
00:01:15,662 --> 00:01:17,162
Mom, huge news.

34
00:01:17,230 --> 00:01:18,963
Diana just gave me a promotion.

35
00:01:19,032 --> 00:01:22,067
Oh, Katie, that's great! Oh!

36
00:01:22,135 --> 00:01:24,002
Oh, I can see it now.

37
00:01:24,071 --> 00:01:27,583
Corner office, fancy desk, gold nameplate.

38
00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,539
Hey, why aren't there more
pictures of me in there?

39
00:01:30,608 --> 00:01:32,608
Well, no, it's just a title,

40
00:01:32,677 --> 00:01:35,144
but I finally feel like I'm
headed in the right direction.

41
00:01:35,212 --> 00:01:36,959
Oh, that's great, Katie.

42
00:01:37,281 --> 00:01:40,616
Oh. Oh, speaking of
high-level corporate shake-ups,

43
00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:44,353
Brayden R. is going back to
Rutgers for his sophomore year,

44
00:01:44,422 --> 00:01:47,389
which means there's an
opening for a new head intern.

45
00:01:47,458 --> 00:01:49,658
- Wait a minute.
- Brayden R. was only a freshman?

46
00:01:49,952 --> 00:01:51,404
He was over 18, though, right?

47
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:52,753
Mm-mm-mm.

48
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:54,115
So are you gonna apply?

49
00:01:54,143 --> 00:01:55,279
Me?

50
00:01:55,310 --> 00:01:57,919
Oh, no, I don't think that
I'm leadership material.

51
00:01:57,963 --> 00:01:59,663
Mom, don't underestimate yourself.

52
00:01:59,732 --> 00:02:02,032
If you want something,
you should go for it,

53
00:02:02,101 --> 00:02:03,533
like I did with Diana.

54
00:02:03,602 --> 00:02:04,835
You're right, Katie.

55
00:02:04,904 --> 00:02:06,959
I should apply for that job.

56
00:02:07,303 --> 00:02:09,002
Wow, you give good advice.

57
00:02:09,002 --> 00:02:09,980
Mm.

58
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:12,001
What do you know about lesbian bed death?

59
00:02:12,073 --> 00:02:14,206
Because I think it's
happening to Daddy and me.

60
00:02:20,513 --> 00:02:22,513
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com

61
00:02:22,856 --> 00:02:24,756
Wow, Diana got another promotion?

62
00:02:24,825 --> 00:02:26,324
She's, like, my hero.

63
00:02:26,393 --> 00:02:28,860
It used to be Tavi Gevinson,
but then she got old.

64
00:02:28,929 --> 00:02:30,595
I would've been back sooner, but the lady

65
00:02:30,664 --> 00:02:33,632
at the Pathmark bakery counter
wasn't super on the ball.

66
00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:36,134
Mm-hmm, "Congratulations Diana

67
00:02:36,203 --> 00:02:38,169
"in blue icing with an exclamation point

68
00:02:38,238 --> 00:02:41,206
"after Diana should I
put from Katie on the cake

69
00:02:41,275 --> 00:02:44,264
"or just tell her it was
from me hey what are you"...

70
00:02:44,327 --> 00:02:45,693
Too bad Diana's leaving.

71
00:02:45,762 --> 00:02:47,128
I totally could've hit that.

72
00:02:47,197 --> 00:02:49,230
- Come on, man.
- Um, uh-huh. Right.

73
00:02:49,298 --> 00:02:51,872
Like the time you told us you
hooked up with Lorna Doone.

74
00:02:51,897 --> 00:02:52,966
That's a cookie.

75
00:02:53,068 --> 00:02:54,568
So it wasn't technically a lie.

76
00:02:54,637 --> 00:02:56,770
Don't be disgusting,
Justin. Diana is our boss.

77
00:02:56,839 --> 00:02:58,238
You're just jealous.

78
00:02:58,307 --> 00:02:59,740
I'm telling you, she came into my edit bay

79
00:02:59,808 --> 00:03:01,427
and tried to French all over me.

80
00:03:01,458 --> 00:03:02,776
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, you've said

81
00:03:02,845 --> 00:03:04,678
a lot of stuff recently that makes me think

82
00:03:04,747 --> 00:03:06,313
you don't know what sex is.

83
00:03:06,382 --> 00:03:08,081
So you heard the news?

84
00:03:08,150 --> 00:03:09,249
It's true.

85
00:03:09,318 --> 00:03:10,918
I got the head intern job.

86
00:03:10,986 --> 00:03:13,153
That's great, Mom. Wait,
no, that's for Diana!

87
00:03:13,222 --> 00:03:14,555
A cake for me?

88
00:03:14,623 --> 00:03:16,390
So you heard about my big endorsement deal.

89
00:03:16,458 --> 00:03:17,690
It's true.

90
00:03:17,783 --> 00:03:21,517
You're looking at the new face
of the Tomato Juice Council.

91
00:03:21,799 --> 00:03:24,078
Tomatoes... take a sip.

92
00:03:24,635 --> 00:03:25,725
Please?

93
00:03:26,170 --> 00:03:28,922
Wait, no, no, no, ju...

94
00:03:31,171 --> 00:03:32,904
- You wanted to see me?
- Hmm?

95
00:03:32,973 --> 00:03:34,772
Oh, yes, it's about tonight's panel.

96
00:03:34,841 --> 00:03:36,674
Jeff Sessions has agreed to be on the show,

97
00:03:36,743 --> 00:03:39,811
but we don't have enough
telephone books for his chair.

98
00:03:40,223 --> 00:03:41,623
I'm sorry.

99
00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:43,352
I seem to have dropped my pen.

100
00:03:43,421 --> 00:03:44,687
Would you mind bending
over and picking it up?

101
00:03:44,755 --> 00:03:45,874
Oh, yes, of course.

102
00:03:50,327 --> 00:03:52,261
Clumsy me.

103
00:03:54,566 --> 00:03:55,965
Slower this time.

104
00:04:01,124 --> 00:04:02,356
Mm-hmm.

105
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:09,263
I've been sexually harassed.

106
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:10,403
Oh, my God!

107
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,499
That's how you say "harassed"?

108
00:04:13,255 --> 00:04:15,256
What do you mean you got harassed?

109
00:04:15,258 --> 00:04:16,991
Was it Chuck? I wasn't gonna say anything,

110
00:04:16,993 --> 00:04:18,692
but I think he might think you're a girl.

111
00:04:18,694 --> 00:04:20,794
- No, it was Diana.
- Wait, Diana?

112
00:04:20,796 --> 00:04:21,880
Yes, Justin was right.

113
00:04:21,911 --> 00:04:23,597
She made me feel like a piece of meat.

114
00:04:23,599 --> 00:04:25,529
Okay, what did she do to you?

115
00:04:25,803 --> 00:04:27,403
We were in her office,

116
00:04:27,405 --> 00:04:30,047
and out of nowhere, Katie,

117
00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:32,394
she dropped her pen.

118
00:04:32,745 --> 00:04:33,872
Dropped her pen?

119
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,507
I'm sorry, I don't know
that many sex moves.

120
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:36,542
According to a "Cosmo" quiz,

121
00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:37,709
I'm pretty enough to just lie there.

122
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,528
No, no, she dropped her pen

123
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,280
and made me pick it up.

124
00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:43,382
Wait, that's it? Ugh.

125
00:04:43,670 --> 00:04:46,337
Men always think that women
are trying to sleep with them.

126
00:04:46,339 --> 00:04:48,506
If a woman is even the
slightest bit nice to a man,

127
00:04:48,508 --> 00:04:50,602
he thinks it's because
she's in love with him.

128
00:04:53,646 --> 00:04:55,725
Relax. I've got a girlfriend.

129
00:04:57,784 --> 00:04:59,684
I expect that kind of thing from Justin,

130
00:04:59,753 --> 00:05:01,052
but from you, Greg?

131
00:05:01,121 --> 00:05:02,153
Maybe it was innocent.

132
00:05:02,222 --> 00:05:03,588
But... but it felt wrong.

133
00:05:03,656 --> 00:05:05,022
Trust me, okay?

134
00:05:05,091 --> 00:05:07,391
This is Diana effing St. effing Tropez.

135
00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:08,626
If she wanted you...

136
00:05:08,695 --> 00:05:10,027
she wouldn't throw a pen.

137
00:05:10,096 --> 00:05:11,662
She would just take you.

138
00:05:11,731 --> 00:05:13,197
She would just take you
and just grab you and just

139
00:05:13,266 --> 00:05:14,532
take you and she would just shove it...

140
00:05:14,601 --> 00:05:15,700
Katie.

141
00:05:15,769 --> 00:05:17,635
Anyway, it didn't happen.

142
00:05:24,676 --> 00:05:28,346
Hey, someone dressed up for
their first day as head intern.

143
00:05:28,414 --> 00:05:29,981
Very profesh.

144
00:05:30,049 --> 00:05:32,716
I got the suit from my
neighbor's son's bar mitzvah.

145
00:05:32,963 --> 00:05:33,943
Gay.

146
00:05:38,217 --> 00:05:39,483
Good morning, underlings.

147
00:05:39,552 --> 00:05:41,285
I am Carol Wendelson,

148
00:05:41,354 --> 00:05:44,355
and I am your new head intern.

149
00:05:44,791 --> 00:05:47,357
Look, we all loved Brayden
R., but let's be honest.

150
00:05:47,426 --> 00:05:49,093
He didn't run a very tight ship.

151
00:05:49,161 --> 00:05:50,628
That ends today.

152
00:05:50,671 --> 00:05:52,160
Under my watch,

153
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,602
we're gonna start washing
the coffee mugs before

154
00:05:54,657 --> 00:05:57,021
dumping them out and putting
them back in the cabinet.

155
00:05:57,485 --> 00:05:58,689
You don't wash them?

156
00:05:58,689 --> 00:06:00,649
It's a new day at MMN.

157
00:06:00,788 --> 00:06:02,855
If we put our minds to
it, we might even get that

158
00:06:02,924 --> 00:06:06,325
old balloon everyone complains
about down from the ceiling.

159
00:06:06,394 --> 00:06:09,228
They say it's been there
since these were the offices

160
00:06:09,297 --> 00:06:11,430
for "Yo! MMN Raps."

161
00:06:17,271 --> 00:06:18,962
You know what?

162
00:06:19,099 --> 00:06:20,699
Richard, this is not gonna work.

163
00:06:20,767 --> 00:06:23,535
I don't know; that balloon's
pretty high up there.

164
00:06:23,604 --> 00:06:25,504
Even Brayden R. couldn't get it down.

165
00:06:25,572 --> 00:06:27,572
Well, Brayden R.'s not here anymore.

166
00:06:27,641 --> 00:06:29,175
He abandoned you.

167
00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:32,234
All you have is Brayden
C., the other Brayden R.,

168
00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:34,738
tall Brayden, and me, Carol.

169
00:06:34,807 --> 00:06:36,306
What's your name, anyway?

170
00:06:36,375 --> 00:06:39,056
Moana. My parents named me after the movie.

171
00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:41,737
How old are you?

172
00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:49,854
Well, it wasn't just me.

173
00:06:49,922 --> 00:06:52,122
Diana harassed Gene and Wayne too.

174
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:53,952
Yeah, just like she did me.

175
00:06:54,021 --> 00:06:55,053
That's definitely a lie.

176
00:06:56,524 --> 00:06:57,756
She told me that she'd fire me

177
00:06:57,825 --> 00:06:58,991
unless I ate a banana in front of her.

178
00:07:00,261 --> 00:07:02,161
Yeah. You like potassium?

179
00:07:02,229 --> 00:07:04,863
Take it all. Take all that potassium.

180
00:07:06,523 --> 00:07:07,889
What the hell is wrong with you?

181
00:07:07,914 --> 00:07:08,862
So?

182
00:07:08,901 --> 00:07:11,010
Maybe she was just trying
to get you to eat healthy.

183
00:07:11,199 --> 00:07:12,333
Well, what about me?

184
00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:13,799
She promised to approve my request

185
00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:16,969
for the new 8K S41 camera
if I danced for her.

186
00:07:17,038 --> 00:07:18,645
Of course I said no.

187
00:07:22,717 --> 00:07:24,732
Can I at least put some
music on or something?

188
00:07:25,065 --> 00:07:25,998
No.

189
00:07:26,066 --> 00:07:27,266
Case closed.

190
00:07:27,334 --> 00:07:28,500
Chung-chung.

191
00:07:28,569 --> 00:07:30,174
You know, from "Law & Order."

192
00:07:30,229 --> 00:07:32,062
In England, it's called
"Barristers & Decorum,"

193
00:07:32,131 --> 00:07:33,890
and every role is played
by Dame Maggie Smith.

194
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,398
Okay, I don't know what's going on here,

195
00:07:35,467 --> 00:07:37,868
but I refuse to believe that the future COO

196
00:07:37,936 --> 00:07:40,554
of a multibillion-dollar congromelate

197
00:07:40,611 --> 00:07:44,361
would risk her promotion
just to molest... this.

198
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:45,906
How many more men have to come forward

199
00:07:45,949 --> 00:07:47,214
before you believe us?

200
00:07:47,239 --> 00:07:49,165
Um, in the words of the Cosby jurors,

201
00:07:49,221 --> 00:07:51,689
duh, I don't know, more than 60?

202
00:07:51,757 --> 00:07:53,157
This always happens.

203
00:07:53,225 --> 00:07:54,992
Men just can't stand
seeing a woman in power,

204
00:07:55,061 --> 00:07:57,194
so they'll do anything to tear her down.

205
00:07:57,479 --> 00:07:59,229
Hillary "did Benghazi."

206
00:07:59,376 --> 00:08:01,855
Catherine the Great "had sex with horses."

207
00:08:01,910 --> 00:08:03,099
Portia brand teeth whitener is

208
00:08:03,169 --> 00:08:05,202
"just leftover paint from her gazebo."

209
00:08:05,271 --> 00:08:07,705
Well, there's only one way to settle this.

210
00:08:07,773 --> 00:08:09,073
Exactly, Chuck.

211
00:08:09,141 --> 00:08:11,075
We need to report her to human resources.

212
00:08:11,143 --> 00:08:14,131
I will weave a web of seduction

213
00:08:14,367 --> 00:08:15,966
and catch her in the act.

214
00:08:16,035 --> 00:08:19,448
It is time for a good
old-fashioned honeypot.

215
00:08:20,540 --> 00:08:22,166
What would you even report,

216
00:08:22,191 --> 00:08:25,459
that Gene ate a banana and
that Wayne didn't dance?

217
00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:27,548
Even if Diana made you guys uncomfortable,

218
00:08:27,617 --> 00:08:29,350
what were you doing in her office?

219
00:08:29,419 --> 00:08:31,786
In the middle of the day? Alone?

220
00:08:31,854 --> 00:08:32,953
Are you saying that we ask for it?

221
00:08:33,022 --> 00:08:34,088
No. No, no, no.

222
00:08:34,157 --> 00:08:35,165
I'm just saying...

223
00:08:36,492 --> 00:08:37,906
What were you wearing?

224
00:08:38,161 --> 00:08:39,963
- That is not right.
- Victim shaming.

225
00:08:40,002 --> 00:08:42,763
I dress sexy because it makes me feel good.

226
00:08:42,832 --> 00:08:44,119
Okay, okay.

227
00:08:44,347 --> 00:08:46,748
Just, before you go to HR,
just let me talk to Diana.

228
00:08:46,816 --> 00:08:49,189
I'm sure there's a perfectly
reasonable explanation

229
00:08:49,214 --> 00:08:50,446
for all of this.

230
00:08:50,771 --> 00:08:52,032
There has to be.

231
00:08:52,272 --> 00:08:53,438
Diana's innocent.

232
00:08:53,507 --> 00:08:54,773
She wasn't interested in me,

233
00:08:54,842 --> 00:08:56,241
which proves that she's a very serious,

234
00:08:56,310 --> 00:08:57,943
very professional lady.

235
00:08:58,012 --> 00:08:59,054
Case closed.

236
00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:09,249
Carol has one more obstacle to complete

237
00:09:09,318 --> 00:09:12,352
before she becomes the
next American Ninja Warrior.

238
00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:16,356
Can she slam-dunk these
scripts into the recycling bi...

239
00:09:18,761 --> 00:09:20,902
And the judges say it's close enough,

240
00:09:20,902 --> 00:09:22,868
and the crowd goes wild.

241
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:25,838
And she's, like, a million years old.

242
00:09:26,945 --> 00:09:29,257
When I told her to Venmo
me the $5 she owed me,

243
00:09:29,362 --> 00:09:30,928
she gave me these weird paper tickets.

244
00:09:31,180 --> 00:09:32,980
There's no way she
deserves to be head intern.

245
00:09:33,048 --> 00:09:35,048
I heard she only got the job
'cause her daughter's, like,

246
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,283
a producer on the show or something.

247
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:38,520
How lame is that?

248
00:09:45,298 --> 00:09:46,315
Carol?

249
00:09:46,704 --> 00:09:50,031
I consider myself a keen
observer of the female psyche,

250
00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:53,574
and I can tell you're feeling, uh...

251
00:09:53,970 --> 00:09:54,836
gassy?

252
00:09:54,904 --> 00:09:56,576
Right as always, Chuck.

253
00:09:57,740 --> 00:09:59,737
I'm also beginning to worry that

254
00:10:00,376 --> 00:10:02,076
I don't deserve my job.

255
00:10:02,145 --> 00:10:03,945
Executive producer.

256
00:10:04,013 --> 00:10:05,103
Head intern.

257
00:10:05,481 --> 00:10:08,015
All the other interns go to fancy schools

258
00:10:08,084 --> 00:10:09,625
and they know news stuff.

259
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:11,078
They can lift a box

260
00:10:11,079 --> 00:10:13,012
without getting permission
from their chiropractor.

261
00:10:13,081 --> 00:10:14,480
Of course you deserve it.

262
00:10:14,549 --> 00:10:16,752
Those kids are a bunch of spoiled brats.

263
00:10:16,872 --> 00:10:18,805
Listen, I don't trust anybody

264
00:10:18,874 --> 00:10:20,473
who can afford to work for free.

265
00:10:20,542 --> 00:10:22,942
When I was in college, I made my own way,

266
00:10:23,011 --> 00:10:25,035
giving tug jobs down at the docks.

267
00:10:25,060 --> 00:10:26,109
Huh?

268
00:10:26,134 --> 00:10:28,934
You know, tugging the boats
out of the port with my hands.

269
00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,579
Well, I don't get paid either.

270
00:10:30,648 --> 00:10:34,508
But you've got something
those jerk interns don't have.

271
00:10:34,681 --> 00:10:36,147
- Bangs?
- No!

272
00:10:36,216 --> 00:10:37,649
Life experience.

273
00:10:37,718 --> 00:10:40,318
All the things you've
accumulated over the years.

274
00:10:40,387 --> 00:10:41,886
The things you've gathered.

275
00:10:42,298 --> 00:10:44,965
They're worth more than all
the money and connections

276
00:10:45,034 --> 00:10:48,436
and young brains that
remember names, Rachel.

277
00:10:48,636 --> 00:10:50,104
You are right.

278
00:10:50,707 --> 00:10:54,375
I'm gonna show those kids that
I deserve to be head intern.

279
00:10:54,849 --> 00:10:56,276
Thank you, Chuck.

280
00:10:59,657 --> 00:11:02,191
Oh.

281
00:11:04,562 --> 00:11:06,226
Come on.

282
00:11:06,270 --> 00:11:09,005
Damn it, I should've asked her
to cut me out of these things.

283
00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:14,813
Ah, Katie. Come in.

284
00:11:14,813 --> 00:11:17,437
I'm just looking at pictures
of my new office in Stuttgart.

285
00:11:17,545 --> 00:11:20,117
Ooh, is that a real
Jackson Pollock on the wall?

286
00:11:20,187 --> 00:11:21,987
No, the previous COO shot himself

287
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:23,590
because the job was too hard.

288
00:11:24,425 --> 00:11:25,891
- What can I do you for?
- Hey, I don't...

289
00:11:25,959 --> 00:11:27,592
I don't wanna get anyone in trouble,

290
00:11:27,661 --> 00:11:29,127
but I thought you should maybe know

291
00:11:29,196 --> 00:11:30,696
what some people on staff
are saying about you.

292
00:11:30,764 --> 00:11:32,931
Don't worry. I've heard it all.

293
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,100
Steve Ballmer once called me an...

294
00:11:39,973 --> 00:11:41,110
Muncher.

295
00:11:41,442 --> 00:11:43,008
But that's just Steve
being Steve, you know?

296
00:11:43,084 --> 00:11:44,934
We own the Clippers together now.

297
00:11:44,959 --> 00:11:46,658
Well, this is so stupid.

298
00:11:46,727 --> 00:11:48,994
But, um, some of the guys downstairs

299
00:11:49,063 --> 00:11:51,964
are saying that you sexually harassed them.

300
00:11:52,032 --> 00:11:53,365
Isn't that crazy?

301
00:11:53,434 --> 00:11:55,334
They're insane.

302
00:11:55,402 --> 00:11:56,802
That is what I said.

303
00:11:56,870 --> 00:11:59,004
That wasn't sexual harassment.

304
00:11:59,363 --> 00:12:00,562
They wanted it.

305
00:12:02,862 --> 00:12:05,364
Wait, so you did all that stuff

306
00:12:05,398 --> 00:12:06,702
that the guys said you did?

307
00:12:06,753 --> 00:12:09,949
I may have made a few off-color comments,

308
00:12:09,974 --> 00:12:12,475
but, you know, that's
just locker room talk.

309
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:15,668
So I told a couple guys
they had nice bulges.

310
00:12:15,670 --> 00:12:17,503
Take the compliment.

311
00:12:17,505 --> 00:12:19,972
I mean, I'm leaving
MMN in a couple of days.

312
00:12:19,974 --> 00:12:22,392
I just wanted to cut loose and have fun.

313
00:12:22,939 --> 00:12:25,407
What can I say? I'm a very horny gal.

314
00:12:25,407 --> 00:12:26,312
Right.

315
00:12:26,337 --> 00:12:29,037
Well, some of them wanted
to report you to HR, but...

316
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:30,372
You stopped them.

317
00:12:30,803 --> 00:12:32,125
That shows loyalty.

318
00:12:32,156 --> 00:12:33,789
That's exactly what I would expect

319
00:12:33,859 --> 00:12:36,366
from a senior associate producer.

320
00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:39,299
Us gals gotta stick together, right?

321
00:12:39,368 --> 00:12:41,762
Give me a pervert's high
five. You know how to do it.

322
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,040
Mm-hmm.

323
00:12:47,964 --> 00:12:51,099
I do deserve to be head intern.

324
00:12:52,469 --> 00:12:55,319
See you in hell, Brayden R.

325
00:13:17,561 --> 00:13:18,826
Oh, here we go.

326
00:13:18,895 --> 00:13:20,161
Oh, ugh!

327
00:13:20,230 --> 00:13:22,330
Ugh... oh, there we go.

328
00:13:22,399 --> 00:13:24,808
How do I get up there?

329
00:13:25,753 --> 00:13:26,686
Ugh.

330
00:13:26,711 --> 00:13:27,844
Oh. Almost there.

331
00:13:27,913 --> 00:13:29,279
I think I'm right above it.

332
00:13:29,348 --> 00:13:30,414
Uh-oh.

333
00:13:31,617 --> 00:13:32,580
Ugh!

334
00:13:44,372 --> 00:13:46,606
Hello, Dave. I'm home.

335
00:13:46,674 --> 00:13:47,640
Hello, dear.

336
00:13:47,709 --> 00:13:49,075
Dinner's almost ready.

337
00:13:54,592 --> 00:13:56,826
Dave, I told you I needed a new shed

338
00:13:56,895 --> 00:13:58,661
for all my vacuum stuff.

339
00:13:58,699 --> 00:13:59,892
You got it, dear.

340
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:02,749
I'll just demolish my prized
tulip garden to make room.

341
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,058
Ugh.

342
00:14:04,127 --> 00:14:06,127
<i>Everything you've
accumulated over the years.</i>

343
00:14:06,196 --> 00:14:07,829
<i>Everything you've gathered.</i>

344
00:14:07,897 --> 00:14:10,849
<i>Get it, Carol?</i>

345
00:14:16,119 --> 00:14:18,686
Now tell me I don't deserve this job.

346
00:14:19,224 --> 00:14:20,956
How did you get it down?

347
00:14:22,621 --> 00:14:25,620
With everything I've
accumulated all these years.

348
00:14:30,602 --> 00:14:33,036
But I guess they don't
teach life experience

349
00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:34,738
in your fancy schools.

350
00:14:34,770 --> 00:14:36,269
Or hoarding.

351
00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:39,910
Wow, you really do
deserve to be head intern.

352
00:14:40,242 --> 00:14:42,842
I guess I was just jealous
that I didn't get the job.

353
00:14:42,911 --> 00:14:44,783
Yes. I win.

354
00:14:44,821 --> 00:14:47,422
But before I lift my fist in victory,

355
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:49,286
I have to call my chiropractor.

356
00:14:51,679 --> 00:14:52,845
Hey, Dr. Bob.

357
00:14:52,914 --> 00:14:54,072
Okay, I won't.

358
00:14:54,308 --> 00:14:56,684
Also, I fell out of the ceiling earlier.

359
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:00,186
Guess what, Katie.

360
00:15:00,452 --> 00:15:03,089
I am a great head intern,

361
00:15:03,158 --> 00:15:06,192
and this piece of
plastic garbage proves it.

362
00:15:08,554 --> 00:15:09,674
What's wrong?

363
00:15:09,705 --> 00:15:11,986
I don't know what to do about Diana.

364
00:15:12,742 --> 00:15:14,141
I really looked up to her,

365
00:15:14,210 --> 00:15:16,744
but I think she might be a bad person.

366
00:15:16,812 --> 00:15:18,078
How bad are we talking?

367
00:15:18,147 --> 00:15:20,003
Like, Cousin Jimmy bad?

368
00:15:20,649 --> 00:15:22,049
Or Cousin Frank bad?

369
00:15:22,118 --> 00:15:24,651
She's a sexual harasser, Mom.

370
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,787
I wanna be loyal, but if I stay quiet,

371
00:15:26,856 --> 00:15:28,422
I'm just as bad as she is.

372
00:15:28,491 --> 00:15:29,757
So you know.

373
00:15:30,021 --> 00:15:31,888
- Huh?
- Well, it's true.

374
00:15:31,957 --> 00:15:33,122
It's all true!

375
00:15:33,191 --> 00:15:35,158
I don't deserve to be head intern.

376
00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:38,294
The only way I got this
job is that Diana made me...

377
00:15:39,097 --> 00:15:40,299
Do things.

378
00:15:41,028 --> 00:15:43,228
So you wanna be head intern.

379
00:15:43,297 --> 00:15:46,060
Yes, Ms. St. Trapeze,
and here is my résumé.

380
00:15:46,801 --> 00:15:48,167
I might be able to help you out

381
00:15:48,235 --> 00:15:50,860
if you... play your cards right.

382
00:15:51,839 --> 00:15:53,571
What do you think of this guy?

383
00:15:54,742 --> 00:15:56,809
He looks strong, huh?

384
00:15:56,877 --> 00:15:58,615
Yes, real strong.

385
00:15:59,112 --> 00:16:00,364
Um, what?

386
00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:02,166
Oh, God!

387
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:05,415
My own mother's being harassed
and I've been covering it up!

388
00:16:05,466 --> 00:16:08,460
She made me play Go Fish
with her nudie cards.

389
00:16:08,460 --> 00:16:10,727
I won by getting four butts.

390
00:16:13,087 --> 00:16:14,935
I am so sorry.

391
00:16:15,372 --> 00:16:17,359
You guys were telling
the truth about Diana,

392
00:16:17,384 --> 00:16:18,688
but I didn't believe you.

393
00:16:18,739 --> 00:16:20,821
We are all going to HR
together to report her.

394
00:16:20,915 --> 00:16:22,148
I will do the talking.

395
00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:24,378
Diana was... was...

396
00:16:25,086 --> 00:16:26,919
I can't remember. I'm so
nervous, I can't remember.

397
00:16:26,988 --> 00:16:28,654
It doesn't matter what you say.

398
00:16:28,723 --> 00:16:31,124
No one is gonna believe any
of you normies over someone

399
00:16:31,192 --> 00:16:33,159
as powerful as Diana St. Tropez.

400
00:16:33,411 --> 00:16:35,544
My mentor, Roger Ailes,
had been whipping it out

401
00:16:35,613 --> 00:16:37,346
in front of women for decades.

402
00:16:37,415 --> 00:16:39,682
By the way... bad penis.

403
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:41,350
- Mm.
- It's actually why

404
00:16:41,419 --> 00:16:42,885
they started calling penises "junk."

405
00:16:42,953 --> 00:16:44,320
So there's nothing we can do?

406
00:16:44,388 --> 00:16:45,688
Well, Rog didn't get in trouble

407
00:16:45,756 --> 00:16:47,651
until Gretchen Carlson secretly taped him.

408
00:16:48,025 --> 00:16:48,991
We're gonna need proof.

409
00:16:49,060 --> 00:16:50,125
Course!

410
00:16:50,227 --> 00:16:51,527
Honeypot. I'm on it.

411
00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:53,329
- Please don't, Chuck.
- No, no, no.

412
00:16:53,397 --> 00:16:54,797
- Let me do it.
- No, wait.

413
00:16:54,865 --> 00:16:56,017
He's right this time.

414
00:16:56,322 --> 00:16:58,534
But we need a honey we know she'll go for.

415
00:16:58,602 --> 00:16:59,947
A sympathetic victim.

416
00:16:59,972 --> 00:17:01,704
Someone who wouldn't
mind putting themselves

417
00:17:01,740 --> 00:17:02,953
in the line of fire.

418
00:17:02,985 --> 00:17:06,220
Someone so appealing, she can't refuse.

419
00:17:06,694 --> 00:17:09,989
_

420
00:17:11,787 --> 00:17:13,908
Come in, I'm just saying
good night to my children.

421
00:17:14,292 --> 00:17:15,892
_

422
00:17:17,659 --> 00:17:19,059
Hey, boss lady.

423
00:17:26,304 --> 00:17:29,072
So you did get that new camera?

424
00:17:29,140 --> 00:17:31,874
Uh, what had happened was, she...

425
00:17:31,943 --> 00:17:32,909
Shh.

426
00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:37,213
I want another promotion.

427
00:17:37,435 --> 00:17:39,491
What do I have to do to get it?

428
00:17:40,053 --> 00:17:41,719
I'm gonna ask you a question, Carol.

429
00:17:41,788 --> 00:17:43,921
And I want you to think
about it very seriously

430
00:17:43,990 --> 00:17:44,956
before you answer.

431
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:47,553
Have you ever heard of a
dance called the dougie?

432
00:17:47,649 --> 00:17:50,067
- Have I!
- Then do it for me.

433
00:17:53,170 --> 00:17:54,466
Nice, Carol.

434
00:17:54,771 --> 00:17:56,071
Very pretty, Carol.

435
00:17:56,139 --> 00:17:58,245
<i>Très jolie,</i> Carol.

436
00:17:58,913 --> 00:18:00,075
Yeah.

437
00:18:00,143 --> 00:18:03,211
That's the hot soup
Mama wants for supper...

438
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,914
Ugh, I can't do this. What
is wrong with you people?

439
00:18:05,983 --> 00:18:06,948
What?

440
00:18:07,017 --> 00:18:08,383
I have been disgusting.

441
00:18:08,452 --> 00:18:10,352
I have harassed the men. I've harassed you.

442
00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:12,921
I admitted all of it to Katie,
thinking she would report me,

443
00:18:12,990 --> 00:18:13,989
and she didn't.

444
00:18:14,057 --> 00:18:15,390
No one did.

445
00:18:15,459 --> 00:18:18,049
Wait, you wanna be reported to HR?

446
00:18:18,049 --> 00:18:19,482
Of course I do.

447
00:18:19,550 --> 00:18:20,917
Basically, the only person
in the whole building

448
00:18:20,985 --> 00:18:22,752
I haven't hit on is Justin.

449
00:18:22,820 --> 00:18:24,420
Oh, God, Justin.

450
00:18:24,489 --> 00:18:25,955
- Ew.
- Gross.

451
00:18:26,024 --> 00:18:29,091
I have fought for workplace
equality for 25 years.

452
00:18:29,559 --> 00:18:32,128
I just want what the men get:

453
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,693
$40 million to go away.

454
00:18:35,172 --> 00:18:37,639
Roger Ailes got 40 just
for whipping it out.

455
00:18:37,708 --> 00:18:40,542
Billy Bush got 9 just for
giggling about boobies.

456
00:18:40,611 --> 00:18:42,712
Bill O'Reilly got 25.

457
00:18:43,113 --> 00:18:45,295
But no, I just keep succeeding

458
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,573
and succeeding and succeeding

459
00:18:47,618 --> 00:18:50,219
and using westbound international flights

460
00:18:50,287 --> 00:18:52,894
to create a 175-hour workweek.

461
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:56,158
And now they wanna promote me again.

462
00:18:56,227 --> 00:18:58,393
I just wanna go away, Carol.

463
00:18:58,462 --> 00:19:00,329
Why won't they let me go away?

464
00:19:00,397 --> 00:19:02,715
Aw, your poor thing.

465
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,300
I know you're all out there, by the way.

466
00:19:05,369 --> 00:19:06,969
You're very bad at hiding.

467
00:19:08,405 --> 00:19:10,172
That's a nice story, sweetheart,

468
00:19:10,241 --> 00:19:11,974
but it just has one hole.

469
00:19:12,042 --> 00:19:13,876
How come you never made a pass at me?

470
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,477
Because you would've been into it.

471
00:19:15,546 --> 00:19:16,845
You're right, I would have.

472
00:19:16,914 --> 00:19:19,158
And I still can be, if you, uh...

473
00:19:20,655 --> 00:19:21,955
No? Anyone?

474
00:19:21,998 --> 00:19:23,424
- No.
- Mm-mm.

475
00:19:23,449 --> 00:19:26,291
I am so sorry I made you
all feel uncomfortable.

476
00:19:26,316 --> 00:19:27,710
It's horrible.

477
00:19:27,751 --> 00:19:29,751
I really don't understand
what men get out of it.

478
00:19:29,819 --> 00:19:31,561
That and golf. Why?

479
00:19:32,116 --> 00:19:33,880
- Hard to explain.
- I don't believe that.

480
00:19:33,905 --> 00:19:35,027
You know what?

481
00:19:35,046 --> 00:19:36,445
No, it's not. We're all a bunch of sickos.

482
00:19:36,470 --> 00:19:39,030
Diana, I've seen you work so hard,

483
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:41,895
and you've done so much for
me and... and for the show,

484
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,390
so if it would help,

485
00:19:45,324 --> 00:19:47,223
I'll tell HR you harassed me.

486
00:19:47,292 --> 00:19:49,259
Really? You would do that?

487
00:19:50,562 --> 00:19:53,363
I'll say you made me jump
up and down until it jiggled.

488
00:19:53,432 --> 00:19:55,398
I'll say you put your fingers in my mouth.

489
00:19:55,467 --> 00:19:57,334
I'll say you made me sit on your hand.

490
00:19:57,402 --> 00:19:59,362
I'll say you called me "hot chocolate"

491
00:19:59,362 --> 00:20:00,728
and spit in my beard.

492
00:20:00,798 --> 00:20:02,531
I'll say you made me take my pants off

493
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,900
and rub my butt on the
stuff in your office.

494
00:20:04,969 --> 00:20:06,768
- Okay, that'll do.
- Mm-hmm.

495
00:20:06,837 --> 00:20:08,070
It's a generous offer,

496
00:20:08,138 --> 00:20:09,538
but I can't let you do that for me.

497
00:20:09,607 --> 00:20:11,373
I've put you all through enough.

498
00:20:11,442 --> 00:20:13,375
I'm just gonna have to suck it up

499
00:20:13,453 --> 00:20:16,151
and continue being amazing.

500
00:20:16,877 --> 00:20:19,671
But I do hope I get to see
you all again soon because

501
00:20:19,979 --> 00:20:23,614
you may well be the kindest,
most supportive group of people

502
00:20:23,683 --> 00:20:24,970
I've ever worked with.

503
00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:28,125
Ugh!

504
00:20:28,150 --> 00:20:29,183
Huge germophobe.

505
00:20:32,416 --> 00:20:34,132
Hey, Chuck, look.

506
00:20:35,053 --> 00:20:38,097
Maybe it doesn't matter how
I got that head intern job.

507
00:20:38,148 --> 00:20:39,926
They know I deserve it.

508
00:20:40,492 --> 00:20:41,758
And so do I.

509
00:20:41,996 --> 00:20:43,096
You're right, Carol.

510
00:20:43,164 --> 00:20:45,198
Of course Diana wanted me.

511
00:20:45,266 --> 00:20:46,699
- Ah.
- But I see now that she

512
00:20:46,768 --> 00:20:49,102
couldn't possibly have
acted on her animal urges

513
00:20:49,170 --> 00:20:51,904
because there was only one thing
that would've ruined her plan.

514
00:20:52,874 --> 00:20:54,094
Falling in love.

515
00:20:55,980 --> 00:20:57,713
So do I still get the promotion,

516
00:20:57,782 --> 00:20:59,960
or was that also just
you trying to get fired?

517
00:21:00,004 --> 00:21:02,972
No, that was a good decision.
You deserve that title.

518
00:21:02,997 --> 00:21:06,311
And maybe someday when you
get to be in my position,

519
00:21:06,498 --> 00:21:10,269
we'll live in a world
where a woman can be a creep

520
00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:13,446
and go home with a huge golden parachute.

521
00:21:14,431 --> 00:21:16,874
That sounds like a
world worth fighting for.

522
00:21:17,466 --> 00:21:18,353
Hey.

523
00:21:18,679 --> 00:21:20,112
Thanks for being my gal.

524
00:21:20,181 --> 00:21:21,359
It's been an honor.