1
00:00:04,188 --> 00:00:05,353
- There you are.
- Oh, hi.

2
00:00:05,353 --> 00:00:07,119
I'm sorry I'm late. I was at the dentist

3
00:00:07,188 --> 00:00:08,754
and he was late because he tried espresso

4
00:00:08,823 --> 00:00:10,623
for the first time and he
had a bathroom disaster.

5
00:00:10,691 --> 00:00:12,057
- Not me.
- Please, stop.

6
00:00:12,126 --> 00:00:13,359
I'm just really anxious

7
00:00:13,427 --> 00:00:15,227
to get my hands on your hacking story.

8
00:00:15,296 --> 00:00:16,951
- How's it coming?
- Great.

9
00:00:17,198 --> 00:00:18,464
So I have proof

10
00:00:18,532 --> 00:00:20,165
that Biscuit Blitz is not just a game.

11
00:00:20,234 --> 00:00:21,967
It's a data-mining app

12
00:00:22,036 --> 00:00:24,036
that's stealing information
from people's phones.

13
00:00:24,105 --> 00:00:25,237
This is so exciting.

14
00:00:25,306 --> 00:00:26,939
Are you ready to run it tonight?

15
00:00:27,008 --> 00:00:28,653
'Cause the last thing we
want is to get scooped.

16
00:00:28,669 --> 00:00:30,702
No, I-I need more time.
I haven't even figured out

17
00:00:30,732 --> 00:00:32,551
who owns the company yet, but...

18
00:00:32,773 --> 00:00:34,272
the answer is in one of my boxes.

19
00:00:34,341 --> 00:00:35,503
What boxes?

20
00:00:36,138 --> 00:00:37,804
- Good Lord.
- I know.

21
00:00:37,873 --> 00:00:39,940
These are Biscuit
Blitz's financial records.

22
00:00:40,008 --> 00:00:42,785
It's all a bunch of
complicated business gibberish.

23
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,911
Well, I need you to get this done AQAP.

24
00:00:44,980 --> 00:00:46,246
- Hmm?
- That's British for

25
00:00:46,315 --> 00:00:47,881
"as quickly as presentable."

26
00:00:48,066 --> 00:00:50,335
The stakes are higher than you know.

27
00:00:50,910 --> 00:00:51,885
My Gram is coming.

28
00:00:53,745 --> 00:00:55,822
Wait, your grandma? Who cares?

29
00:00:55,891 --> 00:00:57,524
No, you don't understand.

30
00:00:57,592 --> 00:00:59,025
She's not your ordinary gram.

31
00:00:59,094 --> 00:01:00,488
She's very cold

32
00:01:00,513 --> 00:01:02,329
and we have a tenuous relationship

33
00:01:02,397 --> 00:01:04,009
and I really need to impress her...

34
00:01:04,433 --> 00:01:06,136
and she owns the
network. Anyway, see you.

35
00:01:06,183 --> 00:01:08,013
Hold up! Owns the what-work?

36
00:01:12,175 --> 00:01:14,175
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com

37
00:01:14,246 --> 00:01:17,447
You are such a secretive creep.

38
00:01:17,705 --> 00:01:20,183
It is a private family situation, Katie.

39
00:01:20,252 --> 00:01:22,118
I don't know everything
about your family.

40
00:01:22,187 --> 00:01:24,621
Well, I do, but that's
only 'cause of Carol's blog.

41
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:28,290
"I am Carol Wendelson This Is My
Blog Welcome to My Blog Hello."

42
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,093
How could you have never mentioned this?

43
00:01:30,162 --> 00:01:31,461
It's not that weird, Katie.

44
00:01:31,530 --> 00:01:32,996
That is so weird.

45
00:01:33,065 --> 00:01:35,031
It's the weirdest thing I've ever heard,

46
00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:37,734
and I'm a season-ticket holder
at Ripley's Believe It or Not.

47
00:01:37,803 --> 00:01:40,070
Pays for itself after 50 visits.

48
00:01:40,138 --> 00:01:41,771
Wait a minute. So your grandmother is

49
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,341
our boss's boss's boss's boss?

50
00:01:44,409 --> 00:01:45,416
'S boss...

51
00:01:46,288 --> 00:01:48,745
'S boss's boss's boss.

52
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:49,980
My grandma owns a network.

53
00:01:50,048 --> 00:01:51,548
- Like hell.
- Aw, come on.

54
00:01:51,617 --> 00:01:53,116
- Yeah, right.
- Of underground mole people.

55
00:01:53,185 --> 00:01:55,085
- Yes, she does.
- Portia, did you know

56
00:01:55,153 --> 00:01:57,721
that Greg's grandmother owns MMN?

57
00:01:57,789 --> 00:02:00,457
Hold up. Your gram is Mildred Marlock?

58
00:02:00,743 --> 00:02:02,759
She's a serious business bitch.

59
00:02:02,828 --> 00:02:04,895
She's on the British
version of "Shark Tank."

60
00:02:05,115 --> 00:02:06,695
You know. "Pond Scum."

61
00:02:06,765 --> 00:02:08,899
'Ello, Scums. What would you say

62
00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:10,767
to a revolutionary invention

63
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:12,535
that keeps your beer warm?

64
00:02:12,604 --> 00:02:14,471
Investing in an idea like that

65
00:02:14,539 --> 00:02:16,773
is gonna make me rich and famous.

66
00:02:16,842 --> 00:02:19,509
- I'm in.
- Indubitably!

67
00:02:19,578 --> 00:02:22,045
You could go with one
of these balmy wankers,

68
00:02:22,114 --> 00:02:25,048
or you could go with the
Scum who put a chimney roomba

69
00:02:25,117 --> 00:02:27,150
in every home, castle, and flat.

70
00:02:33,458 --> 00:02:34,531
I'll go with her.

71
00:02:36,162 --> 00:02:38,528
Well, you'll all get to meet Gram today.

72
00:02:38,597 --> 00:02:40,297
Uh, I really wanna show her that

73
00:02:40,365 --> 00:02:42,438
I've been doing a good
job of running this place.

74
00:02:42,578 --> 00:02:43,933
So who has segment pitches?

75
00:02:44,002 --> 00:02:45,402
Uh, there's a bomb threat

76
00:02:45,470 --> 00:02:48,180
- at a college in New Jersey.
- Wait, which one?

77
00:02:48,317 --> 00:02:50,192
Jonathan Bon Jovi Community College.

78
00:02:50,217 --> 00:02:52,309
Oh, my God. That's where my mom goes.

79
00:02:52,666 --> 00:02:54,956
She's in her journalism class right now.

80
00:02:58,984 --> 00:03:00,650
Oh, excuse me. Sir, sir, sir!

81
00:03:00,719 --> 00:03:02,185
Hi, have you seen this woman?

82
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,610
Uh, no.

83
00:03:03,855 --> 00:03:05,588
She makes me take them
at Sear's every year

84
00:03:05,657 --> 00:03:07,324
for her birthday. It's her birthday.

85
00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:11,895
- Hello?
- Mom, oh, my God!

86
00:03:11,964 --> 00:03:13,330
I've called you, like, a million times.

87
00:03:13,398 --> 00:03:14,664
- Are you okay?
- Of course.

88
00:03:14,733 --> 00:03:15,832
Why wouldn't I be?

89
00:03:15,901 --> 00:03:17,400
Wh... I'm at your school.

90
00:03:17,469 --> 00:03:20,003
- Are you here?
- Of course I'm at school.

91
00:03:20,384 --> 00:03:21,738
Angie, make it sound

92
00:03:21,807 --> 00:03:23,540
like you're at school.

93
00:03:24,196 --> 00:03:26,134
Uh, school sucks.

94
00:03:26,159 --> 00:03:27,776
Yeah, drugs rule!

95
00:03:27,846 --> 00:03:30,447
Hey, everybody, look. Here comes Fonzie.

96
00:03:30,515 --> 00:03:31,581
Hey!

97
00:03:31,650 --> 00:03:33,650
- Oh, boy.
- Wow!

98
00:03:33,719 --> 00:03:35,018
Ten credits.

99
00:03:35,430 --> 00:03:37,386
Are you in Atlantic City?

100
00:03:37,456 --> 00:03:40,023
Oh, the new "The View"
slot machine just came out.

101
00:03:40,092 --> 00:03:42,258
I won 50 bucks on a
Whoopi, Whoopi, Whoopi.

102
00:03:42,327 --> 00:03:44,094
How long have you been skipping school?

103
00:03:44,162 --> 00:03:45,395
How long have you been a narc?

104
00:03:45,464 --> 00:03:47,197
- Mom.
- Okay, fine.

105
00:03:47,265 --> 00:03:48,664
It's just the one time

106
00:03:49,158 --> 00:03:50,443
that I attended.

107
00:03:50,936 --> 00:03:53,236
You have an internship
for college credit.

108
00:03:53,305 --> 00:03:55,271
You cannot work here if
you don't go to school.

109
00:03:55,340 --> 00:03:57,440
Oh, please, I'm like a God at MMMM.

110
00:03:57,509 --> 00:03:58,775
Who's gonna fire me?

111
00:04:09,079 --> 00:04:11,120
That's weird. The wind is shifting.

112
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,127
It suddenly got cold in here.

113
00:04:15,662 --> 00:04:16,760
Gram.

114
00:04:19,901 --> 00:04:20,817
Hello.

115
00:04:27,261 --> 00:04:28,334
Ugh.

116
00:04:30,251 --> 00:04:31,358
You seem on edge.

117
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:32,966
Are you taking those diet pills I sell?

118
00:04:32,991 --> 00:04:34,890
Don't. I'm rebranding them as rat poison.

119
00:04:34,967 --> 00:04:36,367
No, it's my mom.

120
00:04:36,435 --> 00:04:38,402
I wasted all day thinking she was dead

121
00:04:38,471 --> 00:04:40,545
when I was supposed to
be working on my story.

122
00:04:40,545 --> 00:04:43,046
I missed a meeting with
this hacker, The Oyster.

123
00:04:43,115 --> 00:04:44,347
He used to be a low-level engineer

124
00:04:44,416 --> 00:04:46,349
- at Biscuit Blitz.
- The Oyster?

125
00:04:46,410 --> 00:04:49,044
What a stupid name.

126
00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:51,908
DJ Pickle At Da Club. What up?

127
00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:56,806
Hey, has anyone seen my mom?

128
00:04:56,806 --> 00:04:59,440
No, and I haven't seen
my mom in 28 years.

129
00:04:59,509 --> 00:05:01,344
So thanks for reminding me.

130
00:05:03,046 --> 00:05:05,246
Mom, are you hiding from me?

131
00:05:06,182 --> 00:05:07,548
I cannot believe

132
00:05:07,617 --> 00:05:09,350
that you haven't been going to school.

133
00:05:09,419 --> 00:05:11,953
If it gets out that our
unpaid intern isn't a student

134
00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:13,187
we could get sued, okay?

135
00:05:13,256 --> 00:05:15,289
Greg could go to jail for slavery.

136
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:16,991
Now that sounds like a Greg problem.

137
00:05:17,093 --> 00:05:18,893
You have been working so hard.

138
00:05:18,962 --> 00:05:20,394
Why are you willing to just risk it all

139
00:05:20,463 --> 00:05:21,729
to play hooky with Angie?

140
00:05:21,798 --> 00:05:23,945
Because I can't go to school.

141
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:25,793
Because I have a...

142
00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:27,952
bully.

143
00:05:29,038 --> 00:05:30,905
Oh, my God, Mom.

144
00:05:30,974 --> 00:05:33,808
Yeah, I have to do his homework for him.

145
00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:36,277
He tells me what to do and where to sit

146
00:05:36,346 --> 00:05:38,012
and when to go to the bathroom.

147
00:05:38,096 --> 00:05:39,662
Mom, are you talking about your teacher?

148
00:05:39,716 --> 00:05:41,148
- Okay, fine.
- Great.

149
00:05:41,217 --> 00:05:42,617
I haven't been going, Katie,

150
00:05:42,685 --> 00:05:44,085
- because it's too hard.
- Hmm.

151
00:05:44,153 --> 00:05:45,820
The first day, the professor came in

152
00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:47,121
and he said for all of us

153
00:05:47,190 --> 00:05:49,724
- to turn our work into a PDF.
- Mm-hmm.

154
00:05:49,792 --> 00:05:51,425
- Who's Petey F.?
- Oh, my God.

155
00:05:51,494 --> 00:05:52,927
I grew up with a Petey Francis,

156
00:05:52,996 --> 00:05:54,962
so, okay, I sent my work to him.

157
00:05:55,031 --> 00:05:57,264
He didn't respond. So I quit.

158
00:05:57,333 --> 00:05:59,934
- Mom, ya barely tried.
- Okay, I need help.

159
00:06:00,003 --> 00:06:01,502
- Not ridicule.
- All right.

160
00:06:01,539 --> 00:06:02,903
When you were in the fourth grade

161
00:06:02,972 --> 00:06:05,206
and you were struggling,
you almost failed math,

162
00:06:05,274 --> 00:06:06,741
and you would have if I didn't teach you

163
00:06:06,809 --> 00:06:08,809
with fresh and funky raps. Remember?

164
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:10,244
♪ Yo, yo, my name is Carol ♪

165
00:06:10,313 --> 00:06:11,646
♪ And I'm here to say ♪

166
00:06:11,714 --> 00:06:14,148
♪ Fractions are
bomb-diggity in every way ♪

167
00:06:14,217 --> 00:06:15,750
Yeah, I got a D

168
00:06:15,818 --> 00:06:18,452
'cause your raps were just
about how great fractions are

169
00:06:18,554 --> 00:06:20,221
and they were filled with curse words.

170
00:06:20,289 --> 00:06:21,589
Okay, you just don't get hip-hop.

171
00:06:21,658 --> 00:06:24,006
- I raised you too white.
- Okay.

172
00:06:24,227 --> 00:06:26,160
Mom, I don't have time to help you,

173
00:06:26,229 --> 00:06:27,695
and I really can't be distracted.

174
00:06:27,764 --> 00:06:30,431
♪ Yo, yo, my name is Carol
and I'm failing school ♪

175
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:33,034
♪ My daughter won't help
me and that ain't cool ♪

176
00:06:33,102 --> 00:06:34,568
- ♪ Bleep her ♪
- Oh.

177
00:06:34,637 --> 00:06:35,903
♪ Bleep her ♪

178
00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:37,284
Bleep!

179
00:06:38,374 --> 00:06:40,975
And that is the control
room where the magic happens.

180
00:06:41,044 --> 00:06:43,477
- Is there magic happening?
- I mean metaphorical magic.

181
00:06:43,546 --> 00:06:45,446
Oh, it's always metaphorical magic.

182
00:06:45,515 --> 00:06:47,381
Ah, the great Chuck Pierce.

183
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,350
I still remember your report

184
00:06:49,419 --> 00:06:51,852
when the statue of Saddam Hussein fell

185
00:06:51,921 --> 00:06:53,220
on your Porta Potti.

186
00:06:53,289 --> 00:06:55,956
What a wonderful
compliment, Dame Marlock.

187
00:06:56,025 --> 00:06:57,358
It's a pleasure to meet you too.

188
00:06:57,427 --> 00:06:59,627
Greg has told us so little about you.

189
00:06:59,696 --> 00:07:01,162
Well, I just feel it's inappropriate

190
00:07:01,230 --> 00:07:02,897
to bring family drama into the workplace.

191
00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:04,765
- Yeah.
- Go to school, Mom!

192
00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:06,200
I'm an old woman!

193
00:07:06,269 --> 00:07:07,476
Okay, fine.

194
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,704
But I want a backpack
with "Frozen" on it.

195
00:07:09,772 --> 00:07:11,672
We will talk about a
backpack with "Frozen" on it.

196
00:07:11,741 --> 00:07:13,533
Good lord, who's that?

197
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:16,444
That is our 60-year-old intern, Carol.

198
00:07:16,512 --> 00:07:17,745
No, not her.

199
00:07:17,814 --> 00:07:20,081
You know, you should
hire more older women.

200
00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:22,379
We don't eat, so it's cost effective.

201
00:07:22,719 --> 00:07:25,653
I mean the shrill one. The
one that was yelling at her.

202
00:07:25,722 --> 00:07:26,954
Oh, that's Katie.

203
00:07:27,023 --> 00:07:28,422
She's the one who's been working on that

204
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:29,957
big hacking story I
was telling you about.

205
00:07:30,026 --> 00:07:31,959
Ah, yes. The biscuit game.

206
00:07:32,028 --> 00:07:33,828
I'm anxious to know more about that.

207
00:07:33,896 --> 00:07:35,996
Katie, any updates on your story?

208
00:07:36,065 --> 00:07:38,833
Uh, no, but please keep
bugging me about it every second

209
00:07:38,901 --> 00:07:40,468
- 'cause that's super helpful.
- Okay, well,

210
00:07:40,536 --> 00:07:41,702
just get through those boxes

211
00:07:41,771 --> 00:07:43,604
because we do not want to get scooped.

212
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,439
Uh, don't have to tell me about scooping.

213
00:07:45,464 --> 00:07:47,849
I eat two pints of ice
cream every night, pal.

214
00:07:48,444 --> 00:07:51,562
Is this how the staff talks to you?

215
00:07:52,248 --> 00:07:55,216
Well, I'm very disappointed, Gregorious.

216
00:07:59,518 --> 00:08:01,322
Chuck, I need to ask you a favor.

217
00:08:01,390 --> 00:08:03,591
With love and news,

218
00:08:03,659 --> 00:08:05,647
Chuck Pierce.

219
00:08:06,562 --> 00:08:09,196
Nope. My gram apparently likes you,

220
00:08:09,265 --> 00:08:10,464
and would dearly love it

221
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,052
if you could join us
for dinner this evening.

222
00:08:12,077 --> 00:08:13,877
How dare you try to pimp me out.

223
00:08:13,903 --> 00:08:16,203
I'm a newsman, not a courtesan.

224
00:08:16,272 --> 00:08:18,339
No matter what you've heard
about me and Joan Collins.

225
00:08:18,407 --> 00:08:21,267
Please. I just really
need this visit to go well.

226
00:08:21,683 --> 00:08:23,944
There is nothing sadder in this
world than a strained relationship

227
00:08:23,969 --> 00:08:25,813
between a grandmother and a grandson.

228
00:08:25,882 --> 00:08:27,114
Oh, cry me a river.

229
00:08:27,183 --> 00:08:28,949
All my grandparents are dead.

230
00:08:29,018 --> 00:08:30,490
Two of them at the hands of each other.

231
00:08:30,787 --> 00:08:32,253
Ah, you're right. I'm sorry.

232
00:08:32,321 --> 00:08:34,588
It's not your problem I'm
the black sheep of the family.

233
00:08:34,657 --> 00:08:36,824
Black sheep? You?

234
00:08:36,893 --> 00:08:39,026
You're a goody-two-shoes
loser around here.

235
00:08:39,095 --> 00:08:41,490
What'd you do? Not get into Hogwarts?

236
00:08:41,537 --> 00:08:43,437
Gram gave me a shot
at working in the news

237
00:08:43,506 --> 00:08:44,638
at one of her companies in England

238
00:08:44,707 --> 00:08:45,973
and I...

239
00:08:46,042 --> 00:08:48,475
What's that American
expression you taught me?

240
00:08:48,544 --> 00:08:50,153
- Beefed it.
- Yeah.

241
00:08:50,782 --> 00:08:52,115
Keep using that.

242
00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:53,716
After my public humiliation,

243
00:08:53,785 --> 00:08:55,652
I decided to come to
America to prove to her

244
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,638
that I'm worthy of carrying
on the family business.

245
00:08:57,694 --> 00:08:59,738
Your gram sounds like a tough woman.

246
00:09:00,146 --> 00:09:02,430
Reminds me of my ex-wife, Darlene.

247
00:09:02,499 --> 00:09:04,549
She was bossy, manipulative.

248
00:09:04,768 --> 00:09:06,963
She made me cut off my ponytail.

249
00:09:07,437 --> 00:09:09,749
What's that? You think
I should grow it back?

250
00:09:10,006 --> 00:09:11,545
Pfft, okay.

251
00:09:11,808 --> 00:09:14,342
It's fine. I'm sure Gram will understand.

252
00:09:14,612 --> 00:09:16,481
No, wait. Hey, you know what?

253
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:19,214
- I will go to dinner with you.
- Really?

254
00:09:19,282 --> 00:09:20,748
Yeah, if only to teach you

255
00:09:20,817 --> 00:09:22,750
how to stand up to a monstrous woman.

256
00:09:22,819 --> 00:09:24,519
No, Chuck, I really need this to go well.

257
00:09:24,588 --> 00:09:26,354
She's buying, right?
Because I will be ordering

258
00:09:26,423 --> 00:09:28,590
a bowl of soup as an appetizer.

259
00:09:28,692 --> 00:09:30,091
- Not a cup.
- Chuck...

260
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,026
I know. People say I'll fill up,

261
00:09:32,095 --> 00:09:34,229
but you have no idea

262
00:09:34,297 --> 00:09:36,391
how my body processes soup.

263
00:09:40,161 --> 00:09:42,320
Okay, Wendelson,

264
00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:45,064
the answer is in here and
you have all day to find it.

265
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:47,633
Okay.

266
00:09:47,702 --> 00:09:49,467
Take it one page at a time.

267
00:09:51,505 --> 00:09:52,738
There you go.

268
00:09:52,807 --> 00:09:55,074
That was not so bad.

269
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:56,408
What?

270
00:09:56,477 --> 00:09:58,857
Dark time? What the hell?

271
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:01,847
It took me eight hours to read one page?

272
00:10:04,452 --> 00:10:06,345
Holy "Blindspot."

273
00:10:06,414 --> 00:10:07,853
Okay, so I went to school.

274
00:10:07,888 --> 00:10:09,588
I found out that the midterm is tomorrow

275
00:10:09,613 --> 00:10:11,523
and if don't pass, I get
dropped from my class.

276
00:10:11,548 --> 00:10:13,536
I phoned in another bomb
threat, they didn't buy it,

277
00:10:13,561 --> 00:10:14,793
so now I'm studying.

278
00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:17,262
No, you're not. You're cheating.

279
00:10:17,331 --> 00:10:19,029
Ah, Katie...

280
00:10:23,385 --> 00:10:25,125
I'm gonna fail this test.

281
00:10:25,550 --> 00:10:26,682
Ah...

282
00:10:27,565 --> 00:10:28,747
Mom, I...

283
00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:31,577
I wish I could help you,
but I just don't have time.

284
00:10:31,645 --> 00:10:33,769
It's okay, honey. It's not your problem.

285
00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:37,549
Ugh, fine. I'll do it tomorrow.

286
00:10:37,651 --> 00:10:39,721
Okay, me too. Great idea.

287
00:10:39,751 --> 00:10:40,753
No, no.

288
00:10:40,821 --> 00:10:43,369
You and I are gonna study
for this test together

289
00:10:43,494 --> 00:10:44,589
even if it takes all night.

290
00:10:44,658 --> 00:10:47,593
Oh, okay. This'll be
my first all-nighter.

291
00:10:47,661 --> 00:10:49,328
- Unless you count my...
- Don't say your wedding night.

292
00:10:49,396 --> 00:10:51,362
- Wedding night.
- Oh, my God.

293
00:10:53,959 --> 00:10:55,426
We'll all have your prime rib.

294
00:10:55,771 --> 00:10:57,989
I'm sorry, but you can't
tell us what to order.

295
00:10:58,014 --> 00:10:59,318
We're grown men.

296
00:11:00,197 --> 00:11:01,930
Actually, I would like the prime rib.

297
00:11:01,955 --> 00:11:03,584
Suit yourself, doormat.

298
00:11:04,245 --> 00:11:06,520
Uh, I think I'm gonna go with the, uh...

299
00:11:06,589 --> 00:11:07,655
prime rib.

300
00:11:08,177 --> 00:11:09,456
Greg, I have to come clean.

301
00:11:09,525 --> 00:11:11,458
I didn't just come here to reconnect.

302
00:11:11,527 --> 00:11:13,260
Obviously. You came to see the sights.

303
00:11:13,329 --> 00:11:14,595
Listen, I don't know
if it's on your list,

304
00:11:14,664 --> 00:11:17,398
but you must do the
audio tour at Ripley's.

305
00:11:17,466 --> 00:11:19,536
It's narrated by Dean Cain

306
00:11:19,567 --> 00:11:20,567
in person.

307
00:11:21,075 --> 00:11:22,169
No, I came here

308
00:11:22,238 --> 00:11:24,304
because I'm looking for the new president

309
00:11:24,373 --> 00:11:26,443
of the news division.

310
00:11:26,927 --> 00:11:27,968
Really?

311
00:11:27,993 --> 00:11:29,777
I've been watching you
over the past few years.

312
00:11:29,845 --> 00:11:32,815
I know you came to
America to prove yourself,

313
00:11:33,516 --> 00:11:35,683
but it wasn't until this
morning that I was certain.

314
00:11:36,086 --> 00:11:37,452
I'm giving the job

315
00:11:37,650 --> 00:11:38,754
to your brother.

316
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,221
What? Why? That was so misleading.

317
00:11:41,290 --> 00:11:43,290
He's more of a boss than you are.

318
00:11:43,337 --> 00:11:44,737
He's tough, calculating.

319
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,139
He's awful. He found that legal loophole

320
00:11:47,208 --> 00:11:48,474
that let's us fire pregnant women.

321
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:49,642
Exactly.

322
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,710
You're too close to your people.

323
00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:54,228
You let that awful Katie
woman walk all over you.

324
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:57,664
What I saw yesterday
was more disappointing

325
00:11:58,252 --> 00:12:01,302
than the day you didn't
get into Hogwarts.

326
00:12:01,522 --> 00:12:02,841
Excuse me.

327
00:12:05,146 --> 00:12:06,258
Wow.

328
00:12:06,327 --> 00:12:07,433
She's mean.

329
00:12:08,129 --> 00:12:09,161
Greg...

330
00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:10,830
I'm in love with your gram.

331
00:12:11,365 --> 00:12:13,942
- What?
- I'm gonna be your new pop-pop!

332
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:15,295
Come here!

333
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:20,205
Mom, are you done reading
the paragraph about libel yet?

334
00:12:20,274 --> 00:12:22,215
Hold on, hold on. Just one more hour.

335
00:12:24,879 --> 00:12:26,493
Mom!

336
00:12:26,493 --> 00:12:28,259
"S is for Sex Murder"?

337
00:12:29,205 --> 00:12:30,529
Don't you do it. Don't you do it.

338
00:12:30,597 --> 00:12:31,796
- Mm-hmm, I'm gonna do it.
- Don't you dare!

339
00:12:31,865 --> 00:12:33,198
I'm gonna... The killer is Tap Lacehand.

340
00:12:33,267 --> 00:12:34,766
What's the point

341
00:12:34,835 --> 00:12:37,602
of learning all this stuff?
When am I ever gonna use it?

342
00:12:37,671 --> 00:12:39,371
At your job!

343
00:12:39,439 --> 00:12:42,340
Mom, you're being so
difficult about this.

344
00:12:42,409 --> 00:12:43,542
I'm sorry, Katie.

345
00:12:43,610 --> 00:12:44,687
I'm just...

346
00:12:45,345 --> 00:12:47,679
- afraid.
- I swear to God, Mom,

347
00:12:47,748 --> 00:12:50,182
if you say the school is
haunted by a dead bride, I...

348
00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:52,337
No, I'm afraid of failing.

349
00:12:52,619 --> 00:12:56,154
Oh, I talked a big game
about going back to school,

350
00:12:56,223 --> 00:12:57,355
but what if I can't do it?

351
00:12:57,424 --> 00:12:59,124
If I don't try then I can't fail.

352
00:12:59,193 --> 00:13:01,193
Well, Mom, I know how you feel.

353
00:13:01,261 --> 00:13:03,528
I've been fighting for
Greg to give me my big shot,

354
00:13:03,597 --> 00:13:04,896
and... and now that
it's here, I feel like

355
00:13:04,965 --> 00:13:06,364
I'm completely in over my head.

356
00:13:06,433 --> 00:13:09,067
Oh, you will be fine.
You have a young brain.

357
00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:12,404
Oh, back when I tried to
get my degree 30 years ago,

358
00:13:12,472 --> 00:13:14,431
- I was in my prime.
- Wait, wait, wait.

359
00:13:14,775 --> 00:13:16,908
You went back to school 30 years ago?

360
00:13:16,977 --> 00:13:18,310
Sure. Only, I had to quit

361
00:13:18,378 --> 00:13:19,744
when you came along.

362
00:13:19,846 --> 00:13:21,146
Okay, don't feel bad.

363
00:13:21,215 --> 00:13:22,447
You were just a baby

364
00:13:22,516 --> 00:13:24,115
who came out of me like a tornado.

365
00:13:24,184 --> 00:13:26,051
My downstairs was destroyed.

366
00:13:26,119 --> 00:13:28,366
Well, I'm not gonna let
you quit this time, Mom.

367
00:13:28,755 --> 00:13:30,055
I cannot learn this stuff.

368
00:13:30,123 --> 00:13:31,990
It's like you with fractions.

369
00:13:32,059 --> 00:13:34,693
Or me when I'm trying to
remember Dave's mother's name,

370
00:13:34,761 --> 00:13:36,561
which is...

371
00:13:36,630 --> 00:13:38,230
- It's Carol.
- There you are.

372
00:13:38,298 --> 00:13:39,631
But wait a minute. You are right.

373
00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:41,499
This is like me and fractions,

374
00:13:41,568 --> 00:13:43,890
and do you remember what we did
when I couldn't learn fractions?

375
00:13:44,304 --> 00:13:46,438
We used fresh and funky raps.

376
00:13:46,506 --> 00:13:47,672
Listen to this.

377
00:13:47,741 --> 00:13:49,140
♪ Yo my name is Carol ♪

378
00:13:49,209 --> 00:13:50,442
♪ And I'm here to say ♪

379
00:13:50,510 --> 00:13:53,345
♪ I protect my sources
in an ethical way ♪

380
00:13:53,413 --> 00:13:55,962
- ♪ In an ethical way ♪
- [claps]

381
00:13:56,483 --> 00:13:57,616
What are you talking about?

382
00:13:57,684 --> 00:13:59,217
How are you in love with Gram?

383
00:13:59,286 --> 00:14:00,418
Well, I don't know, Greg.

384
00:14:00,487 --> 00:14:02,053
There's something about women like that.

385
00:14:02,122 --> 00:14:03,355
Gram, Darlene,

386
00:14:03,423 --> 00:14:05,423
that hot chick who
hosted "The Weakest Link."

387
00:14:05,492 --> 00:14:09,394
The meaner they are, the
more they drive me wild.

388
00:14:09,463 --> 00:14:11,763
- Ha!
- What is wrong with you?

389
00:14:11,832 --> 00:14:13,198
Same thing that's wrong with you, buddy.

390
00:14:13,267 --> 00:14:15,166
Sickos like us, we
can't get enough of it.

391
00:14:15,235 --> 00:14:16,268
No, you see, I'm not like that.

392
00:14:16,336 --> 00:14:17,406
Oh, yes, you are.

393
00:14:17,431 --> 00:14:19,104
You spent the last ten years of your life

394
00:14:19,172 --> 00:14:21,106
trying to impress a woman
who clearly hates you.

395
00:14:21,303 --> 00:14:22,774
Why do we do it?

396
00:14:22,843 --> 00:14:25,143
Why do we keep coming back for more?

397
00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:27,212
Because we hate ourselves.

398
00:14:27,281 --> 00:14:29,047
You know, what would be
really nice after this?

399
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,082
Going home and crying.

400
00:14:32,786 --> 00:14:33,747
Oh.

401
00:14:38,025 --> 00:14:39,209
Hey, Gram...

402
00:14:40,661 --> 00:14:42,794
how was the bathroom?

403
00:14:48,335 --> 00:14:49,515
You know what, Gram?

404
00:14:49,903 --> 00:14:51,136
Go to hell.

405
00:14:51,204 --> 00:14:52,470
I beg your pardon?

406
00:14:52,539 --> 00:14:54,439
You're wrong about me. I've changed.

407
00:14:54,577 --> 00:14:55,587
I'm strong,

408
00:14:55,976 --> 00:14:57,138
I'm a good boss,

409
00:14:57,411 --> 00:14:59,477
I've nearly mastered the
"Careless Whisper" sax solo

410
00:14:59,546 --> 00:15:00,645
on my recorder.

411
00:15:00,714 --> 00:15:01,795
But most of all,

412
00:15:02,208 --> 00:15:04,632
I don't need to get pushed
around by bullies anymore.

413
00:15:04,851 --> 00:15:06,443
I've wasted years trying to impress you,

414
00:15:06,512 --> 00:15:09,889
but I'm done. I'm done groveling to you.

415
00:15:13,986 --> 00:15:15,986
Well, that's a shame.

416
00:15:16,055 --> 00:15:18,055
But don't let it ruin
your night in New York.

417
00:15:18,124 --> 00:15:19,190
Now let me think.

418
00:15:19,258 --> 00:15:20,858
What could I recommend that's fun.

419
00:15:21,174 --> 00:15:23,294
Oh, have you ever tried

420
00:15:23,362 --> 00:15:25,761
treating a newsman like an ashtray?

421
00:15:27,075 --> 00:15:29,934
♪ Opinions don't belong
in hard news stories ♪

422
00:15:30,002 --> 00:15:32,903
♪ So delete "I think" from
your phrase inventories ♪

423
00:15:32,972 --> 00:15:34,249
♪ Words ♪

424
00:15:36,342 --> 00:15:38,475
You have earned that "Frozen" backpack.

425
00:15:38,544 --> 00:15:39,643
- Okay.
- Come here.

426
00:15:39,712 --> 00:15:41,779
- Ah, wish me luck.
- Yep, sure.

427
00:15:41,847 --> 00:15:43,159
- Ah.
- Good luck, Mom.

428
00:15:43,616 --> 00:15:45,382
Wait, what the hell?

429
00:15:45,451 --> 00:15:46,814
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

430
00:15:47,587 --> 00:15:49,753
We have just learned that the
recent spade of celebrity hacks

431
00:15:49,822 --> 00:15:52,456
is being tied to the
popular app Biscuit Blitz.

432
00:15:52,525 --> 00:15:53,691
I love that game.

433
00:15:53,759 --> 00:15:55,226
Guilty pleasure? Check.

434
00:15:55,294 --> 00:15:57,228
An investigation has led to

435
00:15:57,296 --> 00:16:00,274
the arrest of notorious
international hacker The Oyster.

436
00:16:00,306 --> 00:16:01,764
Biscuit Blitz released a statement

437
00:16:01,834 --> 00:16:04,268
apologizing for the breach
and informing gamers

438
00:16:04,337 --> 00:16:05,951
that they fixed the bug.

439
00:16:06,239 --> 00:16:08,072
Speaking of bugs, I still
can't kick this cold.

440
00:16:08,140 --> 00:16:09,506
Uh, well, you better
not get me sick, man...

441
00:16:09,575 --> 00:16:10,941
- Oh.
- 'Cause I got Phish tickets.

442
00:16:11,010 --> 00:16:12,977
- Oh.
- Two of 'em.

443
00:16:13,045 --> 00:16:14,979
What?

444
00:16:15,047 --> 00:16:16,280
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, man.

445
00:16:18,818 --> 00:16:20,784
I told you not to get scooped, Katie.

446
00:16:20,853 --> 00:16:22,820
No, no, no, that story is wrong.

447
00:16:22,888 --> 00:16:25,923
The Oyster's a two-bit hacker.
Why would he take the fall?

448
00:16:26,192 --> 00:16:27,488
He must have been paid off

449
00:16:27,642 --> 00:16:29,901
- by someone in the company.
- What company?

450
00:16:29,981 --> 00:16:31,213
You still haven't figured it out.

451
00:16:31,238 --> 00:16:33,197
Now whoever owns Biscuit
Blitz got ahead of the story.

452
00:16:33,266 --> 00:16:35,458
- I...
- You beefed it, Katie.

453
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,135
Welp, I failed.

454
00:16:45,824 --> 00:16:47,025
Your midterm?

455
00:16:47,025 --> 00:16:48,718
Mom, what... what about the raps?

456
00:16:48,884 --> 00:16:51,462
You know how Kanye's
a really good rapper,

457
00:16:51,531 --> 00:16:53,330
but whenever he tries
to explain his music

458
00:16:53,399 --> 00:16:54,732
he sounds like a raving lunatic?

459
00:16:54,801 --> 00:16:57,468
- I get that now.
- Did you even try?

460
00:16:57,537 --> 00:17:00,337
Mom, do you know that I lost my
story because I was helping you?

461
00:17:00,406 --> 00:17:02,339
Hey, I was perfectly fine cheating.

462
00:17:02,408 --> 00:17:04,630
I certainly would have
scored higher than a two.

463
00:17:04,911 --> 00:17:08,345
Ah, I guess if I actually
wanted to learn something,

464
00:17:08,414 --> 00:17:10,648
I should have stayed
in school 30 years ago.

465
00:17:10,716 --> 00:17:13,224
Well, I'm just wondering,
why didn't you, Mom?

466
00:17:13,415 --> 00:17:15,686
Because I had you. What
was I supposed to do?

467
00:17:15,755 --> 00:17:17,488
Leave you with
crackheads? Or your father?

468
00:17:17,557 --> 00:17:19,990
Did you really quit because I came along,

469
00:17:20,059 --> 00:17:21,659
or was school hard back then too

470
00:17:21,727 --> 00:17:23,735
and I was just a convenient excuse?

471
00:17:24,530 --> 00:17:26,509
You wanna talk about excuses?

472
00:17:26,799 --> 00:17:28,666
Who really quit because things got hard

473
00:17:28,691 --> 00:17:30,391
and she was afraid to fail?

474
00:17:30,503 --> 00:17:32,803
The old lady who learned 17 raps

475
00:17:32,872 --> 00:17:35,773
or the young woman who read
one page of her documents?

476
00:17:35,842 --> 00:17:38,108
You could have worked on
your story last night, Katie,

477
00:17:38,177 --> 00:17:40,344
but I was a convenient excuse.

478
00:17:40,413 --> 00:17:41,745
That's not true.

479
00:17:41,814 --> 00:17:44,356
And 30 years ago, that wasn't an excuse.

480
00:17:44,917 --> 00:17:46,607
That was a sacrifice.

481
00:17:47,453 --> 00:17:48,617
There's a difference.

482
00:17:51,791 --> 00:17:53,924
Hey, you could be my new daughter.

483
00:17:53,993 --> 00:17:55,860
- I have to start over.
- Cool.

484
00:17:55,928 --> 00:17:57,361
I'm going out of town this weekend.

485
00:17:57,430 --> 00:18:00,361
Can you watch my ferret?
I mean, your grandson.

486
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:02,390
He's very sick.

487
00:18:05,938 --> 00:18:07,104
Gram.

488
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,806
I thought you'd be back in London

489
00:18:08,875 --> 00:18:11,876
or at your second home in
Glouchestershireford-upon-Avon.

490
00:18:11,944 --> 00:18:14,078
I just have one question for you.

491
00:18:14,146 --> 00:18:15,876
Are you going to apologize?

492
00:18:18,718 --> 00:18:20,280
No. I'm not.

493
00:18:20,786 --> 00:18:23,053
Honestly, I don't love
not having a family.

494
00:18:23,122 --> 00:18:24,655
It's not fun eating
Christmas dinner alone

495
00:18:24,724 --> 00:18:25,990
at the Olive Garden.

496
00:18:26,058 --> 00:18:27,491
They say when you're there you're family,

497
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:28,826
but they don't mean it.

498
00:18:28,895 --> 00:18:31,729
Still, I would rather never see you again

499
00:18:31,797 --> 00:18:34,238
than apologize for
standing up for myself.

500
00:18:35,835 --> 00:18:36,849
I see.

501
00:18:41,507 --> 00:18:43,126
You won!

502
00:18:43,809 --> 00:18:44,909
Won what?

503
00:18:44,977 --> 00:18:46,977
The jackpot, my dear boy.

504
00:18:47,046 --> 00:18:50,121
The grand and glorious jackpot.

505
00:18:50,550 --> 00:18:52,864
- Are you stroking out?
- I misjudged you.

506
00:18:53,152 --> 00:18:55,207
I had no idea there
was a backbone in there.

507
00:18:55,232 --> 00:18:58,689
If you can keep being tough
and lead with a firm hand,

508
00:18:58,758 --> 00:19:00,740
you can run the news division.

509
00:19:02,828 --> 00:19:04,929
Gram, I've never
touched your hand before.

510
00:19:05,156 --> 00:19:06,597
It's so cold and papery.

511
00:19:06,666 --> 00:19:08,999
This Christmas, you will
have dinner with your family

512
00:19:09,068 --> 00:19:10,738
at our winter estate

513
00:19:10,937 --> 00:19:13,652
in Berkshirefordbriarshire-by-the-sea.

514
00:19:15,775 --> 00:19:17,641
- Hey, little buddy.
- Not now, Carol.

515
00:19:17,710 --> 00:19:20,044
Well, it has to be now,
Greg. I beefed the midterm,

516
00:19:20,112 --> 00:19:21,679
and I don't wanna stop working here,

517
00:19:21,747 --> 00:19:24,048
so I wonder if you can
just bend the rules a little

518
00:19:24,116 --> 00:19:25,936
and forget that it even happened.

519
00:19:26,953 --> 00:19:28,052
I'm sorry, Carol.

520
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,653
You can't work here anymore.

521
00:19:31,367 --> 00:19:33,557
No. What? Greg, give me a break.

522
00:19:33,626 --> 00:19:34,858
You can't fire her.

523
00:19:34,927 --> 00:19:37,413
She does so much for
everyone around here.

524
00:19:37,438 --> 00:19:40,439
She's the only one who went to
Justin's Chilean dance recital.

525
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,199
I liked it. I wouldn't go back.

526
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:45,202
And she got over her
initial fear of Wayne.

527
00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:47,953
What's that now? And
now they're best friends.

528
00:19:48,574 --> 00:19:49,800
Yes, we are.

529
00:19:50,263 --> 00:19:51,642
I thought I was your best friend.

530
00:19:51,711 --> 00:19:54,578
And she volunteered to
follow Portia's fiancé.

531
00:19:54,844 --> 00:19:56,814
To make sure that he
wasn't cheating on me.

532
00:19:56,882 --> 00:19:59,817
Oh, you wanted to know if
he wasn't cheating on you.

533
00:19:59,885 --> 00:20:00,985
Okay.

534
00:20:01,053 --> 00:20:02,295
But most of all,

535
00:20:02,755 --> 00:20:04,613
she has don't so much for me.

536
00:20:06,592 --> 00:20:09,148
She has made sacrifices
for my whole life.

537
00:20:09,795 --> 00:20:11,261
So if you wanna fire her,

538
00:20:11,330 --> 00:20:12,997
you're gonna have to fire me first.

539
00:20:13,065 --> 00:20:14,531
Oh, Katie, what a sweet...

540
00:20:14,556 --> 00:20:16,082
Okay, you're fired.

541
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,768
The old one can stay.

542
00:20:17,837 --> 00:20:20,004
- What?
- You got scooped on your story.

543
00:20:20,072 --> 00:20:22,100
All you do is mouth off.

544
00:20:25,210 --> 00:20:26,762
Greg, are you gonna say something?

545
00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:37,660
I'm sorry.

546
00:20:38,090 --> 00:20:39,289
You're fired.

547
00:20:42,995 --> 00:20:45,004
Come on, Mommy. Let's go.

548
00:20:45,297 --> 00:20:46,864
Hey, how many kidneys do you have?

549
00:20:46,932 --> 00:20:48,312
I never asked.

550
00:20:55,513 --> 00:20:57,274
Take these away and bury them.

551
00:20:57,343 --> 00:21:00,075
Then dig them back up and burn them.

552
00:21:05,938 --> 00:21:08,648
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com