1
00:00:02,789 --> 00:00:05,157
- Good morning, everyone.
- Happy Friday!

2
00:00:05,225 --> 00:00:07,592
Ugh! This meeting is taking forever.

3
00:00:07,661 --> 00:00:09,261
Yeah, get to the point, Greg.

4
00:00:09,329 --> 00:00:11,593
We didn't come here
to watch your one-man show.

5
00:00:11,625 --> 00:00:13,959
Okay, I get it. It's been a long week.

6
00:00:14,033 --> 00:00:16,133
A long, dark, snowy winter.

7
00:00:16,188 --> 00:00:17,887
But it's almost the weekend, isn't it?

8
00:00:17,956 --> 00:00:19,145
Maybe it'll be sunny.

9
00:00:19,724 --> 00:00:21,039
I can take my kite out.

10
00:00:21,675 --> 00:00:23,793
Okay! Who has segment pitches?

11
00:00:23,862 --> 00:00:25,361
It's gonna snow again this weekend.

12
00:00:25,430 --> 00:00:26,307
Shut up, bitch!

13
00:00:26,347 --> 00:00:27,613
Oh, my God!

14
00:00:28,409 --> 00:00:29,994
I'm so sorry. That is not your fault.

15
00:00:30,019 --> 00:00:31,785
Yeah. I don't control the weather.

16
00:00:31,854 --> 00:00:32,987
I mean, not yet.

17
00:00:33,055 --> 00:00:35,022
Good morning, everyone!

18
00:00:35,091 --> 00:00:37,157
Who wants lemon squares?

19
00:00:37,226 --> 00:00:38,238
Don't take one.

20
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:40,347
Her lemon squares are always a trap.

21
00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:43,508
Then you should have come
to staff karaoke last night.

22
00:00:46,167 --> 00:00:47,966
None of you showed up.

23
00:00:51,476 --> 00:00:53,476
♪ Squiggle, squiggle, circle ♪

24
00:00:53,545 --> 00:00:56,479
♪ Line thing that looks like a table ♪

25
00:00:57,813 --> 00:00:59,349
Can I pick the next song?

26
00:00:59,349 --> 00:01:00,468
No!

27
00:01:00,633 --> 00:01:02,400
Where were you guys?

28
00:01:02,468 --> 00:01:04,468
I'm sorry, Carol.
When you sent the e-vite,

29
00:01:04,537 --> 00:01:05,870
I thought it was a joke.

30
00:01:05,939 --> 00:01:07,605
I mean, because
why would I wanna hang out

31
00:01:07,674 --> 00:01:09,640
with these people?

32
00:01:11,510 --> 00:01:13,010
I don't think that's funny, Chuck.

33
00:01:13,072 --> 00:01:14,604
I thought we were all friends.

34
00:01:16,528 --> 00:01:18,195
We can't stand each other!

35
00:01:23,324 --> 00:01:25,324
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com

36
00:01:26,458 --> 00:01:29,455
You know the hardest part
about earning so much money?

37
00:01:29,637 --> 00:01:32,938
Not knowing if you'll be able
to spend it all before you die.

38
00:01:35,184 --> 00:01:36,783
Hi. Sir, did you wanna see me?

39
00:01:36,852 --> 00:01:38,085
Oh, yeah. I'm doing a piece

40
00:01:38,154 --> 00:01:39,854
on a new drug-resistant superbug.

41
00:01:39,922 --> 00:01:41,722
I want you to produce it.
You're doing a good job

42
00:01:41,790 --> 00:01:43,123
around here... I think you're up to it.

43
00:01:43,192 --> 00:01:45,826
Wait... for real? Thank you, sir.

44
00:01:45,894 --> 00:01:47,661
I have to call my
sixth grade English teacher

45
00:01:47,730 --> 00:01:49,503
and tell her she was wrong about me.

46
00:01:50,186 --> 00:01:51,785
Mrs. Alfieri?

47
00:01:51,853 --> 00:01:53,191
Oh, she died?

48
00:01:54,023 --> 00:01:55,366
Where's her grave?

49
00:01:56,874 --> 00:01:58,428
Hey, Greg, Greg!

50
00:01:59,210 --> 00:02:00,843
Can I talk to you about something?

51
00:02:00,911 --> 00:02:02,811
I'm not buying any more
of your candy bars, Carol.

52
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:04,813
I know it's a scam, and you're
not on a basketball team.

53
00:02:04,882 --> 00:02:06,288
It's about the staff.

54
00:02:06,312 --> 00:02:08,312
I wanna know why people
aren't friends around here.

55
00:02:08,382 --> 00:02:10,282
- It's a problem!
- Look, I'm sorry

56
00:02:10,350 --> 00:02:12,250
no one went to your karaoke party.

57
00:02:12,319 --> 00:02:13,952
It's not just about karaoke.

58
00:02:14,021 --> 00:02:16,081
It's people's bad 'tudes!

59
00:02:16,175 --> 00:02:18,375
It's really affecting the work... Look!

60
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:21,311
Nobody even showed up for staff photo!

61
00:02:21,379 --> 00:02:23,146
It's not normal, Greg.

62
00:02:23,214 --> 00:02:25,081
I talked to the intern
from "Morning Wined Up"

63
00:02:25,150 --> 00:02:27,717
and their staff hangs out all the time.

64
00:02:27,785 --> 00:02:29,685
You want us to be more
like "Morning Wined Up"

65
00:02:29,754 --> 00:02:31,053
with Kelly and Mary-Kelly.

66
00:02:31,122 --> 00:02:32,788
Okay, now I like this duvet.

67
00:02:32,857 --> 00:02:34,442
Put it in your cart!

68
00:02:34,537 --> 00:02:35,636
Put it in your cart!

69
00:02:37,278 --> 00:02:39,878
Mary-Kelly, you are the reason
the bank took my house.

70
00:02:39,908 --> 00:02:41,307
Ha ha ha! What am I saying?

71
00:02:41,376 --> 00:02:43,042
I don't have a house.
I don't need a duvet.

72
00:02:44,802 --> 00:02:47,803
I'm just saying if people
were friends around here,

73
00:02:47,828 --> 00:02:49,349
it would make work better.

74
00:02:49,418 --> 00:02:51,551
There'd be less fighting,
less complaining,

75
00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:53,753
less graffiti about you in the bathroom.

76
00:02:53,796 --> 00:02:54,704
Carol, leave me alone.

77
00:02:54,729 --> 00:02:56,393
I'm just trying to
make it to the weekend.

78
00:02:59,792 --> 00:03:01,492
Okay, here's the rundown.

79
00:03:01,562 --> 00:03:04,262
So I did some more research
on the superbug, and...

80
00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:06,163
You know what? Why don't you swing by

81
00:03:06,232 --> 00:03:08,314
my office after the show,
and we'll talk about it.

82
00:03:08,339 --> 00:03:09,245
Okay.

83
00:03:12,905 --> 00:03:15,406
What. Did a pen explode on my face again?

84
00:03:15,474 --> 00:03:16,974
You know what? I don't care.

85
00:03:17,043 --> 00:03:18,342
I'm not gonna stop chewing 'em.

86
00:03:18,411 --> 00:03:19,977
You're sleeping with Chuck.

87
00:03:20,047 --> 00:03:22,106
Wha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, my God!

88
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,456
I would never.

89
00:03:23,481 --> 00:03:24,513
My body is a temple,

90
00:03:24,583 --> 00:03:27,684
and by that I mean I let
a lotta Jewish guys in.

91
00:03:28,106 --> 00:03:30,707
But seriously, though, Chuck
asked me to produce a piece

92
00:03:30,767 --> 00:03:33,168
because, you know, he thinks
I'm doing a good job.

93
00:03:33,193 --> 00:03:34,578
He sees something in me.

94
00:03:34,622 --> 00:03:36,204
Yeah. Himself.

95
00:03:36,565 --> 00:03:37,931
- All right...
- Not to generalize,

96
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,766
but in the history of all time,

97
00:03:39,835 --> 00:03:41,268
a man has never helped a woman...

98
00:03:41,336 --> 00:03:43,003
not without an ulterior motive.

99
00:03:43,071 --> 00:03:44,471
What are you talking about?

100
00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:46,439
Men have helped women plenty of times.

101
00:03:46,508 --> 00:03:48,000
They, um...

102
00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:49,498
in...

103
00:03:50,586 --> 00:03:52,187
Beast helps Belle.

104
00:03:52,681 --> 00:03:54,314
Although, I guess he's a beast,

105
00:03:54,383 --> 00:03:56,747
and he did wanna have sex with her.

106
00:04:04,059 --> 00:04:05,192
Carol.

107
00:04:08,263 --> 00:04:10,330
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

108
00:04:10,596 --> 00:04:11,822
What do you think you're doing?

109
00:04:12,221 --> 00:04:14,783
Getting the gang together
like you told me to.

110
00:04:15,086 --> 00:04:17,111
Everybody, please collect your chairs.

111
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:18,740
This was a fake meeting

112
00:04:18,810 --> 00:04:20,877
called by a well-meaning dementoid.

113
00:04:20,944 --> 00:04:22,477
- Great.
- Ridiculous.

114
00:04:22,546 --> 00:04:24,577
Dude, that's my chair. What're you doing?

115
00:04:24,602 --> 00:04:26,968
Yeah, right. You're just trying
to make me take your broken one.

116
00:04:26,968 --> 00:04:28,452
There's nothing wrong with that chair.

117
00:04:28,481 --> 00:04:29,714
It ain't broke!

118
00:04:32,468 --> 00:04:34,574
Hey, everybody, Gene broke my chair!

119
00:04:34,643 --> 00:04:36,042
- Get him!
- It's okay, it's okay!

120
00:04:36,111 --> 00:04:38,184
I'll buy everyone new chairs.

121
00:04:39,002 --> 00:04:40,079
Come on, chair.

122
00:04:40,148 --> 00:04:41,781
Do you see what I'm dealing with here?

123
00:04:41,850 --> 00:04:43,416
This place is a tinderbox

124
00:04:43,485 --> 00:04:45,318
waiting for the smallest spark
to explode.

125
00:04:45,387 --> 00:04:46,853
We do not need more time together.

126
00:04:46,922 --> 00:04:49,155
We need to get through
the show and go home.

127
00:04:49,224 --> 00:04:50,890
- I...
- No! No.

128
00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:52,592
Stop trying to make this happen, Carol.

129
00:04:52,661 --> 00:04:54,561
Stop! No.

130
00:04:54,915 --> 00:04:56,824
There's nothing you can do.

131
00:04:57,165 --> 00:04:58,231
Nothing.

132
00:05:04,973 --> 00:05:07,018
Stop walking with a fake limp.

133
00:05:07,976 --> 00:05:09,789
Hey, God, it's Carol.

134
00:05:09,821 --> 00:05:12,722
I just want my coworkers to be friends.

135
00:05:12,791 --> 00:05:15,625
I don't know if your powers
extend to other religions,

136
00:05:15,694 --> 00:05:17,260
but if they do, please include Gene

137
00:05:17,329 --> 00:05:20,263
and the very nice Turban Guy
in accounting.

138
00:05:20,743 --> 00:05:21,831
Amen.

139
00:05:29,617 --> 00:05:32,281
Tune in next week for my two-part expose:

140
00:05:32,531 --> 00:05:34,264
"Are shoelaces getting shorter?"

141
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:36,266
Hey, men have helped women, right?

142
00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:37,668
Like in the history of the world?

143
00:05:37,736 --> 00:05:39,784
What? Yes. Of course.

144
00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:42,854
But women they didn't
wanna have sex with, though?

145
00:05:42,924 --> 00:05:45,658
Ooh, well, like Mr. Miyagi
when the Karate Kid was a girl.

146
00:05:45,726 --> 00:05:47,425
But I guess technically
she was a kid, so...

147
00:05:47,494 --> 00:05:48,566
You do know I'm currently producing

148
00:05:48,629 --> 00:05:49,902
- a live news show.
- Mm-hmm.

149
00:05:49,934 --> 00:05:51,834
And that's our show
for our local viewers.

150
00:05:51,903 --> 00:05:54,996
Enjoy the light dusting
of snow this weekend.

151
00:05:55,099 --> 00:05:56,469
Have fun out there.

152
00:05:56,535 --> 00:05:58,480
- What?
- Light dusting?

153
00:05:59,274 --> 00:06:00,816
What the hell's going on in here?

154
00:06:00,816 --> 00:06:02,749
We now go to Washington
for a special report.

155
00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:06,359
14 dead tonight
in the blizzard of the century.

156
00:06:06,404 --> 00:06:08,288
Keep New York in your prayers.

157
00:06:09,187 --> 00:06:10,437
And I guess New Jersey.

158
00:06:10,584 --> 00:06:13,087
Wait, wait... what happened
to the light dusting?

159
00:06:13,127 --> 00:06:14,293
Like it says on my tramp stamp...

160
00:06:14,361 --> 00:06:15,494
Weather changes.

161
00:06:15,563 --> 00:06:17,162
In the last hour, it got upgraded

162
00:06:17,231 --> 00:06:19,831
to a snowmageddon
of the century on steroids.

163
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:20,999
Why didn't you warn us?

164
00:06:21,068 --> 00:06:23,453
I did! I sent a memo up here.

165
00:06:24,071 --> 00:06:25,871
Of course. It must have gotten stuck,

166
00:06:25,940 --> 00:06:27,606
because the printer is always jammed

167
00:06:27,675 --> 00:06:30,008
with Justin's short stories.

168
00:06:30,077 --> 00:06:32,678
- "Murder at the Spooky Barn"?
- Gimme that.

169
00:06:32,746 --> 00:06:34,112
If you wanna read it,
you're gonna have to

170
00:06:34,181 --> 00:06:35,747
pay 12 cents on Amazon
like everybody else.

171
00:06:35,816 --> 00:06:36,815
Mm!

172
00:06:36,884 --> 00:06:38,617
- Oh!
- Oh!

173
00:06:38,686 --> 00:06:40,052
Well, it doesn't matter, does it?

174
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,720
Because we made it through the show.

175
00:06:41,789 --> 00:06:43,422
Now we can all just go home

176
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,123
and hop in the tub with our cat.

177
00:06:45,192 --> 00:06:47,659
Oh, my God, you gotta
cool it with that cat stuff.

178
00:06:47,728 --> 00:06:49,749
Okay. Fine. I won't
invite you to her birthday.

179
00:06:50,165 --> 00:06:51,298
Hey, you guys.

180
00:06:51,330 --> 00:06:52,828
The Governor of New Jersey

181
00:06:52,828 --> 00:06:54,646
is declaring a state of emergency.

182
00:06:54,756 --> 00:06:56,350
All roads are closed.

183
00:06:56,771 --> 00:06:58,044
We're stuck here together.

184
00:06:59,212 --> 00:07:00,494
Good God.

185
00:07:00,562 --> 00:07:02,372
We're stuck here together!

186
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:04,616
Good, God!

187
00:07:06,347 --> 00:07:08,380
Yes, sir, I'm so sorry for the mishap.

188
00:07:08,705 --> 00:07:10,282
Everything here is under control.

189
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:12,251
Yes, I love you too.

190
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:15,124
Oh, you were talking
to your daughter... right. Ahh.

191
00:07:15,456 --> 00:07:18,190
Okay. I know no one
wants to be stuck here,

192
00:07:18,259 --> 00:07:22,094
but God and I felt that we could
all use a little bonding time.

193
00:07:22,163 --> 00:07:24,930
So why don't we have an icebreaker?

194
00:07:24,999 --> 00:07:26,231
Two truths and a lie.

195
00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:28,167
I'll go first. Um...

196
00:07:28,235 --> 00:07:30,002
I had 30 moles removed.

197
00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:31,837
I had my thyroid removed.

198
00:07:31,906 --> 00:07:33,372
I had my uterus removed.

199
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,941
Wait... those are all true.
Okay, let me go again.

200
00:07:36,010 --> 00:07:38,210
I have a truth. I hate all of you.

201
00:07:38,279 --> 00:07:39,811
Oh, all right.

202
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,753
Well, you need two more.

203
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,088
Well, I have a truth too. Beth sucks.

204
00:07:44,162 --> 00:07:46,260
How 'bout next time you have
some urgent weather info,

205
00:07:46,286 --> 00:07:48,219
you walk up here and tell us?

206
00:07:48,244 --> 00:07:50,721
- Okay, still Gene's turn.
- You're telling me to walk?

207
00:07:50,790 --> 00:07:52,916
I once saw you pee
lying down.

208
00:07:53,074 --> 00:07:54,907
- No, you didn't.
- Yeah, I did.

209
00:07:54,976 --> 00:07:56,308
You do it literally all the time.

210
00:07:56,377 --> 00:07:58,077
Okay, let somebody else go. Wayne.

211
00:07:58,146 --> 00:08:01,080
I think everyone in here is
just doing their absolute best.

212
00:08:01,149 --> 00:08:02,481
Oh! Finally, something nice.

213
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:03,816
That was the lie.

214
00:08:08,690 --> 00:08:10,790
I told you
this would happen, Carol!

215
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,825
- You happy now?
- I'm very happy.

216
00:08:12,894 --> 00:08:15,227
And I'm not questioning my faith at all.

217
00:08:15,296 --> 00:08:17,096
No one taught me
how to pee the right way,

218
00:08:17,165 --> 00:08:18,549
because I didn't have a dad!

219
00:08:19,597 --> 00:08:21,233
Hey, Mr. Pierce, I have...

220
00:08:21,911 --> 00:08:22,814
Um...

221
00:08:24,806 --> 00:08:27,640
I have the... the research for the...

222
00:08:28,810 --> 00:08:30,345
What do you think of my look?

223
00:08:30,679 --> 00:08:33,226
I based it on a Michael Bublé
album cover.

224
00:08:33,715 --> 00:08:34,980
Pretty fresh, huh?

225
00:08:35,049 --> 00:08:37,047
Yeah, it's... it's... fine.

226
00:08:37,048 --> 00:08:39,109
I-I don't really know
that much about fashion.

227
00:08:39,134 --> 00:08:41,167
I got this at a Halloween store.

228
00:08:41,191 --> 00:08:43,819
It's actually supposed to
be Frankenstein's top.

229
00:08:44,271 --> 00:08:45,339
So...

230
00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:49,426
D-do you wanna talk about the story?

231
00:08:49,451 --> 00:08:51,160
Eh. We'll get to it.

232
00:08:57,802 --> 00:08:59,735
♪ Never seen you lookin' so lovely ♪

233
00:08:59,804 --> 00:09:01,737
♪ As you did tonight... ♪

234
00:09:01,989 --> 00:09:03,322
What do you think of this tune?

235
00:09:03,653 --> 00:09:05,797
It was playing when my dog died, but...

236
00:09:05,822 --> 00:09:07,613
I still think it's sexy.

237
00:09:08,513 --> 00:09:10,380
Oh, speaking of... Of dead dogs,

238
00:09:10,754 --> 00:09:12,360
it turns out the superbug
can spread through animals.

239
00:09:12,429 --> 00:09:13,895
Some people say it started

240
00:09:13,964 --> 00:09:15,891
when a bat flew into a dog's anus.

241
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:17,966
Tell me...

242
00:09:18,830 --> 00:09:21,904
if a guy like me were to ask a girl like you

243
00:09:21,972 --> 00:09:23,438
out on a date,

244
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,607
where would you wanna go?

245
00:09:26,796 --> 00:09:27,970
Oh, no.

246
00:09:28,453 --> 00:09:31,099
Ono's? Is that a Japanese place?

247
00:09:31,657 --> 00:09:32,734
Groovy.

248
00:09:33,454 --> 00:09:34,468
Katie?

249
00:09:34,871 --> 00:09:37,683
People in this office
are never gonna be friends.

250
00:09:38,408 --> 00:09:40,480
Oh, Lord, what do I do?

251
00:09:41,444 --> 00:09:42,624
Give me a sign.

252
00:09:59,529 --> 00:10:00,495
Ah...

253
00:10:00,563 --> 00:10:02,330
♪ Hallelujah ♪

254
00:10:02,399 --> 00:10:04,465
♪ Hallelujah ♪

255
00:10:04,534 --> 00:10:05,733
♪ Hallelujah... ♪

256
00:10:05,802 --> 00:10:07,201
Can't talk, Ang.

257
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:10,017
I'm in the middle of a miracle!

258
00:10:15,258 --> 00:10:17,158
Hey, attention! Hi!

259
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,127
Well, I know everyone's in a fight,

260
00:10:19,196 --> 00:10:21,396
and I know nobody
wants to hear from me...

261
00:10:21,473 --> 00:10:22,972
- Bitch!
- But I...

262
00:10:23,973 --> 00:10:26,894
I just thought I'd make
one final Hail Mary pass

263
00:10:27,013 --> 00:10:29,759
to get this chicken coop
cluckin' to the same tune.

264
00:10:31,105 --> 00:10:33,017
Oh, my God, she's got wine.

265
00:10:33,043 --> 00:10:34,977
I'll do anything for it.
I'll put on a sex show

266
00:10:35,045 --> 00:10:36,545
- with Gene!
- No need, Justin!

267
00:10:36,614 --> 00:10:38,213
There's plenty for everybody!

268
00:10:38,282 --> 00:10:40,082
This is the happiest moment of my life.

269
00:10:40,151 --> 00:10:42,417
Better than when I got off
that liver transplant list.

270
00:10:42,486 --> 00:10:43,886
No, no, no, no, no!

271
00:10:43,954 --> 00:10:45,147
No, no!

272
00:10:45,737 --> 00:10:47,270
- What is going on?
- Great news!

273
00:10:47,338 --> 00:10:48,682
I found wine!

274
00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,849
Carol, we can't get drunk in the office.

275
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:52,784
Turn down for what, Greg?

276
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:56,154
People need party time,
and you can't stop 'em.

277
00:10:56,687 --> 00:10:58,858
Don't you unscrew that bottle.

278
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,661
Don't you take that sip.

279
00:11:04,471 --> 00:11:06,471
Don't you swish it around your mouth.

280
00:11:08,375 --> 00:11:10,587
Don't you swallow it
and make a satisfied "ah" sound!

281
00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,143
Ah!

282
00:11:12,212 --> 00:11:13,845
- Yeah!
- Whoo!

283
00:11:13,913 --> 00:11:16,147
Carol! Carol!

284
00:11:16,216 --> 00:11:19,283
Carol, Carol, Carol!

285
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:22,220
Hey.

286
00:11:22,288 --> 00:11:23,521
Where have you been?

287
00:11:23,590 --> 00:11:25,356
I was just sexually harassed.

288
00:11:25,425 --> 00:11:27,458
Me too. I guess when Beth gets drunk,

289
00:11:27,527 --> 00:11:29,327
she likes to swipe her hand
down people's butt cracks

290
00:11:29,396 --> 00:11:30,928
like a credit card.

291
00:11:30,997 --> 00:11:32,897
No, I mean... you were right.

292
00:11:32,966 --> 00:11:34,766
About Chuck. He made a pass at me.

293
00:11:34,834 --> 00:11:37,769
I thought he was singling me out
because I was good at my job.

294
00:11:37,837 --> 00:11:40,430
Hey... don't let him steal your power.

295
00:11:40,602 --> 00:11:42,607
You are a strong, modern woman.

296
00:11:42,676 --> 00:11:44,542
You need to march
right into Chuck's office,

297
00:11:44,611 --> 00:11:46,393
grab that jerk by the collar,

298
00:11:46,931 --> 00:11:48,111
and kiss him on the lips.

299
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,866
- What?
- It's your only move.

300
00:11:50,935 --> 00:11:52,234
If you tell Chuck you're not interested,

301
00:11:52,303 --> 00:11:53,268
you'll embarrass him.

302
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:55,464
But if you kiss him
and then push him away

303
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,330
and be like, "I want this so bad,

304
00:11:57,398 --> 00:11:58,605
"but you're my boss.

305
00:11:58,605 --> 00:12:00,338
We could never be together, Mr. Roker,"

306
00:12:00,405 --> 00:12:01,838
then your problem's solved.

307
00:12:01,907 --> 00:12:04,374
But that doesn't sound
very modern or empowered.

308
00:12:04,443 --> 00:12:06,843
It is. It's like when phones got big

309
00:12:06,912 --> 00:12:09,012
and then small and then big again.

310
00:12:09,081 --> 00:12:11,009
Okay. No. No.

311
00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:13,450
I am never kissing Chuck Pierce.

312
00:12:13,519 --> 00:12:14,684
Well, you better think of something,

313
00:12:14,753 --> 00:12:16,253
because if Chuck feels rejected,

314
00:12:16,321 --> 00:12:17,788
he's not gonna want to work with you.

315
00:12:17,856 --> 00:12:19,523
He won't even be able
to look you in the eye.

316
00:12:19,591 --> 00:12:21,291
Oh, no, and then I'm gonna be stuck

317
00:12:21,361 --> 00:12:23,703
doing stupid fluff pieces
with Por... shh...

318
00:12:24,245 --> 00:12:26,213
I'm sorry... I couldn't
think of anything.

319
00:12:32,806 --> 00:12:34,372
Yoo-hoo!

320
00:12:34,439 --> 00:12:36,940
Greg, what are you doing moping in here?

321
00:12:37,009 --> 00:12:38,441
Come on out and have a little fun.

322
00:12:38,510 --> 00:12:39,827
I'm not moping.

323
00:12:39,828 --> 00:12:40,994
I'm about to get fired for all this,

324
00:12:41,062 --> 00:12:42,061
so I'm looking for a new job.

325
00:12:42,130 --> 00:12:43,262
Okay, you know what, mister?

326
00:12:43,331 --> 00:12:45,264
I am sick of your bad attitude!

327
00:12:45,333 --> 00:12:47,734
All you care about is running this office

328
00:12:47,802 --> 00:12:50,970
and following rules and making
sure we do a show every day.

329
00:12:51,039 --> 00:12:53,172
That is literally my job description.

330
00:12:53,241 --> 00:12:55,875
You're a grump, and it's trickled
down to your whole staff.

331
00:12:55,944 --> 00:12:57,677
Well, I'm sorry, Carol,
but when things go wrong

332
00:12:57,746 --> 00:12:59,283
around here, it falls on my shoulders

333
00:12:59,308 --> 00:13:01,075
and only my shoulders.

334
00:13:01,105 --> 00:13:03,222
You wouldn't understand.
You've never been a boss.

335
00:13:03,247 --> 00:13:04,154
No.

336
00:13:04,619 --> 00:13:05,852
But I've been a mom.

337
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,587
- Oh, God.
- People say

338
00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:10,757
that that is the hardest
job in the world.

339
00:13:11,141 --> 00:13:12,266
Ehhhh!

340
00:13:12,447 --> 00:13:14,447
They're wrong! It's fun!

341
00:13:14,539 --> 00:13:17,340
But that's because I made it that way.

342
00:13:17,385 --> 00:13:19,319
When Katie was in third grade,

343
00:13:19,387 --> 00:13:20,787
she used to beg to have ice cream

344
00:13:20,855 --> 00:13:22,057
every night for dinner.

345
00:13:22,082 --> 00:13:23,378
Typical fatty.

346
00:13:23,418 --> 00:13:26,419
But it was my job as her mom to say no.

347
00:13:26,488 --> 00:13:28,988
Until one day I said yes,
and you know why?

348
00:13:29,057 --> 00:13:30,790
No. My mother always
used to feed me ice cream

349
00:13:30,859 --> 00:13:32,392
so I wouldn't blow away.

350
00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:34,527
Because I wanted to have
ice cream for dinner.

351
00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:37,197
Cool twist, huh, Greg?

352
00:13:37,681 --> 00:13:40,386
You do a great job
at running this office.

353
00:13:40,411 --> 00:13:44,179
But sometimes... Mama needs a break too.

354
00:13:44,951 --> 00:13:46,815
Maybe I am the problem.

355
00:13:47,265 --> 00:13:48,617
I never have any fun.

356
00:13:49,236 --> 00:13:51,003
And it affects everyone around me.

357
00:13:51,255 --> 00:13:52,922
At work. At home.

358
00:13:53,501 --> 00:13:55,801
My cat won't even let me
sleep in bed with her anymore.

359
00:13:56,593 --> 00:13:57,759
You're right.

360
00:13:57,784 --> 00:13:59,750
Maybe Mama does need a break.

361
00:14:05,861 --> 00:14:07,579
Chuck, we need to talk.

362
00:14:07,604 --> 00:14:09,262
I know the real reason

363
00:14:09,331 --> 00:14:11,298
why you asked me
to do the superbug story.

364
00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:13,989
And honestly, you should
be ashamed of yourself.

365
00:14:14,105 --> 00:14:15,304
You figured it out, huh?

366
00:14:15,372 --> 00:14:16,872
I mean, what were you thinking?

367
00:14:16,941 --> 00:14:18,407
The age difference alone is...

368
00:14:18,476 --> 00:14:19,867
I know, I know!

369
00:14:20,311 --> 00:14:23,078
Of course someone your age
wouldn't be interested in me...

370
00:14:23,147 --> 00:14:25,848
a man old enough to remember
the "Challenger" explosion.

371
00:14:25,916 --> 00:14:28,150
Because, arguably, he caused it.

372
00:14:28,219 --> 00:14:29,904
I just feel like a fool!

373
00:14:30,541 --> 00:14:31,755
Well, I...

374
00:14:31,780 --> 00:14:34,114
I hope this isn't gonna
make things awkward.

375
00:14:35,144 --> 00:14:36,253
Not at all.

376
00:14:36,660 --> 00:14:38,323
Everything will be very...

377
00:14:38,587 --> 00:14:39,898
uh, normal.

378
00:14:40,722 --> 00:14:42,822
Oh, my God. You can't look me in the eye.

379
00:14:42,891 --> 00:14:45,149
Yes, I can. Doing it right now.

380
00:14:45,727 --> 00:14:47,137
Well, see ya later.

381
00:14:48,130 --> 00:14:49,363
Have you gone yet?

382
00:14:50,132 --> 00:14:51,699
I need to make this right.

383
00:14:56,471 --> 00:14:57,804
What the hell are you doing?

384
00:14:57,873 --> 00:14:59,572
What? I thought that was what you wanted.

385
00:14:59,641 --> 00:15:01,941
Well, you're way off! Good Lord, Katie!

386
00:15:02,010 --> 00:15:03,610
Keep it in your pants!

387
00:15:03,678 --> 00:15:06,346
But you asked me where
I wanted to go on a date!

388
00:15:06,415 --> 00:15:09,149
I was using you to research
what young people like.

389
00:15:09,217 --> 00:15:11,117
I'm trying to ask out this totally hot

390
00:15:11,186 --> 00:15:14,454
25-year-old smoothie maker at my gym.

391
00:15:14,817 --> 00:15:16,005
Cheyennica.

392
00:15:16,173 --> 00:15:17,314
Oh, my God.

393
00:15:17,756 --> 00:15:19,572
Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed.

394
00:15:19,704 --> 00:15:21,131
Well, you oughta be!

395
00:15:24,135 --> 00:15:25,401
♪ Turn down the woof ♪

396
00:15:28,573 --> 00:15:31,006
♪ Turn down the woof ♪

397
00:15:31,075 --> 00:15:32,475
- Mm, baby.
- Hey.

398
00:15:32,543 --> 00:15:34,944
Have you seen my mom?
I really need to talk to her.

399
00:15:35,012 --> 00:15:37,016
Ha. She is busy.

400
00:15:39,885 --> 00:15:41,818
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

401
00:15:45,723 --> 00:15:47,129
Is anyone sober?

402
00:15:47,358 --> 00:15:49,683
- Where's Greg?
- Oh, he's busy too.

403
00:15:50,795 --> 00:15:52,228
I wanna play American baseball!

404
00:15:52,856 --> 00:15:54,563
Someone throw a camera at me.

405
00:15:55,428 --> 00:15:56,999
Hey... hi, Greg.

406
00:15:57,068 --> 00:15:59,201
Hi. Are you okay?

407
00:15:59,270 --> 00:16:00,269
I'm amazing.

408
00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:01,904
You smell good. You wanna dance?

409
00:16:08,412 --> 00:16:09,569
"The Breakdown."

410
00:16:10,318 --> 00:16:12,385
Yes. Uh-huh.

411
00:16:12,455 --> 00:16:13,587
Mastercard, Visa!

412
00:16:13,656 --> 00:16:15,022
Cha-ching!

413
00:16:15,091 --> 00:16:16,846
Oh, you got it, chief.

414
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:19,627
Oh, crud.

415
00:16:19,695 --> 00:16:21,662
Hey, Greg.

416
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,664
- We have a little problem.
- Not now, Carol.

417
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,366
Let me finish impressing everyone.

418
00:16:25,434 --> 00:16:26,934
The network just called,

419
00:16:27,003 --> 00:16:28,302
and they want us to do
a special broadcast

420
00:16:28,371 --> 00:16:29,436
about the storm.

421
00:16:29,466 --> 00:16:30,536
Yeah, they do.

422
00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:31,808
'Cause we got the best news team

423
00:16:31,876 --> 00:16:33,443
in the biiiiiz!

424
00:16:35,984 --> 00:16:37,914
No, like in 20 minutes.

425
00:16:40,376 --> 00:16:43,205
Wait, wha... How? We're drunk!

426
00:16:43,230 --> 00:16:45,588
You know what, how drunk
can a person really be?

427
00:16:46,043 --> 00:16:48,772
- Good point, Carol!
- Everyone, follow me!

428
00:16:49,699 --> 00:16:50,760
Oh!

429
00:16:50,829 --> 00:16:53,927
Ooh...

430
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:59,047
How are we supposed to do the show?

431
00:16:59,209 --> 00:17:00,842
We're all wasted.

432
00:17:00,867 --> 00:17:02,788
Greg, you're being dramatic.

433
00:17:03,111 --> 00:17:04,890
Okay, this is frozen.

434
00:17:05,396 --> 00:17:06,629
I'm just gonna call the network

435
00:17:06,697 --> 00:17:07,730
and tell 'em we can't go on.

436
00:17:07,798 --> 00:17:09,364
If they fire me, they fire me.

437
00:17:09,433 --> 00:17:11,266
No. I'm the reason we're stuck here.

438
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,213
It's my job to predict the weather.

439
00:17:13,213 --> 00:17:14,445
But it's also my job to spin a sign

440
00:17:14,515 --> 00:17:17,149
in front of a cell phone
store every morning,

441
00:17:17,218 --> 00:17:19,284
and I guess I'm spread too thin.

442
00:17:19,353 --> 00:17:21,987
No, Beth, it's my fault.
I'll take the blame.

443
00:17:22,056 --> 00:17:23,522
We all should have known about that storm

444
00:17:23,591 --> 00:17:27,092
but... my stupid stories
jammed the printer.

445
00:17:27,161 --> 00:17:28,327
Don't call them stupid.

446
00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:30,195
I read "Murder at the Spooky Barn."

447
00:17:30,923 --> 00:17:33,315
It changed my life. I'll take the fall.

448
00:17:33,316 --> 00:17:35,685
No, Gene. You need this job.

449
00:17:36,073 --> 00:17:38,018
I mean, you got four beautiful kids.

450
00:17:38,086 --> 00:17:41,121
And Billy's hormone therapy
is not gonna pay for itself.

451
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,390
He is only 7 inches tall.

452
00:17:43,894 --> 00:17:45,459
That is not tall enough.

453
00:17:46,092 --> 00:17:47,293
I'll take the blame.

454
00:17:47,362 --> 00:17:49,796
No, no! It should be me.

455
00:17:49,865 --> 00:17:51,297
I found the wine.

456
00:17:51,366 --> 00:17:53,933
I got God to make it snow.

457
00:17:54,002 --> 00:17:56,503
Plus, I got the call from
the network three hours earlier

458
00:17:56,571 --> 00:17:58,505
when they first wanted us
to do the story,

459
00:17:58,573 --> 00:18:01,274
but I forgot to tell anyone.

460
00:18:03,607 --> 00:18:04,945
Yeah. It should be Carol.

461
00:18:04,999 --> 00:18:06,446
Yeah.

462
00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:08,587
Wait, guys, guys.

463
00:18:08,648 --> 00:18:11,117
Mom. You just wanted us
all to be friends.

464
00:18:11,186 --> 00:18:13,987
And for reasons I don't wanna get into,

465
00:18:14,056 --> 00:18:16,356
I'm too embarrassed to work here anymore.

466
00:18:16,425 --> 00:18:18,224
So just let me take the blame.

467
00:18:18,293 --> 00:18:19,893
Katie, I'm not gonna let that happen.

468
00:18:19,961 --> 00:18:21,194
You belong right here.

469
00:18:21,263 --> 00:18:22,529
You're a damn good producer.

470
00:18:22,597 --> 00:18:24,297
- Really?
- Yeah, and I'm not just

471
00:18:24,366 --> 00:18:25,532
saying that 'cause
you're in love with me.

472
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,133
She tried to kiss me, everybody.

473
00:18:27,202 --> 00:18:28,910
Hey, hey, hey!

474
00:18:28,961 --> 00:18:30,870
Do not judge her.

475
00:18:30,939 --> 00:18:33,741
Everybody in this room
has thought about it.

476
00:18:33,807 --> 00:18:35,874
She just had the balls to do it!

477
00:18:36,945 --> 00:18:38,288
I will take the blame.

478
00:18:40,548 --> 00:18:42,715
What if no one has to take the blame?

479
00:18:43,219 --> 00:18:45,785
Hmm? If we all work together,

480
00:18:45,854 --> 00:18:47,287
maybe we can pull this off.

481
00:18:49,291 --> 00:18:50,490
What does everyone say?

482
00:18:51,571 --> 00:18:52,625
Yeah.

483
00:18:52,694 --> 00:18:53,726
- Yes.
- Yeah!

484
00:18:53,795 --> 00:18:54,961
- Sure.
- Okay!

485
00:18:55,030 --> 00:18:56,633
Let's make a news show!

486
00:19:01,703 --> 00:19:04,070
♪ Everyone's watchin' ♪

487
00:19:04,139 --> 00:19:06,529
♪ Will you come out tonight ♪

488
00:19:07,999 --> 00:19:10,867
♪ Everyone's trying to get it right ♪

489
00:19:11,529 --> 00:19:13,943
♪ Get it right ♪

490
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:18,508
♪ Everybody's workin' for the weekend ♪

491
00:19:18,576 --> 00:19:20,276
♪ Whoo ♪

492
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,911
♪ Everybody wants a new romance ♪

493
00:19:23,980 --> 00:19:25,579
♪ Oh ♪

494
00:19:25,648 --> 00:19:28,405
♪ You want a piece of my heart ♪

495
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,951
♪ Come on, baby, let's go ♪

496
00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:35,399
Okay, guys, here goes nothing.

497
00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:38,236
It's a special edition of "The Breakdown"

498
00:19:38,304 --> 00:19:40,004
with your host Chimp Please

499
00:19:40,073 --> 00:19:42,006
and Renee Renee Renee.

500
00:19:42,465 --> 00:19:43,508
Close enough.

501
00:19:46,031 --> 00:19:47,045
Hold the elevator!

502
00:19:48,007 --> 00:19:49,586
- Hi.
- Hi.

503
00:19:50,905 --> 00:19:52,409
So you tried to kiss Chuck.

504
00:19:52,434 --> 00:19:54,849
Oh God, it was so stupid. I-I...

505
00:19:54,873 --> 00:19:56,085
- I don't know.
- Don't worry.

506
00:19:56,109 --> 00:19:58,109
That's not even the weirdest thing
that happened last night.

507
00:19:58,133 --> 00:20:01,099
Gene and Justin did ultimately
put on a sex show.

508
00:20:02,579 --> 00:20:04,018
It was Portia's idea

509
00:20:04,018 --> 00:20:05,504
to... kiss Chuck.

510
00:20:05,527 --> 00:20:07,293
I should never listen to her.

511
00:20:07,929 --> 00:20:09,687
Although, you know,
she may have been right

512
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:12,510
about one thing.
I still cannot think of a time

513
00:20:12,535 --> 00:20:14,535
that a man helped a woman
he wasn't attracted to.

514
00:20:15,191 --> 00:20:16,585
I mean, Schindler?

515
00:20:16,939 --> 00:20:18,609
It was  a really long list.

516
00:20:18,633 --> 00:20:20,633
He couldn't have wanted to sleep
with all of them.

517
00:20:20,657 --> 00:20:22,657
Portia's insane. What about you and me?

518
00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:24,335
- I help you all the time.
- Yes!

519
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:25,634
And you're not attracted to me.

520
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:26,836
No!

521
00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,132
I mean, you know, you're very...

522
00:20:29,156 --> 00:20:31,156
- I didn't take...
- Everything's symmetrical...

523
00:20:31,180 --> 00:20:32,608
- I didn't need you...
- in the head zone.

524
00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:33,756
Thank you.

525
00:20:38,615 --> 00:20:40,615
I'm just gonna check my phone.

526
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:42,120
Yeah, it's really buzzin' in there.

527
00:20:42,144 --> 00:20:44,359
Oh man, I have so many texts from my cat.

528
00:20:44,382 --> 00:20:46,119
Yeah. Wait. What?

529
00:20:46,557 --> 00:20:48,015
My girlfriend, Cat.

530
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,040
Catherine. I've mentioned her. My Cat.

531
00:20:50,064 --> 00:20:52,064
Oh your...your girlfriend.

532
00:20:52,088 --> 00:20:55,238
That's why you had to go
to your Cat's sister's wedding.

533
00:20:57,522 --> 00:20:58,968
You need help getting to your car?

534
00:20:58,993 --> 00:21:00,489
No. I'm good.

535
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,375
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com