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Previously on Girlfriends'
Guide to Divorce...

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Some of us like our husbands.

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We want to know if there's
a problem, so we can fix it.

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What kind of junior-high, mommy-mafia,

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anti-feminist bullshit is this?

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We learn to evaluate the risks.

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Evaluate your risks with me.

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Plane leaves Friday night.

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SORRY CAN'T MAKE IT.
GO WITHOUT ME...

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You remember when you kissed me that time?

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You reminded me that, uh,
I actually do like pleasure.

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I only want to see you.

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Does that make you my boyfriend?

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No matter what happens, we're family.

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RULE #92 - DON'T DO THE CRIME
IF YOU CAN'T DO THE TIME

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My God.

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What is happening down here?

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Hey, Fabs. Don't worry,

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I'm getting all this
stuff out of here today.

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Every time I come down here
this crap has metastasized.

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Okay, it's messy, but it's not cancer.

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And it's for a good cause. Remember that.

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I give them, like, $8
million a year in tuition.

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Why do they still need
to have fund-raisers?

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And nobody wants to go to those things.

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You cannot have my copy of Thrive.

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- Why not?
- This is my Arianna swag.

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And she signed it to me, by the way.

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So get another one.

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We all know you're BFFs with Miss HuffPost.

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Hello?

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Who donated the tepee?

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Oh, okay, bongos included,
his kid's in kinder...

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McConaughey!

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How is this being a good friend?

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How are you on the fund-raising committee

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after those Heathers ran me out of there?

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Look, my baby doesn't
make friends that fast.

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You know, the blazer,
the big words, it just...

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it confuses most kids.

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And she's taken the
second-family news hard.

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I just figure I work the new besties,

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then maybe she gets
invited to a party or two.

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She needs a distraction
from all the daddy drama.

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Whoa, a tepee!

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Go get it. Watch your butt.

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- Watch your butt.
- Oh, my God.

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Look at the hamburger phone.
It's like the one from Juno.

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It is the one from Juno, my love.

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Care of Mr. Jason Reitman.

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Mom, you have to get on this.

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You never come home with anything good.

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Starting bid... $1,000.

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Bye-bye, hamburger phone.

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You know what?

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I'm gonna take you to In-N-Out Burger.

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You can pretend to call
your friends with it tonight.

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Okay, you guys, grab something.

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We're gonna load the car.

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"We" are?

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It's over-privileged children.

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Have a heart.

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I peed in the tepee!

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I peed in the tepee!

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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
- www.addic7ed.com -

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Mm. Can't we just play hooky all day?

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I don't want to get out of bed.

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Yeah, I know. The sheets are so soft.

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Oh, is that what you like
about my bed, is the sheets?

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No, I think it's also a good mattress.

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You're so mean.

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I don't want to talk to you anymore.

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You know there's nothing I'd
rather do with you than...

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Mess up these sheets all
day, but I got to go to work.

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- No. No.
- Yep, I do.

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Let's pick this up on Friday.

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No. No, I can't Friday.

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What you got to do on Friday?

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I am gonna be sipping warm Chardonnay

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at the school funder,

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at the ridiculous singles' table...

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unless you want to come with me.

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A fund-raiser for the children of the 1%?

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Let me count the ways
I don't want to do that.

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But it's gonna be fun. It's a theme party.

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- Yeah?
- Orange is the New Black.

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You get to dress as your
favorite good or bad guy,

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depending on what side
of the law you're on.

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Only white people think
partying in a prison jumpsuit

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is a good time.

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Honestly, you will be saving me

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from drunken passes made
by sad, divorced dads.

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I might have to think about it.

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Oh, yeah? Just because of my ass?

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Yeah.

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All right.

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I got it. I got it. I got it.

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All right, all right, all right.

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Okay.

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- Well, I'm plus-one.
- What?

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Marco's coming.

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- Oh, that's great.
- Yep.

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Mm-hmm.

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Maybe he and Will can have a rematch

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over American exceptionalism.

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Wow. Will's coming?

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- Yeah, he's my boyfriend.
- Okay.

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Okay, sex-havers, don't rub it in.

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Sorry.

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Um, we're going as Bonnie and Clyde...

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His idea because Bonnie was also a writer.

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He sent me some of her poems.

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- Ugh.
- Very romantic.

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Okay, if you don't stop,
I'm gonna punch your face in.

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What does this smell like?

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That is tepee pee-pee.

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- Don't ask. Just...
- What?

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Take the other thing. Don't ask.

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Keep going, Abby.

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- Where am I going?
- Here we go. Here we go.

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Wow, Jo.

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Could you be more awesome?

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Mm. Christmas came early.

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Abby, nice of you to pitch in.

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You're so welcome.

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Ugh.

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Kori, hey.

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Hey.

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Glad you could make it.

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Oh, my God.

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Abby, can we go?

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Phoebe.

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Hi.

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It has been a long time.

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Yeah.

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Um...

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Abby McCarthy, this is Kori Wingo.

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Kori Wingo, the photographer.
Oh, my God, I love your work.

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I'm a big fan.

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I didn't know you guys knew each other.

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Kori offered one of her
photographs for the auction.

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Wow.

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So you have children?

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No, my partner Liv's got
a little guy, Desi... seven.

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Is he in Ms. Sorenson's class?

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'Cause she's great.

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No, he just started kindergarten.

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Who would have thought we would
be parents together at a school?

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- I'm gonna go.
- Okay.

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- We'll talk later, okay?
- Okay.

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It was nice to meet you.

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Yeah.

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Okay, so fast... fast as
you can, free association.

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What is your favorite subject?

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Math.

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What is your favorite activity?

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Farts.

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Who is your favorite teacher?

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Wait. Don't answer that.

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That could hurt your
career here, long-term.

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I don't have a career.

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You better get a career.

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What are you, like, in
second grade, you slacker?

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Okay, we got it. Thank you.

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Thank you guys. All of you.

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That was hilarious, Jake.

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Should we do the teachers at lunch?

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I don't like how that
sounds, but, yes, let's.

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Okay, good idea.

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You look spiffy.

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Thanks.

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What are you doing, a segment
on Yo Gabba Gabba! news?

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I am directing the video
for this year's fund-raiser.

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Wow. That's amazing.

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Who did it last year?

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What's his name? Bob Af... Affman?

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- Oh.
- Ben Affleck.

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- Oh, Ben Affleck.
- Yeah, that's who it is.

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Of course. So hard to remember that name.

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It's just a five-minute little thing.

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- It's not a big deal.
- Come on.

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- Well, it's great.
- Thanks.

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Except I won't have anyone
to make fun of the video with.

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That was our favorite
part of the fund-raiser.

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Oh, I know. Me too.

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Well, you can do it with Will.

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I mean, is he back from Nepal,

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exploiting Sherpas for new material or...?

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Uh, yes, Will will be here.

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Thank you for asking. Did you ask?

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- Did I?
- I don't know.

192
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I don't think I did.

193
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What about you? Are you going stag?

194
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Or are you taking Aja?

195
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Hey, Jake?

196
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Hey.

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00:06:51,145 --> 00:06:52,895
Ms. Sorenson and Mr. Hunter
are ready for their interviews.

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I'll be in in a sec.

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We're not gonna let it get ugly again.

200
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Agreed.

201
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- We will work it out, right?
- Yeah.

202
00:07:01,405 --> 00:07:02,655
- We always do, yeah?
- Yeah.

203
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Yeah.

204
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What?

205
00:07:04,775 --> 00:07:06,109
Come on.

206
00:07:07,278 --> 00:07:08,558
First time we've ever high-fived.

207
00:07:08,612 --> 00:07:10,663
Sorry.

208
00:07:12,783 --> 00:07:16,452
I am so sorry I am tardy.

209
00:07:16,587 --> 00:07:18,037
Was it a shopping emergency?

210
00:07:18,122 --> 00:07:21,291
Yeah, I needed a little retail
therapy to calm my nerves.

211
00:07:21,425 --> 00:07:23,259
Are you stress-shopping about Beech?

212
00:07:23,377 --> 00:07:26,679
No, these are options
for my partnership review.

213
00:07:26,797 --> 00:07:27,880
Oh, right.

214
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Beech is the last thing on my mind.

215
00:07:29,133 --> 00:07:30,183
I'm a queen of the clean break.

216
00:07:31,302 --> 00:07:32,302
Which brings me to our business...

217
00:07:32,436 --> 00:07:33,636
Tomorrow's meeting.

218
00:07:33,804 --> 00:07:35,471
Okay. Rolling with the subject change.

219
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:38,474
It is the biggie...
Final division of assets.

220
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:39,525
Once that's settled, we write it,

221
00:07:39,643 --> 00:07:40,526
you sign it...

222
00:07:40,644 --> 00:07:41,811
Divorce is done.

223
00:07:41,945 --> 00:07:43,313
Well, Jake and I are in a
really great place right now,

224
00:07:43,447 --> 00:07:45,031
so I think it's gonna be a smooth sail.

225
00:07:45,149 --> 00:07:46,783
I wanted to talk to you
about changing some terms.

226
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,151
What terms?

227
00:07:48,285 --> 00:07:50,445
Well, Jake is working now,
so the equation has changed.

228
00:07:50,487 --> 00:07:52,205
We'll still split assets 50-50.

229
00:07:52,323 --> 00:07:54,824
But alimony, it's up for grabs now.

230
00:07:54,992 --> 00:07:56,626
But, uh...

231
00:07:56,744 --> 00:07:59,212
that's not what we agreed upon.

232
00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:00,747
I mean, uh...

233
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:01,881
he'll go ballistic.

234
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:06,135
Honey, Jake is a grown man with a job.

235
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:09,005
You have no idea how those
alimony payments weigh on you.

236
00:08:09,173 --> 00:08:10,757
No, I do, every day,

237
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:13,509
like an 800-pound gorilla
sitting on my chest,

238
00:08:13,644 --> 00:08:15,511
but, um...

239
00:08:15,646 --> 00:08:17,597
I made a promise,

240
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:20,183
and I-I don't... I just don't
want to to fight anymore.

241
00:08:20,317 --> 00:08:21,818
You feel that way right now.

242
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,353
But think about a year from now,

243
00:08:23,487 --> 00:08:25,738
when Jake's off shooting some hot new show,

244
00:08:25,856 --> 00:08:27,357
raking in the network cash,

245
00:08:27,441 --> 00:08:29,525
buying love with fancy gifts for his kids

246
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,027
and the new kid he's dating,

247
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,911
and you're still paying
that 10 grand a month.

248
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,364
He's just getting back on his feet.

249
00:08:34,498 --> 00:08:35,948
Yeah, well, so are you.

250
00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:37,367
And you will sweat every paycheck

251
00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:39,252
because you'll be strapped,

252
00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:40,703
not to mention all
gray, rooty, and wrinkled

253
00:08:40,838 --> 00:08:41,871
because you can't afford maintenance.

254
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:42,955
Oh, wow.

255
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,708
Abby, it is fair and worth the fight.

256
00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:47,343
Now, this is the last battle.

257
00:08:47,428 --> 00:08:48,469
You got to prepare for it to get bloody.

258
00:08:56,692 --> 00:08:58,193
Oh, my God, that's disgusting.

259
00:08:58,277 --> 00:08:59,361
The heater in the dishwasher sucks.

260
00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:00,495
It left everything wet.

261
00:09:00,530 --> 00:09:02,030
Then use a towel.

262
00:09:02,165 --> 00:09:04,199
Here.

263
00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:05,450
Thank you.

264
00:09:05,585 --> 00:09:07,385
Mom, Taylor just invited
me to go to the Grove

265
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:09,621
with a bunch of girls when
you're at the fund-raiser.

266
00:09:09,755 --> 00:09:12,040
Can I maybe get off babysitting Charlie?

267
00:09:12,175 --> 00:09:13,875
I'll... I'll ask Rosa to watch him.

268
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,294
Maybe Zooey can come along?

269
00:09:16,429 --> 00:09:19,181
Yeah, well, I just...

270
00:09:19,298 --> 00:09:22,851
I don't know if she'd fit
in with the other girls

271
00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:25,770
Lilly.

272
00:09:25,805 --> 00:09:28,056
What?

273
00:09:28,224 --> 00:09:31,309
Come on, sweetie, let's...
Let's go fold some laundry.

274
00:09:31,394 --> 00:09:32,444
Come on.

275
00:09:33,729 --> 00:09:35,063
What just happened here?

276
00:09:35,198 --> 00:09:37,899
You two seemed to be getting
along so well at Thanksgiving.

277
00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:40,035
That doesn't mean she's my friend.

278
00:09:40,169 --> 00:09:42,537
It's not my job to help her

279
00:09:42,655 --> 00:09:45,574
just 'cause her parents
are getting divorced.

280
00:09:45,708 --> 00:09:48,326
No one helped me.

281
00:09:48,411 --> 00:09:51,796
Honey.

282
00:09:51,914 --> 00:09:52,914
Okay, Zooey...

283
00:09:52,915 --> 00:09:56,218
Zooey is in a new state...

284
00:09:56,302 --> 00:09:57,586
at a new school.

285
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,421
The situation with her father is a mess.

286
00:09:59,505 --> 00:10:02,307
You care more about her feelings than mine.

287
00:10:02,425 --> 00:10:04,426
I see you guys talking, like, all the time.

288
00:10:04,510 --> 00:10:06,011
Because she talks to me.

289
00:10:06,095 --> 00:10:07,762
All I get from you are eye rolls.

290
00:10:07,897 --> 00:10:09,764
I'm sorry she's so perfect
and I'm such a nightmare.

291
00:10:09,849 --> 00:10:12,067
Hey, hey, hey. I never said that.

292
00:10:12,151 --> 00:10:13,435
Come on.

293
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,520
And you and Jo talk and laugh all the time.

294
00:10:15,655 --> 00:10:17,105
- She gets me.
- Good.

295
00:10:17,273 --> 00:10:20,108
Maybe it's not too late for
you guys to switch babies.

296
00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:24,992
DELIA BANAI
ATTORNEY

297
00:10:28,117 --> 00:10:29,117
Good time, bad time?

298
00:10:29,118 --> 00:10:30,418
Hey, come on in.

299
00:10:30,503 --> 00:10:33,371
I was just working on my "dare
to be great" memo for my review.

300
00:10:33,456 --> 00:10:35,006
God, that Cynthia Plum case...

301
00:10:35,124 --> 00:10:36,625
Remember when I found out
her husband was doing cocaine

302
00:10:36,709 --> 00:10:37,869
breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

303
00:10:37,927 --> 00:10:41,129
I carved out $500,000 for
misappropriation of funds.

304
00:10:41,264 --> 00:10:43,548
Oh, that was fun!

305
00:10:46,385 --> 00:10:47,852
Sorry, Albert.

306
00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:48,970
What's up?

307
00:10:48,971 --> 00:10:51,973
You and Beech.

308
00:10:52,141 --> 00:10:54,476
You ended on good terms, right?

309
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:56,778
Of course.

310
00:10:56,896 --> 00:10:59,016
He said he was bringing the
rest of his business to us

311
00:10:59,065 --> 00:11:01,066
once the new company was founded.

312
00:11:01,150 --> 00:11:04,286
But I just found out that
he's going with O'Melveny.

313
00:11:04,370 --> 00:11:05,654
He's switching firms?

314
00:11:05,788 --> 00:11:07,238
Yep.

315
00:11:07,323 --> 00:11:09,243
That's a multimillion-dollar
billing loss for us.

316
00:11:09,292 --> 00:11:11,960
God damn it.

317
00:11:12,044 --> 00:11:13,924
Albert, is this gonna
affect my bid for partner?

318
00:11:13,963 --> 00:11:15,130
With Beech in your book,

319
00:11:15,247 --> 00:11:17,087
you waltz into your
review looking like a hero.

320
00:11:17,166 --> 00:11:19,467
Without him, not so much.

321
00:11:19,552 --> 00:11:21,336
Shit.

322
00:11:21,470 --> 00:11:22,971
I'm gonna try for a Hail Mary.

323
00:11:23,089 --> 00:11:24,923
Beech has agreed to dinner tonight.

324
00:11:25,057 --> 00:11:26,675
You're coming with.

325
00:11:26,809 --> 00:11:30,011
Wear something devastating
and work your magic.

326
00:11:32,431 --> 00:11:35,100
You got it.

327
00:11:35,184 --> 00:11:37,102
I will devastate.

328
00:11:37,236 --> 00:11:38,603
Good.

329
00:11:45,828 --> 00:11:47,662
Oh, my...

330
00:11:47,780 --> 00:11:49,864
That looks incredible.

331
00:11:50,032 --> 00:11:52,334
I love how the lapels are skinny,

332
00:11:52,451 --> 00:11:54,786
but they're not rock-star skinny.

333
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,871
It's perfect.

334
00:11:56,956 --> 00:11:58,873
- It's very Dick Tracy.
- Ah.

335
00:11:59,008 --> 00:12:01,793
Now you just need a trench coat and a hat.

336
00:12:01,927 --> 00:12:03,461
What do you think?

337
00:12:06,882 --> 00:12:10,051
I think two grand is a lot of
bucks to spend on a costume.

338
00:12:10,186 --> 00:12:11,219
- It's not just for that.
- Wow.

339
00:12:11,303 --> 00:12:13,555
You need a good suit for investor meetings

340
00:12:13,723 --> 00:12:14,889
or if we go somewhere nice.

341
00:12:15,024 --> 00:12:18,026
Yeah, I'm more of a
Levi's, Hanes kind of guy.

342
00:12:18,144 --> 00:12:19,978
It's a gift, Marco.

343
00:12:20,112 --> 00:12:21,896
Let me get you a present.

344
00:12:21,981 --> 00:12:23,481
Why is it so important to you?

345
00:12:23,616 --> 00:12:26,317
- Who you trying to impress?
- No, I'm not.

346
00:12:26,402 --> 00:12:27,986
I'm not.

347
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:29,738
I just...

348
00:12:29,822 --> 00:12:31,239
- I have money.
- Mm.

349
00:12:31,374 --> 00:12:33,241
And I wanted to get you something nice.

350
00:12:33,376 --> 00:12:34,626
I've had nice things.

351
00:12:34,744 --> 00:12:37,128
I didn't just climb my way out of Compton.

352
00:12:37,246 --> 00:12:39,164
I know, I know, I know.

353
00:12:39,248 --> 00:12:40,248
My parents had good jobs.

354
00:12:40,332 --> 00:12:41,583
I grew up in Baldwin Hills.

355
00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:43,267
I know that's probably the ghetto to you.

356
00:12:43,419 --> 00:12:44,419
- No.
- But I assure you,

357
00:12:44,470 --> 00:12:46,171
there's, you know, paved sidewalks.

358
00:12:46,305 --> 00:12:47,305
I'm sorry.

359
00:12:47,390 --> 00:12:50,592
I was talking out of my ass.

360
00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:54,229
This is not gonna work if you don't see me.

361
00:12:54,346 --> 00:12:56,431
Does that mean you're
not gonna come with me?

362
00:12:56,515 --> 00:12:58,516
No, I am going to come
to your fund-raiser.

363
00:12:58,601 --> 00:13:02,103
I'll just wear my own clothes.

364
00:13:02,238 --> 00:13:04,773
I got to go to work.

365
00:13:04,907 --> 00:13:06,107
Clippers tickets

366
00:13:06,242 --> 00:13:07,942
and a Chris Paul autographed basketball...

367
00:13:08,077 --> 00:13:09,778
Nancy Hayes is the greatest mom ever.

368
00:13:09,945 --> 00:13:12,580
Ooh, is this the Soda
Stream Gloria Serrano said

369
00:13:12,698 --> 00:13:13,698
she was going to gift?

370
00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:15,033
Guilty.

371
00:13:15,167 --> 00:13:16,534
Right here.

372
00:13:16,669 --> 00:13:18,353
It's me.

373
00:13:18,454 --> 00:13:21,790
Gloria Serrano's only gift is
to anger people in two languages.

374
00:13:21,924 --> 00:13:23,625
That is so true. Do you
know that she called me

375
00:13:23,709 --> 00:13:26,127
a putana after cutting me off in carpool?

376
00:13:26,228 --> 00:13:27,762
Ugh. And that's not a pasta.

377
00:13:28,964 --> 00:13:30,381
I just, oh...

378
00:13:30,516 --> 00:13:32,383
I just wish one of these baskets

379
00:13:32,518 --> 00:13:34,469
had a babysitting gift certificate.

380
00:13:34,553 --> 00:13:36,805
I'm just... I'm so screwed
for the gala, you guys.

381
00:13:36,972 --> 00:13:40,358
But I guess Zooey could stay home alone.

382
00:13:40,476 --> 00:13:43,394
Well, Taylor's going with a
bunch of girls to the Grove.

383
00:13:43,529 --> 00:13:46,281
- Huh.
- Maybe Zooey wants to come.

384
00:13:46,398 --> 00:13:48,483
Yeah. Yeah, I'll check with her.

385
00:13:48,651 --> 00:13:50,318
I'm sure she'd love to. Thank you.

386
00:13:50,453 --> 00:13:51,653
That would be great.

387
00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:54,289
Hey, Jo, when are you
bringing that hamburger phone?

388
00:13:54,373 --> 00:13:56,124
That'll be a big-ticket item.

389
00:13:56,242 --> 00:13:58,209
What do you mean? I
brought everything I had.

390
00:13:58,327 --> 00:14:01,913
I'm checking the inventory,
and I don't see a phone.

391
00:14:01,997 --> 00:14:03,798
Is it possible you left it at home?

392
00:14:03,916 --> 00:14:05,300
No. No, I don't think so.

393
00:14:05,417 --> 00:14:06,918
But, um...

394
00:14:07,002 --> 00:14:09,387
Well, you should definitely check.

395
00:14:09,505 --> 00:14:12,307
Oh, yeah, of course, as soon as I get back.

396
00:14:12,391 --> 00:14:16,344
I know we're close to
done, but it is necessary

397
00:14:16,428 --> 00:14:18,513
that we address your client's
change in financial status

398
00:14:18,597 --> 00:14:19,731
since our initial filings.

399
00:14:19,849 --> 00:14:21,015
Now? You got to be kidding.

400
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:22,433
Artie, in the last four months,

401
00:14:22,518 --> 00:14:24,652
not only has Jake made
more money than he did

402
00:14:24,737 --> 00:14:26,020
for the life of the marriage,

403
00:14:26,105 --> 00:14:28,022
he is contracted for future directing work,

404
00:14:28,157 --> 00:14:30,909
which proves that he could have
contributed to the household,

405
00:14:31,026 --> 00:14:33,444
but he preferred to ride Abby's coattails.

406
00:14:33,579 --> 00:14:35,246
Oh, I never... That's not what I said.

407
00:14:35,364 --> 00:14:36,664
Here's what's on the table.

408
00:14:36,749 --> 00:14:39,501
Ms. McCarthy agrees to abide by
a 50-50 marital split of assets.

409
00:14:39,585 --> 00:14:43,004
We are asking for an absolution
of any and all alimony.

410
00:14:43,088 --> 00:14:44,368
Well, that's a total nonstarter.

411
00:14:44,456 --> 00:14:45,896
Look, my client's long-term stability

412
00:14:46,041 --> 00:14:46,875
has not been established. He has...

413
00:14:47,009 --> 00:14:48,209
You know what, Artie? Artie?

414
00:14:48,344 --> 00:14:49,761
You know what? Let it go.

415
00:14:49,879 --> 00:14:51,045
It's fine. Let it go.

416
00:14:52,264 --> 00:14:54,015
Look, I started making money.

417
00:14:54,133 --> 00:14:58,186
I'm taking half the marital
assets, which Abby earned.

418
00:14:58,270 --> 00:14:59,687
I think that's probably best for everyone.

419
00:14:59,772 --> 00:15:01,306
Well, that is really mensch-y of you, Jake.

420
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:03,775
Well, I'd just like to
sign it, put it behind us.

421
00:15:03,893 --> 00:15:05,193
No more acrimony.

422
00:15:05,277 --> 00:15:06,361
I think we deserve that.

423
00:15:06,445 --> 00:15:07,729
That is great.

424
00:15:07,813 --> 00:15:09,613
We will get that all
signed up and out to you.

425
00:15:09,698 --> 00:15:12,116
- Good.
- Oh, hold on.

426
00:15:12,234 --> 00:15:13,618
Um...

427
00:15:13,736 --> 00:15:16,738
Thank you, Jake, for being so
magnanimous about the money.

428
00:15:16,906 --> 00:15:19,824
But, uh, there's still things
that we need to work out.

429
00:15:19,909 --> 00:15:21,543
Such as?

430
00:15:21,627 --> 00:15:23,828
Such as... sleep-away camp.

431
00:15:23,913 --> 00:15:25,997
Okay, I don't have any notes on that, Abby.

432
00:15:26,131 --> 00:15:27,999
- We had this discussion.
- Yeah, we had this discussion.

433
00:15:28,083 --> 00:15:29,334
But it was never resolved.

434
00:15:29,468 --> 00:15:30,835
I don't want the kids
going away in the summer.

435
00:15:30,970 --> 00:15:32,420
It cuts into my
already-limited time with them.

436
00:15:32,504 --> 00:15:34,255
Well, that's a deal breaker for me.

437
00:15:34,390 --> 00:15:36,891
My... my experiences at
camp were very formative.

438
00:15:36,976 --> 00:15:38,977
- They made me who I am.
- Since when?

439
00:15:39,094 --> 00:15:40,261
So they have to go because it's the place

440
00:15:40,396 --> 00:15:41,716
where you learned to make lanyards

441
00:15:41,814 --> 00:15:43,314
and get finger-banged on the ski dock?

442
00:15:43,432 --> 00:15:44,682
That's crude.

443
00:15:44,817 --> 00:15:47,101
Sorry.

444
00:15:47,186 --> 00:15:49,437
How about they go to
sleep-away camp for four weeks?

445
00:15:49,521 --> 00:15:50,688
Camp Pontiac is eight weeks.

446
00:15:50,823 --> 00:15:51,823
Abby, this is insane.

447
00:15:51,857 --> 00:15:53,274
I'm giving you everything you want.

448
00:15:53,359 --> 00:15:54,859
Obviously not,

449
00:15:54,944 --> 00:15:56,384
because I want them to go to Pontiac.

450
00:15:56,445 --> 00:16:00,448
Okay, let's put a pin in
this discussion and regroup.

451
00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:02,784
Thank you, Delia.

452
00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:08,918
I went to Camp Pontiac for eight years.

453
00:16:09,003 --> 00:16:10,169
I was Color War General.

454
00:16:10,304 --> 00:16:12,839
Honey, this is not about sleep-away camp.

455
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:15,008
This is about separation anxiety, okay?

456
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:16,559
I know, I know.

457
00:16:16,677 --> 00:16:19,062
It gets really hard when
you finally get to the end.

458
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,179
But it's time.

459
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,848
Actually, Delia,

460
00:16:21,932 --> 00:16:23,850
camp is important.

461
00:16:23,934 --> 00:16:25,351
And I know maybe that's hard to understand

462
00:16:25,486 --> 00:16:28,688
when you don't have kids.

463
00:16:28,772 --> 00:16:30,023
Sorry. I...

464
00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:33,109
Abby, Jake was just
really generous in there.

465
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:35,411
And if you want to take
sleep-away camp to court,

466
00:16:35,529 --> 00:16:36,946
go for it.

467
00:16:37,081 --> 00:16:38,448
Just be prepared to
spend a shitload of money

468
00:16:38,532 --> 00:16:40,450
in legal fees...

469
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:42,118
and lose.

470
00:16:50,544 --> 00:16:52,595
Jo, what's happening?

471
00:16:52,713 --> 00:16:54,947
The frickin' hamburger phone disappeared,

472
00:16:55,049 --> 00:16:57,529
and now I have to face the wrath
of Cheryl and her bitch squad,

473
00:16:57,601 --> 00:16:59,452
not to mention Mr. freaking Reitman.

474
00:16:59,553 --> 00:17:01,471
Okay, calm down. I'm
sure it's here somewhere.

475
00:17:01,555 --> 00:17:02,955
Where was the last place you saw it?

476
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:04,390
I don't know. I don't know.

477
00:17:04,558 --> 00:17:05,942
She had a clipboard, and then
she said they didn't have it.

478
00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:08,227
And... and... it's got to be somewhere,

479
00:17:08,312 --> 00:17:10,480
but I looked everywhere.

480
00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:12,648
Mom, what if you went on eBay
and got another phone like that?

481
00:17:12,783 --> 00:17:14,400
- Nobody would know.
- No, we don't have time.

482
00:17:14,568 --> 00:17:16,648
Not that I would ever do
that. That's very dishonest.

483
00:17:16,737 --> 00:17:18,321
I just don't want you to stress.

484
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,085
And if they're supposed to be your friends,

485
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:21,824
they'll understand.

486
00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:23,659
You're right, you're right.
Mama's gonna pull it together.

487
00:17:23,794 --> 00:17:24,794
But on the upside,

488
00:17:24,912 --> 00:17:27,246
guess who got you an invite to the Grove

489
00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:28,414
with Taylor and her crew?

490
00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:29,716
- You did?
- Yeah.

491
00:17:29,833 --> 00:17:30,717
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

492
00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:31,801
Thanks, Mom.

493
00:17:31,835 --> 00:17:34,587
- Can I have a kiss?
- Yeah.

494
00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:37,640
How is it that you produced

495
00:17:37,758 --> 00:17:39,438
the most well-adjusted
child on the planet,

496
00:17:39,593 --> 00:17:41,427
and I produced Angsty McSullenstein?

497
00:17:41,512 --> 00:17:44,480
Because I'm the woman whose
husband has a second family.

498
00:17:44,598 --> 00:17:45,481
You see, the cosmic muffin

499
00:17:45,599 --> 00:17:46,899
gives you what it thinks you can handle.

500
00:17:47,017 --> 00:17:47,900
- "The cosmic muffin"?
- You see? Yes.

501
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:51,279
Are you looking for a
hamburger phone in a pillow?

502
00:17:53,903 --> 00:17:55,356
SORRY BABE, FLIGHT DELAYED. NOT GETTING OUTTA
HERE TIL TOMORROW. WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU!

503
00:17:55,025 --> 00:17:56,776
- Oh, no.
- What?

504
00:17:56,944 --> 00:17:59,829
- No.
- What? What? What? What? What?

505
00:17:59,947 --> 00:18:01,307
Will's plane got grounded in Nepal.

506
00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:03,116
He's never gonna make it back here in time.

507
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:06,119
How am I supposed to be
Bonnie and Clyde without Clyde?

508
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,504
I can't believe Will's not coming.

509
00:18:08,622 --> 00:18:10,339
Jake won't speak to me
because of that fight we had.

510
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,041
I have no cover from the "momsters."

511
00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:14,794
This is the universe telling
me that I should just stay home.

512
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,963
No, don't even. We are going, okay?

513
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:18,798
I already got a costume.

514
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,216
Plus, I'm the one who's gonna need cover

515
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:23,386
when I tell that woman that
I lost our $1,000 phone.

516
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:24,937
- Yes, yes, you will.
- Oh, my God.

517
00:18:25,055 --> 00:18:27,140
Okay, we will have each other's backs.

518
00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:28,808
All right.

519
00:18:31,395 --> 00:18:34,230
At our firm, we can offer
you close, personal attention.

520
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:35,948
I like personal attention.

521
00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:37,984
This is a pivotal moment
for Beech Enterprises.

522
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,952
You need a team who can
strategize for your future

523
00:18:40,070 --> 00:18:42,288
and play defense too.

524
00:18:42,406 --> 00:18:43,456
It's heads-up ball playing with us.

525
00:18:43,574 --> 00:18:45,958
I like heads-up ball playing.

526
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:47,493
Most men do.

527
00:18:47,661 --> 00:18:48,911
What we're really talking
about here, Gordon,

528
00:18:48,996 --> 00:18:50,129
are relationships.

529
00:18:50,214 --> 00:18:51,581
I'm assuming you're talking

530
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:53,800
about client-attorney relationships.

531
00:18:53,884 --> 00:18:56,552
And fostering them between clients.

532
00:18:56,670 --> 00:18:58,504
You know, we have an A-plus
entertainment division.

533
00:18:58,639 --> 00:19:00,556
That could mean an amazing
licensing opportunity

534
00:19:00,674 --> 00:19:01,808
with the right celebrity.

535
00:19:01,892 --> 00:19:03,259
What I'm not hearing from you guys

536
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:06,345
is why you have the special sauce.

537
00:19:06,430 --> 00:19:07,430
You know why.

538
00:19:07,481 --> 00:19:09,315
We are a leaner, meaner operation,

539
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:12,985
and we are always thinking of you...

540
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:15,988
which is how I saved you $10 million...

541
00:19:16,073 --> 00:19:18,274
By making your business dissolution

542
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:19,859
a property settlement.

543
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:22,528
Gordon, you got the
divorce zero-tax basis.

544
00:19:22,696 --> 00:19:25,031
Right.

545
00:19:25,199 --> 00:19:28,534
Zero-tax basis.

546
00:19:28,619 --> 00:19:30,253
Almost made it worth all the bullshit.

547
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,088
All we're saying, Gordon,

548
00:19:32,206 --> 00:19:33,589
is that you should take your time.

549
00:19:33,707 --> 00:19:36,042
- It's a big decision.
- I don't need any more time.

550
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:39,212
I can make a big decision
as quickly as the next gal.

551
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,047
I hear you say you want me to stay,

552
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:42,465
but I'm not feeling the passion.

553
00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:45,384
Gordon, there is a great deal
of passion for you at our firm.

554
00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:47,520
Isn't that right, Delia?

555
00:19:47,638 --> 00:19:50,106
Of course.

556
00:19:50,224 --> 00:19:54,110
Of course there is.

557
00:19:54,228 --> 00:19:56,646
Good effort, team. I'm not buying it.

558
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,981
Please have all my records
transferred over to O'Melveny

559
00:19:59,116 --> 00:20:00,116
in the morning.

560
00:20:00,234 --> 00:20:02,869
Thank you very much for dinner.

561
00:20:02,953 --> 00:20:05,404
Well, that was a goddamn shitshow.

562
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,460
- Here you are, sir.
- Thank you.

563
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,829
- You're welcome.
- Gordon?

564
00:20:15,332 --> 00:20:16,382
Why are you doing this?

565
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:18,134
I thought our meeting was over.

566
00:20:18,252 --> 00:20:21,387
I know that I didn't handle
things between us very...

567
00:20:21,505 --> 00:20:22,922
very elegantly,

568
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:26,893
but that doesn't mean that
we can't be professionals.

569
00:20:26,977 --> 00:20:29,061
Delia...

570
00:20:29,146 --> 00:20:30,813
you broke my goddamn heart.

571
00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:32,648
You expect me to sit here

572
00:20:32,766 --> 00:20:35,985
and listen to you talk about my tax basis?

573
00:20:36,103 --> 00:20:37,770
That was insensitive.

574
00:20:37,905 --> 00:20:39,438
What's happened to you?

575
00:20:39,573 --> 00:20:42,191
Look, I'm a divorce attorney, okay?

576
00:20:42,326 --> 00:20:43,659
I see it all the time.

577
00:20:43,777 --> 00:20:47,613
Love turns to contempt and
betrayal and abandonment.

578
00:20:47,698 --> 00:20:50,249
Sometimes.

579
00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:53,419
That's not the only story.

580
00:20:53,537 --> 00:20:55,838
It's the only story that I know.

581
00:20:57,791 --> 00:20:59,175
I can see that.

582
00:21:02,763 --> 00:21:04,847
So that's it for you, huh?

583
00:21:04,965 --> 00:21:06,716
You're a one-woman operation.

584
00:21:10,637 --> 00:21:12,438
That's a goddamn waste of life.

585
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:35,961
- That is awesome.
- Mm-hmm.

586
00:21:39,933 --> 00:21:41,100
How chivalrous of you.

587
00:21:41,218 --> 00:21:43,218
Hey, I know better than
to mess with an angry chick

588
00:21:43,220 --> 00:21:44,220
with a samurai sword.

589
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:49,392
Okay, um...

590
00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:51,894
I just want to make sure we're cool.

591
00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:53,396
You were right about the suit.

592
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,563
I should have talked to you

593
00:21:54,698 --> 00:21:56,232
before I spent that kind of money.

594
00:21:56,366 --> 00:21:58,567
You don't have to buy me presents.

595
00:21:58,702 --> 00:21:59,902
You're my windfall.

596
00:22:00,037 --> 00:22:04,373
It wasn't your background
I was trying to make up for.

597
00:22:04,458 --> 00:22:07,827
I am trailer trash, Marco.

598
00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:10,830
My parents grew weed, and
they moved around all the time,

599
00:22:10,914 --> 00:22:14,050
and they were more than
happy to ship me off

600
00:22:14,134 --> 00:22:17,303
when I got a modeling agency.

601
00:22:17,421 --> 00:22:18,671
How old were you?

602
00:22:18,805 --> 00:22:21,757
- I was 14.
- Damn.

603
00:22:21,892 --> 00:22:25,561
I think spending money is

604
00:22:25,645 --> 00:22:28,314
a way for me to shut my mind off

605
00:22:28,432 --> 00:22:30,766
and make me feel like I am somebody.

606
00:22:30,901 --> 00:22:32,184
You are somebody.

607
00:22:32,319 --> 00:22:33,569
And you know you're smart.

608
00:22:33,653 --> 00:22:36,439
I mean, look at all the work
you've done for Homegrown.

609
00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:39,075
I don't have a high-school diploma, Marco.

610
00:22:39,192 --> 00:22:42,745
Never let a piece of
paper define who you are.

611
00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:45,531
I don't.

612
00:22:45,615 --> 00:22:48,534
Thank you.

613
00:22:48,668 --> 00:22:51,454
So you still up for making
fun of over-educated people

614
00:22:51,621 --> 00:22:53,255
dressed up in stupid costumes?

615
00:22:53,340 --> 00:22:54,957
Hell, yes.

616
00:22:55,092 --> 00:22:56,542
Yeah, all right, get in the car.

617
00:23:07,020 --> 00:23:08,871
You gonna hide back here all night,

618
00:23:08,972 --> 00:23:10,272
or are you gonna let Kristi and Cheryl know

619
00:23:10,357 --> 00:23:11,357
that you lost the phone?

620
00:23:11,358 --> 00:23:13,859
I'm gonna hid here all night.

621
00:23:13,977 --> 00:23:15,895
Too late. They just saw us.

622
00:23:15,979 --> 00:23:18,531
Um, get some liquid courage,

623
00:23:18,648 --> 00:23:19,688
and then I will see you...

624
00:23:19,733 --> 00:23:20,733
Don't you freaking dare.

625
00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:23,652
Martha Stewart, look at you.

626
00:23:23,787 --> 00:23:24,787
- Wow.
- Come on.

627
00:23:24,821 --> 00:23:26,181
Where'd you get the ankle bracelet?

628
00:23:26,239 --> 00:23:27,239
That is genius.

629
00:23:27,290 --> 00:23:28,290
That is really.

630
00:23:28,408 --> 00:23:29,825
- So clever.
-  Fargo, come on.

631
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:30,993
You betcha.

632
00:23:31,128 --> 00:23:33,746
- I thought you looked bigger.
- For sure.

633
00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:35,164
So who are you?

634
00:23:35,332 --> 00:23:36,499
Oh.

635
00:23:36,666 --> 00:23:38,467
Bonnie of Bonnie and Clyde.

636
00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:39,919
My Clyde got held up.

637
00:23:43,673 --> 00:23:45,224
So what's with the phone?

638
00:23:45,342 --> 00:23:46,675
- The what?
- The phone.

639
00:23:46,843 --> 00:23:48,511
- The hamburger phone.
- Oh, my gosh, the hamburger...

640
00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:50,062
Oh, the hamburger phone. Oh, I'm so sorry.

641
00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:52,181
I meant to tell you. It
turns out that Reitman...

642
00:23:52,265 --> 00:23:53,599
He had to take it back.

643
00:23:53,733 --> 00:23:56,018
He needed it for, uh,
a Juno retrospective...

644
00:23:56,153 --> 00:23:57,153
At AFI.

645
00:23:57,154 --> 00:23:58,154
At AFI, thank you.

646
00:23:58,238 --> 00:23:59,655
And we were out when
he came over to get it.

647
00:23:59,739 --> 00:24:01,357
- Yeah.
- And her housekeeper...

648
00:24:01,491 --> 00:24:02,691
- Housekeeper, Rosa.
- Forgot to mention it to us

649
00:24:02,776 --> 00:24:04,360
because she's not a fan
of abortion-related movies.

650
00:24:04,494 --> 00:24:05,361
- She hates them.
- She's from Guatemala.

651
00:24:05,529 --> 00:24:08,164
She's Catholic.

652
00:24:10,534 --> 00:24:11,654
I can't believe he did that.

653
00:24:11,701 --> 00:24:14,503
Oh, just such a bunch of bullshit.

654
00:24:14,621 --> 00:24:17,540
It really is.

655
00:24:17,674 --> 00:24:18,757
Have fun tonight.

656
00:24:18,875 --> 00:24:21,260
Thanks.

657
00:24:21,378 --> 00:24:23,045
Oh, God, why didn't I think of an ankle...

658
00:24:23,180 --> 00:24:24,180
That's so clever.

659
00:24:24,264 --> 00:24:25,464
I'm shameful.

660
00:24:25,599 --> 00:24:26,882
Say nothing.

661
00:24:26,967 --> 00:24:27,967
You know what? Screw them.

662
00:24:27,968 --> 00:24:29,552
They have so much stuff here.

663
00:24:29,719 --> 00:24:32,188
Oh, diamonds.

664
00:24:32,272 --> 00:24:33,973
Stop fondling and admiring.

665
00:24:34,057 --> 00:24:35,691
- Put in a bid.
- No, I can't.

666
00:24:35,775 --> 00:24:37,109
Don't be ridiculous.

667
00:24:37,227 --> 00:24:38,394
- It's too much.
- Come on, treat yourself.

668
00:24:38,528 --> 00:24:40,980
Okay, meanwhile, I'm gonna
go check on my spa package.

669
00:24:41,064 --> 00:24:42,147
Saw a little whore there, hovering.

670
00:24:42,232 --> 00:24:43,232
Hey.

671
00:24:43,316 --> 00:24:45,150
Literally. She was
dressed like Heidi Fleiss.

672
00:24:45,285 --> 00:24:47,236
- Heidi Fleiss was a pimp.
- Oh, that's right.

673
00:24:54,911 --> 00:24:56,128
You're not bidding on diamonds, are you?

674
00:24:56,246 --> 00:24:57,463
Those are so...

675
00:24:59,916 --> 00:25:03,335
You know, you're probably
bidding on summer camps, right?

676
00:25:03,420 --> 00:25:05,387
I'm sorry.

677
00:25:05,472 --> 00:25:06,922
I'm so sorry about what happened.

678
00:25:07,057 --> 00:25:08,090
You were being so reasonable and...

679
00:25:08,258 --> 00:25:09,391
No, no, no. You know what? You know what?

680
00:25:09,509 --> 00:25:11,069
Let's... let's just let it go for tonight.

681
00:25:11,094 --> 00:25:12,595
Okay? I do not...

682
00:25:12,729 --> 00:25:14,813
Let's not make this night weird.

683
00:25:14,931 --> 00:25:16,315
Where's Clyde?

684
00:25:16,433 --> 00:25:19,101
Clyde... He got stuck in Nepal.

685
00:25:19,185 --> 00:25:21,403
Too bad.

686
00:25:23,907 --> 00:25:26,191
You look good doing that.

687
00:25:26,326 --> 00:25:28,577
There you are, Jake.

688
00:25:28,695 --> 00:25:29,945
Okay if I steal him for a sec?

689
00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:31,413
Uh, yes.

690
00:25:31,531 --> 00:25:33,449
- We are about to screen.
- Okay.

691
00:25:33,617 --> 00:25:35,857
Okay, when you talk about
this, and I know that you will,

692
00:25:35,869 --> 00:25:37,419
be kind, okay?

693
00:25:37,504 --> 00:25:38,587
Okay.

694
00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:39,788
Here we go.

695
00:25:39,873 --> 00:25:42,007
Oof!

696
00:25:47,464 --> 00:25:49,682
Screw it.

697
00:25:53,803 --> 00:25:56,639
One bid.

698
00:25:59,276 --> 00:26:02,895
Okay, we got to use these stupid stickers.

699
00:26:03,029 --> 00:26:06,065
Dude, dig the Trayvon.

700
00:26:06,199 --> 00:26:07,983
Righteous.

701
00:26:08,068 --> 00:26:10,536
Oh, my God.

702
00:26:10,654 --> 00:26:12,871
I am so sorry.

703
00:26:12,989 --> 00:26:14,490
See, who needs a costume?

704
00:26:14,624 --> 00:26:16,492
Black man in a hoodie... Nothing scarier.

705
00:26:16,576 --> 00:26:17,660
I am so sorry.

706
00:26:17,794 --> 00:26:18,954
- Wow.
- That is unacceptable.

707
00:26:18,995 --> 00:26:20,355
I didn't have the heart to tell him

708
00:26:20,380 --> 00:26:21,497
I'm actually Eddie Murphy
in Beverly Hills Cop.

709
00:26:27,504 --> 00:26:29,054
That's a hot photo.

710
00:26:29,172 --> 00:26:32,174
- It kind of looks like you.
- It's not.

711
00:26:32,342 --> 00:26:34,677
Holds up well, doesn't it?

712
00:26:34,811 --> 00:26:36,095
Hi, Kori.

713
00:26:38,098 --> 00:26:41,016
It's okay.

714
00:26:41,184 --> 00:26:43,519
See you inside.

715
00:26:49,159 --> 00:26:50,526
That was frosty.

716
00:26:52,245 --> 00:26:55,497
I think we should go.
Movie's about to start.

717
00:27:04,207 --> 00:27:06,875
Mickey Cohen and Bernie Madoff.

718
00:27:07,043 --> 00:27:09,762
Well, this table's not good for the Jews.

719
00:27:09,879 --> 00:27:12,131
If you'll all take your seats,
we've got a special treat

720
00:27:12,215 --> 00:27:15,184
prepared by this year's
director, Jake Novak,

721
00:27:15,301 --> 00:27:17,386
who's put together this treasure of a film

722
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,304
about your precious children.

723
00:27:19,439 --> 00:27:23,108
Especially the children of
the richest and most famous.

724
00:27:46,916 --> 00:27:49,385
What does a progressive
education mean to you?

725
00:27:49,469 --> 00:27:50,803
I'm learning about the world

726
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:52,471
through an integrated curriculum.

727
00:27:55,341 --> 00:27:56,425
I don't believe that was English,

728
00:27:56,509 --> 00:27:58,093
but here at the Center
for Expanding Horizons,

729
00:27:58,261 --> 00:27:59,094
you can learn what that means.

730
00:28:00,897 --> 00:28:03,899
What does a progressive
education mean to you?

731
00:28:04,017 --> 00:28:06,402
That we're not... anti-gressive?

732
00:28:13,610 --> 00:28:15,110
What's the best part about school?

733
00:28:15,278 --> 00:28:16,412
Reading festival.

734
00:28:16,529 --> 00:28:18,280
We plant our own gardens.

735
00:28:20,617 --> 00:28:22,284
Um...

736
00:28:25,455 --> 00:28:28,257
Pay up, folks.

737
00:28:28,374 --> 00:28:29,792
Tell us about your project.

738
00:28:29,926 --> 00:28:31,710
My name is Charlie.

739
00:28:31,845 --> 00:28:34,630
My favorite person is my mom.

740
00:28:34,798 --> 00:28:37,299
We like to share things together.

741
00:28:37,467 --> 00:28:40,102
I think she's special because she's my mom.

742
00:28:41,638 --> 00:28:43,158
Very nice. You want to put it up?

743
00:28:44,808 --> 00:28:45,808
Say "hi, Mom."

744
00:28:45,809 --> 00:28:46,975
Hi, Mom.

745
00:28:47,110 --> 00:28:48,227
Give a lot of money to the school.

746
00:28:57,787 --> 00:29:00,205
Wow, I didn't think
Jake-off had it in him.

747
00:29:00,323 --> 00:29:01,490
- You all right?
- Yeah.

748
00:30:01,551 --> 00:30:02,384
Stop!

749
00:30:02,519 --> 00:30:03,519
Stop?

750
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:04,520
Yes.

751
00:30:04,521 --> 00:30:05,888
I can bid on whatever I want.

752
00:30:05,972 --> 00:30:07,890
If you touch that bid sheet again,

753
00:30:08,024 --> 00:30:10,442
I will take it very personally.

754
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:11,810
Excuse me?

755
00:30:11,895 --> 00:30:13,395
Is that a threat?

756
00:30:13,479 --> 00:30:14,599
That is a statement, Cheryl.

757
00:30:14,614 --> 00:30:17,149
I am so sick of your mean-girl thing.

758
00:30:17,283 --> 00:30:18,984
It's like you get off

759
00:30:19,118 --> 00:30:21,486
on trying to make me feel like an outsider.

760
00:30:21,571 --> 00:30:22,571
Oh, please.

761
00:30:22,739 --> 00:30:24,373
Back off.

762
00:30:24,457 --> 00:30:27,075
This is my necklace.

763
00:30:27,210 --> 00:30:29,211
I never got a 40th-birthday bauble.

764
00:30:29,329 --> 00:30:32,414
Never got a 10th-anniversary bauble.

765
00:30:32,549 --> 00:30:34,299
This is mine.

766
00:30:34,417 --> 00:30:35,751
Back off my bauble.

767
00:30:35,919 --> 00:30:38,470
Hey. Everything okay here?

768
00:30:38,588 --> 00:30:40,708
It's fine. It's my necklace,
and Tracy Flick over here

769
00:30:40,807 --> 00:30:42,591
is just bidding on it to spite me.

770
00:30:42,675 --> 00:30:44,977
Okay, you have some serious issues.

771
00:30:45,094 --> 00:30:46,595
Yes, and I'm not working on them.

772
00:30:46,729 --> 00:30:49,398
Okay, hey, let's go for a walk. Come on.

773
00:30:53,019 --> 00:30:54,319
What was that about?

774
00:30:54,437 --> 00:30:56,905
I don't know.

775
00:30:57,023 --> 00:31:00,609
It's just coming here by myself,

776
00:31:00,743 --> 00:31:02,611
when I'm the pariah

777
00:31:02,779 --> 00:31:04,246
and you're the toast of the town...

778
00:31:04,330 --> 00:31:05,447
You're smoking now?

779
00:31:05,582 --> 00:31:07,449
Which, by the way, you totally deserve.

780
00:31:07,533 --> 00:31:10,786
I'm not saying... that video
was... It was really good.

781
00:31:10,870 --> 00:31:13,121
Yes, you seem thrilled for me. Thank you.

782
00:31:13,206 --> 00:31:16,091
No, seeing you so happy,

783
00:31:16,175 --> 00:31:18,293
showing your talent,

784
00:31:18,461 --> 00:31:20,462
I just... I don't know. I...

785
00:31:20,597 --> 00:31:21,797
What?

786
00:31:21,931 --> 00:31:24,266
It's terrible. It's not even worth saying.

787
00:31:24,350 --> 00:31:26,602
I can take it. What?

788
00:31:29,639 --> 00:31:31,023
Why now?

789
00:31:31,140 --> 00:31:34,776
Why are you coming into your own now?

790
00:31:34,894 --> 00:31:38,480
Was I such a monster that you
couldn't be yourself with me?

791
00:31:38,648 --> 00:31:41,233
I mean, I know it's not
that simple, but I see you,

792
00:31:41,317 --> 00:31:42,701
and I...

793
00:31:42,819 --> 00:31:45,203
I mean, I always knew that you
could do whatever you wanted.

794
00:31:45,321 --> 00:31:47,739
Always. And now here you are...

795
00:31:47,874 --> 00:31:49,324
I'm so...

796
00:31:49,492 --> 00:31:50,542
I'm so jealous.

797
00:31:50,660 --> 00:31:52,220
I'm so jealous of whoever gets you next,

798
00:31:52,245 --> 00:31:55,797
because, I mean, I was in the trenches

799
00:31:55,915 --> 00:31:57,916
doing all that hard stuff,

800
00:31:58,051 --> 00:32:02,004
and whoever gets you next
is just gonna get the win.

801
00:32:02,138 --> 00:32:03,388
Wow. Get the win.

802
00:32:03,506 --> 00:32:05,674
- You know what I mean.
- I don't, actually.

803
00:32:05,758 --> 00:32:08,176
Because you know what I
think is happening here?

804
00:32:08,311 --> 00:32:13,315
I'm getting a tiny taste of what
you've gotten you whole career.

805
00:32:13,399 --> 00:32:15,434
And you can't be happy for me,

806
00:32:15,518 --> 00:32:17,769
because it's all about you,

807
00:32:17,854 --> 00:32:20,022
and maybe if weren't,

808
00:32:20,156 --> 00:32:21,857
then some of these good things
would have happened for me

809
00:32:21,991 --> 00:32:25,360
a long time ago.

810
00:32:25,495 --> 00:32:26,945
Abby, Jesus, there you are.

811
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:27,946
I've been looking all over for you.

812
00:32:28,081 --> 00:32:29,081
We got to go now.

813
00:32:29,082 --> 00:32:30,615
- What? Why?
- It's Zooey.

814
00:32:30,700 --> 00:32:31,700
Is she okay? Is she hurt?

815
00:32:31,751 --> 00:32:33,251
No, no, she got arrested. Come on.

816
00:32:33,369 --> 00:32:35,170
Arrested? Are you kidding?

817
00:32:35,254 --> 00:32:36,654
- Okay.
- Come on, come on, come on.

818
00:32:36,673 --> 00:32:37,673
I'll drive.

819
00:32:37,707 --> 00:32:39,257
Polluting. I'm not a polluter.

820
00:32:39,375 --> 00:32:41,543
Oh, come on, please.

821
00:32:45,422 --> 00:32:48,474
Okay, can we raise the air conditioning up

822
00:32:48,592 --> 00:32:50,143
for this next item?

823
00:32:50,261 --> 00:32:52,512
This super-hot art photograph

824
00:32:52,646 --> 00:32:55,431
was donated by the acclaimed
photographer herself,

825
00:32:55,599 --> 00:32:56,816
Kori Wingo.

826
00:32:58,402 --> 00:33:00,570
Let's start at $2,000.

827
00:33:00,688 --> 00:33:02,438
We've got $2,000.

828
00:33:02,606 --> 00:33:04,440
Do I hear $2,500?

829
00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:06,859
We've got $2,500.

830
00:33:06,994 --> 00:33:08,278
Looking for $3,000.

831
00:33:08,412 --> 00:33:12,115
$3,000 to the stone fox at table seven.

832
00:33:12,199 --> 00:33:15,001
Who's forking up $3,500? Yeah.

833
00:33:15,119 --> 00:33:18,504
Okay, who's gonna give me $5,000?

834
00:33:18,622 --> 00:33:20,373
Yeah!

835
00:33:20,457 --> 00:33:21,457
You don't need this.

836
00:33:21,592 --> 00:33:22,625
I know what I'm doing.

837
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:24,040
All right, come on, big daddies,

838
00:33:24,128 --> 00:33:25,929
who's gonna bring me to $6,000?

839
00:33:26,046 --> 00:33:27,597
That's what I'm talking about.

840
00:33:27,715 --> 00:33:28,715
Do I hear $7,000?

841
00:33:28,766 --> 00:33:30,767
- Phoebe, what are you doing?
- Stop.

842
00:33:30,851 --> 00:33:31,768
$7,000. Who'll make it $8,000?

843
00:33:31,852 --> 00:33:34,103
We have $8,000!

844
00:33:34,221 --> 00:33:36,940
Okay, whoever gives me $10,000 right now

845
00:33:37,024 --> 00:33:38,864
can spank me with their
paddle when we're done.

846
00:33:40,361 --> 00:33:42,478
Going once, twice...

847
00:33:42,613 --> 00:33:45,481
Sold! Hot mama takes it down.

848
00:33:45,649 --> 00:33:48,034
Save your paddle. I will find you later.

849
00:33:50,738 --> 00:33:52,238
What was that about?

850
00:33:52,323 --> 00:33:54,407
You just said that picture was okay,

851
00:33:54,491 --> 00:33:56,042
and then you go and you blow ten grand?

852
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:57,560
Don't tell me how to spend my money.

853
00:33:57,578 --> 00:33:59,329
- I'm not telling you...
- It's for the school, Marco.

854
00:33:59,463 --> 00:34:00,496
- I'm just asking...
- Stop, stop.

855
00:34:00,631 --> 00:34:02,298
Stop asking. Stop with the questions.

856
00:34:02,383 --> 00:34:03,416
Stop with the harassing.

857
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:04,884
- I'm harassing you now?
- Yes.

858
00:34:05,002 --> 00:34:06,970
You know what? I can't do this.

859
00:34:07,087 --> 00:34:09,138
This is not gonna work.

860
00:34:09,223 --> 00:34:11,007
It's not just the money.

861
00:34:11,175 --> 00:34:13,926
There are so many ways

862
00:34:14,061 --> 00:34:17,263
I'm gonna disappoint you, Marco.

863
00:34:17,348 --> 00:34:19,849
I just can't live up to your expectations.

864
00:34:21,318 --> 00:34:23,186
Bunch of bureaucratic bullshit,

865
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:24,600
making us pay for all this crap.

866
00:34:24,605 --> 00:34:25,655
We didn't have a choice.

867
00:34:25,739 --> 00:34:27,824
Forcing Zooey to attend
theft education classes.

868
00:34:27,908 --> 00:34:29,192
Jesus Christ!

869
00:34:29,276 --> 00:34:30,860
We didn't pay for it, they
wouldn't have released her.

870
00:34:30,995 --> 00:34:32,912
Well, maybe they would have if
you'd spoken up for yourself.

871
00:34:33,030 --> 00:34:34,497
We know you're not a shoplifter.

872
00:34:34,581 --> 00:34:36,532
Who you trying to protect, huh?

873
00:34:36,667 --> 00:34:37,700
Lilly, did you talk her into this?

874
00:34:37,835 --> 00:34:40,203
Hey, excuse me.

875
00:34:40,371 --> 00:34:42,051
Lilly should be thanked for not leaving her

876
00:34:42,122 --> 00:34:43,256
like the other girls did.

877
00:34:43,374 --> 00:34:44,841
All I'm saying is, we
don't have all the facts.

878
00:34:44,925 --> 00:34:46,709
Mom, Lilly didn't do anything.

879
00:34:46,794 --> 00:34:47,914
Someone did something, okay?

880
00:34:48,012 --> 00:34:51,214
Because I just spent $372

881
00:34:51,348 --> 00:34:53,966
paying for some other
kid's teenage rebellion.

882
00:34:54,051 --> 00:34:55,685
Okay? Who steals bras?

883
00:34:55,803 --> 00:34:58,721
Can't you just... ?

884
00:34:58,856 --> 00:35:00,807
Forget it.

885
00:35:00,891 --> 00:35:02,275
Sweetie...

886
00:35:02,393 --> 00:35:05,144
It's totally normal to want to be popular.

887
00:35:05,229 --> 00:35:08,197
Okay? But it's not worth it.

888
00:35:08,282 --> 00:35:10,650
Whoever you're trying to
protect, you got to tell me.

889
00:35:12,202 --> 00:35:14,320
One of you has to tell me.

890
00:35:20,794 --> 00:35:22,128
Okay, Jo, we're gonna
pick this up tomorrow.

891
00:35:22,246 --> 00:35:23,880
All right.

892
00:35:23,997 --> 00:35:25,548
Girls, you should get to bed.

893
00:35:25,632 --> 00:35:26,632
Come on, Zooey.

894
00:35:26,667 --> 00:35:28,584
It's okay.

895
00:37:30,530 --> 00:37:31,530
Hey.

896
00:37:31,614 --> 00:37:33,032
Hey.

897
00:37:33,116 --> 00:37:35,200
About Beech...

898
00:37:35,335 --> 00:37:37,953
Look, I totally get it. The guy's a nut.

899
00:37:38,038 --> 00:37:41,040
No wonder Courtney couldn't
stay married to him.

900
00:37:41,174 --> 00:37:42,708
Yeah.

901
00:37:42,842 --> 00:37:43,876
You know, I have to say,

902
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:46,545
I still have a kind of
fondness for the man,

903
00:37:46,629 --> 00:37:50,382
because I love all of our clients.

904
00:37:50,517 --> 00:37:52,217
Wait. No.

905
00:37:52,352 --> 00:37:53,552
Beech?

906
00:37:53,636 --> 00:37:57,222
Whatever you said to him out
there obviously did the trick.

907
00:37:57,307 --> 00:37:59,808
Congratulations, Ms. Banai.

908
00:37:59,893 --> 00:38:02,444
The road to partnership
is now elegantly paved.

909
00:38:02,562 --> 00:38:04,446
Albert...

910
00:38:04,564 --> 00:38:05,614
thank you.

911
00:38:05,732 --> 00:38:07,900
Thank you.

912
00:38:08,034 --> 00:38:10,152
Nice flowers, by the way.

913
00:38:15,892 --> 00:38:18,216
TIME TO WRITE A NEW STORY

914
00:38:35,812 --> 00:38:37,479
Ooh.

915
00:38:40,183 --> 00:38:41,734
I'm coming down, Will!

916
00:38:52,112 --> 00:38:54,696
Can I come in for a minute?

917
00:38:54,831 --> 00:38:56,915
Yeah.

918
00:38:58,952 --> 00:39:00,869
Oh, um...

919
00:39:00,954 --> 00:39:02,204
Lilly texted me

920
00:39:02,288 --> 00:39:04,540
about what happened with Zooey.

921
00:39:04,624 --> 00:39:05,874
That's...

922
00:39:06,009 --> 00:39:09,128
Yeah, uh, we haven't
gotten the whole story yet.

923
00:39:09,212 --> 00:39:11,013
She clammed up.

924
00:39:16,136 --> 00:39:17,686
Jake, um...

925
00:39:17,804 --> 00:39:20,806
Will's flight landed 45 minutes ago,

926
00:39:20,890 --> 00:39:23,025
and he's on his way over here, so...

927
00:39:23,143 --> 00:39:25,861
Oh, okay. I'll make it quick.

928
00:39:25,979 --> 00:39:27,646
Uh...

929
00:39:27,814 --> 00:39:29,148
we're getting divorced.

930
00:39:29,232 --> 00:39:31,733
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

931
00:39:31,818 --> 00:39:33,619
For real now.

932
00:39:33,736 --> 00:39:36,622
You think you're spinning
out a little bit maybe?

933
00:39:36,706 --> 00:39:37,823
Possibly.

934
00:39:37,957 --> 00:39:40,075
Okay.

935
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,161
I mean, the whole camp thing is very...

936
00:39:42,295 --> 00:39:43,962
- Just forget about it.
- Mm-hmm.

937
00:39:44,047 --> 00:39:45,631
Just, uh... I mean, they
don't have to go all summer.

938
00:39:45,748 --> 00:39:47,633
Oh, my God.

939
00:39:51,671 --> 00:39:53,839
I said some things last
night I feel really bad about.

940
00:39:54,007 --> 00:39:55,174
No. Uh-uh.

941
00:39:55,308 --> 00:39:56,425
- No, I'm not...
- I feel so awful about it.

942
00:39:56,559 --> 00:40:00,729
No, I'm not... I'm going with my bad.

943
00:40:00,847 --> 00:40:01,847
But you...

944
00:40:01,848 --> 00:40:04,433
Abby, you never got in my way.

945
00:40:04,567 --> 00:40:06,351
I did.

946
00:40:06,486 --> 00:40:08,487
You know, us splitting was
a huge wake-up call for me,

947
00:40:08,605 --> 00:40:11,356
and I finally got my
head out of my ass, but...

948
00:40:11,524 --> 00:40:12,884
I totally get what you were saying.

949
00:40:13,026 --> 00:40:14,910
- You do?
- Yeah.

950
00:40:25,004 --> 00:40:28,540
You supported me in a lot of ways

951
00:40:28,675 --> 00:40:32,211
for a long time, and it occurred to me

952
00:40:32,378 --> 00:40:36,882
that I never actually thanked you for that.

953
00:40:46,392 --> 00:40:47,976
Oh, my God.

954
00:40:48,111 --> 00:40:51,446
Beat that bitch Cheryl
out, just under the wire.

955
00:40:51,564 --> 00:40:54,566
- Was she pissed?
- She was so pissed.

956
00:40:56,069 --> 00:40:58,954
- Will you... ?
- Oh, good, yeah.

957
00:41:07,747 --> 00:41:09,631
- Here, here.
- Yeah.

958
00:41:12,335 --> 00:41:16,054
I always wanted to buy you something nice.

959
00:41:22,345 --> 00:41:23,595
Sorry it took so long.

960
00:41:35,491 --> 00:41:37,192
Is this a divorce present?

961
00:41:37,327 --> 00:41:40,829
Kind of.

962
00:41:50,039 --> 00:41:51,290
Wow. That's Will.

963
00:41:51,424 --> 00:41:54,092
- Yeah.
- Um...

964
00:41:54,177 --> 00:41:55,794
I'm gonna go out the side gate.

965
00:41:55,878 --> 00:41:56,992
- Okay.
- Okay.

966
00:41:59,299 --> 00:42:01,133
Jake.

967
00:42:03,436 --> 00:42:05,103
Thank you.

968
00:42:05,188 --> 00:42:06,037
It looks beautiful on you.

969
00:42:23,396 --> 00:42:25,596
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
- www.addic7ed.com -