1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,117 Previously on Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce... 2 00:00:02,285 --> 00:00:06,104 Abby, they want you to do a piece--ten dates in two days. 3 00:00:06,105 --> 00:00:08,506 - Who posts a picture of that? - Tons of guys. 4 00:00:08,624 --> 00:00:10,625 I know that man. He is a dad at school. 5 00:00:10,759 --> 00:00:11,842 He's a married dad. 6 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,344 Homegrown-- An urban farm 7 00:00:13,462 --> 00:00:15,630 working with recovering addicts 8 00:00:15,764 --> 00:00:17,265 to give them employable skills. 9 00:00:17,349 --> 00:00:19,050 The only out of our situation 10 00:00:19,184 --> 00:00:23,054 is if I'm at least open to the casual encounter. 11 00:00:23,138 --> 00:00:24,939 I know why he's been staring at me. He works at the Getty. 12 00:00:25,057 --> 00:00:26,524 I left my wife. 13 00:00:26,642 --> 00:00:29,026 Do you have to comment on all the proceedings? 14 00:00:29,144 --> 00:00:30,228 I'm so sorry. It's just a habit. 15 00:00:30,362 --> 00:00:31,562 My wife used to say-- 16 00:00:31,697 --> 00:00:33,337 - Don't talk about your wife. - Oh, right. 17 00:00:33,398 --> 00:00:34,998 First you declare some kind of affection, 18 00:00:35,033 --> 00:00:36,617 and then you have sex with Courtney? 19 00:00:36,735 --> 00:00:37,618 - I did it for us. - Oh, my God. 20 00:00:37,703 --> 00:00:39,453 You need to get out of here. Go. 21 00:00:39,538 --> 00:00:40,988 You're a writer? 22 00:00:41,156 --> 00:00:42,406 Well, I don't think you can call yourself that 23 00:00:42,491 --> 00:00:45,493 when you haven't been published, but I did write this. 24 00:00:45,577 --> 00:00:47,161 Would you be comfortable passing it on to your editor? 25 00:00:47,296 --> 00:00:48,663 I want to be the pretty, pretty princess. 26 00:00:48,830 --> 00:00:50,081 I don't want to be a resource. 27 00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:53,167 Um... 28 00:00:53,991 --> 00:00:58,191 RULE # 3 DON'T STAND IN THE DOORWAY 29 00:01:16,158 --> 00:01:18,442 Oh, Will. 30 00:01:23,081 --> 00:01:25,449 You make the Earth move. 31 00:01:42,184 --> 00:01:43,968 Holy shit! 32 00:01:44,102 --> 00:01:45,720 Mom! 33 00:01:49,224 --> 00:01:51,893 THE DESCENT 34 00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:56,230 Sync and corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 35 00:01:56,365 --> 00:01:58,866 Okay, what is the most important thing 36 00:01:58,984 --> 00:02:00,284 to remember during an earthquake? 37 00:02:00,402 --> 00:02:01,402 Don't panic. 38 00:02:01,403 --> 00:02:02,787 That's right. Do not panic. 39 00:02:02,904 --> 00:02:05,456 Jo, you were outside, running around, screaming. 40 00:02:05,574 --> 00:02:08,576 Naked, and I saw your butt, Aunt Jo. 41 00:02:08,710 --> 00:02:10,911 And naked, calling 911. 42 00:02:10,996 --> 00:02:12,747 Who did nothing, by the way. 43 00:02:12,881 --> 00:02:14,799 It's an earthquake. It's a little tremor. 44 00:02:14,916 --> 00:02:16,584 - It's completely normal. - Oh, it's perfectly normal. 45 00:02:16,668 --> 00:02:18,836 Really? A roof beam comes down on you, 46 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,471 it'll amputate your leg faster than a doctor 47 00:02:20,589 --> 00:02:22,089 in the Civil War. Mark my word, okay? 48 00:02:22,257 --> 00:02:23,507 Gone to leg heaven. 49 00:02:23,592 --> 00:02:25,643 M?s huevos, por favor. 50 00:02:25,761 --> 00:02:26,811 - Thanks, Abby. - Gracias. 51 00:02:26,928 --> 00:02:28,813 I like the parmesan-cheese touch. 52 00:02:33,185 --> 00:02:35,486 Did the school give you your interview time? 53 00:02:35,604 --> 00:02:37,271 Oh, yeah, she's got an interview tomorrow. 54 00:02:37,439 --> 00:02:39,774 The Center is her first choice. 55 00:02:39,908 --> 00:02:42,827 It's the only school that offers Japanese, Russian, 56 00:02:42,944 --> 00:02:45,029 and Chinese in eighth grade. 57 00:02:45,113 --> 00:02:46,447 Can you believe this? 58 00:02:46,615 --> 00:02:48,165 Thanks for letting me shadow you today. 59 00:02:48,283 --> 00:02:49,617 It's fine. 60 00:02:49,751 --> 00:02:51,452 I'd like to get there early 61 00:02:51,586 --> 00:02:52,666 to get the lay of the land. 62 00:02:52,704 --> 00:02:54,872 You know what they say? Better never than late. 63 00:02:55,006 --> 00:02:56,590 - Did you just make that up? - I wish. 64 00:02:56,708 --> 00:02:57,875 George Bernard Shaw. 65 00:02:58,009 --> 00:02:59,760 Come on, Charlie, come on, Chad. 66 00:02:59,878 --> 00:03:01,262 Okay, we're coming. 67 00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:02,860 Oh, my God, Chad does not like anyone. 68 00:03:02,964 --> 00:03:04,265 That's incredible. 69 00:03:04,383 --> 00:03:05,633 She's amazing with imaginary friends. 70 00:03:05,767 --> 00:03:07,468 I love you. 71 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:09,854 Hi, Warren. How are you? 72 00:03:09,971 --> 00:03:11,305 - Come on, Chad. - Can I call you back? 73 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,691 Because I'm just getting the kids ready for school. 74 00:03:13,809 --> 00:03:15,393 Okay. 75 00:03:15,527 --> 00:03:17,361 Uh, Great. Oh, great. 76 00:03:17,479 --> 00:03:18,696 Thank you. 77 00:03:18,814 --> 00:03:20,614 Uh, thank you for calling. Okay. 78 00:03:20,732 --> 00:03:21,615 Oh, my God. 79 00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:23,651 - What was that? - That was my agent. 80 00:03:23,819 --> 00:03:25,453 HuffPo posted my article today. 81 00:03:25,570 --> 00:03:26,654 And? 82 00:03:26,788 --> 00:03:28,989 - And I'm trending. - What? 83 00:03:29,124 --> 00:03:31,158 Why Aren't You Divorced Yet is trending. 84 00:03:31,243 --> 00:03:34,495 Hot shit. Look at you. You broke through the clutter. 85 00:03:34,629 --> 00:03:36,497 - I broke through the clutter. - Whoo! 86 00:03:36,665 --> 00:03:38,749 Oh, thank God, Noah's fine. 87 00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:40,501 He's in the shower. Logan slept through the whole thing. 88 00:03:40,635 --> 00:03:41,635 He was like, 89 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,138 "There was an earthquake?" 90 00:03:44,222 --> 00:03:45,222 Amazing. 91 00:03:45,223 --> 00:03:46,590 Is it normal for an eight-year-old 92 00:03:46,725 --> 00:03:48,142 to snore like a hibernating bear? 93 00:03:48,226 --> 00:03:50,311 Please, I'm not adding that to my list of things 94 00:03:50,395 --> 00:03:52,179 to worry about. 95 00:03:52,314 --> 00:03:54,849 - Max. - Yeah? 96 00:03:55,016 --> 00:03:56,851 About my trip last week to Texas. 97 00:03:56,985 --> 00:03:58,519 We are on a need-to-know basis, 98 00:03:58,603 --> 00:04:01,489 and I do not need to know. 99 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:06,494 The final divorce decree 100 00:04:06,611 --> 00:04:09,113 simply requires your signature on all the indicated pages, 101 00:04:09,197 --> 00:04:12,450 and your marriage will be legally dissolved. 102 00:04:12,584 --> 00:04:13,834 Please show Mr. Beech to your desk. 103 00:04:13,919 --> 00:04:14,959 Congratulations, Mr. Beech. 104 00:04:15,003 --> 00:04:16,704 Mr. Beech, this way. 105 00:04:16,838 --> 00:04:18,372 Uh, could we have a moment alone 106 00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:19,540 before I sign? 107 00:04:19,591 --> 00:04:20,674 Actually, I have a meeting waiting, 108 00:04:20,759 --> 00:04:22,343 but my paralegal here is also a notary, 109 00:04:22,427 --> 00:04:23,761 and when you are ready, 110 00:04:23,879 --> 00:04:26,130 she will be able to take care of all your needs 111 00:04:26,214 --> 00:04:28,349 much better than I can. 112 00:04:37,225 --> 00:04:39,059 Gordon, you need to go. 113 00:04:39,144 --> 00:04:41,195 Will you shut up for a second and let me talk? 114 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:42,696 I realize that you're still angry, 115 00:04:42,781 --> 00:04:44,031 but I want you to look me in the eye 116 00:04:44,115 --> 00:04:46,233 and tell me that you have never done anything questionable 117 00:04:46,368 --> 00:04:47,368 during a battle. 118 00:04:47,402 --> 00:04:49,703 That is not the point, okay? 119 00:04:49,788 --> 00:04:52,206 This is about... 120 00:04:52,324 --> 00:04:53,374 trust-- 121 00:04:53,492 --> 00:04:55,242 Something neither you or I is good at. 122 00:04:55,327 --> 00:04:56,961 Well, I see that as a net plus. 123 00:04:57,078 --> 00:04:59,046 We go into this thing with our eyes wide open. 124 00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:02,249 We're cynical, sure, but we're equal. 125 00:05:02,334 --> 00:05:05,920 Two peas in an amoral pod, huh? 126 00:05:06,004 --> 00:05:07,638 I see that Variety listed you 127 00:05:07,756 --> 00:05:11,342 in their Top 40 under 40 issue. 128 00:05:11,426 --> 00:05:12,593 Congratulations. 129 00:05:12,727 --> 00:05:13,978 Thank you. 130 00:05:14,095 --> 00:05:15,646 The article listed you as single. 131 00:05:15,764 --> 00:05:18,098 So? I am. 132 00:05:20,769 --> 00:05:23,187 I just booked a suite at the Four Seasons in Bora-Bora 133 00:05:23,271 --> 00:05:24,905 for next week-- Come with me. 134 00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:27,741 We'll have very dirty, hot makeup sex, 135 00:05:27,826 --> 00:05:31,328 and then we'll fight again so we can have some more. 136 00:05:31,446 --> 00:05:33,364 Think about it, Ms. Banai. 137 00:05:42,290 --> 00:05:43,707 - Mwah. Go have fun. - Blow their minds, babe, okay? 138 00:05:43,792 --> 00:05:44,792 Learn something. 139 00:05:44,843 --> 00:05:46,377 You nervous? 140 00:05:46,511 --> 00:05:48,262 Don't be nervous. 141 00:05:48,380 --> 00:05:50,431 Listen, I can't have this thing go sideways, okay? 142 00:05:50,549 --> 00:05:52,182 You sure I don't have to write a big, fat check 143 00:05:52,300 --> 00:05:54,218 or blow somebody, you know, 144 00:05:54,302 --> 00:05:55,803 pull out the Latino card or anything like that? 145 00:05:55,971 --> 00:05:57,304 - Stop. Stop. - What? 146 00:05:57,389 --> 00:05:58,856 I'm gonna introduce you to the fund-raising committee. 147 00:05:58,974 --> 00:06:00,357 They have huge pull in admissions, 148 00:06:00,475 --> 00:06:02,142 and besides, Zooey is so fantastic. 149 00:06:02,227 --> 00:06:03,978 Of course they're gonna take her. 150 00:06:04,112 --> 00:06:05,563 Wow. What is happening? 151 00:06:05,697 --> 00:06:06,564 Bring it. 152 00:06:06,648 --> 00:06:08,399 Business Barbie, explain. 153 00:06:08,533 --> 00:06:09,650 I'm going to meet Marco. 154 00:06:09,734 --> 00:06:11,368 I thought you were on a man-cation. 155 00:06:11,486 --> 00:06:13,654 Oh, it's not like that. I actually have an amazing idea 156 00:06:13,788 --> 00:06:15,322 to expand Homegrown's visibility. 157 00:06:15,407 --> 00:06:16,707 Really? 158 00:06:16,825 --> 00:06:19,460 And Ford helped me design an incredible marketing idea, 159 00:06:19,544 --> 00:06:21,161 so I'm gonna go pitch it to Marco right now. 160 00:06:21,246 --> 00:06:22,246 This is incredible. 161 00:06:22,330 --> 00:06:24,415 By the way, your HuffPo piece-- 162 00:06:24,549 --> 00:06:25,966 - Genius. - Thank you. 163 00:06:26,084 --> 00:06:27,167 I would get divorced again if I wasn't already divorced twice. 164 00:06:27,252 --> 00:06:29,053 Thank you so much. What a sweet thing to say. 165 00:06:29,170 --> 00:06:30,254 Um, so who's the guy? 166 00:06:30,388 --> 00:06:31,672 - Come on, give it to me. - Which one? 167 00:06:31,806 --> 00:06:33,340 You know, the Tinder guy, who is he? Date number five. 168 00:06:33,475 --> 00:06:35,009 - The penis guy. - No, I'm not telling you. 169 00:06:35,143 --> 00:06:36,760 - Abby McCarthy, give it to me. - No. 170 00:06:36,845 --> 00:06:38,846 - Abby McCarthy. - Lips are sealed. 171 00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:40,764 - Taking it to the grave. - I want-- 172 00:06:40,849 --> 00:06:42,983 I'm a journalist. 173 00:06:43,068 --> 00:06:45,019 I don't reveal my sources. 174 00:06:45,153 --> 00:06:46,854 This isn't over. 175 00:06:49,157 --> 00:06:50,524 Okay, take a deep breath. 176 00:06:50,659 --> 00:06:51,825 - Lay of the land. - Uh-huh. 177 00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:53,661 Cheryl Platt is head of the committee--blonde hair, 178 00:06:53,745 --> 00:06:55,362 - usually in a ponytail. - She's the alpha, got it. 179 00:06:55,497 --> 00:06:57,377 She gives blood, sweat, and money to the school, 180 00:06:57,532 --> 00:06:59,667 and she essentially lives inside the principal's ass. 181 00:06:59,784 --> 00:07:01,835 So, if you kiss that ring, your daughter is as good as in. 182 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,621 Time to turn on my charm offensive. 183 00:07:03,755 --> 00:07:05,956 More charm, less offensive, please. 184 00:07:06,091 --> 00:07:07,341 - Got it. - Oh, my God. 185 00:07:07,425 --> 00:07:08,876 - What? - That's Karen Kline. 186 00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:10,477 - Who? - That's Nate's wife. 187 00:07:10,578 --> 00:07:11,962 Nate, Nate, Nate, Nate-- The guy who was crap in bed. 188 00:07:12,097 --> 00:07:13,097 Jackrabbit. 189 00:07:13,214 --> 00:07:14,465 Oh, my gosh. Does she know? 190 00:07:14,616 --> 00:07:16,350 I doubt it. I think they got back together. 191 00:07:16,434 --> 00:07:18,268 Abby. 192 00:07:18,386 --> 00:07:19,887 - Cheryl, hi. - Hi. 193 00:07:20,055 --> 00:07:21,271 How are you? 194 00:07:21,389 --> 00:07:22,973 It's so good to see you. 195 00:07:23,058 --> 00:07:24,725 Karen, I didn't know you were on this committee. 196 00:07:24,809 --> 00:07:26,143 Oh, yeah, 197 00:07:26,227 --> 00:07:28,312 I got bored with hot lunch, decided to try something new. 198 00:07:28,396 --> 00:07:30,731 I love that. This is--this is my friend Jo. 199 00:07:30,815 --> 00:07:32,199 Her daughter is an applicant. 200 00:07:32,317 --> 00:07:33,901 Hi. A minority applicant. 201 00:07:34,069 --> 00:07:36,370 Josefina Hern?ndez-Frumpkis. Es encantada. 202 00:07:36,454 --> 00:07:38,372 Nice to meet you. I like your ponytail. 203 00:07:38,456 --> 00:07:40,708 Muffins, lovely. Look at that. 204 00:07:40,792 --> 00:07:42,159 Very nice muffins. 205 00:07:42,293 --> 00:07:44,578 So we've all been buzzing about your piece in the HuffPo. 206 00:07:44,746 --> 00:07:45,913 Oh, yeah? Thank you. 207 00:07:46,047 --> 00:07:47,915 - Some pretty bold stuff. - Yeah. 208 00:07:48,049 --> 00:07:49,083 Well, dish. 209 00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:51,301 Who's the cheater guy? 210 00:07:51,419 --> 00:07:52,469 What? 211 00:07:52,587 --> 00:07:54,338 Date number five. 212 00:07:54,472 --> 00:07:55,839 Oh. 213 00:07:55,974 --> 00:07:57,424 Come on, Abby, it's just us. 214 00:07:57,509 --> 00:07:59,393 Is he a parent here at the Center? 215 00:07:59,511 --> 00:08:01,178 Don't you think we should talk about fund-raising? 216 00:08:01,262 --> 00:08:02,930 Don't you think we have a right 217 00:08:03,064 --> 00:08:05,849 to know if one of our husbands is putting his penis on Tinder? 218 00:08:05,984 --> 00:08:08,902 Um, you know what? 219 00:08:08,987 --> 00:08:11,905 I'm a journalist, and I have to protect my sources. 220 00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:15,075 Is that what that was-- Journalism? 221 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,778 Look, Abby, some of us like our husbands. 222 00:08:17,862 --> 00:08:20,698 We want to know if there's a problem so we can fix it, 223 00:08:20,782 --> 00:08:23,534 even though most married people--how did you say?-- 224 00:08:23,618 --> 00:08:27,755 Are bound in a codependent death spiral. 225 00:08:27,872 --> 00:08:31,792 Well, I wasn't insinuating that everyone needs to get a divorce. 226 00:08:31,876 --> 00:08:33,260 I was merely saying-- 227 00:08:33,344 --> 00:08:36,764 I'm sorry, but what kind of junior-high mommy mafia 228 00:08:36,881 --> 00:08:39,299 anti-feminist bullshit is this? 229 00:08:39,384 --> 00:08:40,934 Have we all not seen The Vagina Monologues? 230 00:08:41,019 --> 00:08:43,270 - Okay, Jo, you don't-- - Ladies, it's not her fault 231 00:08:43,354 --> 00:08:45,606 that your husband's cheating on you or your husband 232 00:08:45,690 --> 00:08:47,474 or your husband or your husband. 233 00:08:47,609 --> 00:08:50,110 If he screwed her, that's fine. 234 00:08:50,195 --> 00:08:51,311 It would have been someone else if he didn't screw her. 235 00:08:51,446 --> 00:08:52,563 - Okay. - She doesn't need 236 00:08:52,647 --> 00:08:54,314 - to wear your scarlet A, okay? - Jo. 237 00:08:54,482 --> 00:08:56,900 She's a brilliant, badass single woman 238 00:08:57,035 --> 00:08:59,737 entitled to screw as many hot dudes as she wants, 239 00:08:59,871 --> 00:09:01,822 and if you don't like it, suck it, ladies! 240 00:09:02,406 --> 00:09:03,340 Okay? 241 00:09:03,424 --> 00:09:05,392 So nice meeting you... c'mon. 242 00:09:09,042 --> 00:09:11,543 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 243 00:09:12,078 --> 00:09:13,194 Why didn't you shut me down? 244 00:09:13,279 --> 00:09:14,446 Shut you down? 245 00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:15,697 You know the Mouth has impulse-control issues. 246 00:09:15,781 --> 00:09:16,948 It's like trying to shut the Hulk down. 247 00:09:17,083 --> 00:09:18,783 I forgot to take my Concerta this morning. 248 00:09:18,918 --> 00:09:20,335 I am so mortified. 249 00:09:20,453 --> 00:09:22,203 - Shit, shit. - God. 250 00:09:22,288 --> 00:09:23,755 Okay, you know what? 251 00:09:23,873 --> 00:09:25,890 I just--I'm sorry, but I-I couldn't stand to watch 252 00:09:25,958 --> 00:09:27,959 those judg-o-nauts bully you like that. 253 00:09:28,127 --> 00:09:30,261 It was Mean Girls on steroids. Not okay. 254 00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,463 Thank you so much for being my friend. 255 00:09:31,597 --> 00:09:32,597 I appreciate that, 256 00:09:32,631 --> 00:09:34,048 but that is not the kind of help that I need. 257 00:09:34,183 --> 00:09:36,935 Oh, God. The one thing that my baby wanted, I screwed it up. 258 00:09:37,019 --> 00:09:38,720 I'm never gonna eat hot lunch in this town again. 259 00:09:38,854 --> 00:09:40,555 I definitely have to blow someone now, don't I? 260 00:09:40,689 --> 00:09:42,169 - Oh, my God. - I got to blow someone. 261 00:09:42,191 --> 00:09:43,358 - Do not. - Oh, yeah. 262 00:09:43,476 --> 00:09:46,060 No, no, no, no, no, you will not do that. 263 00:09:46,195 --> 00:09:47,995 You will write a big, fat check to the school. 264 00:09:48,030 --> 00:09:49,864 You will give it to them before her interview. 265 00:09:49,982 --> 00:09:51,622 All will be forgotten. I promise you that. 266 00:09:51,734 --> 00:09:52,734 You're gonna be fine. 267 00:09:52,868 --> 00:09:54,486 I, on the other hand, 268 00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:58,123 am completely screwed and would have to lay low, 269 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,159 like, incredibly low, like, mine shaft low. 270 00:10:01,293 --> 00:10:03,628 I mean, so low, just-- 271 00:10:03,746 --> 00:10:05,330 Hello? 272 00:10:05,498 --> 00:10:07,715 This is Abby McCarthy. 273 00:10:07,833 --> 00:10:10,802 Uh, hi, Amanda from HuffPo. 274 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,972 Uh, today? A sit-down? 275 00:10:14,089 --> 00:10:16,841 Uh, yes, yes, I can make that happen. 276 00:10:17,009 --> 00:10:18,317 What time? 277 00:10:18,542 --> 00:10:19,801 Great, I'll be there. 278 00:10:20,312 --> 00:10:22,263 So it's like an edible schoolyard? 279 00:10:22,348 --> 00:10:24,232 Yeah, it's farm-to-table, 280 00:10:24,350 --> 00:10:26,190 Alice Waters, which is all the rage these days. 281 00:10:26,268 --> 00:10:27,602 Yeah, no, no, it's catchy. 282 00:10:27,686 --> 00:10:29,687 The idea is that we use your produce 283 00:10:29,822 --> 00:10:31,689 to build edible walls at schools around the city-- 284 00:10:31,774 --> 00:10:33,324 Fresh fruits and veggies for the kids 285 00:10:33,409 --> 00:10:35,827 and free PR for Homegrown. 286 00:10:35,911 --> 00:10:37,111 Best part is, 287 00:10:37,196 --> 00:10:38,830 I don't think you're gonna have to put up a dime. 288 00:10:38,948 --> 00:10:40,448 Good, because I don't have it. 289 00:10:40,533 --> 00:10:42,584 I know. So Ford hooked us up. 290 00:10:42,701 --> 00:10:44,502 It turns out his client, Coca-Cola, 291 00:10:44,587 --> 00:10:46,788 has money earmarked for eco-sponsorship, 292 00:10:46,872 --> 00:10:49,791 and--and I'm pretty sure they cover all the startup costs. 293 00:10:49,925 --> 00:10:51,876 - Mm. - What? 294 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:54,745 You must think I'm some kind of asshole, huh? 295 00:10:55,330 --> 00:10:56,263 What? 296 00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:57,582 You want me to take corporate money. 297 00:10:57,666 --> 00:10:59,117 Sorry, love, not interested. 298 00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:01,469 Marco. Hey, Marco, look-- 299 00:11:01,604 --> 00:11:03,471 I'm not-- 300 00:11:04,106 --> 00:11:05,657 Look, what you do here is special, 301 00:11:05,691 --> 00:11:07,609 and I appreciate your principles, 302 00:11:07,726 --> 00:11:10,228 but you are perpetually five minutes 303 00:11:10,362 --> 00:11:11,563 from being out of business. 304 00:11:11,697 --> 00:11:13,231 Hey, you know, that's the nature of the beast. 305 00:11:13,315 --> 00:11:14,315 Okay, exactly. 306 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,951 This deal would increase your profile, 307 00:11:17,069 --> 00:11:18,736 and it will keep your doors open. 308 00:11:18,871 --> 00:11:21,122 All Coke is asking for is a little plaque 309 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:22,457 and a meeting with you. 310 00:11:22,575 --> 00:11:23,992 That's it. 311 00:11:24,076 --> 00:11:25,793 You'd have to be an asshole to pass this up. 312 00:11:25,911 --> 00:11:27,271 Did you just call me an asshole? 313 00:11:27,296 --> 00:11:28,580 Yes, I did. 314 00:11:28,714 --> 00:11:31,416 Why don't you use their money to push your agenda? 315 00:11:37,256 --> 00:11:38,256 Nice digs. 316 00:11:38,390 --> 00:11:39,424 Yeah, well, you know, 317 00:11:39,558 --> 00:11:40,975 if they're gonna keep us chained to our desks, 318 00:11:41,093 --> 00:11:43,228 the least they can do is give us a view, right? 319 00:11:43,345 --> 00:11:44,596 - Oh, my God. - Hey, Rosie? 320 00:11:44,763 --> 00:11:45,930 Who are these from? 321 00:11:46,065 --> 00:11:48,266 They're from Josh Groban. 322 00:11:48,350 --> 00:11:51,069 What? Oh, my gosh, the Grobes? 323 00:11:51,186 --> 00:11:52,904 Oh, I'm a huge Grobanite. 324 00:11:52,988 --> 00:11:55,406 Apparently he saw you in the "40 under 40" article 325 00:11:55,491 --> 00:11:57,108 and wants to take you to dinner. Josh Groban? 326 00:11:57,243 --> 00:12:00,278 - Josh Groban? - Wow. 40 under 40, nice. 327 00:12:00,362 --> 00:12:04,082 It is PR puffery, but it is good for business. 328 00:12:04,166 --> 00:12:05,166 Thanks, Rosie. 329 00:12:05,251 --> 00:12:06,284 Okay, if you're gonna pass on him, 330 00:12:06,418 --> 00:12:07,585 I'll take sloppy seconds. 331 00:12:07,703 --> 00:12:09,287 I bet I could make that voice drop at least an octave. 332 00:12:09,371 --> 00:12:10,955 Huh? 333 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,590 Oh, you're not laughing? 334 00:12:12,708 --> 00:12:14,792 You got some bad news? 335 00:12:14,927 --> 00:12:15,927 Yeah. 336 00:12:15,961 --> 00:12:17,712 I looked through your financials, 337 00:12:17,796 --> 00:12:20,265 and, honey, you are rich on paper, 338 00:12:20,349 --> 00:12:21,966 but you're very cash-poor. 339 00:12:22,101 --> 00:12:23,268 I know that the bakery money 340 00:12:23,385 --> 00:12:25,225 is--is tied up in the new store and everything, 341 00:12:25,354 --> 00:12:26,971 but what about the--the savings? 342 00:12:27,106 --> 00:12:29,440 Well, obviously a chunk of it went into the horses. 343 00:12:29,558 --> 00:12:31,109 - Horses? - Mm-hmm. 344 00:12:31,193 --> 00:12:33,978 No, I'm sorry. There's got to be some kind of mistake. 345 00:12:34,063 --> 00:12:35,280 I-I don't horse. 346 00:12:35,364 --> 00:12:37,982 Well, then why do you own six thoroughbreds 347 00:12:38,067 --> 00:12:39,901 on your stud farm in Kentucky? 348 00:12:41,904 --> 00:12:43,655 Stud what? 349 00:12:43,789 --> 00:12:45,156 Hi. 350 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,375 Oh, great. 351 00:12:47,493 --> 00:12:48,576 Abby. 352 00:12:48,711 --> 00:12:49,661 - Hi. - Don't get up. Don't get up. 353 00:12:49,828 --> 00:12:51,996 - Amanda, Huffington Post. - Sorry. Hi. 354 00:12:52,131 --> 00:12:53,665 I'm sorry. I was stuck in a meeting... 355 00:12:53,799 --> 00:12:55,833 - No, it's okay. - All about you, my dear. 356 00:12:55,918 --> 00:12:57,302 Me? 357 00:12:57,386 --> 00:12:58,553 Wow. My article just came out. 358 00:12:58,671 --> 00:13:00,838 I guess that's what happens when you trend. 359 00:13:01,006 --> 00:13:04,175 Well, you are now trending with Arianna, 360 00:13:04,310 --> 00:13:05,593 because she really loved your piece. 361 00:13:05,678 --> 00:13:08,146 Arianna Huffington? 362 00:13:08,263 --> 00:13:10,231 We were all impressed with how you bounced back 363 00:13:10,349 --> 00:13:11,683 from that YouTube fiasco. 364 00:13:11,817 --> 00:13:13,851 - Oh, did she see that? - Everybody did. 365 00:13:13,986 --> 00:13:15,570 It could have been a career killer, 366 00:13:15,688 --> 00:13:17,689 but you owned it. 367 00:13:17,823 --> 00:13:18,940 Advocating for divorce-- 368 00:13:19,074 --> 00:13:21,025 I mean, that took some serious balls. 369 00:13:21,110 --> 00:13:23,161 Yeah. 370 00:13:23,245 --> 00:13:26,948 Tell me, please, was the bow-tie penis story true? 371 00:13:27,032 --> 00:13:29,701 That is hilarious. From balls to penis. 372 00:13:29,835 --> 00:13:31,002 That's my segue. 373 00:13:31,086 --> 00:13:32,704 I know. That's a wonderful segue. 374 00:13:32,838 --> 00:13:34,372 Yes, it is a true story, 375 00:13:34,506 --> 00:13:36,424 and, in fact, it was a hot-pink bow tie 376 00:13:36,542 --> 00:13:39,961 on a rather engorged, uh, uncircumcised... 377 00:13:40,045 --> 00:13:41,379 reddish penis. 378 00:13:41,463 --> 00:13:42,823 I wouldn't have gone with hot pink. 379 00:13:42,931 --> 00:13:44,048 - That's so crazy. - That's not the right color. 380 00:13:44,133 --> 00:13:45,183 It's not his color. 381 00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:46,467 That is just perfect, perfect, perfect. 382 00:13:46,552 --> 00:13:48,553 That's what we want, your unique take 383 00:13:48,721 --> 00:13:51,389 on the whole divorce dating landscape-- 384 00:13:51,523 --> 00:13:52,890 The good, the bad, and the ugly, 385 00:13:53,058 --> 00:13:57,228 raw, sexy, uncensored Abby McCarthy. 386 00:13:57,312 --> 00:13:59,864 Raw, sexy, uncensored, wow. 387 00:13:59,982 --> 00:14:00,982 We love it. 388 00:14:01,116 --> 00:14:03,701 We're thinking front-page promotion 389 00:14:03,819 --> 00:14:08,239 and making you editor-at-large, Huff Post Divorce. 390 00:14:09,274 --> 00:14:11,542 Um, that's incredible. Wow. 391 00:14:11,627 --> 00:14:13,745 I-I don't know what to say. 392 00:14:13,879 --> 00:14:17,415 You are having a moment. 393 00:14:17,549 --> 00:14:20,752 If I were you, I'd say yes. 394 00:14:28,427 --> 00:14:30,144 - Hi. - Hey. 395 00:14:30,262 --> 00:14:33,097 What's going on? Did somebody die? 396 00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:36,434 Lilly's been getting bullied at school. 397 00:14:36,518 --> 00:14:38,519 What? Why? What happened? 398 00:14:38,654 --> 00:14:40,321 I don't understand why this is such a big deal. 399 00:14:40,439 --> 00:14:41,739 It's a big deal becau-- 400 00:14:44,359 --> 00:14:45,610 Jake? 401 00:14:45,744 --> 00:14:47,445 There's a list going around school, 402 00:14:47,579 --> 00:14:49,781 a slut list, and Lilly's on it. 403 00:14:49,915 --> 00:14:50,948 Oh, my God. 404 00:14:50,950 --> 00:14:52,950 *** 405 00:14:52,951 --> 00:14:53,740 Charlie! 406 00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:55,190 *** 407 00:15:01,249 --> 00:15:02,416 What are you talking about? 408 00:15:02,441 --> 00:15:05,018 Look, the parents are talking about the Huffington Post article, 409 00:15:05,085 --> 00:15:06,502 just like they used to talk about your books 410 00:15:06,637 --> 00:15:07,837 and our kids' poops and colics, 411 00:15:08,005 --> 00:15:10,139 except now it's ten dates in two days 412 00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:11,808 and an electric sexual encounter 413 00:15:11,926 --> 00:15:13,810 and a penis cheater with a bow tie. 414 00:15:14,094 --> 00:15:15,928 So it's my fault? 415 00:15:16,046 --> 00:15:17,263 - Abby-- - That's not fair. 416 00:15:17,381 --> 00:15:18,965 Abby, the parents talk. The kids aren't deaf. 417 00:15:19,049 --> 00:15:20,550 I don't want to fight about this, 418 00:15:20,634 --> 00:15:22,351 'cause I'm gonna call the principal, 419 00:15:22,436 --> 00:15:23,636 and I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. 420 00:15:23,770 --> 00:15:25,721 Good, and in the mean-- Abby? 421 00:15:25,856 --> 00:15:27,190 And in the meantime, 422 00:15:27,307 --> 00:15:29,358 I think you need to lay off the 50 Shades of Abby Shit. 423 00:15:29,443 --> 00:15:30,893 While we have a daughter in high school. 424 00:15:30,978 --> 00:15:32,195 Well, that's gonna be a little difficult, 425 00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:36,282 because Arianna Huffington read my "column of shame," 426 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:37,567 and she loved it, 427 00:15:37,701 --> 00:15:39,735 and she's offered me a full-time gig. 428 00:15:39,903 --> 00:15:42,288 Okay, I think that is a really, really bad idea. 429 00:15:42,406 --> 00:15:44,624 Well, I think I really, really need to pay 430 00:15:44,741 --> 00:15:46,075 for the crack in the foundation, 431 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,440 and I think I really need to pay 432 00:15:47,461 --> 00:15:50,880 for your "$8 billion a month" spousal support. 433 00:15:50,998 --> 00:15:52,215 Hey, keep your voice down. 434 00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:54,250 Horses! 435 00:15:54,384 --> 00:15:57,553 Goddamn, motherfrickin' horses. 436 00:16:00,424 --> 00:16:03,059 I don't understand. Why would Frumpkis buy six horses? 437 00:16:03,143 --> 00:16:04,310 We went to a renaissance fair once. 438 00:16:04,428 --> 00:16:05,678 He nearly keeled over from an asthma attack. 439 00:16:05,812 --> 00:16:07,013 It doesn't make any sense. 440 00:16:10,684 --> 00:16:11,934 You know what? 441 00:16:12,019 --> 00:16:14,153 The important thing is... 442 00:16:14,271 --> 00:16:16,155 what are you gonna do? 443 00:16:16,273 --> 00:16:17,773 I told Delia to keep on digging. 444 00:16:17,908 --> 00:16:19,442 I want to know every cent that son of a bitch 445 00:16:19,576 --> 00:16:21,661 has spent or hidden in the past five years. 446 00:16:21,778 --> 00:16:22,995 Mm. 447 00:16:23,113 --> 00:16:25,081 Mm. 448 00:16:25,199 --> 00:16:26,582 Zooey's got to nail that interview now. 449 00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:28,334 She's got to nail it. 450 00:16:28,452 --> 00:16:31,787 No big checks for a while. 451 00:16:31,872 --> 00:16:33,122 - You want this? - Mm-mm. 452 00:16:33,257 --> 00:16:35,017 A couple of bites of high fructose corn syrup 453 00:16:35,125 --> 00:16:36,565 and all your troubles will disappear. 454 00:16:36,593 --> 00:16:37,793 I have my corn syrup. 455 00:16:37,928 --> 00:16:40,680 Good for you. Skinny bitch. 456 00:16:45,636 --> 00:16:47,720 I brought the hall of shame on to my family, Jo. 457 00:16:47,804 --> 00:16:49,722 Oh, come on. 458 00:16:52,025 --> 00:16:56,362 Did my piece put Lilly on the slut list? 459 00:16:58,315 --> 00:16:59,365 Am I the slut? 460 00:16:59,483 --> 00:17:01,317 Definitely not. 461 00:17:01,485 --> 00:17:02,702 You're not even sleeping with a man. 462 00:17:02,819 --> 00:17:04,153 You're sleeping with a manuscript. 463 00:17:04,288 --> 00:17:05,408 You've got to call this guy, 464 00:17:05,539 --> 00:17:07,456 or you've got to read this or something. 465 00:17:07,541 --> 00:17:09,792 Are you afraid it's bad? 466 00:17:09,876 --> 00:17:11,711 Who cares? What, are you gonna marry the guy? 467 00:17:11,828 --> 00:17:14,330 Come on, just call him. 468 00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:18,000 There's one more cupcake downstairs. 469 00:17:18,168 --> 00:17:20,169 I'm gonna split it with you. 470 00:17:20,304 --> 00:17:21,887 No, I won't. It's all mine. 471 00:17:22,005 --> 00:17:23,639 I'm on a Frumpkis bender. 472 00:17:23,724 --> 00:17:24,924 Yes! 473 00:17:28,262 --> 00:17:29,262 That was amazing. 474 00:17:29,346 --> 00:17:30,730 Ford, you were so smooth and sexy, 475 00:17:30,848 --> 00:17:32,816 you could sell those Coke guys a Sprite. 476 00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:36,085 What did you call us-- Next-gen urban locavores? 477 00:17:36,103 --> 00:17:37,437 Oh, that's just marketing BS. 478 00:17:37,571 --> 00:17:39,439 It was you two that they loved. 479 00:17:39,573 --> 00:17:42,108 Phoebe's passion for reclaiming space 480 00:17:42,192 --> 00:17:44,777 and your thoughts on health-oriented social justice-- 481 00:17:44,945 --> 00:17:46,112 They ate that stuff up. 482 00:17:46,196 --> 00:17:48,915 Ford, thank you for putting all this together, man. 483 00:17:49,033 --> 00:17:50,366 Hey, thank this lady. 484 00:17:50,501 --> 00:17:52,035 All right, I need to get to it. 485 00:17:52,169 --> 00:17:53,586 - Mwah, mwah. - Thank you for everything. 486 00:17:53,670 --> 00:17:55,371 Look forward to working together 487 00:17:55,506 --> 00:17:57,673 and go kick some hydroponic butt. 488 00:17:57,791 --> 00:17:59,375 Oh, my God, we have to go celebrate. 489 00:17:59,510 --> 00:18:00,760 Please, can we celebrate? 490 00:18:00,878 --> 00:18:02,345 Why-- What is that face? 491 00:18:02,463 --> 00:18:04,797 Does the signage have to say Homegrown... 492 00:18:04,965 --> 00:18:06,485 - Oh, my God. - Presented by Coca-Cola? 493 00:18:06,517 --> 00:18:08,384 Marco, please, please. 494 00:18:08,519 --> 00:18:11,554 Sometimes you have to give a little to get a lot. 495 00:18:12,689 --> 00:18:13,806 You're right, Phoebe. 496 00:18:13,941 --> 00:18:16,893 Thank you for-- For what Ford said. 497 00:18:16,977 --> 00:18:19,896 I mean, your passion is-- It's incredible. 498 00:18:21,899 --> 00:18:23,733 Whoa. Um... 499 00:18:23,867 --> 00:18:25,985 - Oh, wow. - Phoebe, I'm sorry. 500 00:18:26,070 --> 00:18:28,204 Did I give a-- The wrong vibe? 501 00:18:28,322 --> 00:18:30,706 No, you did not--did not give the wrong vibe. 502 00:18:30,824 --> 00:18:31,824 I'm sorry. 503 00:18:31,959 --> 00:18:34,827 Um, I'm gonna go. 504 00:18:36,630 --> 00:18:38,247 I am such an idiot. Oh, my God. 505 00:18:40,167 --> 00:18:42,885 You've reached Max McCarthy and McCarthy Landscapes. 506 00:18:43,003 --> 00:18:44,303 Please leave a message. 507 00:18:44,388 --> 00:18:45,838 Hey, babe, it's me again. 508 00:18:45,923 --> 00:18:47,140 Give me a ring. 509 00:18:57,518 --> 00:19:01,354 The Getty Center? 510 00:19:01,522 --> 00:19:02,688 I don't care if your client is from Bordeaux. 511 00:19:02,856 --> 00:19:04,023 My client gets half the wine cellar, 512 00:19:04,158 --> 00:19:08,027 or you will see my smiling face in court. 513 00:19:10,614 --> 00:19:11,614 Gordon Beech is holding. 514 00:19:11,698 --> 00:19:12,782 Thanks. 515 00:19:20,374 --> 00:19:21,457 Yes? 516 00:19:21,542 --> 00:19:24,127 So I understand playing hard to get, 517 00:19:24,261 --> 00:19:25,678 but this is getting a little silly, don't you think? 518 00:19:25,796 --> 00:19:26,796 I'm not playing. 519 00:19:26,930 --> 00:19:28,631 - I'm mulling. - Take a risk. 520 00:19:28,765 --> 00:19:30,049 In my profession, 521 00:19:30,184 --> 00:19:33,853 we learn to evaluate the risks and act accordingly. 522 00:19:33,971 --> 00:19:35,555 Fine. 523 00:19:35,689 --> 00:19:37,356 Evaluate your risks 524 00:19:37,474 --> 00:19:41,227 with me on the most beautiful beach in the world. 525 00:19:41,361 --> 00:19:42,862 The plane leaves Friday night. 526 00:19:42,980 --> 00:19:44,780 I'll pick you up at 8:00. 527 00:19:44,898 --> 00:19:45,898 Say yes... 528 00:19:45,949 --> 00:19:46,949 or yes. 529 00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:48,117 Maybe. 530 00:19:48,235 --> 00:19:49,402 You know, in 20 years, 531 00:19:49,570 --> 00:19:50,953 you're going to be more disappointed by the things 532 00:19:51,071 --> 00:19:53,456 you didn't do than the ones you did. 533 00:19:53,574 --> 00:19:54,740 That's Mark Twain. 534 00:19:54,908 --> 00:19:56,742 Yes. 535 00:19:56,910 --> 00:19:59,745 But it's also me. 536 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,581 I'm just asking you to give us a chance. 537 00:20:04,885 --> 00:20:06,752 Your persistence is charming. 538 00:20:06,887 --> 00:20:09,422 I'll take that as an "I'll see you then." 539 00:20:16,980 --> 00:20:18,648 - This just came by messenger. - Oh. 540 00:20:18,765 --> 00:20:20,233 It's from the PI you put on Frumpkis. 541 00:20:20,317 --> 00:20:21,837 Great. That was fast. 542 00:20:26,181 --> 00:20:27,964 Oh, no. 543 00:20:28,025 --> 00:20:29,358 As you know, we have zero tolerance 544 00:20:29,493 --> 00:20:30,776 for bullying here at the Center. 545 00:20:30,861 --> 00:20:31,861 That's great, Vicki. 546 00:20:31,912 --> 00:20:33,696 So what exactly are you doing about this? 547 00:20:33,830 --> 00:20:35,114 Okay. 548 00:20:35,249 --> 00:20:37,116 We've already done our own investigation. 549 00:20:37,201 --> 00:20:39,619 We know who's behind the stunt. 550 00:20:39,786 --> 00:20:41,037 Unfortunately, this cyber activity took place 551 00:20:41,171 --> 00:20:42,955 off school campus, 552 00:20:43,090 --> 00:20:44,330 so we have limited jurisdiction. 553 00:20:44,374 --> 00:20:45,625 - Jurisdiction? - What does that mean? 554 00:20:45,792 --> 00:20:47,877 The list hasn't been distributed on campus. 555 00:20:48,011 --> 00:20:49,428 No school computers were used. 556 00:20:49,513 --> 00:20:52,715 We've issued a stern warning, and we've contacted the parents, 557 00:20:52,799 --> 00:20:53,799 but otherwise, 558 00:20:53,850 --> 00:20:54,967 our hands are tied. 559 00:20:55,135 --> 00:20:57,019 Your hands are tied. How much tuition do we pay here? 560 00:20:57,137 --> 00:20:58,354 - It's a lot of money, isn't it? - Yeah. 561 00:20:58,472 --> 00:21:01,224 In situations like this, we find it most effective 562 00:21:01,308 --> 00:21:03,226 if the families sit down together, 563 00:21:03,310 --> 00:21:05,561 talk it through, make it a teachable moment. 564 00:21:05,646 --> 00:21:08,147 The teachable moment is when the school expels the person 565 00:21:08,282 --> 00:21:09,615 responsible for the slut list. 566 00:21:09,733 --> 00:21:11,200 O-Okay, so we will take it from here. 567 00:21:11,318 --> 00:21:12,652 You tell us who's responsible. 568 00:21:12,736 --> 00:21:14,620 We will contact the parents ourselves. 569 00:21:14,705 --> 00:21:15,905 Fine. 570 00:21:15,989 --> 00:21:19,325 The so-called slut list was created by Dorie Klein, 571 00:21:20,609 --> 00:21:22,778 Nate and Karen Klein's daughter. 572 00:21:22,813 --> 00:21:23,929 Perhaps you know them. 573 00:21:26,083 --> 00:21:27,800 I believe we do. 574 00:21:41,821 --> 00:21:43,689 - Hey. - Hey. 575 00:21:46,276 --> 00:21:47,961 All right, Lilly, let's go. 576 00:21:49,029 --> 00:21:50,863 Do we really have to do this? 577 00:21:50,947 --> 00:21:52,581 Yes, Lilly, we really have to. 578 00:21:52,699 --> 00:21:53,859 Sticking your head in the sand 579 00:21:53,867 --> 00:21:55,117 isn't gonna make the problem go away. 580 00:21:55,201 --> 00:21:56,803 Come on, sweetie. 581 00:21:58,338 --> 00:22:00,706 Just so I'm clear about what I'm getting myself into here, 582 00:22:00,790 --> 00:22:04,009 does Mrs. Nate know about the cyber relationship? 583 00:22:04,127 --> 00:22:06,128 No. No. 584 00:22:06,262 --> 00:22:07,796 I don't think so. 585 00:22:07,931 --> 00:22:09,765 You don't thi-- 586 00:22:09,883 --> 00:22:11,266 Jake, Abby. 587 00:22:11,384 --> 00:22:12,718 - Hey. - Hey. 588 00:22:25,148 --> 00:22:26,482 It was lovely getting to know you, Zooey. 589 00:22:26,566 --> 00:22:27,783 Likewise, Ms. Barrows. 590 00:22:27,901 --> 00:22:30,536 Ms. Frumpkis, thank you so much for the pastries. 591 00:22:30,653 --> 00:22:32,404 - They were delicious. - Hernández-Frumpkis. 592 00:22:32,572 --> 00:22:33,906 Yes, you're so very welcome. 593 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:35,874 So when can Zooey start officially? 594 00:22:35,959 --> 00:22:37,960 Well, I'm afraid I have some disappointing news. 595 00:22:38,078 --> 00:22:39,758 After speaking with the board this morning, 596 00:22:39,879 --> 00:22:43,382 it seems we can't accommodate a new student mid-semester. 597 00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:45,751 We'd be more than happy to view her application 598 00:22:45,885 --> 00:22:47,252 again for next fall. 599 00:22:47,420 --> 00:22:48,504 The board? 600 00:22:48,588 --> 00:22:49,838 Would that be the same moms 601 00:22:49,923 --> 00:22:52,558 who run the fund-raising committee, by any chance? 602 00:22:52,642 --> 00:22:54,927 Thank you, Ms. Barrows. We'll be sure to do that. 603 00:22:55,095 --> 00:22:57,763 It was such a pleasure meeting you. 604 00:23:03,269 --> 00:23:06,271 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby. 605 00:23:06,356 --> 00:23:08,941 It's okay, Mom. I can always homeschool until September. 606 00:23:09,025 --> 00:23:10,576 Yeah, of course. 607 00:23:10,693 --> 00:23:13,779 Of course. It'll be easy. 608 00:23:25,625 --> 00:23:27,292 What's going on, Delia? 609 00:23:29,596 --> 00:23:31,713 What kind of info? 610 00:23:31,798 --> 00:23:33,215 I'm glad we're having this conversation in person. 611 00:23:33,299 --> 00:23:35,884 I mean, it just--you know, it makes it so much more civilized. 612 00:23:35,969 --> 00:23:38,720 Exactly, because things can just get lost in translation 613 00:23:38,855 --> 00:23:40,055 when people aren't in the same room. 614 00:23:40,140 --> 00:23:41,356 Exactly. 615 00:23:41,474 --> 00:23:43,475 Much better than the phone or texting, 616 00:23:43,610 --> 00:23:44,610 right, Abby? 617 00:23:48,648 --> 00:23:50,315 Yeah. 618 00:23:51,951 --> 00:23:55,537 Okay, so, this is-- This is going well so far. 619 00:23:55,655 --> 00:23:59,291 We have some cookies and some tea and kids, 620 00:23:59,375 --> 00:24:02,744 and here we are, talking all civilized, 621 00:24:02,829 --> 00:24:04,580 like a couple of members of the Directors' Guild 622 00:24:04,664 --> 00:24:05,831 trying to hash through a tough scene. 623 00:24:05,965 --> 00:24:07,382 - Right, Jake? - Yeah. 624 00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:10,002 And one Oscar between them. 625 00:24:10,170 --> 00:24:11,637 Right. 626 00:24:11,754 --> 00:24:13,088 Anyway, we talked to Dorie, 627 00:24:13,173 --> 00:24:16,008 and it seems it was just bad judgment on her part. 628 00:24:16,176 --> 00:24:17,309 I'm sorry. 629 00:24:17,393 --> 00:24:19,061 It wasn't a big deal. I took it down. 630 00:24:19,179 --> 00:24:20,562 That's great. Thank you, Dorie. 631 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,431 I still think that this is a teachable moment, though. 632 00:24:22,565 --> 00:24:24,600 I think we should talk about why it's so offensive 633 00:24:24,684 --> 00:24:25,767 to call girls sluts. 634 00:24:25,902 --> 00:24:27,352 - Oh, my God, Mom, seriously. - Lilly, it is-- 635 00:24:27,487 --> 00:24:28,607 When you call a girl a slut, 636 00:24:28,655 --> 00:24:30,022 you make her feel bad about her sexuality, 637 00:24:30,106 --> 00:24:32,107 and there is nothing wrong with female sexuality. 638 00:24:32,242 --> 00:24:33,275 This is not happening. 639 00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:34,993 I couldn't agree more, Abby. 640 00:24:35,111 --> 00:24:37,529 Thank you so much. 641 00:24:37,664 --> 00:24:41,033 Although the word could be appropriate to describe, 642 00:24:41,201 --> 00:24:45,337 say, a woman who had broken up a marriage or something. 643 00:24:49,125 --> 00:24:52,094 I don't know. Can a third party really break up a marriage 644 00:24:52,212 --> 00:24:54,346 that's not already broken? 645 00:24:54,430 --> 00:24:55,681 Thank you. That's right. 646 00:24:55,765 --> 00:24:57,349 And that's just another form of shaming, isn't it? 647 00:24:57,467 --> 00:24:58,550 Shaming, exactly. 648 00:24:59,769 --> 00:25:02,187 Even if the woman had sex with a married man? 649 00:25:11,564 --> 00:25:12,648 Well, Dorie's apologized-- 650 00:25:12,732 --> 00:25:14,233 Hold on. Hold on one second. 651 00:25:14,367 --> 00:25:16,618 Can I ask you a quick writing question? 652 00:25:16,736 --> 00:25:17,953 Sure. 653 00:25:18,071 --> 00:25:19,404 Okay, so let's say you got a writing partner, 654 00:25:19,489 --> 00:25:20,539 and you guys are texting 655 00:25:20,657 --> 00:25:23,992 for, like, a year, working on a project. 656 00:25:24,127 --> 00:25:25,911 I was under the impression that that script 657 00:25:26,045 --> 00:25:29,248 never actually got made. 658 00:25:29,382 --> 00:25:30,382 Am I wrong? 659 00:25:30,383 --> 00:25:33,252 - Oh, it got made. - Really? 660 00:25:33,419 --> 00:25:36,722 I-I never saw it, but I heard it was a huge flop. 661 00:25:36,806 --> 00:25:39,391 Huh. 662 00:25:39,509 --> 00:25:41,593 It was a great script. It was a terrible movie. 663 00:25:41,728 --> 00:25:45,147 Well, see, I didn't know a movie had actually gotten made. 664 00:25:45,265 --> 00:25:46,732 Me neither, Jake. 665 00:25:46,849 --> 00:25:48,934 One of the people wasn't supposed to be working 666 00:25:49,068 --> 00:25:51,687 outside the studio system. 667 00:25:51,771 --> 00:25:54,656 Well, I was told that person was free to do independent work. 668 00:25:54,774 --> 00:25:56,108 What movie? 669 00:25:56,192 --> 00:26:00,495 You know, sometimes an actor will leave a project 670 00:26:00,613 --> 00:26:04,416 only to realize that he has made a terrible mistake. 671 00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:06,952 Sean Connery, for example, 007-- 672 00:26:07,036 --> 00:26:10,289 I mean, he took a little hiatus, worked on a few other projects, 673 00:26:10,423 --> 00:26:12,791 only to come back to the role 674 00:26:12,875 --> 00:26:17,296 that he really loved, James Bond. 675 00:26:19,349 --> 00:26:21,550 Can Lilly and I go now? 676 00:26:27,390 --> 00:26:28,941 Do you think maybe it would have been a good idea 677 00:26:29,058 --> 00:26:30,642 to tell me you had slept with the guy? 678 00:26:30,810 --> 00:26:32,477 - Really? - We were already separated. 679 00:26:32,562 --> 00:26:34,780 - That's not the point. - It wasn't relevant. 680 00:26:34,864 --> 00:26:35,948 Okay, so just so I know, there's Nate. 681 00:26:36,032 --> 00:26:37,149 There's the handsome guy from the garage. 682 00:26:37,283 --> 00:26:39,651 How many guys from the article did you bang? 683 00:26:40,954 --> 00:26:42,871 Maybe I slept with all of them. 684 00:26:42,989 --> 00:26:44,589 It's none of your goddamn business, Jake. 685 00:26:44,624 --> 00:26:46,024 You are unbelievable. You know that? 686 00:26:46,159 --> 00:26:48,076 Really? 687 00:26:48,161 --> 00:26:49,795 Hey, Jo. 688 00:26:54,751 --> 00:26:56,718 So what did you do today? 689 00:26:56,836 --> 00:26:59,054 School stuff, mostly--PTA, 690 00:26:59,172 --> 00:27:02,341 more gridlock in Congress on banning 691 00:27:02,425 --> 00:27:03,675 apple juice. 692 00:27:03,810 --> 00:27:07,579 Huh. So what were you doing at the Getty? 693 00:27:09,515 --> 00:27:11,733 I was working up a bid on a project. 694 00:27:11,851 --> 00:27:15,237 They're redoing a piece of that south terrace. 695 00:27:15,355 --> 00:27:16,938 Okay, wow. That's a big deal. 696 00:27:17,073 --> 00:27:19,358 - Mm-hmm. - Why didn't you tell me? 697 00:27:19,525 --> 00:27:21,193 Who knows how many bids they're getting? 698 00:27:21,327 --> 00:27:22,861 Probably a long shot, and you were-- 699 00:27:22,996 --> 00:27:24,363 You were checking up on me. 700 00:27:24,447 --> 00:27:27,249 No, no, no. I was concerned when you didn't answer. 701 00:27:27,367 --> 00:27:28,367 - "Concerned"? - Yes. 702 00:27:28,501 --> 00:27:30,919 When two calls went to voice mail? 703 00:27:31,037 --> 00:27:32,254 What is going on with you? 704 00:27:38,544 --> 00:27:40,178 Okay, fine. 705 00:27:40,296 --> 00:27:44,633 Look, the guy who brought me in at the Getty is Duncan Hawley. 706 00:27:44,717 --> 00:27:47,636 Duncan Hawley, the pretty one that we met at Outfest? 707 00:27:47,770 --> 00:27:49,388 - Mm-hmm. - Well, how'd that happen? 708 00:27:49,522 --> 00:27:52,140 Ran into him while you were away, and-- 709 00:27:52,275 --> 00:27:53,355 - You broke the rules. - No. 710 00:27:53,393 --> 00:27:56,395 Rule one, no screwing anybody we both know. 711 00:27:56,479 --> 00:27:57,946 Shh! 712 00:27:58,064 --> 00:28:00,449 I didn't screw him. I just kissed him. 713 00:28:00,566 --> 00:28:02,286 Then I stopped it. It'll never happen again. 714 00:28:02,402 --> 00:28:04,870 He understands, and he's offering me an opportunity. 715 00:28:04,954 --> 00:28:06,872 Yes, because he's trying to screw you. 716 00:28:06,989 --> 00:28:08,073 So it's inconceivable 717 00:28:08,207 --> 00:28:09,875 that he would be interested in me for my talent? 718 00:28:09,992 --> 00:28:11,152 - I didn't say that. - Really? 719 00:28:11,244 --> 00:28:14,746 'Cause it sure as shit sounded like that. 720 00:28:23,723 --> 00:28:25,173 Okay, what--I don't understand what's happening. 721 00:28:25,308 --> 00:28:27,342 Is this still about the horse farm? 722 00:28:27,477 --> 00:28:30,062 The horse farm is just the tip of the iceberg made of shit. 723 00:28:30,146 --> 00:28:31,146 And lies. 724 00:28:31,180 --> 00:28:32,564 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 725 00:28:32,682 --> 00:28:35,851 A "lieberg" that is a marriage certificate 726 00:28:35,985 --> 00:28:39,521 from Kentucky, 2010. 727 00:28:39,605 --> 00:28:44,493 Oh, my God. "Robert Frumpkis and Charlene Rae Vinson"? 728 00:28:44,610 --> 00:28:45,827 Jesus. 729 00:28:45,945 --> 00:28:49,164 My husband is a polygamist Colonel Sanders 730 00:28:49,282 --> 00:28:53,535 living in Kentucky with his equestrian wife, Charlene. 731 00:28:53,619 --> 00:28:55,859 How does this happen? How do you keep a secret like this? 732 00:28:55,922 --> 00:28:57,372 Business trips in London. 733 00:28:57,457 --> 00:28:59,291 All those times I took him to the airport, 734 00:28:59,425 --> 00:29:01,042 I thought he was going to Heathrow. 735 00:29:01,177 --> 00:29:04,045 He was going to Louisville. 736 00:29:04,130 --> 00:29:06,882 Louisville, huh? 737 00:29:06,966 --> 00:29:08,600 I don't know what I'm gonna tell Zooey. 738 00:29:08,684 --> 00:29:10,969 No, no. You're not gonna tell Zooey right now, okay? 739 00:29:11,137 --> 00:29:12,437 We're gonna focus on you. 740 00:29:12,555 --> 00:29:14,356 We're gonna get you through this, Jo. 741 00:29:14,474 --> 00:29:18,310 Uh, it's open, come in. 742 00:29:18,444 --> 00:29:19,644 - Hey, Pheebs. - Hey. 743 00:29:19,812 --> 00:29:20,979 Come on in. 744 00:29:21,114 --> 00:29:22,647 I'm humiliated. 745 00:29:22,815 --> 00:29:24,816 Join the goddamn club. 746 00:29:24,984 --> 00:29:27,319 What--what's going on with you? 747 00:29:27,453 --> 00:29:30,405 Um, my husband has a second family. 748 00:29:30,490 --> 00:29:32,324 - What? - Mm-hmm, yeah. 749 00:29:32,408 --> 00:29:34,075 - Crazy. - He lives in Kentucky. 750 00:29:34,210 --> 00:29:35,544 Oh, my God. 751 00:29:35,661 --> 00:29:38,497 - Hillbilly horse people. - You win, mama. 752 00:29:38,581 --> 00:29:39,998 - Yeah. - You know what? 753 00:29:40,133 --> 00:29:43,301 My mom always said when life gives you lemons, 754 00:29:43,419 --> 00:29:45,170 drink whiskey. 755 00:29:45,304 --> 00:29:46,671 - Mmm. - That is good advice. 756 00:29:50,143 --> 00:29:51,843 - It's an earthquake. - Yeah. 757 00:29:52,011 --> 00:29:55,514 Charlie, Lilly, get under something! 758 00:29:55,681 --> 00:29:58,767 - Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God! - Oh, my God. 759 00:29:58,851 --> 00:30:01,269 Zooey, baby, it's gonna be okay! 760 00:30:01,404 --> 00:30:04,156 - Oh, Jesus! - Oh, my God! 761 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:05,357 - Kids? - Zooey? 762 00:30:05,491 --> 00:30:08,860 Oh, my God. 763 00:30:09,145 --> 00:30:10,812 Shit. 764 00:30:12,370 --> 00:30:14,187 - Kids? - Mama, mama, mama. 765 00:30:14,238 --> 00:30:15,922 - Charlie. - That was crazy. 766 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:17,707 Yes, it was crazy. 767 00:30:17,842 --> 00:30:19,542 - Lilly, how are you? - Fine. 768 00:30:19,677 --> 00:30:20,593 That was a big one, I know. 769 00:30:20,711 --> 00:30:22,379 Watch the glass. There's a lot of glass. 770 00:30:22,546 --> 00:30:23,763 Phoebe, where are your kids? 771 00:30:23,881 --> 00:30:25,715 Oh, they're in New York, thank God, with Ralf. 772 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:26,883 Oh, my God, Abby, 773 00:30:27,018 --> 00:30:28,351 the power's out in the whole neighborhood. 774 00:30:28,469 --> 00:30:30,387 I cannot believe you guys live in this hell mouth. 775 00:30:30,554 --> 00:30:32,055 We are seconds away from something biblical. 776 00:30:32,189 --> 00:30:34,941 Soon it's gonna be--it's gonna be locusts and cattle disease. 777 00:30:35,059 --> 00:30:37,394 - Jo. - Mama, I'm scared. 778 00:30:37,478 --> 00:30:38,478 Are you scared? 779 00:30:38,562 --> 00:30:39,896 I'm okay. We're okay. 780 00:30:40,031 --> 00:30:41,871 We're fine. We're all together. It's just dark. 781 00:30:41,899 --> 00:30:43,199 I don't like the dark. 782 00:30:43,317 --> 00:30:44,901 I know, sweetheart. I know. 783 00:30:44,986 --> 00:30:46,069 But you know what we're gonna do? 784 00:30:46,153 --> 00:30:47,871 We're gonna have an earthquake party. 785 00:30:47,989 --> 00:30:50,073 - Ooh. - Yeah. 786 00:30:50,241 --> 00:30:51,681 What's an earthquake party? 787 00:30:51,742 --> 00:30:54,411 We're gonna get your tent, and we are gonna build a fort 788 00:30:54,545 --> 00:30:56,496 all over the middle of this living room, 789 00:30:56,630 --> 00:30:59,549 and you can use my phone light. How about that? 790 00:30:59,667 --> 00:31:02,969 Lilly, will you and Zooey go get the sleeping bags? 791 00:31:03,087 --> 00:31:04,721 Help them out with that. I'm gonna sweep. 792 00:31:04,839 --> 00:31:05,922 - Phoebe? - Yeah? 793 00:31:06,090 --> 00:31:08,758 - The Dustbuster, somewhere in the closet. - Okay. 794 00:31:08,926 --> 00:31:10,510 My foot's bleeding like I'm in a Monty Python sketch. 795 00:31:10,594 --> 00:31:11,895 Oh, we got a flesh wound, good one. 796 00:31:12,013 --> 00:31:13,013 - Oh. - Over here. 797 00:31:13,064 --> 00:31:14,397 Okay, Phoebe, you help me with Jo. 798 00:31:14,482 --> 00:31:16,232 Delia, underneath the kitchen sink 799 00:31:16,317 --> 00:31:18,268 is a bunch of emergency lanterns and stuff like that, 800 00:31:18,352 --> 00:31:20,603 and can you keep an eye on Charlie while I fix Jo? 801 00:31:20,771 --> 00:31:22,572 - Have fun. - Worst day of my frickin' life. 802 00:31:22,656 --> 00:31:25,658 - Okay, I've got all kinds of-- - Delia doesn't do kids. 803 00:31:25,776 --> 00:31:27,494 Let me light your pathway. There you go. 804 00:31:27,611 --> 00:31:29,696 I can give you emergency stitches. 805 00:31:29,780 --> 00:31:31,197 I won't really do that. 806 00:31:32,450 --> 00:31:33,450 Do you like camping? 807 00:31:37,171 --> 00:31:38,538 I'm just cleaning, so don't panic. 808 00:31:38,622 --> 00:31:39,672 This isn't the hard part. 809 00:31:39,790 --> 00:31:41,510 - Grab my hand. - Make sure the light stays. 810 00:31:41,542 --> 00:31:42,759 Yeah. 811 00:31:42,843 --> 00:31:44,377 - I blew it with Marco. - What? 812 00:31:44,512 --> 00:31:45,795 I know. 813 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,798 We had this amazing meeting, and what do I do after? I-- 814 00:31:48,933 --> 00:31:50,383 You kissed him? 815 00:31:50,518 --> 00:31:52,018 Oh, my God, am I that predictable? 816 00:31:52,136 --> 00:31:54,437 - You are. - Ugh. 817 00:31:54,555 --> 00:31:55,972 Man, Lyla would give me so much shit for that. 818 00:31:56,057 --> 00:31:57,357 Lyla would smack you in the head. 819 00:31:57,475 --> 00:31:59,809 She would. She always said I led with my "vagine." 820 00:31:59,894 --> 00:32:01,861 Ugh. Can we just say vagina? 821 00:32:01,979 --> 00:32:04,230 No, because the vagina goes to the doctor 822 00:32:04,315 --> 00:32:05,732 and delivers babies. 823 00:32:05,866 --> 00:32:09,285 The "vagine" is, like, this magical... 824 00:32:09,403 --> 00:32:11,454 power source, 825 00:32:11,539 --> 00:32:13,623 or it's your sensuality. 826 00:32:13,707 --> 00:32:15,742 Both have to be balanced to stay in harmony. 827 00:32:15,876 --> 00:32:17,410 Huh. I've never really heard 828 00:32:17,545 --> 00:32:19,579 the Dalai Lama express that theory before. 829 00:32:21,382 --> 00:32:22,965 I need to stop leading with sex. 830 00:32:23,083 --> 00:32:24,167 I need to start leading with me. 831 00:32:24,301 --> 00:32:26,753 I just--the me part is very elusive. 832 00:32:26,837 --> 00:32:29,339 Honey, you know what? You are kicking ass. 833 00:32:29,473 --> 00:32:30,723 - You really are. - Thank you. 834 00:32:30,808 --> 00:32:32,925 You know, and old habits die-- Okay, wait a minute. 835 00:32:33,010 --> 00:32:34,811 I think this is the last one. Okay, yeah. 836 00:32:34,928 --> 00:32:36,646 Ready? One, two, three. Out. 837 00:32:36,764 --> 00:32:40,650 Thank God. I've had enough of this earnest bullshit. 838 00:32:40,768 --> 00:32:43,653 My husband has a second family, 839 00:32:43,771 --> 00:32:46,939 and I need to get trashed. 840 00:32:47,074 --> 00:32:48,574 Don't marry the bastard in the first place. 841 00:32:48,659 --> 00:32:50,026 That's your next HuffPo article. 842 00:32:50,110 --> 00:32:51,611 Yeah, that sounds good. 843 00:32:51,695 --> 00:32:53,830 There's not gonna be any more HuffPo articles, 844 00:32:53,947 --> 00:32:56,949 not if it's gonna destroy my daughter's life. 845 00:32:59,119 --> 00:33:02,672 Emases Nepo! 846 00:33:02,790 --> 00:33:04,123 What was that? 847 00:33:04,258 --> 00:33:06,626 It means "open sesame" backwards. 848 00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:08,928 You have to say it to get in. 849 00:33:09,046 --> 00:33:11,881 Emases Nepo! 850 00:33:11,965 --> 00:33:15,518 Ow. 851 00:33:15,636 --> 00:33:17,270 Oh, God, what is that smell? 852 00:33:17,388 --> 00:33:19,055 Chad's farts. 853 00:33:19,139 --> 00:33:20,139 Who's Chad? 854 00:33:20,274 --> 00:33:22,608 - My imaginary friend. - Oh. 855 00:33:22,693 --> 00:33:25,111 He's afraid of the dark. 856 00:33:25,195 --> 00:33:27,480 How do you stop being afraid of something? 857 00:33:29,116 --> 00:33:31,818 I don't know. I guess you, um... 858 00:33:31,902 --> 00:33:34,620 make yourself do that thing 859 00:33:34,705 --> 00:33:36,656 that you're afraid of, and then you realize 860 00:33:36,790 --> 00:33:40,493 you're not afraid anymore. 861 00:33:41,962 --> 00:33:43,663 You just thought you were. 862 00:33:43,831 --> 00:33:45,748 What are you afraid of? 863 00:33:47,751 --> 00:33:49,669 Commitment. 864 00:33:50,921 --> 00:33:53,172 That's stupid. 865 00:33:56,593 --> 00:33:58,978 How come girls don't have penises? 866 00:34:03,183 --> 00:34:04,183 - Abby? - Hey. Hey. 867 00:34:04,184 --> 00:34:05,401 - Hey. - Everything's fine. 868 00:34:05,519 --> 00:34:06,936 - Is everything okay? - Yes, everything's fine. 869 00:34:07,020 --> 00:34:08,404 They're-- They're in the tent. 870 00:34:08,522 --> 00:34:10,523 Oh, my God, I must have broken 100 traffic laws getting here. 871 00:34:10,691 --> 00:34:12,024 I know how Charlie gets afraid of the dark. 872 00:34:12,159 --> 00:34:13,159 He's okay. 873 00:34:13,193 --> 00:34:14,327 I brought a bunch of flashlights. 874 00:34:14,411 --> 00:34:15,528 He's fine. He's good. Everybody's good. 875 00:34:15,662 --> 00:34:16,579 We have our phone flashlights, Dad. 876 00:34:16,697 --> 00:34:18,080 All right, good job, pal. 877 00:34:18,198 --> 00:34:19,758 I have the emergency kits. I have water. 878 00:34:19,783 --> 00:34:21,033 Okay, did you--did you remember to turn off the gas? 879 00:34:21,201 --> 00:34:22,535 'Cause you've got to get the gas off. 880 00:34:22,619 --> 00:34:23,699 Everything's under control. 881 00:34:23,787 --> 00:34:25,621 - You put it to the left? - Yes. 882 00:34:25,706 --> 00:34:27,540 - Okay. I see that. Good. Good. - It's scary. 883 00:34:27,624 --> 00:34:29,425 It's scary, I know. 884 00:34:29,543 --> 00:34:31,377 - A big earthquake. - Yeah. 885 00:34:31,512 --> 00:34:32,879 Okay. 886 00:34:33,046 --> 00:34:34,213 All: Yay! 887 00:34:34,381 --> 00:34:36,132 - Mazel tov. - Daddy comes, 888 00:34:36,216 --> 00:34:38,968 and then the lights come on. 889 00:34:39,052 --> 00:34:41,270 All right, Charlie, go get your PJs on. 890 00:34:41,388 --> 00:34:44,106 No, Dad! Earthquakes are fun! 891 00:34:44,224 --> 00:34:45,691 Come in the tent with me. 892 00:34:45,776 --> 00:34:47,193 Your dad's not staying. 893 00:35:01,924 --> 00:35:04,259 Hmm. 894 00:35:06,883 --> 00:35:08,683 THE DESCENT 895 00:35:12,284 --> 00:35:13,234 Hi. 896 00:35:13,319 --> 00:35:14,602 What's up? 897 00:35:14,770 --> 00:35:18,773 Um, Mom, there's something I haven't told you. 898 00:35:23,946 --> 00:35:25,613 But you promise not to be mad? 899 00:35:25,748 --> 00:35:28,783 Um, I can't promise that, but I will try. 900 00:35:30,836 --> 00:35:33,788 Um, what happened at school wasn't your fault... 901 00:35:33,923 --> 00:35:35,373 - Mm. - 'Cause... 902 00:35:35,957 --> 00:35:38,026 I put myself on the slut list. 903 00:35:39,010 --> 00:35:40,362 What? 904 00:35:41,797 --> 00:35:43,064 Why would you do that? 905 00:35:43,098 --> 00:35:44,799 You're getting mad. 906 00:35:47,102 --> 00:35:48,553 Why would you do that? 907 00:35:48,687 --> 00:35:52,307 'Cause boys like girls who they think do stuff. 908 00:35:52,441 --> 00:35:54,225 Oh, my God, that is so backwards. 909 00:35:54,310 --> 00:35:58,980 Lilly, that whole list is so backwards. 910 00:35:59,714 --> 00:36:03,284 Boys may think they like girls who do stuff, 911 00:36:03,369 --> 00:36:06,905 but nine times out of ten, they prefer girls who don't do stuff, 912 00:36:06,989 --> 00:36:09,073 and they don't know that until they do stuff 913 00:36:09,158 --> 00:36:10,491 with girls who don't do stuff. 914 00:36:10,626 --> 00:36:12,243 I mean, there are definitely guys who like girls 915 00:36:12,328 --> 00:36:14,579 who do do stuff. 916 00:36:14,663 --> 00:36:16,831 So am I supposed to do stuff or not do stuff? 917 00:36:16,916 --> 00:36:19,667 No, no, no, look, it's totally fine if you do do stuff, 918 00:36:19,802 --> 00:36:21,920 but you are way too young to do stuff right now. 919 00:36:22,004 --> 00:36:23,504 Sex is complicated. 920 00:36:23,589 --> 00:36:26,591 It can be so great when it's with the right person, 921 00:36:26,675 --> 00:36:29,155 and it can be absolute shit when it's with the wrong person, 922 00:36:29,228 --> 00:36:32,146 and I'm sorry I used that word, but it really is that bad. 923 00:36:34,066 --> 00:36:37,735 Look, any guy who likes you 924 00:36:37,820 --> 00:36:41,856 because you are on that list is the wrong guy, 925 00:36:41,940 --> 00:36:43,241 exclamation point, 926 00:36:43,325 --> 00:36:46,110 exclamation point, exclamation point. 927 00:36:48,197 --> 00:36:49,614 I read your article. 928 00:36:49,748 --> 00:36:51,082 You did? 929 00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:53,501 Did you--did you have sex with all those guys 930 00:36:53,619 --> 00:36:54,752 who you wrote about? 931 00:36:54,837 --> 00:36:56,454 No, of course not. 932 00:36:56,622 --> 00:36:59,290 Okay. All the moms were talking. 933 00:36:59,424 --> 00:37:02,927 I'll bet they were. I'm not surprised. 934 00:37:04,513 --> 00:37:07,048 It doesn't matter. 935 00:37:07,132 --> 00:37:10,968 People aren't always gonna be happy with my choices or yours, 936 00:37:11,103 --> 00:37:13,054 and that is not what matters. 937 00:37:13,078 --> 00:37:15,128 What matters is that you make choices 938 00:37:15,140 --> 00:37:18,476 that are right for you and not out of fear, you know. 939 00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:22,063 That's what matters. 940 00:37:22,147 --> 00:37:23,447 I think you should write the column, then. 941 00:37:23,532 --> 00:37:24,532 You do? 942 00:37:24,616 --> 00:37:26,317 - Mm-hmm. - Why? 943 00:37:26,485 --> 00:37:28,619 Because you shouldn't be slut shamed. 944 00:37:33,158 --> 00:37:35,459 That's the most incredible thing 945 00:37:35,544 --> 00:37:37,128 any daughter could say to a mother-- 946 00:37:37,212 --> 00:37:39,247 "You shouldn't be slut shamed." 947 00:37:39,331 --> 00:37:41,582 I love you. 948 00:37:41,667 --> 00:37:42,667 Don't worry. 949 00:37:42,801 --> 00:37:44,135 Go to bed. 950 00:37:44,219 --> 00:37:46,137 - Sweet dreams. - Night. 951 00:37:46,221 --> 00:37:48,673 Good night. 952 00:37:55,063 --> 00:37:57,603 Okay, Will, show me what you got. 953 00:38:04,673 --> 00:38:05,673 Marco? 954 00:38:07,159 --> 00:38:08,159 Hi. 955 00:38:08,727 --> 00:38:09,795 Phoebe. 956 00:38:10,779 --> 00:38:13,781 Um, first of all, I was out of line, 957 00:38:13,865 --> 00:38:16,033 and I-I want to apologize. 958 00:38:16,168 --> 00:38:20,037 It's a tic, and I'm-- I'm working on it. 959 00:38:20,122 --> 00:38:21,839 So I hope you can forgive me. 960 00:38:23,592 --> 00:38:25,710 - Okay. - Okay. 961 00:38:25,794 --> 00:38:28,679 And second of all, I just got off the phone with Ford. 962 00:38:28,764 --> 00:38:31,098 Coke is willing to eliminate the signage for the pilot project. 963 00:38:31,216 --> 00:38:33,100 After that, it'll be a case-by-case basis. 964 00:38:33,218 --> 00:38:34,552 I think it's a pretty good deal, 965 00:38:34,686 --> 00:38:36,554 but you have to be comfortable with it. 966 00:38:36,688 --> 00:38:38,689 So, if you are, great. 967 00:38:38,774 --> 00:38:41,525 If you're not, I get it. 968 00:38:41,610 --> 00:38:43,561 Questions? 969 00:38:43,695 --> 00:38:45,730 Um... 970 00:38:45,897 --> 00:38:47,365 no. 971 00:38:47,449 --> 00:38:49,951 Are we good? 972 00:38:50,068 --> 00:38:51,319 We are. 973 00:38:51,453 --> 00:38:54,121 Cool. 974 00:39:01,747 --> 00:39:04,415 The Hernández-Frumpkis lacrosse field? 975 00:39:04,499 --> 00:39:06,467 Are you serious? How did that happen? 976 00:39:06,585 --> 00:39:08,336 - Oh, Delia's a genius. - I know she is. 977 00:39:08,420 --> 00:39:11,422 Since Rob's marriage to Charlene Rae Vinson ain't legal... 978 00:39:11,556 --> 00:39:12,590 Yeah? 979 00:39:12,674 --> 00:39:15,309 Guess who owns half the frickin' horses, baby? 980 00:39:15,427 --> 00:39:16,427 - Oh, my God. - Oh, yeah. 981 00:39:16,511 --> 00:39:17,951 Did you donate a horse to the school? 982 00:39:18,063 --> 00:39:20,147 I sold a horse, and I donated the proceeds 983 00:39:20,265 --> 00:39:22,183 to get my baby into this snobby joint. 984 00:39:22,267 --> 00:39:24,101 Sold two more, pocketed the cash. 985 00:39:24,186 --> 00:39:25,987 Who knew there was a horse section on eBay? 986 00:39:26,104 --> 00:39:27,264 - That's incredible. - Mm-hmm. 987 00:39:27,272 --> 00:39:28,439 F you, Rob Frumpkis. 988 00:39:28,573 --> 00:39:31,275 Yes, all the way to the bank, apparently. 989 00:39:31,410 --> 00:39:32,943 Go get 'em, baby. 990 00:39:33,028 --> 00:39:34,863 Have fun, girls. 991 00:39:35,447 --> 00:39:37,201 The things we do for our kids. 992 00:39:50,462 --> 00:39:52,430 Sorry about the traffic, Mr. Beech. 993 00:39:52,514 --> 00:39:54,465 We should be at Miss Banai's house in about ten minutes. 994 00:39:58,770 --> 00:40:01,406 SORRY CAN'T MAKE IT. GO WITHOUT ME... 995 00:40:02,890 --> 00:40:04,609 Never mind, Tom. 996 00:40:04,893 --> 00:40:06,260 Just take me home. 997 00:40:20,659 --> 00:40:21,909 Hi. 998 00:40:24,830 --> 00:40:26,297 She lives. 999 00:40:28,500 --> 00:40:31,118 - Your book... - Oh. 1000 00:40:34,005 --> 00:40:35,591 It's phenomenal. 1001 00:40:37,008 --> 00:40:38,509 I mean, I never knew that stuff about, you know, 1002 00:40:38,643 --> 00:40:41,679 the details of the Sherpas' lives and--and Nepal. 1003 00:40:41,847 --> 00:40:44,932 But more than that, the writing-- 1004 00:40:47,352 --> 00:40:49,588 You are so talented, Will. 1005 00:40:51,273 --> 00:40:52,658 I'm glad you liked it. 1006 00:40:54,526 --> 00:40:57,361 I've been an ass. I've been a-- 1007 00:40:57,496 --> 00:41:00,164 A douche-y, insecure, immature ass, 1008 00:41:00,282 --> 00:41:02,867 and I guess I just... 1009 00:41:03,001 --> 00:41:04,585 Panicked? 1010 00:41:04,703 --> 00:41:07,671 I panicked. 1011 00:41:07,789 --> 00:41:09,874 Yeah. 1012 00:41:10,041 --> 00:41:11,375 I know you say the whole age thing 1013 00:41:11,510 --> 00:41:14,211 doesn't mean anything to you, but... 1014 00:41:18,183 --> 00:41:21,102 I-- Maybe it's my fear. 1015 00:41:21,219 --> 00:41:22,803 I see myself through your eyes, 1016 00:41:22,888 --> 00:41:25,856 and I just think, "Why?" 1017 00:41:25,941 --> 00:41:26,941 Why? 1018 00:41:26,975 --> 00:41:28,861 You could have anybody you want. 1019 00:41:31,146 --> 00:41:32,897 Abby, clearly... 1020 00:41:33,031 --> 00:41:35,900 you don't see yourself through my eyes, 1021 00:41:36,034 --> 00:41:37,803 because if you did... 1022 00:41:39,538 --> 00:41:41,304 you wouldn't act like such an idiot. 1023 00:42:17,098 --> 00:42:21,598 Sync and corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com