1 00:00:00,116 --> 00:00:01,950 Previously on Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce... 2 00:00:02,034 --> 00:00:04,968 My Infant Fabuleux press preview's tomorrow. 3 00:00:05,003 --> 00:00:06,586 You have to tell me if this is stupid. 4 00:00:06,704 --> 00:00:08,255 I think it's beneath you. 5 00:00:08,373 --> 00:00:10,124 - Just admit you're bored. - No, no, no, no, no. 6 00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,928 There's a big difference between being bored 7 00:00:12,043 --> 00:00:12,926 and being suffocated. 8 00:00:13,011 --> 00:00:14,344 I want to sleep with you. 9 00:00:14,462 --> 00:00:16,797 You're the one that wants to sleep with everyone else. 10 00:00:16,898 --> 00:00:18,432 Jo, I thought you were coming tonight. 11 00:00:18,550 --> 00:00:19,933 Eh, I decided not to lose the day. 12 00:00:20,051 --> 00:00:21,969 - Hey. - Hi. I wish I knew. 13 00:00:22,137 --> 00:00:23,137 You don't have to say it. 14 00:00:23,271 --> 00:00:25,472 I wish I was in the right place for you. 15 00:00:25,857 --> 00:00:27,140 I'm not the one who told you to tell 16 00:00:27,225 --> 00:00:28,585 the world you were full of shit. 17 00:00:28,693 --> 00:00:30,060 Do I need to remind you 18 00:00:30,194 --> 00:00:32,229 that I don't know where our next dollar's coming from? 19 00:00:32,313 --> 00:00:33,780 I'm in real trouble. 20 00:00:33,898 --> 00:00:35,732 - I left Frumpkis. - What? 21 00:00:35,867 --> 00:00:36,867 For... 22 00:00:36,868 --> 00:00:38,902 good this time. 23 00:00:39,037 --> 00:00:41,738 That's why Zooey's coming down. 24 00:00:41,873 --> 00:00:43,051 We're starting over. 25 00:00:45,765 --> 00:00:51,500 RULE # 32 F-YOU, ROB FRUMPKIS! 26 00:00:51,683 --> 00:00:53,834 I'm not getting sucked in again. 27 00:00:53,985 --> 00:00:56,586 No, you crossed the line, Frumpkis! 28 00:00:56,721 --> 00:00:59,089 Zooey's moving out here because you are in no shape to be-- 29 00:00:59,257 --> 00:01:01,992 - Shh! Keep it down. - What's that in the background? 30 00:01:02,093 --> 00:01:03,427 You're gonna wake everybody up. 31 00:01:03,561 --> 00:01:04,561 Are you watching porn? 32 00:01:04,562 --> 00:01:05,729 Oh, my God. 33 00:01:05,847 --> 00:01:07,431 The whole household can hear you. 34 00:01:07,565 --> 00:01:10,183 Okay, you sick mother-- I'm hanging up. 35 00:01:10,268 --> 00:01:11,748 - Unbelievable. - Everybody hears you. 36 00:01:11,819 --> 00:01:13,153 I hear this moaning and this music 37 00:01:13,271 --> 00:01:14,855 and then some dude yelling, "I want to come on your tits." 38 00:01:14,989 --> 00:01:16,773 Lilly coming down the stairs. 39 00:01:16,858 --> 00:01:18,825 Good morning, sweetheart. How did you sleep? 40 00:01:18,943 --> 00:01:20,160 What's with all the yelling? 41 00:01:20,278 --> 00:01:22,446 Lilly, let me tell you a few things about men, okay? 42 00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:24,281 They are beasts led around by a one-eyed snake. 43 00:01:24,365 --> 00:01:27,534 And that is the opinion of one very angry woman. 44 00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:29,453 Lilly, don't forget that Jo's daughter, 45 00:01:29,537 --> 00:01:30,577 Zooey, is coming to visit. 46 00:01:31,589 --> 00:01:33,290 Yeah, you told me, like, a million times. 47 00:01:33,374 --> 00:01:34,958 Stop calling me! 48 00:01:35,093 --> 00:01:39,429 Lose my number, you disgusting pervert! 49 00:01:39,564 --> 00:01:42,265 "Yeah, you disgusting pervert." 50 00:01:42,383 --> 00:01:46,536 Wow. I didn't know that Horny knew that kind of language. 51 00:01:46,637 --> 00:01:47,804 Well, his name is Horny. 52 00:01:47,939 --> 00:01:50,524 Chad teaches Horny a lot of bad words, Mama. 53 00:01:50,641 --> 00:01:51,775 Does he? 54 00:01:51,859 --> 00:01:54,728 Can I go watch TV now? 55 00:01:54,862 --> 00:01:55,812 You can watch one program. 56 00:01:55,897 --> 00:01:57,230 - Yeah! - Drink your juice. 57 00:01:57,365 --> 00:01:59,983 - Come back for breakfast. - Okay. 58 00:02:00,118 --> 00:02:02,285 - Let me ask you something. - Yeah. 59 00:02:02,420 --> 00:02:03,987 Is Frumpkis on the same page as you 60 00:02:04,155 --> 00:02:05,455 about Zooey being in California? 61 00:02:05,540 --> 00:02:06,556 Not exactly. 62 00:02:06,657 --> 00:02:07,741 He doesn't even know what day it is. 63 00:02:07,825 --> 00:02:09,993 Then you need to get with a lawyer on that. 64 00:02:10,161 --> 00:02:11,361 My friend Lyla, when she left-- 65 00:02:11,412 --> 00:02:14,664 Oh, yeah, what happened to her? Where is she? 66 00:02:14,749 --> 00:02:16,383 Oh, my God, are you kidding? 67 00:02:16,501 --> 00:02:19,386 I have told you that 8,000 times, but your head 68 00:02:19,504 --> 00:02:20,504 is always on the screen. 69 00:02:20,638 --> 00:02:21,671 You need to actually 70 00:02:21,806 --> 00:02:23,089 look up once in a while, 71 00:02:23,224 --> 00:02:25,759 maybe make eye contact with somebody. 72 00:02:25,843 --> 00:02:27,310 There's no fighting it. 73 00:02:27,395 --> 00:02:28,728 Our children are cyborgs. 74 00:02:28,846 --> 00:02:30,147 Robots are taking over the world. 75 00:02:30,231 --> 00:02:31,681 But don't worry, because the robots 76 00:02:31,766 --> 00:02:34,151 are gonna round up all the old folks like me and your mom. 77 00:02:34,235 --> 00:02:36,115 They're gonna grind us into food for the Asians. 78 00:02:36,237 --> 00:02:40,524 That is terrifying and racist all at the same time. 79 00:02:40,691 --> 00:02:42,567 - That was impressive. - I try my best. 80 00:02:44,484 --> 00:02:48,484 Sync and corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 81 00:02:48,917 --> 00:02:52,202 Jesus, even watching you put clothes on makes me hard. 82 00:02:53,788 --> 00:02:56,039 Everything makes you hard. 83 00:02:56,174 --> 00:02:57,291 Hey, gorgeous, 84 00:02:57,458 --> 00:03:01,795 I was in a sexless marriage for almost 11 years. 85 00:03:01,930 --> 00:03:04,348 Velcro makes me hard. 86 00:03:10,471 --> 00:03:12,973 I'd ask you to come back to bed, but you'll probably say no. 87 00:03:13,057 --> 00:03:15,275 I can't. 88 00:03:15,393 --> 00:03:17,728 - Courtney knows about us. - What? 89 00:03:17,862 --> 00:03:19,313 Why didn't you say something? 90 00:03:19,447 --> 00:03:20,814 I wanted to tell you, 91 00:03:20,915 --> 00:03:23,900 but we weren't doing much talking last night. 92 00:03:23,985 --> 00:03:25,319 She threatened to go to Albert 93 00:03:25,453 --> 00:03:26,820 unless we give up the Asian market. 94 00:03:26,988 --> 00:03:28,455 What did she say exactly? 95 00:03:28,539 --> 00:03:31,625 Among other things, that she'd have me disbarred. 96 00:03:31,709 --> 00:03:33,026 Well, screw her. 97 00:03:33,127 --> 00:03:35,245 Tell her to do her worst. 98 00:03:35,396 --> 00:03:38,248 Gordon, her worst is to have me disbarred, 99 00:03:38,383 --> 00:03:39,916 and there goes my career. 100 00:03:40,051 --> 00:03:41,084 And anyway, what ever happened to, 101 00:03:41,169 --> 00:03:42,502 "who gives a shit about Korea?" 102 00:03:42,637 --> 00:03:43,877 I don't, but I do give a shit 103 00:03:43,972 --> 00:03:45,505 about that woman pushing us around. 104 00:03:45,590 --> 00:03:46,870 And you don't even need a career. 105 00:03:46,924 --> 00:03:49,276 - You have me now. - Excuse me? 106 00:03:49,394 --> 00:03:51,428 I love my job, and even if I didn't, 107 00:03:51,562 --> 00:03:52,896 what, you're gonna take care of me 108 00:03:53,047 --> 00:03:56,016 and pay for the life that you've ruined? 109 00:03:56,184 --> 00:03:57,351 No, thank you. 110 00:03:57,485 --> 00:04:00,187 Delia, listen. 111 00:04:05,827 --> 00:04:07,944 Wow. Look at that. Does she eat? 112 00:04:08,079 --> 00:04:12,749 L.A., it's just so relentless-- The sun, the sky, the color, 113 00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:14,968 skinny, sexy--where do the depressed people go? 114 00:04:15,036 --> 00:04:17,371 Oh, they're all depressed. They're just heavily medicated. 115 00:04:17,538 --> 00:04:19,039 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 116 00:04:19,173 --> 00:04:20,707 I just want my kid. I need my kid. 117 00:04:20,842 --> 00:04:22,362 Your kid's not even gonna recognize me. 118 00:04:22,427 --> 00:04:23,927 I haven't seen her since she was, like, six years old. 119 00:04:24,045 --> 00:04:25,595 Oh, she will recognize you. She's got a lot on the ball. 120 00:04:25,713 --> 00:04:26,963 Trust me, she's my brain. 121 00:04:27,098 --> 00:04:28,515 She reminds me when my pap smears are, seriously. 122 00:04:28,633 --> 00:04:31,101 I wouldn't tell people that. Hello? Warren? 123 00:04:31,219 --> 00:04:32,552 Hi. 124 00:04:32,687 --> 00:04:35,022 Abby, everyone's still buzzing here about your pitch. 125 00:04:35,156 --> 00:04:37,140 Really? That's so exciting. 126 00:04:37,291 --> 00:04:38,725 Look, an editor at Huffpo loved it-- 127 00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:41,812 The whole train-wreck post-split Abby angle. 128 00:04:41,946 --> 00:04:43,980 - Well, that's not really-- - They want you to do a piece. 129 00:04:44,065 --> 00:04:45,449 Ten dates in two days-- 130 00:04:45,566 --> 00:04:47,406 Really play up the whole dating disaster angle. 131 00:04:47,502 --> 00:04:49,903 Go big on the shock value, the funny. 132 00:04:50,071 --> 00:04:51,405 Yeah, but that sounds so gimmicky. 133 00:04:51,489 --> 00:04:52,906 It pays $1,500, 134 00:04:53,074 --> 00:04:55,208 and the Huffpo divorce section is huge. 135 00:04:55,326 --> 00:04:56,966 You impress them, you get your own column. 136 00:04:56,994 --> 00:05:00,080 You're back in a big way-- Books, TV. 137 00:05:00,214 --> 00:05:01,965 Think about it. 138 00:05:02,083 --> 00:05:04,084 Okay. 139 00:05:04,218 --> 00:05:05,919 - He hung up? - That's what they do. 140 00:05:06,087 --> 00:05:10,223 Um, Huff Post wants me to date ten losers in two days. 141 00:05:10,324 --> 00:05:11,558 I could do that in my sleep. 142 00:05:11,676 --> 00:05:13,360 I don't want to write about wacky dating. 143 00:05:13,428 --> 00:05:14,908 I want to be more authentic, you know? 144 00:05:14,929 --> 00:05:17,597 Well, you'll be authentic when you get your own column. 145 00:05:17,682 --> 00:05:20,901 In the meantime, bullshit. 146 00:05:20,985 --> 00:05:22,736 ♪ Bullshit ♪ 147 00:05:32,947 --> 00:05:34,664 Hi. 148 00:05:34,749 --> 00:05:37,000 Hi. 149 00:05:37,084 --> 00:05:38,451 We're at an impasse. 150 00:05:38,536 --> 00:05:40,003 Yep. 151 00:05:40,121 --> 00:05:43,590 So let's solve it the way we used to back in the day. 152 00:05:43,708 --> 00:05:45,091 Okay. 153 00:05:45,209 --> 00:05:47,260 Rock, paper, scissors? 154 00:05:47,378 --> 00:05:50,930 N--uh, you, me, scotch. Scotch. 155 00:05:51,048 --> 00:05:52,966 Later, once the kids are at school, 156 00:05:53,050 --> 00:05:57,354 and we don't leave the table until we agree. 157 00:05:57,471 --> 00:05:58,605 Done. 158 00:05:58,723 --> 00:06:00,390 Good. 159 00:06:00,558 --> 00:06:01,891 How much? 160 00:06:02,026 --> 00:06:04,227 $5,000 in child support and $5,000 in spousal. 161 00:06:04,362 --> 00:06:05,495 - Dollars? - Yeah. 162 00:06:05,629 --> 00:06:07,063 - A year? - A month. 163 00:06:07,198 --> 00:06:08,782 - A month? - I know. 164 00:06:08,899 --> 00:06:09,866 But look, believe it or not, 165 00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:11,568 Jake could have asked for a lot more. 166 00:06:11,652 --> 00:06:14,070 These were the figures that were generated by DissoMaster. 167 00:06:14,205 --> 00:06:16,039 What is the DissoMaster? 168 00:06:16,123 --> 00:06:17,907 It's the state-generated support guidelines 169 00:06:18,042 --> 00:06:19,242 that the courts use. 170 00:06:19,326 --> 00:06:21,611 And they call it the DissoMaster? 171 00:06:21,746 --> 00:06:23,480 What is it, the master of diss? 172 00:06:23,614 --> 00:06:24,881 That is ridiculous. 173 00:06:24,965 --> 00:06:26,565 Honey, you made a lot of money last year. 174 00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:27,834 Last year, yes, 175 00:06:27,968 --> 00:06:30,920 but this year I would be lucky to make half of what I-- 176 00:06:31,005 --> 00:06:32,172 It puts the heat on. I know. 177 00:06:32,306 --> 00:06:33,757 We have to negotiate this. 178 00:06:33,891 --> 00:06:36,426 Jake can't expect me to spend $10,000 a month on him. 179 00:06:38,345 --> 00:06:39,229 Of course. 180 00:06:39,313 --> 00:06:40,597 That's just their opening salvo. 181 00:06:40,681 --> 00:06:42,982 But child support is what it is. 182 00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:45,485 It's five grand a month. 183 00:06:45,603 --> 00:06:47,987 Ugh. 184 00:06:51,776 --> 00:06:54,096 Do you know ten awful guys who might be willing to date me? 185 00:06:55,659 --> 00:06:57,376 Can we just talk about what a heel he is? 186 00:06:57,377 --> 00:06:58,795 Because I'm just ready to punch Jake so hard, 187 00:06:58,912 --> 00:07:01,330 - he's gonna be shit teeth. - I love it when you get all aggro on my behalf. 188 00:07:01,448 --> 00:07:03,382 - Mama. - Hi, hi, hi. 189 00:07:03,484 --> 00:07:04,617 - Okay. - How are you? 190 00:07:04,752 --> 00:07:06,002 - Can you believe it? - I'm so sorry. 191 00:07:06,136 --> 00:07:07,503 I got your message. 192 00:07:07,588 --> 00:07:09,555 This little Princess right here, she's in sticker shock. 193 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:10,760 I'm homicidal. 194 00:07:10,841 --> 00:07:12,401 Would an $8 tomato make you feel better? 195 00:07:12,426 --> 00:07:14,477 - Mm. - I say we get wasted right now. 196 00:07:14,595 --> 00:07:16,345 Just get out of this ridiculous cornucopia 197 00:07:16,430 --> 00:07:18,314 and to the nearest bar. 198 00:07:18,682 --> 00:07:20,016 Lovely, but I have to focus. 199 00:07:20,117 --> 00:07:22,518 This is work. I need to find ten horrible dates 200 00:07:22,652 --> 00:07:23,652 for my Huffpo piece. 201 00:07:23,687 --> 00:07:25,187 Point me to the Internet. Hello? 202 00:07:25,322 --> 00:07:26,739 I have a sixth sense for finding terrible men. 203 00:07:26,857 --> 00:07:28,190 What about Will? 204 00:07:28,325 --> 00:07:29,825 I mean, he's not horrible, but his dates start great 205 00:07:29,943 --> 00:07:32,528 and end in bar fights, tears, drama. 206 00:07:32,662 --> 00:07:34,363 Oh, no, I don't want to do that to him. 207 00:07:34,498 --> 00:07:35,965 Why not? He likes you. 208 00:07:36,066 --> 00:07:37,867 I'm sure he'd be willing to help. 209 00:07:38,001 --> 00:07:39,468 It's like Doom Face always says, 210 00:07:39,586 --> 00:07:42,505 when you see a door open, you just walk right through it. 211 00:07:42,622 --> 00:07:45,007 - "Doom Face"? - Life coach. Mine. 212 00:07:45,092 --> 00:07:46,212 - What? - Yeah, that's right. 213 00:07:46,293 --> 00:07:48,594 I know. I know. But she's the best. 214 00:07:48,712 --> 00:07:49,912 - I can't believe it. - I know. 215 00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:52,581 Ever since I ditched the jewelry line, I just-- 216 00:07:52,716 --> 00:07:56,685 I need a little guidance, career-wise, life-wise. 217 00:07:56,803 --> 00:07:58,938 She's having me interface more with Anouk and Luco. 218 00:07:59,056 --> 00:08:00,106 - I love that. - Yeah. 219 00:08:00,223 --> 00:08:03,692 And get this, big news-- Man-cation. 220 00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:05,027 No dating. 221 00:08:05,112 --> 00:08:08,030 Nothing until I find my own path. 222 00:08:08,148 --> 00:08:09,588 - This is very good advice. - I know. 223 00:08:09,616 --> 00:08:10,900 - Very good. - I know. You know what? 224 00:08:11,034 --> 00:08:12,618 I already--I'm feeling more focused. 225 00:08:12,736 --> 00:08:14,570 - I can see it. - More grounded. 226 00:08:14,704 --> 00:08:16,572 Yeah. 227 00:08:16,706 --> 00:08:17,790 Yeah. 228 00:08:17,908 --> 00:08:18,908 Where are my children? 229 00:08:18,909 --> 00:08:20,242 - You came with your... - Oh, my God. 230 00:08:20,327 --> 00:08:21,877 - Children. Oh, my God. - Anouk? Luco? 231 00:08:21,995 --> 00:08:23,079 I-- They're just so bad. 232 00:08:23,246 --> 00:08:24,547 - I'll go this way. - Wait. I'm sorry. 233 00:08:24,631 --> 00:08:25,748 I'm gonna go this way. 234 00:08:25,832 --> 00:08:27,333 - You have kids? - Luco. 235 00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:29,748 Robbie, go ahead and grab another case off the truck. 236 00:08:29,753 --> 00:08:31,637 You two... 237 00:08:31,755 --> 00:08:34,340 I said no nightshade veggies, 238 00:08:34,424 --> 00:08:37,059 and when you walk with Mama, you have to keep up. 239 00:08:37,177 --> 00:08:38,861 I hate to break it to you, but I think these two 240 00:08:38,979 --> 00:08:40,419 just ate their weight in nightshades. 241 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,264 Oh. Oh. 242 00:08:42,399 --> 00:08:45,017 Uh, we're just trying a new system of eating, 243 00:08:45,152 --> 00:08:46,435 so it doesn't matter. 244 00:08:46,570 --> 00:08:48,104 You know, none of my business, 245 00:08:48,238 --> 00:08:50,519 but how can eating organic heritage vegetables of any kind 246 00:08:50,524 --> 00:08:51,690 be bad for them? 247 00:08:51,775 --> 00:08:55,327 They have allergies, so we're on an elimination diet. 248 00:08:55,445 --> 00:09:00,032 Ah, well, now you'll know if they're sensitive to tomatoes. 249 00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:02,118 How about broccoli? They like broccoli. 250 00:09:02,285 --> 00:09:03,452 Do you have any broccoli? 251 00:09:03,537 --> 00:09:07,289 Yep, big old pile of broccoli right there. 252 00:09:07,424 --> 00:09:09,291 I will take one of those heads of broccoli. 253 00:09:09,459 --> 00:09:10,543 You pick. 254 00:09:13,630 --> 00:09:17,633 Perfect. That's a perfect piece of broccoli. 255 00:09:23,023 --> 00:09:24,773 "Homegrown Urban Farm. 256 00:09:24,858 --> 00:09:27,943 "An urban farm working with recovering addicts 257 00:09:28,028 --> 00:09:29,478 to give them employable skills." 258 00:09:29,613 --> 00:09:30,613 Really? 259 00:09:30,647 --> 00:09:32,148 Yeah, really. 260 00:09:32,315 --> 00:09:34,366 You know, getting clean isn't just about not using. 261 00:09:34,484 --> 00:09:36,986 It's about finding a new joy and purpose. 262 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:38,370 A lot of them find that here with us. 263 00:09:38,488 --> 00:09:39,855 - Kids are found. - Oh. 264 00:09:39,956 --> 00:09:41,290 That's fantastic. Great. 265 00:09:41,374 --> 00:09:42,658 - Cute. - Awesome. 266 00:09:42,742 --> 00:09:44,827 Oh, there they go again, the slippery little shits. 267 00:09:44,961 --> 00:09:45,995 Oh, my God. 268 00:09:46,163 --> 00:09:47,496 This is, um, my new-- 269 00:09:47,664 --> 00:09:49,215 - Marco. Yeah. - Yeah, Marco. 270 00:09:49,332 --> 00:09:50,499 Hi. Abby. 271 00:09:50,634 --> 00:09:54,220 He tantalized my kids with his fabulous produce, 272 00:09:54,337 --> 00:09:57,806 and he grows veggies and helps people in recovery. 273 00:09:57,891 --> 00:09:58,891 - Does he, now? - Yeah. 274 00:09:58,975 --> 00:10:00,342 That's great. 275 00:10:00,443 --> 00:10:04,013 I was just about to tell him that I am going to volunteer. 276 00:10:04,181 --> 00:10:05,264 What? 277 00:10:05,348 --> 00:10:07,683 Really? Sorry. 278 00:10:07,817 --> 00:10:09,185 That's great. 279 00:10:11,655 --> 00:10:15,191 Um, it was so nice to meet you, Marco. 280 00:10:15,275 --> 00:10:16,492 Don't forget your broccoli. 281 00:10:16,576 --> 00:10:18,444 Okay, bye. 282 00:10:18,578 --> 00:10:20,579 Um... 283 00:10:20,697 --> 00:10:22,031 What happened to your man-cation? 284 00:10:22,115 --> 00:10:23,635 Oh, my God, I'm not into him like that. 285 00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:26,418 It's just--he does good, and I want to do good, 286 00:10:26,536 --> 00:10:28,921 and Miss Doom Face said that I need to volunteer 287 00:10:29,039 --> 00:10:31,040 so I can be inspired and learn. 288 00:10:37,547 --> 00:10:39,381 Oh, my God, give me that. 289 00:10:39,516 --> 00:10:40,933 Where do you put it, woman? 290 00:10:41,084 --> 00:10:43,185 You are always eating crap. 291 00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:44,720 Yelling at Frumpkis burns calories. 292 00:10:44,888 --> 00:10:45,888 Mm. 293 00:10:45,939 --> 00:10:47,723 Oh, all the girls are up for Sunday. 294 00:10:47,891 --> 00:10:49,411 We're thinking drinks in the afternoon. 295 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:50,726 - You had me at "drinks." - Perfect. 296 00:10:50,810 --> 00:10:51,810 Okay. 297 00:10:51,811 --> 00:10:53,395 Heads up. 298 00:10:53,530 --> 00:10:56,365 "Mustelid Man" -- This guy you have to date. 299 00:10:56,449 --> 00:10:58,400 The profile reads, 300 00:10:58,535 --> 00:11:01,620 "Why you should date my ferret and the man who loves him." 301 00:11:01,738 --> 00:11:02,818 Will you please message him? 302 00:11:02,906 --> 00:11:05,958 - Of course. - I am racking them up. 303 00:11:06,076 --> 00:11:08,077 - Yeah, you are. - By the way, I, um-- 304 00:11:08,161 --> 00:11:09,712 I left a message for Will. 305 00:11:09,829 --> 00:11:11,046 - Oh, the hot embryo? - Yeah. 306 00:11:11,131 --> 00:11:12,571 - Nice. - You know, Phoebe was right. 307 00:11:12,582 --> 00:11:14,416 He was my favorite mistake of the last few months, 308 00:11:14,501 --> 00:11:17,086 and if he's down for it, why not? 309 00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:21,056 Oh, and Doug Franklin from NYU. 310 00:11:21,174 --> 00:11:22,294 - Do you remember him? - Yes. 311 00:11:22,425 --> 00:11:25,311 Yeah, so he emailed me out of the blue-- 312 00:11:25,428 --> 00:11:29,098 Well, "out of the blue" -- When my divorce went public. 313 00:11:29,232 --> 00:11:30,266 - What? - Yeah. 314 00:11:30,350 --> 00:11:31,850 Doug Franklin, what an asshead. 315 00:11:31,968 --> 00:11:33,328 He pumped and dumped. It's perfect. 316 00:11:33,436 --> 00:11:36,322 I mean, I've got, like, a stuntman, who should be hot. 317 00:11:36,439 --> 00:11:39,491 I've got a yoga guy. I got a comic, a speed seducer. 318 00:11:39,609 --> 00:11:41,193 That's what he calls himself. 319 00:11:41,311 --> 00:11:44,280 Honey. Honey. 320 00:11:44,414 --> 00:11:46,949 I found your husband. 321 00:11:47,083 --> 00:11:49,535 - Oh, my God. - Oh, yes. Glad to be here. 322 00:11:49,669 --> 00:11:51,787 Who posts a picture of that? 323 00:11:51,871 --> 00:11:56,425 Tons of guys, but this one put a bow tie on his dick. 324 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:57,676 - Wow. - Okay. 325 00:11:57,794 --> 00:11:59,594 Tell you what we're gonna do. 326 00:11:59,629 --> 00:12:01,013 We're gonna get crazy now. 327 00:12:01,131 --> 00:12:02,798 Take that, magic Mike. 328 00:12:02,882 --> 00:12:05,467 Well, yours isn't in formal wear, so it's not fair. 329 00:12:05,568 --> 00:12:07,970 Well, it's au naturel. 330 00:12:08,138 --> 00:12:10,773 Zooey, hi. 331 00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:12,775 - Sweetie! - How are you? 332 00:12:12,859 --> 00:12:14,310 Hey, mi'ja. 333 00:12:14,444 --> 00:12:15,644 How are you? 334 00:12:15,812 --> 00:12:17,529 - How'd you get here? - Oh, I missed you so much. 335 00:12:17,647 --> 00:12:19,214 - I took a cab. - From LAX? 336 00:12:19,316 --> 00:12:20,566 - Yeah, she's a New Yorker. - By yourself? 337 00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:21,817 - Come here, sweetie. Come on. - That's not safe. 338 00:12:21,951 --> 00:12:22,951 May I set down my things? 339 00:12:22,986 --> 00:12:25,571 Of course you can. Come on in. 340 00:12:25,655 --> 00:12:27,740 How are you? 341 00:12:27,824 --> 00:12:29,158 Lilly, Zooey's here. 342 00:12:29,326 --> 00:12:31,493 Oh. Come say hi. 343 00:12:31,628 --> 00:12:33,962 - Do you remember her? - Hi. 344 00:12:34,047 --> 00:12:35,047 How was your flight? 345 00:12:35,131 --> 00:12:36,215 Fascinating, actually. 346 00:12:36,333 --> 00:12:38,967 My seat companion was an engineer from JPL. 347 00:12:39,052 --> 00:12:41,337 Mars 2020 is really coming along. 348 00:12:41,421 --> 00:12:43,501 - Who's my little Mensa? - Abby, if it's all right... 349 00:12:43,556 --> 00:12:45,341 I'd love to unpack, get organized. 350 00:12:45,475 --> 00:12:46,842 Of course you can. 351 00:12:46,926 --> 00:12:48,844 Lilly, will you give Zooey the grand tour? 352 00:12:48,978 --> 00:12:51,180 She's gonna be bunking with Jo in the guesthouse. 353 00:12:54,184 --> 00:12:56,652 Mom, have you been eating these? 354 00:12:56,736 --> 00:12:57,853 Uh, no, they belong to Abby. 355 00:12:57,987 --> 00:12:59,938 Can you hide these? 356 00:13:00,023 --> 00:13:02,257 Refined sugars make Mom short-tempered. 357 00:13:02,392 --> 00:13:04,326 Seriously, I become another person. 358 00:13:04,444 --> 00:13:06,412 No problem, honey. It's so nice to see you. 359 00:13:06,529 --> 00:13:09,865 You too. 360 00:13:09,999 --> 00:13:11,083 Have fun, you guys. 361 00:13:11,201 --> 00:13:12,418 I love you. 362 00:13:20,593 --> 00:13:23,762 Ms. Beech. Does Kelly do your facials? 363 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,047 She does, yeah. You too? 364 00:13:25,181 --> 00:13:26,181 No, first time. 365 00:13:26,182 --> 00:13:28,133 I read somewhere that-- 366 00:13:28,218 --> 00:13:31,387 Was it the profile on you in W? 367 00:13:33,306 --> 00:13:34,690 What do you want, Miss Banai? 368 00:13:34,774 --> 00:13:36,492 I was thinking about our last conversation, 369 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:37,893 and I did a little research 370 00:13:37,977 --> 00:13:40,396 and found out that after Gordon left the company, 371 00:13:40,530 --> 00:13:43,732 your factory in Seoul closed abruptly. 372 00:13:45,318 --> 00:13:48,370 We had a dispute with a local union 373 00:13:48,455 --> 00:13:49,455 and jumped ship. 374 00:13:49,456 --> 00:13:50,622 That doesn't make any sense. 375 00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:53,609 Korea's such a vital market for you. 376 00:13:53,710 --> 00:13:57,246 Unless you moved production to a much cheaper factory 377 00:13:57,380 --> 00:14:00,332 in rural Bangladesh, 378 00:14:00,417 --> 00:14:03,252 a factory with a long history of labor violations, 379 00:14:03,386 --> 00:14:08,140 so long, one might call it a sweatshop. 380 00:14:08,258 --> 00:14:09,625 A revelation of this sort 381 00:14:09,726 --> 00:14:12,678 could really affect the public perception 382 00:14:12,762 --> 00:14:14,062 of Courtney Beech. 383 00:14:16,266 --> 00:14:18,684 It is... 384 00:14:18,818 --> 00:14:21,170 possible... 385 00:14:21,271 --> 00:14:25,524 that we could come to some sort of agreement. 386 00:14:25,675 --> 00:14:26,992 Your daughter? 387 00:14:27,110 --> 00:14:29,445 Okay, Rob. Rob, listen to me. 388 00:14:29,612 --> 00:14:30,996 Half of the time, you're working, 389 00:14:31,114 --> 00:14:32,364 and the other half-- 390 00:14:32,482 --> 00:14:34,416 It doesn't work out that way. 391 00:14:34,551 --> 00:14:37,035 No, I'm just-- I'm by myself. 392 00:14:40,957 --> 00:14:44,126 Hey. Hi. 393 00:14:44,260 --> 00:14:45,844 Charlie, your dad's here. 394 00:14:48,381 --> 00:14:51,266 Wow. What's the occasion? 395 00:14:51,384 --> 00:14:53,001 It's not as exciting as it looks. 396 00:14:53,136 --> 00:14:54,296 It's for the Huff Post piece. 397 00:14:54,354 --> 00:14:56,221 I'm just meeting a tinder guy for drinks. 398 00:14:56,356 --> 00:14:57,356 Well, you look great. 399 00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,975 Well, I'm not seriously dating. 400 00:15:04,314 --> 00:15:06,198 Hi, Will. 401 00:15:06,316 --> 00:15:08,534 Is that the guy from the garage? Garage guy? 402 00:15:08,651 --> 00:15:10,869 No, no, I'm super happy that you called. 403 00:15:10,987 --> 00:15:12,754 - Oh, yeah, not serious at all. - Can I ask you a question? 404 00:15:12,872 --> 00:15:14,490 - I was wondering if, um... - Where's your brother? 405 00:15:14,657 --> 00:15:15,657 We got to go. 406 00:15:15,708 --> 00:15:17,793 - I'll get him. - Charlie? 407 00:15:20,017 --> 00:15:24,123 HERE GOES NOTHING... FIRST DATE! 408 00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:25,501 You must be Abby. 409 00:15:25,668 --> 00:15:26,668 Steve. 410 00:15:26,753 --> 00:15:27,836 Wow. 411 00:15:27,971 --> 00:15:29,571 Your picture did not do you justice. 412 00:15:29,672 --> 00:15:31,340 Thank you. 413 00:15:31,474 --> 00:15:34,092 Um, either you are very under 414 00:15:34,177 --> 00:15:36,178 or I am very overdressed for this place. 415 00:15:36,312 --> 00:15:40,849 Yeah, well, I was thinking, do you want a regular, boring date 416 00:15:40,984 --> 00:15:44,186 or an adventure date? 417 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:47,523 Oh, uh, well... 418 00:15:52,862 --> 00:15:55,914 ♪ I can be your something new ♪ 419 00:15:56,282 --> 00:15:58,116 ♪ I can be your something new ♪ 420 00:16:00,444 --> 00:16:03,946 So I'm going, "no, no, no," and he pushed me. 421 00:16:04,081 --> 00:16:05,448 Disaster one down. 422 00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,616 No, it wasn't really a disaster. 423 00:16:07,784 --> 00:16:10,336 It was--it was great and unexpected, 424 00:16:10,454 --> 00:16:13,456 and, you know, I jumped out of a flippin' plane, right? 425 00:16:13,623 --> 00:16:15,257 Oh, don't tell me that Stuntman Steve is a keeper. 426 00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,510 - You'd actually see him again? - Oh, my God, no. 427 00:16:17,627 --> 00:16:19,628 Do you know that he told me that the only bone in his body 428 00:16:19,763 --> 00:16:21,263 he hasn't broken was his penis? 429 00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:26,302 Yeah, it just made me realize that I need to take more leaps. 430 00:16:26,470 --> 00:16:27,790 Metaphoric-- 431 00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:31,724 Phoric you! Phoric you. 432 00:16:31,808 --> 00:16:33,642 Oh, why am I doing this? 433 00:16:33,810 --> 00:16:35,778 Hey, it's 2015, doll. 434 00:16:35,896 --> 00:16:38,481 Men expect a lady to be groomed down there. 435 00:16:38,615 --> 00:16:40,483 You mean bald. It's creepy. 436 00:16:40,617 --> 00:16:41,867 No, not bald. 437 00:16:41,985 --> 00:16:43,819 Not bald. 438 00:16:43,954 --> 00:16:46,622 Anyway, it's no different than having your eyebrows waxed. 439 00:16:46,707 --> 00:16:47,947 Yeah, if my bush was on my face. 440 00:16:47,991 --> 00:16:48,991 Okay, come on, come on. 441 00:16:49,159 --> 00:16:50,576 Am I gonna be able to walk later, Delia? 442 00:16:50,711 --> 00:16:52,071 Because I have so many dates today. 443 00:16:52,162 --> 00:16:53,896 I have seven at least. 444 00:16:53,997 --> 00:16:55,748 How is that even possible? 445 00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:57,049 I have three in the morning. 446 00:16:57,167 --> 00:16:58,334 I have two this afternoon. 447 00:16:58,468 --> 00:16:59,719 Then I have a couple tonight-- 448 00:16:59,836 --> 00:17:01,637 Night, no! No! 449 00:17:07,511 --> 00:17:08,878 Shit. 450 00:17:09,012 --> 00:17:11,731 Shit. Sorry. 451 00:17:11,882 --> 00:17:12,882 I'm so sorry. 452 00:17:13,016 --> 00:17:14,650 Hey. You okay? 453 00:17:14,768 --> 00:17:16,852 Ow. Oh, Oh, my God. 454 00:17:16,987 --> 00:17:18,854 I'm so sorry. I can't do this. 455 00:17:18,989 --> 00:17:20,489 I can't do this. 456 00:17:20,574 --> 00:17:22,054 My back is totally tweaking right now. 457 00:17:22,192 --> 00:17:24,072 Yeah, well, you signed up for a four-hour shift. 458 00:17:24,161 --> 00:17:27,096 I'm sorry, but if I do not get ice on my back, 459 00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:28,531 it's gonna totally seize up. 460 00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:30,783 Ow. 461 00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:34,370 The thing is, if you bail now, crops don't get in the truck, 462 00:17:34,504 --> 00:17:36,756 the truck doesn't deliver the crops, and so on. 463 00:17:36,873 --> 00:17:37,873 You understand. 464 00:17:37,874 --> 00:17:39,375 I get it. 465 00:17:39,509 --> 00:17:41,043 How about money? I've got money in my car. 466 00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:42,545 I will pay for the crops and-- 467 00:17:42,679 --> 00:17:45,114 I don't need-- 468 00:17:45,215 --> 00:17:47,716 Phoebe... 469 00:17:47,801 --> 00:17:49,752 I need the crops in the truck. 470 00:17:49,886 --> 00:17:51,187 Okay. 471 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,305 I get it. 472 00:17:53,423 --> 00:17:55,391 How about I make it up to you next time? 473 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:57,059 Tell you what, um... 474 00:17:57,194 --> 00:18:01,397 I'll take $200 for the cabbages that you won't load 475 00:18:01,531 --> 00:18:04,400 if you promise not to come back. 476 00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:05,985 Wow. 477 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,236 I appreciate your effort, 478 00:18:07,404 --> 00:18:10,239 but I don't think you're cut out for this. 479 00:18:14,411 --> 00:18:16,662 What--what you need to get what you want 480 00:18:16,797 --> 00:18:19,748 is for me to also want what you need. 481 00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:21,550 No. Wait. What? 482 00:18:21,635 --> 00:18:24,253 I mean that the only way out of our situation 483 00:18:24,421 --> 00:18:29,058 is if I'm at least open to the casual encounters... 484 00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:31,060 - Yes. - Like back in the old days. 485 00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:34,013 Yes, and I would hope that you would act on it, 486 00:18:34,097 --> 00:18:36,765 because I love you. 487 00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:37,933 What? 488 00:18:42,307 --> 00:18:43,494 Wow. 489 00:18:41,438 --> 00:18:45,441 So my man wants me to screw other men because he loves me. 490 00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,776 Because I-I need that excitement back, you know, 491 00:18:47,911 --> 00:18:49,662 for both of us. 492 00:18:49,779 --> 00:18:51,780 And I would never, ever leave you. 493 00:19:01,091 --> 00:19:02,208 Okay. 494 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:05,461 - Really? - But rules. 495 00:19:05,595 --> 00:19:09,548 At least three degrees of separation and no repeats. 496 00:19:09,633 --> 00:19:12,635 Good, good, and do we want to know before or no? 497 00:19:12,769 --> 00:19:14,103 Yes, yes, otherwise, every time 498 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:16,138 that you were working late or I was stuck in traffic, 499 00:19:16,273 --> 00:19:17,439 we'd think the... 500 00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:19,391 So, yes, advance notice of intent. 501 00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:21,727 Deal. 502 00:19:21,862 --> 00:19:22,862 Deal? 503 00:19:22,863 --> 00:19:23,863 Deal. 504 00:19:23,947 --> 00:19:25,147 Let the screwing begin. 505 00:19:26,550 --> 00:19:28,784 And forward jump. 506 00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:31,737 Inhale as you come to the top. 507 00:19:31,821 --> 00:19:33,989 Yeah, a lot of people don't realize 508 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,325 ferrets have actually been domesticated... 509 00:19:36,493 --> 00:19:39,295 So I'm incorporating seeds and nuts into my food plan now, 510 00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:42,331 which is a big step for me. 511 00:19:50,807 --> 00:19:51,924 Don't worry. All my ferrets are house trained. 512 00:19:52,008 --> 00:19:53,008 All of them? 513 00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,843 But I-- I do feel fat. 514 00:19:54,978 --> 00:19:56,679 I don't look fat, do I? 515 00:19:56,846 --> 00:19:58,514 Surprise. 516 00:20:01,318 --> 00:20:04,019 Because it's a blind date. Get it? 517 00:20:04,104 --> 00:20:05,354 Mmm. 518 00:20:05,522 --> 00:20:08,107 It's a lot, though, you know-- Work, four kids. 519 00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:09,858 I mean, they're all on travel teams and-- 520 00:20:10,026 --> 00:20:12,361 Hey, why don't you guys say hi? 521 00:20:12,529 --> 00:20:15,164 They just need a new mom. 522 00:20:19,502 --> 00:20:21,470 I mean, I wouldn't want to date any of these guys, 523 00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:23,122 but it was hysterical. 524 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,016 I love seeing how this whole thing turns out. 525 00:20:25,041 --> 00:20:26,681 I love being your disaster date bodyguard. 526 00:20:26,710 --> 00:20:30,679 I really don't need a micro-bodyguard. 527 00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,548 Okay. Over your shoulder. 528 00:20:32,682 --> 00:20:35,718 He's looking around. 529 00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:38,220 Looks like that could be Mr. Bow tie. 530 00:20:38,388 --> 00:20:39,888 Oh, my God. 531 00:20:40,023 --> 00:20:41,357 I know that man. 532 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:44,393 He's a dad at school. 533 00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:46,729 He is a married dad. 534 00:20:51,176 --> 00:20:52,042 Erick Frank. 535 00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:53,794 Oh, God. 536 00:20:54,362 --> 00:20:55,295 Hi. 537 00:20:55,430 --> 00:20:58,799 I thought you were-- 538 00:20:58,933 --> 00:21:00,851 - Abby. - That's right, from school. 539 00:21:00,969 --> 00:21:02,970 Our kids go to the same school. I see you every morning. 540 00:21:03,104 --> 00:21:05,522 - Right. - How funny. 541 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,057 What a coincidence running into you. 542 00:21:07,191 --> 00:21:09,309 Is it? Nice flowers. 543 00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:12,229 I better get back to my business drinks. 544 00:21:12,363 --> 00:21:14,083 - You look great. - Oh, thank you very much. 545 00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:16,308 I'll--I'll let your wife know that I ran into you here. 546 00:21:18,286 --> 00:21:21,621 Please don't. 547 00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,490 Please. 548 00:21:25,426 --> 00:21:26,710 Oh. 549 00:21:26,795 --> 00:21:28,545 You're gonna-- You're gonna have a blast. 550 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,465 Going for work, babe, in Texas. 551 00:21:31,549 --> 00:21:33,600 Last time I checked, I'm still black and gay. 552 00:21:33,685 --> 00:21:36,303 Austin is not Texas. 553 00:21:36,437 --> 00:21:38,605 So, um... 554 00:21:38,690 --> 00:21:42,976 Are you gonna use your-- Your hall pass? 555 00:21:43,111 --> 00:21:46,647 Well, Austin is at least three degrees of separation, so I... 556 00:21:46,781 --> 00:21:48,365 Right, that's what I figured. 557 00:21:48,483 --> 00:21:50,567 Don't worry, babe. Go out. 558 00:21:50,702 --> 00:21:52,152 Have yourself some fun too, okay? 559 00:21:52,237 --> 00:21:53,320 Okay. 560 00:22:00,795 --> 00:22:02,963 Love you. 561 00:22:06,834 --> 00:22:09,887 Your picture-- It was mostly just your body. 562 00:22:10,004 --> 00:22:13,640 You posted a photo of your man junk 563 00:22:13,725 --> 00:22:15,008 on the interweb. 564 00:22:15,143 --> 00:22:16,393 I know. 565 00:22:16,511 --> 00:22:18,061 It's the only way my wife won't recognize me. 566 00:22:18,179 --> 00:22:20,931 Erick, that's-- That's insane. 567 00:22:21,065 --> 00:22:22,900 It's just-- 568 00:22:23,017 --> 00:22:24,234 She can't stand me. 569 00:22:24,352 --> 00:22:25,872 We barely touch. 570 00:22:25,937 --> 00:22:28,856 Well, wouldn't therapy be better than, you know, 571 00:22:28,940 --> 00:22:31,325 dressing up your meat puppet? 572 00:22:31,442 --> 00:22:34,328 I want to, but she won't give it a chance. 573 00:22:34,412 --> 00:22:35,863 Well, if it's so bad, why stay? 574 00:22:36,030 --> 00:22:38,665 Why does anybody stay? 575 00:22:38,783 --> 00:22:41,118 The kids. 576 00:22:41,202 --> 00:22:42,802 Look, I'm not gonna lie to you, telling-- 577 00:22:42,871 --> 00:22:46,340 Telling the kids about our divorce was-- 578 00:22:46,424 --> 00:22:49,042 Was one of the hardest days of my life. 579 00:22:49,177 --> 00:22:51,545 But who's to say what's the best for kids, 580 00:22:51,679 --> 00:22:54,715 divorce or two miserable parents? 581 00:22:54,799 --> 00:23:00,053 I'm so grateful to be unstuck. 582 00:23:00,138 --> 00:23:02,439 We were paralyzed. 583 00:23:04,275 --> 00:23:07,227 I don't think I'm as brave as you. 584 00:23:07,362 --> 00:23:08,729 I didn't feel brave. 585 00:23:08,863 --> 00:23:11,315 I don't feel brave. 586 00:23:11,399 --> 00:23:15,736 But everyone deserves to be loved without cheating or lies. 587 00:23:15,870 --> 00:23:17,237 And never being touched, 588 00:23:17,322 --> 00:23:20,607 Erick, that's not-- That's not a way to live. 589 00:23:27,882 --> 00:23:31,084 Oh, my God. 590 00:23:31,169 --> 00:23:33,553 It is so beautiful. 591 00:23:33,671 --> 00:23:35,591 When Courtney attacks, I see red and strike back, 592 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,520 which is why we need to move this divorce along. 593 00:23:37,525 --> 00:23:39,509 Mm-hmm. 594 00:23:39,644 --> 00:23:41,895 But I've taken care of everything. 595 00:23:42,013 --> 00:23:43,853 She has no choice now but to split Korea 50/50. 596 00:23:43,932 --> 00:23:45,599 That's right. How did you know? 597 00:23:45,733 --> 00:23:48,518 I pushed back the date of separation. 598 00:23:50,655 --> 00:23:53,440 I slept with her. 599 00:23:53,574 --> 00:23:54,775 Oh, my God, is this a joke? 600 00:23:54,943 --> 00:23:57,411 Delia, rationally recognizing our options, 601 00:23:57,528 --> 00:23:58,528 it was the right move. 602 00:23:58,529 --> 00:24:00,280 You're an idiot. 603 00:24:00,381 --> 00:24:01,415 She played you. 604 00:24:01,516 --> 00:24:03,784 I got her to agree to a 50/50 split today. 605 00:24:03,868 --> 00:24:05,953 She had sex with you to get back at me. 606 00:24:06,087 --> 00:24:08,088 What? How? 607 00:24:08,172 --> 00:24:09,790 It doesn't matter, okay? 608 00:24:09,924 --> 00:24:11,124 I won... 609 00:24:11,259 --> 00:24:12,376 Without prostituting myself. 610 00:24:12,460 --> 00:24:14,094 Well, why didn't you call me? 611 00:24:14,178 --> 00:24:15,963 Because I wanted to tell you in person. 612 00:24:16,097 --> 00:24:17,764 It didn't occur to me that you would screw her. 613 00:24:17,849 --> 00:24:20,009 It's in the past, all right? We'll just--we'll move on. 614 00:24:20,134 --> 00:24:22,185 - Don't. You don't touch me. - No, listen-- 615 00:24:22,303 --> 00:24:24,137 No, first you declare some kind of affection, 616 00:24:24,272 --> 00:24:25,939 and then you have sex with Courtney? 617 00:24:26,057 --> 00:24:27,307 - For us. I did it for us. - Oh, my God. 618 00:24:27,475 --> 00:24:28,875 - You need to get out of here. - No. 619 00:24:28,943 --> 00:24:30,727 - Delia. - You need to go. Get out. 620 00:24:43,825 --> 00:24:47,160 What are you doing? Doug doesn't deserve that. 621 00:24:47,295 --> 00:24:48,615 No, no primping for pump and dump. 622 00:24:48,663 --> 00:24:50,163 - Don't you start in on him. - Are you crazy? 623 00:24:50,298 --> 00:24:51,298 Don't you do it. 624 00:24:51,416 --> 00:24:52,736 You're the one that asked to come. 625 00:24:52,834 --> 00:24:55,302 I believe your words were, "It will be fun to catch up." 626 00:24:55,386 --> 00:24:56,670 Well, my inside words were, 627 00:24:56,804 --> 00:24:58,422 "Dear God, I don't want to be alone another minute." 628 00:24:59,841 --> 00:25:01,341 Don't worry. I'm gonna be very nice. 629 00:25:01,476 --> 00:25:02,509 - Promise. - Okay. 630 00:25:05,596 --> 00:25:08,181 So you remember all that stuff that you said to Dressy D? 631 00:25:08,266 --> 00:25:10,734 Mm-hmm. 632 00:25:10,852 --> 00:25:14,654 I'm thinking maybe Frumpkis deserves another chance. 633 00:25:14,739 --> 00:25:16,106 That's what you got from it? 634 00:25:16,190 --> 00:25:18,358 The man loves me, and he promised me that he's gonna-- 635 00:25:18,493 --> 00:25:19,693 He's gonna clean up his act, so... 636 00:25:19,777 --> 00:25:23,747 Jo, how many times has he said that to you? 637 00:25:23,865 --> 00:25:24,965 And what about Zooey? 638 00:25:25,066 --> 00:25:26,586 You can't just keep jerking her around. 639 00:25:26,667 --> 00:25:28,735 I-I just-- I-I don't know. 640 00:25:28,836 --> 00:25:29,870 Where is Zooey? 641 00:25:30,004 --> 00:25:31,204 Uh, she took the bus to Santa Monica. 642 00:25:31,339 --> 00:25:32,289 She wanted to see the beach. 643 00:25:32,407 --> 00:25:34,674 - Alone? - Yeah. 644 00:25:34,759 --> 00:25:35,959 By herself? 645 00:25:36,094 --> 00:25:38,378 - She doesn't get lonely. - That is not safe. 646 00:25:38,513 --> 00:25:41,465 Oh, my God, you're so neurotic. 647 00:25:41,616 --> 00:25:44,851 Of course. 648 00:25:44,969 --> 00:25:48,138 Oh, look who became a big gordo blob now? 649 00:25:48,222 --> 00:25:50,357 You know who else I just saw? Oh, what's her name? 650 00:25:50,441 --> 00:25:51,808 Uh, the girl who was always a little off. 651 00:25:51,893 --> 00:25:52,893 She had the face, and- 652 00:25:52,944 --> 00:25:53,977 - Oh, Sue Kettles. - Yes. 653 00:25:54,112 --> 00:25:55,228 Yeah, with the Bell's palsy. 654 00:25:55,396 --> 00:25:56,730 - Oh, remember when-- - With the what? 655 00:25:56,864 --> 00:25:58,031 - Yeah. She had Bell's palsy. - Remember when-- 656 00:25:58,149 --> 00:25:59,282 - She did not. - Oh, my God. 657 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:00,984 Are you kidding me? Her face was half-paralyzed. 658 00:26:01,069 --> 00:26:02,402 She had shingles when we were little kids. 659 00:26:02,487 --> 00:26:03,403 - What? - Don't you remember? 660 00:26:03,571 --> 00:26:04,404 - No. - Yes. 661 00:26:04,539 --> 00:26:06,239 We hooked up. She never told me this. 662 00:26:06,374 --> 00:26:07,908 You are the dumbest man I've ever met. 663 00:26:08,042 --> 00:26:09,993 Wow. It is so late. 664 00:26:10,128 --> 00:26:11,828 - I have got to go. - Oh, I'll go with you. 665 00:26:11,963 --> 00:26:14,798 No, no, no, I have my--my date with Will tonight, remember? 666 00:26:14,916 --> 00:26:16,416 - Oh, the hot fetus. - Date? 667 00:26:16,501 --> 00:26:18,335 I thought-- I thought this was a-- 668 00:26:18,469 --> 00:26:19,836 This has been so swell. 669 00:26:19,971 --> 00:26:22,589 - Thank you. - Yes, it's been swell. 670 00:26:22,723 --> 00:26:23,924 - I will see you later. - Real swell. 671 00:26:24,058 --> 00:26:25,258 Well, no, no, Jo, you stay. 672 00:26:25,393 --> 00:26:26,626 - I'll drive you home later. - No, it's okay. 673 00:26:26,761 --> 00:26:28,512 She--she can give me her-- Her Uzi account. 674 00:26:28,646 --> 00:26:30,806 Uber, and you could get your own account at this point. 675 00:26:30,815 --> 00:26:32,265 - You could afford it. - Okay, okay. 676 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:33,850 - I'll see you later. - Bye. 677 00:26:33,935 --> 00:26:35,902 Nice to see you. 678 00:26:43,661 --> 00:26:45,162 I can't really stay that long 679 00:26:45,246 --> 00:26:47,114 'cause I dropped the kids off at the kids' club at the Paradiso, 680 00:26:47,248 --> 00:26:49,333 and Lilly looked like she was gonna murder me in my sleep. 681 00:26:49,417 --> 00:26:50,977 I'm--I'm sorry. Thanks for coming out... 682 00:26:51,035 --> 00:26:52,002 - to meet me, man. - No, no. 683 00:26:52,086 --> 00:26:55,005 I just need to get my mind off of that-- 684 00:26:55,089 --> 00:26:57,674 I can't believe Ford is liking the pool bar at the hotel. 685 00:26:57,792 --> 00:26:59,877 It's so desperate. "Here I am, hotties." 686 00:27:00,044 --> 00:27:01,884 Okay, maybe let's not, um, tweet stalk anymore. 687 00:27:02,013 --> 00:27:04,097 - Right, I'm sorry. Sorry. - Just be here. 688 00:27:04,215 --> 00:27:05,933 No more obsessing. 689 00:27:08,786 --> 00:27:10,354 What? No. No. 690 00:27:10,471 --> 00:27:11,555 What? 691 00:27:11,689 --> 00:27:13,129 You--I'm not here to be your wingman. 692 00:27:13,224 --> 00:27:14,775 - Okay, wow. Just-- - No. 693 00:27:14,893 --> 00:27:16,560 - Rela--Dude, relax. - Come on. 694 00:27:16,694 --> 00:27:17,895 Abby's brother. 695 00:27:18,029 --> 00:27:19,062 Wow. Dude, you know what? 696 00:27:19,197 --> 00:27:20,647 The Becca thing is still in my head. 697 00:27:20,782 --> 00:27:23,650 I'm just-- 698 00:27:23,785 --> 00:27:25,736 There's a True Blood, like, Skarsgard look-alike 699 00:27:25,904 --> 00:27:29,623 at the end of-- Don't look over there, please. 700 00:27:29,741 --> 00:27:31,661 I'm just saying he's eye-banging you pretty hard, 701 00:27:31,743 --> 00:27:34,962 and I don't swing that way, but he's a handsome devil, 702 00:27:35,079 --> 00:27:39,583 and if you wanted that hall pass, there it is. 703 00:27:39,717 --> 00:27:41,969 Oh, I know why Skarsgard's staring at me. 704 00:27:42,086 --> 00:27:45,389 He works at the Getty. Ford introduced me to him once. 705 00:27:47,926 --> 00:27:49,009 I'll go say a quick hi, 706 00:27:49,093 --> 00:27:51,428 and then I'll come meet you at the E.R. 707 00:27:51,562 --> 00:27:52,930 Mm. 708 00:27:53,064 --> 00:27:54,481 Come on. 709 00:28:14,785 --> 00:28:16,453 - Hi. - Hi. 710 00:28:16,837 --> 00:28:18,872 Long time. 711 00:28:18,956 --> 00:28:20,757 I meant to call, but with the kids... 712 00:28:20,875 --> 00:28:21,955 I'm sorry. I can't hear you. 713 00:28:22,043 --> 00:28:25,212 I just keep thinking about kissing you. 714 00:28:35,139 --> 00:28:39,976 ♪ This ain't love, it's clear to see ♪ 715 00:28:50,204 --> 00:28:51,705 You're so tan. 716 00:28:51,839 --> 00:28:53,256 Just got back from Pakistan. 717 00:28:53,374 --> 00:28:54,508 I was trying K2 again. 718 00:28:54,625 --> 00:28:56,043 Yeah? 719 00:28:56,127 --> 00:28:58,345 You mean, like--like, Everest? 720 00:28:58,463 --> 00:29:01,681 Oh, no, Everest was easier compared with K2. 721 00:29:01,799 --> 00:29:04,935 I had to-- I had to turn back again. 722 00:29:05,053 --> 00:29:08,722 Oh, my God, your failures are so sexy. 723 00:29:19,484 --> 00:29:20,867 Shh, houseguests. 724 00:29:20,985 --> 00:29:22,069 Oh, sorry, sorry. 725 00:29:42,056 --> 00:29:44,591 You know, last time... 726 00:29:44,725 --> 00:29:47,144 That I offered to cook for you, 727 00:29:47,261 --> 00:29:51,098 you ran like I offered to light your hair on fire. 728 00:29:51,232 --> 00:29:52,432 So what happens if I try again? 729 00:29:53,601 --> 00:29:55,769 It depends on what you're cooking. 730 00:29:55,903 --> 00:29:58,105 Name it. I love a challenge. 731 00:29:58,239 --> 00:29:59,239 Frittata. 732 00:29:59,273 --> 00:30:00,740 - Ooh. - Yes. 733 00:30:00,858 --> 00:30:01,858 - Wow. - Do it. 734 00:30:01,859 --> 00:30:03,110 Just like that? 735 00:30:03,277 --> 00:30:05,278 Hang on a second. Wait. 736 00:30:05,413 --> 00:30:09,583 Are you asking me to sleep over, Abby McCarthy? 737 00:30:09,667 --> 00:30:12,953 That's, uh-- That's a big step. 738 00:30:13,087 --> 00:30:14,871 Yes, I am. 739 00:30:15,006 --> 00:30:17,874 Mm. 740 00:30:17,959 --> 00:30:19,679 You know, this article that I'm working on-- 741 00:30:19,794 --> 00:30:22,629 Yes, yes, the, uh, ten dates. 742 00:30:23,663 --> 00:30:24,764 Hang on a sec. 743 00:30:24,882 --> 00:30:28,685 I'm not just here because you have blue bean, am I? 744 00:30:30,638 --> 00:30:31,938 Blue bean, I don't-- 745 00:30:32,023 --> 00:30:33,857 That's horrible. 746 00:30:33,975 --> 00:30:36,610 Oh, my God. No. 747 00:30:36,727 --> 00:30:38,311 - No? - No. 748 00:30:38,396 --> 00:30:41,448 It's because I met a lot of guys, 749 00:30:41,532 --> 00:30:45,318 and none of them were you. 750 00:30:45,419 --> 00:30:46,419 Finally. 751 00:30:55,496 --> 00:30:56,830 Did you hear that? 752 00:30:56,998 --> 00:30:58,665 Yeah. 753 00:31:05,890 --> 00:31:07,340 Are you a good girl? 754 00:31:07,475 --> 00:31:09,643 Jesus Christ, Jo! 755 00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:10,644 Oh. 756 00:31:10,728 --> 00:31:13,180 Oh, oh, I know. I know. 757 00:31:13,314 --> 00:31:15,215 - I just-- - It's a great couch. 758 00:31:18,366 --> 00:31:20,133 Oh, he didn't, uh-- He didn't even come yet. 759 00:31:20,251 --> 00:31:23,203 We didn't get any jizz or anything like that on it. 760 00:31:23,637 --> 00:31:26,739 - Oh, wow. You are hot. - Do you hear yourself? 761 00:31:26,873 --> 00:31:28,491 You're actually using your outside voice. 762 00:31:28,625 --> 00:31:30,159 This is awful. 763 00:31:30,327 --> 00:31:31,794 What if Zooey had walked in and seen this? 764 00:31:31,912 --> 00:31:33,295 This is awful even for you. 765 00:31:33,413 --> 00:31:35,498 Zooey's fast asleep, but-- Even for me? 766 00:31:35,665 --> 00:31:37,166 - I think I should probably-- - What do you mean? 767 00:31:37,334 --> 00:31:39,218 This is not 1992, Jo. 768 00:31:39,336 --> 00:31:40,696 You can't just bring some dude home 769 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,171 and screw him on our couch-- On my couch. 770 00:31:42,305 --> 00:31:44,340 Should I have gone to the guesthouse with Zooey there? 771 00:31:44,424 --> 00:31:45,544 That would have been-- Hello? 772 00:31:45,592 --> 00:31:47,843 Oh, was that a parenting decision? 773 00:31:48,011 --> 00:31:51,180 That's the first parenting I've seen you do all week. 774 00:31:51,314 --> 00:31:53,816 You are out of control. 775 00:31:53,917 --> 00:31:56,185 You have no boundaries. 776 00:31:56,319 --> 00:31:58,854 You have just come steamrolling into this house 777 00:31:58,989 --> 00:32:01,073 like you own this place, and your daughter-- 778 00:32:01,191 --> 00:32:02,191 My daughter is a wonderful girl. 779 00:32:02,325 --> 00:32:03,492 Don't you say one goddamn thing about her. 780 00:32:03,610 --> 00:32:05,010 - Your daughter is wonderful. - Yes. 781 00:32:05,028 --> 00:32:06,495 And she acts like she is your nanny. 782 00:32:06,580 --> 00:32:07,663 She's my life, okay? 783 00:32:07,747 --> 00:32:09,999 She's my life, and I spent five seconds 784 00:32:10,083 --> 00:32:11,803 with your girl, and I got that she's a brat. 785 00:32:11,868 --> 00:32:13,369 - She is a brat! - She's a little mean girl. 786 00:32:13,453 --> 00:32:14,973 She's a brat because she is a teenager, 787 00:32:15,038 --> 00:32:16,455 and she is supposed to be a brat. 788 00:32:16,590 --> 00:32:19,041 Your daughter behaves like she is a 40-year-old woman. 789 00:32:19,126 --> 00:32:20,259 How about this? 790 00:32:20,377 --> 00:32:22,711 You say nothing about my kid again, ever, ever. 791 00:32:22,796 --> 00:32:25,464 You say nothing about my life, okay? 792 00:32:25,549 --> 00:32:27,716 'Cause we all know you give some shitty advice. 793 00:32:27,884 --> 00:32:29,218 - Oh, okay. - You give shit advice. 794 00:32:29,352 --> 00:32:31,470 You want some shitty advice? Get the hell out of my house. 795 00:32:31,605 --> 00:32:33,389 Okay, fine. You know what? Screw you. 796 00:32:33,557 --> 00:32:35,157 Zooey and I are going back home tomorrow, 797 00:32:35,192 --> 00:32:37,560 'cause I have a husband who still wants me, 798 00:32:37,727 --> 00:32:41,280 yeah, and loves me. 799 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,625 I have never had it. 800 00:32:52,742 --> 00:32:54,210 Hey. I got to get going. 801 00:32:54,294 --> 00:32:55,411 Hey, awesome. 802 00:32:55,495 --> 00:32:56,996 Um, aw. 803 00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,798 I, um--I think I'm gonna hang for a bit. 804 00:32:59,916 --> 00:33:01,050 Mm-hmm. 805 00:33:01,134 --> 00:33:02,501 What? We're just talking. 806 00:33:02,636 --> 00:33:03,802 We'll see, Mr. Discipline. 807 00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:05,588 Whatever. 808 00:33:13,930 --> 00:33:15,264 Any movement from the houseguests? 809 00:33:15,398 --> 00:33:16,649 Mm, no. 810 00:33:16,766 --> 00:33:20,436 I mean, Zooey usually gets her mom coffee around 11:00. 811 00:33:20,570 --> 00:33:22,571 - Wow. - Yeah. 812 00:33:22,656 --> 00:33:26,942 I'm sure that Jo is not speaking to me this morning, anyway. 813 00:33:27,027 --> 00:33:29,612 Maybe this can help. 814 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,451 Better be good. 815 00:33:37,704 --> 00:33:40,089 Mmm. Oh, my God. 816 00:33:40,473 --> 00:33:42,025 It's so good. 817 00:33:45,629 --> 00:33:48,081 Thank you. 818 00:33:49,599 --> 00:33:51,451 What? 819 00:33:52,269 --> 00:33:55,138 I've also been experimenting with writing... 820 00:33:55,872 --> 00:33:57,107 A book. 821 00:33:57,991 --> 00:33:59,241 You're a writer? 822 00:33:59,359 --> 00:34:01,159 Well, I don't think you can call yourself that 823 00:34:01,161 --> 00:34:04,147 when you haven't been published, but I did write this. 824 00:34:05,365 --> 00:34:07,885 It's about my last time up Everest. 825 00:34:09,669 --> 00:34:11,087 It's a lot of pages. 826 00:34:11,171 --> 00:34:12,505 You just had that in your bag? 827 00:34:12,622 --> 00:34:13,789 Yeah. 828 00:34:13,957 --> 00:34:15,124 Look, you can totally say no, 829 00:34:15,258 --> 00:34:17,343 but I was kind of hoping you would take a look at it 830 00:34:17,461 --> 00:34:19,962 and tell me what you thought. 831 00:34:20,097 --> 00:34:22,431 Sure. 832 00:34:22,516 --> 00:34:24,133 Are you sure? 833 00:34:24,301 --> 00:34:26,135 That didn't seem sure. 834 00:34:26,219 --> 00:34:27,303 I'm nervous about it. 835 00:34:27,437 --> 00:34:28,837 What if I-- What if I don't like it? 836 00:34:28,939 --> 00:34:31,023 Oh, well, then you just tell me 837 00:34:31,141 --> 00:34:32,742 what you don't like, and I'll try and fix it. 838 00:34:32,859 --> 00:34:34,276 - Really? - I'm--I'm a big boy. 839 00:34:34,394 --> 00:34:36,312 - Really? You can take it? - I think so, yeah. 840 00:34:36,396 --> 00:34:37,480 All right, I'll read it. 841 00:34:37,647 --> 00:34:39,698 But say you do like it, 842 00:34:39,816 --> 00:34:42,536 would you be comfortable passing it on to your editor? 843 00:34:43,653 --> 00:34:44,989 Um, yeah. 844 00:34:46,573 --> 00:34:47,790 Sure. 845 00:34:47,908 --> 00:34:50,993 Wait, wait, wait. What, uh--what just happened? 846 00:34:51,078 --> 00:34:52,661 No, it's fine. I'll just, um-- 847 00:34:52,746 --> 00:34:57,133 I'm gonna put it on my desk, and I will read it. 848 00:34:59,302 --> 00:35:01,170 Cool. Thanks. 849 00:35:04,007 --> 00:35:07,510 He says, "Do you mind passing it on to your editor?" 850 00:35:07,677 --> 00:35:09,345 That is terrible. 851 00:35:09,513 --> 00:35:11,514 I don't see the problem here at all. 852 00:35:11,648 --> 00:35:12,848 It's a couple of booty calls, 853 00:35:13,016 --> 00:35:15,851 and then the old chick helps you with your career. 854 00:35:15,986 --> 00:35:17,236 No, that is not Will. It's sexy. 855 00:35:17,354 --> 00:35:19,355 You have beauty and clout. He loves it. 856 00:35:19,439 --> 00:35:21,190 Or he is selfish and crass... 857 00:35:21,324 --> 00:35:22,274 - And Abby's getting played. - Oh, my God. 858 00:35:22,409 --> 00:35:23,576 That's right. And I should have known. 859 00:35:23,693 --> 00:35:25,277 I mean, I'm almost 20 years older than the guy. 860 00:35:25,362 --> 00:35:26,362 Bullshit. 861 00:35:26,363 --> 00:35:28,030 Why is it okay for a man with power 862 00:35:28,131 --> 00:35:30,366 to date a younger woman who benefits from it, 863 00:35:30,500 --> 00:35:31,700 but not the other way around? 864 00:35:31,868 --> 00:35:33,169 I don't like it the other way around either, 865 00:35:33,286 --> 00:35:35,271 and--and I want to be the pretty, pretty princess. 866 00:35:35,372 --> 00:35:36,532 I don't want to be a resource. 867 00:35:36,540 --> 00:35:38,090 Are you sure your friend won't be joining you? 868 00:35:38,208 --> 00:35:39,458 Not unless you have a straw 869 00:35:39,593 --> 00:35:42,178 that stretches 3,000 miles, but thank you. 870 00:35:42,262 --> 00:35:43,379 I'm sorry about Jo leaving. 871 00:35:43,463 --> 00:35:45,214 Her New York attitude would have been fun. 872 00:35:45,348 --> 00:35:47,600 She would have loved hating this place. 873 00:35:47,717 --> 00:35:51,387 Divorce-- It's not for wimps. 874 00:35:51,521 --> 00:35:52,771 Oh, my God, that dress. 875 00:35:52,889 --> 00:35:55,057 - That's so beautiful. - It's a little much. 876 00:35:55,192 --> 00:35:57,078 No, no, it's gorgeous. 877 00:35:59,396 --> 00:36:00,980 - What's happening with you? - I'm fine. 878 00:36:01,064 --> 00:36:03,032 I'm just a little distracted by work, I feel like. 879 00:36:03,116 --> 00:36:05,134 I am too. I'm distracted by work too. 880 00:36:05,235 --> 00:36:06,569 I'm supposed to write this article 881 00:36:06,736 --> 00:36:09,572 on my crazy disaster dates, and there weren't disasters. 882 00:36:09,706 --> 00:36:12,575 They were weird and--and fun and... 883 00:36:12,676 --> 00:36:13,676 You got to kiss a ferret. 884 00:36:13,710 --> 00:36:14,743 I got to kiss a ferret, 885 00:36:14,828 --> 00:36:16,412 which is not the article they want me to write, 886 00:36:16,496 --> 00:36:17,546 so I have no thesis. 887 00:36:17,664 --> 00:36:18,631 'Cause that'll be a great article. 888 00:36:18,748 --> 00:36:19,815 Great, well, guess what. 889 00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:21,467 You guys have jobs. Congratulations. 890 00:36:21,585 --> 00:36:24,420 I, on the other hand, got fired from day one of volunteering. 891 00:36:24,504 --> 00:36:25,921 It turns out I spent all that money on life coaching, 892 00:36:26,089 --> 00:36:29,842 and Doom Face and I can't even haul a box of zucchini properly. 893 00:36:29,926 --> 00:36:31,560 So what? You can't pull off overalls. 894 00:36:31,645 --> 00:36:32,645 Just let it go. 895 00:36:32,646 --> 00:36:33,766 No, I don't want to let it go 896 00:36:33,813 --> 00:36:34,930 because it's what I want to be doing. 897 00:36:35,098 --> 00:36:36,618 Marco is doing what I want to be doing, 898 00:36:36,733 --> 00:36:39,568 and it gets hard, and I bail. 899 00:36:39,686 --> 00:36:40,769 So you need to go back. 900 00:36:40,904 --> 00:36:43,439 No, cannot go back. 901 00:36:43,573 --> 00:36:45,441 Promised him I would not go back. 902 00:36:45,575 --> 00:36:46,942 Oh, you know what? Screw him. 903 00:36:47,077 --> 00:36:48,444 He's being a pretty-ist. 904 00:36:48,612 --> 00:36:49,945 - Oh, shit. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 905 00:36:50,030 --> 00:36:51,580 - Jesus. - Oh, my God. 906 00:36:51,698 --> 00:36:52,998 Oh, my God, my dress is ruined. 907 00:36:53,116 --> 00:36:55,951 No, no, it's dry cleaning. It's just dry cleaning. 908 00:36:56,086 --> 00:36:57,920 I have a great one. 909 00:36:58,038 --> 00:37:00,956 Oh, my God. 910 00:37:01,124 --> 00:37:02,625 God, it's ruined. 911 00:37:02,792 --> 00:37:04,210 Abby, my dress is ruined. 912 00:37:04,294 --> 00:37:06,962 Everything was perfect, and now it's ruined. 913 00:37:09,099 --> 00:37:10,766 I don't think this is about the dress. 914 00:37:10,884 --> 00:37:12,735 What's happening? 915 00:37:12,852 --> 00:37:16,972 I am-- I'm having an affair. 916 00:37:17,107 --> 00:37:19,475 I had an affair with Gordon Beech. 917 00:37:19,559 --> 00:37:23,312 - Oh, my God, I knew it. - Gordon Beech, your client? 918 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:24,697 It's so against all the rules, 919 00:37:24,814 --> 00:37:28,117 and it is so, um... 920 00:37:28,201 --> 00:37:30,653 Risky and so stupid, 921 00:37:30,820 --> 00:37:32,788 and I never do things like this, 922 00:37:32,906 --> 00:37:34,540 and he's sleeping with his wife. 923 00:37:34,658 --> 00:37:36,158 He had sex with-- 924 00:37:36,293 --> 00:37:38,127 I mean, literally just to sign the papers, 925 00:37:38,245 --> 00:37:41,664 but, God, I was so mad, and then I thought later 926 00:37:41,748 --> 00:37:44,533 that this was his weird, twisted way of-- 927 00:37:44,668 --> 00:37:46,835 of doing it for us. 928 00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,255 And he treats me like a goddess. 929 00:37:49,339 --> 00:37:53,142 I mean, he bought me this dress, and... 930 00:37:53,260 --> 00:37:54,426 Oh, my God. 931 00:37:55,411 --> 00:37:56,845 Delia, you're in love with him. 932 00:37:58,097 --> 00:38:00,006 I hate love. 933 00:38:09,007 --> 00:38:10,040 - Hi. - Hey. 934 00:38:10,125 --> 00:38:11,341 Car's coming in ten, 935 00:38:11,459 --> 00:38:13,594 and then we'll be out of your hair. 936 00:38:13,678 --> 00:38:16,114 I'm sorry I didn't have time to wash the sheets. 937 00:38:17,098 --> 00:38:19,400 I-I'm sorry about last night. 938 00:38:19,484 --> 00:38:21,602 I-- Really, I overstepped. 939 00:38:21,736 --> 00:38:25,022 But come on, you--you got to give me a break. 940 00:38:25,106 --> 00:38:28,025 I mean, of course I got angry. I'm gonna have to burn my couch. 941 00:38:29,778 --> 00:38:31,912 Don't go. 942 00:38:31,997 --> 00:38:34,037 I know you're going through an incredibly hard time, 943 00:38:34,082 --> 00:38:35,449 but I promise you there is so much good 944 00:38:35,533 --> 00:38:36,533 on the other side of it. 945 00:38:36,584 --> 00:38:38,168 I swear. 946 00:38:40,372 --> 00:38:42,623 Yeah, you've made it look really delightful, Abby. 947 00:38:42,707 --> 00:38:44,875 It is delightful. I'm delighted. 948 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:48,595 Even my disaster dates were delightful... 949 00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:52,216 Because I'm free to have new experiences 950 00:38:52,300 --> 00:38:55,302 and to meet new people. 951 00:38:55,387 --> 00:38:57,221 And with Will, I feel like-- 952 00:38:57,305 --> 00:39:01,692 Okay, well, that might be over, but... 953 00:39:01,810 --> 00:39:05,312 Jo, just to feel-- 954 00:39:05,397 --> 00:39:09,316 Just to feel like anything's possible? 955 00:39:09,401 --> 00:39:14,121 I'm--I mean, the disaster is staying miserable 956 00:39:14,205 --> 00:39:16,957 because it's familiar and new is scary. 957 00:39:17,042 --> 00:39:19,710 That's a disaster. 958 00:39:19,828 --> 00:39:22,629 I tried something new with Doug, 959 00:39:22,747 --> 00:39:23,998 and it was disgusting. 960 00:39:24,082 --> 00:39:27,501 That's because it was Doug, and Doug is disgusting, 961 00:39:27,635 --> 00:39:29,303 and you have no impulse control. 962 00:39:33,808 --> 00:39:37,261 But... 963 00:39:37,345 --> 00:39:40,431 I don't want to get a divorce. 964 00:39:40,515 --> 00:39:42,266 Who wants to get divorced? 965 00:39:42,350 --> 00:39:43,650 Nobody wants to get divorced, 966 00:39:43,735 --> 00:39:47,121 but I'm telling you, once you step into this... 967 00:39:47,222 --> 00:39:50,074 This life, you will think, 968 00:39:50,191 --> 00:39:52,826 "What the hell took me so long?" 969 00:39:52,911 --> 00:39:54,828 You got to give it a chance, Jo. 970 00:39:54,913 --> 00:39:57,331 You got to stay. Stay for yourself. 971 00:39:57,415 --> 00:39:59,450 Stay for your daughter. 972 00:39:59,534 --> 00:40:01,037 Stay. 973 00:40:03,204 --> 00:40:04,705 Can we? 974 00:40:05,373 --> 00:40:06,976 I want to. 975 00:40:09,294 --> 00:40:11,545 So... 976 00:40:14,382 --> 00:40:15,616 We'll stay. 977 00:40:15,750 --> 00:40:16,750 - Really? - Yeah. 978 00:40:16,801 --> 00:40:18,552 Thank you. 979 00:40:24,776 --> 00:40:27,945 I'm sorry I'm such a crazy asshole. 980 00:40:28,063 --> 00:40:30,814 I'm so sorry. 981 00:40:30,949 --> 00:40:35,119 But she knows. She knows it's-- 982 00:40:35,236 --> 00:40:37,821 And I'm gonna try some of that L.A. stuff, okay? 983 00:40:37,906 --> 00:40:42,042 I'm gonna try the meditation and the chanting and shit. 984 00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:43,494 Good. 985 00:40:43,578 --> 00:40:45,913 You're gonna be a nightmare in those classes, but good. 986 00:40:56,558 --> 00:40:58,592 Thank you. 987 00:41:02,597 --> 00:41:04,565 Dude, what the hell, man? 988 00:41:04,682 --> 00:41:05,682 Been here three hours. 989 00:41:05,767 --> 00:41:07,935 Worked her ass off. 990 00:41:08,069 --> 00:41:10,571 Lot of yoga. Strong core. 991 00:41:18,113 --> 00:41:20,280 - Hey. - Hey. 992 00:41:20,381 --> 00:41:22,699 Eight more boxes to go, and then you owe me a beer. 993 00:41:22,834 --> 00:41:24,952 - Phoebe, listen-- - I know. I promised. 994 00:41:25,086 --> 00:41:27,287 But isn't this a place about second chances? 995 00:41:27,372 --> 00:41:29,490 For addicts in recovery. 996 00:41:29,591 --> 00:41:31,825 Okay, well, maybe I am in recovery 997 00:41:31,926 --> 00:41:35,395 from being a silly, superficial chick. 998 00:41:35,463 --> 00:41:38,632 What you do here is important, and I want to be a part of it. 999 00:41:38,766 --> 00:41:42,469 So are you gonna help me or what? 1000 00:41:48,643 --> 00:41:52,062 ♪ I had me a boy, turned him into a man ♪ 1001 00:41:52,197 --> 00:41:55,115 ♪ I showed him all the things that he didn't understand ♪ 1002 00:41:57,702 --> 00:41:59,536 What do you think? 1003 00:41:59,654 --> 00:42:01,189 I think, uh... 1004 00:42:02,123 --> 00:42:04,542 It's nothing like I expected. 1005 00:42:05,827 --> 00:42:08,280 I think it's frickin' brave. 1006 00:42:09,664 --> 00:42:12,332 It's gonna upset a lot of people, 1007 00:42:12,467 --> 00:42:14,501 and, uh, yeah, 1008 00:42:14,636 --> 00:42:17,237 you could make some, uh-- some real haters. 1009 00:42:17,300 --> 00:42:18,850 WHY AREN'T YOU DIVORCED YET? BY ABBY MCCARTHY 1010 00:42:18,890 --> 00:42:21,925 Well, good, 1011 00:42:22,510 --> 00:42:25,113 because I am the new Abby McCarthy, 1012 00:42:26,347 --> 00:42:29,149 and I say bring it on. 1013 00:42:32,887 --> 00:42:33,800 MAIL ACTIVITY OUTGOING MESSAGES... 1014 00:42:33,905 --> 00:42:34,792 MESSAGE SENT 1015 00:42:39,917 --> 00:42:44,417 sync and corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com