1 00:00:00,266 --> 00:00:02,150 Previously on Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce... 2 00:00:03,234 --> 00:00:04,902 We've never really made love. 3 00:00:05,219 --> 00:00:07,137 You're really emotionally blocked. 4 00:00:07,221 --> 00:00:09,973 - I have this guy. - Your shrink? 5 00:00:10,057 --> 00:00:11,057 Like a shaman. 6 00:00:11,109 --> 00:00:13,810 Are we prepared for our journey 7 00:00:13,978 --> 00:00:15,812 to self-revelation through ayahuasca? 8 00:00:15,947 --> 00:00:17,814 What's the story with you and Ralf? 9 00:00:17,949 --> 00:00:19,316 He gets off on paying me now. 10 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,318 - Child support? - No, he has to pay that. 11 00:00:21,486 --> 00:00:23,487 This is for services rendered. 12 00:00:23,621 --> 00:00:24,621 Lyla, what's going on? 13 00:00:24,622 --> 00:00:27,824 70-30 custody in Dan's favor. 14 00:00:27,959 --> 00:00:31,294 I just thought that maybe 15 00:00:31,412 --> 00:00:33,497 we could go on a trip. 16 00:00:33,631 --> 00:00:34,965 It's gonna be an adventure. 17 00:00:35,082 --> 00:00:37,167 Why did we have to split 18 00:00:37,301 --> 00:00:40,003 for me to see how goddamn beautiful you are? 19 00:00:43,527 --> 00:00:47,727 RULE #67 DON'T KILL THE PRINCESS 20 00:00:47,996 --> 00:00:48,996 Lyla? 21 00:00:49,097 --> 00:00:52,316 Lyla, Lyla, Lyla, Lyla, Lyla? 22 00:00:52,433 --> 00:00:53,600 Mm. 23 00:00:53,735 --> 00:00:56,653 Lyla, this is message four, seven? 24 00:00:56,771 --> 00:00:59,273 I don't know, I stopped counting. 25 00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:03,527 I know you are upset with me, but I need you to call me back. 26 00:01:03,661 --> 00:01:05,195 Call me back, or I'll put your dating profile 27 00:01:05,330 --> 00:01:07,998 on ranchersonly.com, and yes, that is a thing. 28 00:01:08,116 --> 00:01:09,533 Call me. 29 00:01:17,842 --> 00:01:20,294 Really, Mom? 30 00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:22,629 Do you remember your Princess Jasmine birthday party? 31 00:01:22,764 --> 00:01:24,381 No, it was like a zillion years ago. 32 00:01:24,515 --> 00:01:27,801 You were six, maybe seven. You were so obsessed with her. 33 00:01:27,969 --> 00:01:30,053 When she showed up, you and your friends started screaming 34 00:01:30,138 --> 00:01:31,972 like it was the Beatles. It was so cute. 35 00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:34,474 Um, I picked out the birthday dress I want. It's from Anthropologie. 36 00:01:34,609 --> 00:01:35,976 Let me just take one picture of you wearing it, please? 37 00:01:36,110 --> 00:01:38,445 Can I get it? It's on sale for $220. 38 00:01:38,563 --> 00:01:39,813 Lilly, that's a lot of money for a dress. 39 00:01:39,948 --> 00:01:40,981 You said I could pick one out. 40 00:01:41,115 --> 00:01:44,484 Reasonably priced. Nothing more than $150. 41 00:01:44,619 --> 00:01:45,986 You spend twice as much as that on dresses. 42 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:47,788 Well, I'm twice your age. 43 00:01:47,905 --> 00:01:49,905 - Whatever. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 44 00:01:49,907 --> 00:01:52,159 I just need you to help me pick out a food truck for your party. 45 00:01:52,293 --> 00:01:53,794 I'm thinking Kogi. 46 00:01:53,911 --> 00:01:55,329 Mom, no, taco trucks are so over. 47 00:01:55,496 --> 00:01:56,536 They're filled with carbs. 48 00:01:57,632 --> 00:01:59,967 Charlie! Leave the balloons alone. 49 00:02:00,084 --> 00:02:01,585 It was Chad, not me. 50 00:02:01,719 --> 00:02:03,170 Chad. 51 00:02:03,304 --> 00:02:04,864 What 14-year-old girl doesn't eat carbs? 52 00:02:05,006 --> 00:02:06,006 My friends. 53 00:02:06,007 --> 00:02:08,342 There's something on the wall, Mom. 54 00:02:08,509 --> 00:02:10,344 Okay, fine, no tacos for you then. 55 00:02:10,428 --> 00:02:12,346 - It's really, really big, Mom. - You gotta eat something. 56 00:02:12,430 --> 00:02:13,897 I was thinking maybe we could get a Sushi truck. 57 00:02:14,015 --> 00:02:15,849 Sushi has rice. Rice is a carb. 58 00:02:15,984 --> 00:02:18,935 - Sashimi, Mom, obviously. - Mom, Chad saw it first, see? 59 00:02:19,070 --> 00:02:20,270 Look. 60 00:02:24,609 --> 00:02:25,926 Shit. 61 00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:30,750 Sync and corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 62 00:02:44,012 --> 00:02:46,213 Phoebe? Hey, what are you doing here? 63 00:02:46,347 --> 00:02:49,016 I was hoping to talk to Lyla about legal advice 64 00:02:49,133 --> 00:02:50,851 because of the baby that ate the bracelet in Vegas. 65 00:02:50,935 --> 00:02:52,185 Oh, right, yeah, yeah. 66 00:02:52,303 --> 00:02:54,271 Well, Mom is understandably freaking out, 67 00:02:54,389 --> 00:02:55,555 so I thought maybe she could help me, 68 00:02:55,723 --> 00:02:58,141 but she's not here. 69 00:02:58,276 --> 00:02:59,393 - Oh, well, that's weird. - Yeah. 70 00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:01,445 She's usually here before 8:30. 71 00:03:01,562 --> 00:03:03,730 Hi, excuse me, can I, uh, borrow her for a sec? 72 00:03:03,815 --> 00:03:05,449 Yeah. 73 00:03:05,566 --> 00:03:06,983 - Hey. - Hey. 74 00:03:07,068 --> 00:03:09,069 I got an email late last night from Lyla. 75 00:03:09,203 --> 00:03:10,203 She's taking a leave 76 00:03:10,288 --> 00:03:12,989 starting today. 77 00:03:13,124 --> 00:03:15,992 A leave? For how long? 78 00:03:21,082 --> 00:03:22,082 No answer. 79 00:03:22,133 --> 00:03:23,653 She is not answering any of my texts. 80 00:03:23,718 --> 00:03:24,718 This is my fault. 81 00:03:24,752 --> 00:03:25,992 It was everything I said to her, 82 00:03:26,087 --> 00:03:27,421 and Vegas was the last straw. 83 00:03:27,588 --> 00:03:30,223 Oh, honey, please do not worry about Lyla. 84 00:03:30,341 --> 00:03:31,658 You know, this is probably one of her stunts. 85 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,896 She's probably at the Palmilla drinking margaritas, 86 00:03:35,980 --> 00:03:39,232 trying to make Dan sweat because his meal ticket's gone awol. 87 00:03:39,350 --> 00:03:40,851 Mm? 88 00:03:40,985 --> 00:03:41,985 Yeah? 89 00:03:42,019 --> 00:03:44,020 Your father's on the phone again. 90 00:03:44,105 --> 00:03:45,605 Okay, take a message, please. 91 00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:48,275 Okay, and Gordon Beech is here. 92 00:03:48,409 --> 00:03:49,576 Great. Thank you. 93 00:03:53,247 --> 00:03:57,617 Gordon Beech as in married to the designer Courtney Beech? 94 00:03:57,752 --> 00:03:59,786 One and the same. And he was married. 95 00:04:00,454 --> 00:04:02,289 You're primping. 96 00:04:02,457 --> 00:04:03,590 Is he hot? 97 00:04:03,708 --> 00:04:06,209 I freshen for every meeting, doll. 98 00:04:06,344 --> 00:04:07,294 Please don't worry about Lyla. 99 00:04:07,428 --> 00:04:08,428 She'll turn up. 100 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:10,714 Ugh. 101 00:04:10,848 --> 00:04:13,100 The foundation under the house has shifted, 102 00:04:13,184 --> 00:04:14,935 so the crack is gonna continue spreading 103 00:04:15,019 --> 00:04:16,770 unless you get a retaining wall. 104 00:04:16,888 --> 00:04:18,138 A retaining wall? 105 00:04:18,306 --> 00:04:21,274 Ugh, they're so bleak and prison-breaky. 106 00:04:21,392 --> 00:04:22,609 True, but they also keep your house 107 00:04:22,727 --> 00:04:24,060 from sliding down the hill. 108 00:04:24,195 --> 00:04:25,595 Yeah, well, Max, how urgent is this? 109 00:04:25,646 --> 00:04:28,315 Because we cannot cancel Lilly's birthday party. 110 00:04:28,399 --> 00:04:29,783 Well, I mean, unless said party's 111 00:04:29,901 --> 00:04:31,061 gonna be sliding down a hill. 112 00:04:31,119 --> 00:04:32,439 And I can't do it next week either 113 00:04:32,487 --> 00:04:34,454 because Jo's coming to visit me, and she's staying here. 114 00:04:34,572 --> 00:04:35,655 Jo? Jo the ho? 115 00:04:35,823 --> 00:04:37,124 Don't call her that. 116 00:04:37,241 --> 00:04:38,801 That's how she introduced herself to me. 117 00:04:38,876 --> 00:04:40,794 I believe she also introduced herself to you 118 00:04:40,878 --> 00:04:41,878 with her vagina. 119 00:04:41,963 --> 00:04:44,998 - Please don't. - Hello, hello, Max. 120 00:04:45,166 --> 00:04:47,000 First time, vagina. Don't remind me. 121 00:04:47,168 --> 00:04:48,728 Okay, I thought you broke up with her. 122 00:04:48,836 --> 00:04:50,236 - She's a crazy person. - You hated her. 123 00:04:50,254 --> 00:04:51,254 So it's my fault? 124 00:04:51,339 --> 00:04:52,672 We were married. I picked you. 125 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:54,508 Oh, that is convenient. 126 00:04:54,592 --> 00:04:56,272 It's the guy I called about the estimate. 127 00:04:56,344 --> 00:04:58,929 Look, we don't need to deal with the foundation today, 128 00:04:59,013 --> 00:05:00,564 but it needs to be handled soon. 129 00:05:00,681 --> 00:05:03,517 Oh, um, Lilly called me about her birthday dress. 130 00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:04,851 I haven't gotten her anything yet, so is it okay if-- 131 00:05:04,986 --> 00:05:06,486 - It's a little pricey, so-- - Okay. 132 00:05:06,571 --> 00:05:08,738 You know what, just get it. 133 00:05:08,856 --> 00:05:10,357 Sure, yeah. 134 00:05:10,441 --> 00:05:12,275 Okay. 135 00:05:13,744 --> 00:05:14,861 And... 136 00:05:14,946 --> 00:05:16,496 And about last night-- The other--not last night, 137 00:05:16,614 --> 00:05:18,365 the other night, um... Yeah, well- 138 00:05:18,449 --> 00:05:20,367 - We should, um... - Are we okay? 139 00:05:20,501 --> 00:05:21,668 - Yeah. - Yeah? 140 00:05:21,752 --> 00:05:23,537 Yeah, I mean, is there anything you need to talk about? 141 00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:26,173 - No, no, good, good, good. - Okay, good. 142 00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:27,707 Um, I do want to mention that, 143 00:05:27,842 --> 00:05:28,842 you know, me and Becca are still, 144 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:30,680 - you know, together. - Of course. I get that. 145 00:05:30,795 --> 00:05:32,128 - Okay, just saying. - Yeah, I get that. 146 00:05:32,213 --> 00:05:34,297 Good. 147 00:05:34,432 --> 00:05:36,466 Do you and Becca use protection? 148 00:05:36,551 --> 00:05:38,018 Yeah. 149 00:05:38,102 --> 00:05:39,219 Oh, yeah, nothing's been spread. 150 00:05:39,353 --> 00:05:40,971 No one's been contaminated, Abby. 151 00:05:41,055 --> 00:05:42,973 Okay. 152 00:05:43,107 --> 00:05:44,558 Are you still on the pill, by the way, because-- 153 00:05:44,725 --> 00:05:46,393 Oh-- Oh, my god. 154 00:05:46,477 --> 00:05:48,478 - Charlie, hey. - Charlie! 155 00:05:48,613 --> 00:05:49,653 Come here. Give me the gun. 156 00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:50,564 You can't shoot things in the house. 157 00:05:50,731 --> 00:05:52,032 You hit Mom right in the face. 158 00:05:52,116 --> 00:05:53,033 You got to be careful with that, okay? 159 00:05:53,150 --> 00:05:54,150 Come here. 160 00:05:54,202 --> 00:05:55,485 Can you apologize to your mom, please? 161 00:05:55,570 --> 00:05:57,120 It wasn't me. It was Chad. 162 00:05:57,238 --> 00:05:58,371 Okay, who's Chad? 163 00:05:58,489 --> 00:06:01,992 Chad is Charlie's new friend--invisible. 164 00:06:02,076 --> 00:06:04,911 Oh, Charlie, can I meet Chad? Where is he? 165 00:06:05,046 --> 00:06:07,247 Talk to him, maybe. Um, maybe later. 166 00:06:07,381 --> 00:06:10,884 He's kind of taking a dump right now. 167 00:06:10,968 --> 00:06:11,968 - Okay. - Ew. Wow. 168 00:06:12,003 --> 00:06:13,253 Hey, Uncle Max. 169 00:06:13,387 --> 00:06:15,027 - Hey, dude. - All right, what's the news? 170 00:06:15,056 --> 00:06:16,172 Oh, the good news is, 171 00:06:16,307 --> 00:06:17,757 my architect friend's giving you a good deal, 172 00:06:17,892 --> 00:06:20,227 but you're looking at about 20k. 173 00:06:20,311 --> 00:06:21,595 - Jesus. - Wow. 174 00:06:21,762 --> 00:06:23,597 How are we supposed to afford that? 175 00:06:23,764 --> 00:06:26,016 I mean, you could sell your Birkin. 176 00:06:26,150 --> 00:06:27,484 - Ha. - Right. 177 00:06:27,602 --> 00:06:28,802 You have always been resentful 178 00:06:28,853 --> 00:06:30,437 that Mom gave that to me when she purged her closet. 179 00:06:30,571 --> 00:06:33,189 Um, I might be able to swing it 180 00:06:33,324 --> 00:06:34,241 if you can give me some time. 181 00:06:34,358 --> 00:06:36,409 We'll see. 182 00:06:36,527 --> 00:06:39,162 - You can cover it? - Yes? I'm- 183 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:40,280 - Can you not do that please? - Hey, Charlie. 184 00:06:40,414 --> 00:06:41,948 Sorry, how? 185 00:06:42,083 --> 00:06:44,784 Okay, if you must, um, 186 00:06:44,919 --> 00:06:46,920 Joseph Gordon-Levitt read the Ukraine script 187 00:06:47,038 --> 00:06:48,558 and apparently he flipped over it, so-- 188 00:06:48,589 --> 00:06:49,923 - Jake, that's incredible! - Okay, I don't-- 189 00:06:50,041 --> 00:06:51,291 I don't know yet, so I don't want to jinx it. 190 00:06:51,459 --> 00:06:53,260 But, you know, obviously if he bites on it-- 191 00:06:53,377 --> 00:06:55,762 - Oh, my god, amazing. - It would be, but not yet. 192 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,298 Oh, my god. 193 00:06:58,432 --> 00:06:59,466 Look, I know it's really hard right now, 194 00:06:59,634 --> 00:07:01,101 but try not to stress about the money stuff. 195 00:07:01,185 --> 00:07:02,385 - Okay. - And we'll-- 196 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:03,386 Yeah, we're gonna focus on Lilly right now. 197 00:07:03,471 --> 00:07:04,688 Yeah. 198 00:07:04,805 --> 00:07:06,565 We're gonna give her the most unforgettable 199 00:07:06,607 --> 00:07:09,109 14-year-old birthday party ever possible. 200 00:07:09,193 --> 00:07:10,810 - 14-year-old-- - Oh, my god. 201 00:07:10,945 --> 00:07:13,446 Becca's coming. She said yes. 202 00:07:13,564 --> 00:07:15,565 Becca Riley's coming to my party. 203 00:07:18,069 --> 00:07:21,288 I didn't-- 204 00:07:21,405 --> 00:07:22,956 Your wife wants 70% of Courtney Beech 205 00:07:23,074 --> 00:07:25,325 including all shares in and out of America, 206 00:07:25,493 --> 00:07:27,711 full creative control, basically, all of it. 207 00:07:27,828 --> 00:07:28,995 That's not surprising. 208 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:32,332 So I have come up with a corporate assets proposal, 209 00:07:32,416 --> 00:07:33,333 if you look at the first page-- 210 00:07:33,417 --> 00:07:36,169 Something's different. 211 00:07:36,337 --> 00:07:37,837 - Excuse me? - Your hair. 212 00:07:38,005 --> 00:07:40,056 You're wearing your hair differently. 213 00:07:40,174 --> 00:07:41,591 I like it. It's a good look for you. 214 00:07:41,726 --> 00:07:43,393 You know what's not a good look? 215 00:07:43,511 --> 00:07:46,096 You, post-cardiac arrest when your ex walks away 216 00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:48,064 with all your money. 217 00:07:48,182 --> 00:07:49,316 I know what she wants. 218 00:07:49,433 --> 00:07:50,684 I'm not interested in playing dirty. 219 00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:53,486 It's not about dirty. It's about fair. 220 00:07:53,604 --> 00:07:55,155 You built the brand with her. 221 00:07:55,272 --> 00:07:56,656 Why should she be able to take you to the cleaners 222 00:07:56,774 --> 00:07:59,359 and talk trash in Vanity Fair? 223 00:07:59,493 --> 00:08:00,944 She's hurt. 224 00:08:01,078 --> 00:08:02,529 I really don't want to drag this out. 225 00:08:02,663 --> 00:08:04,197 Let's just give her whatever she wants, 226 00:08:04,332 --> 00:08:07,701 and I'll build a new brand. 227 00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:10,003 I'm ready to move on, Delia. 228 00:08:10,121 --> 00:08:12,539 Gordon, when you married Courtney, she had nothing. 229 00:08:12,673 --> 00:08:15,008 Now the company is a billion-dollar entity. 230 00:08:15,126 --> 00:08:19,346 You cannot bow out of this fight. 231 00:08:21,048 --> 00:08:24,084 Can you give us some privacy, please? 232 00:08:25,052 --> 00:08:28,638 Actually, she can't. 233 00:08:28,723 --> 00:08:29,723 She's notating. 234 00:08:29,724 --> 00:08:32,058 Oh, right. Sorry. 235 00:08:32,193 --> 00:08:34,561 So how do you think we should handle this? 236 00:08:36,897 --> 00:08:39,032 I'm sorry, Mr. Beech. 237 00:08:39,150 --> 00:08:40,400 I have to take this. 238 00:08:40,568 --> 00:08:43,236 Give me a moment. 239 00:08:43,404 --> 00:08:44,988 We're off the clock. 240 00:08:57,084 --> 00:08:58,164 Everything all right, doll? 241 00:08:58,169 --> 00:09:01,838 First of all, Jake's embryo, Becca, 242 00:09:01,922 --> 00:09:04,174 invited herself to Lilly's birthday party. 243 00:09:04,258 --> 00:09:06,092 What? That's outrageous. 244 00:09:06,227 --> 00:09:07,761 It is outrageous. 245 00:09:07,928 --> 00:09:11,731 And he just stood there, like, staring, dead-eyed, 246 00:09:11,816 --> 00:09:13,600 like the shark in Jaws, you know what I mean? 247 00:09:13,768 --> 00:09:15,435 This is what I think. 248 00:09:15,603 --> 00:09:18,688 I think that he is actually 249 00:09:18,823 --> 00:09:21,324 afraid of Becca's feelings, 250 00:09:21,442 --> 00:09:24,360 like if he takes her little juice box away, she might cry. 251 00:09:24,495 --> 00:09:26,579 - Calm down. - Ugh. 252 00:09:26,697 --> 00:09:27,914 Are you driving? 253 00:09:27,998 --> 00:09:29,416 I can't believe I just slept with that asshole. 254 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,500 Whoa! 255 00:09:30,501 --> 00:09:31,868 What? 256 00:09:32,002 --> 00:09:33,870 Shit. 257 00:09:33,954 --> 00:09:34,954 Abby? 258 00:09:35,005 --> 00:09:36,456 Are you okay? Are you okay? 259 00:09:36,624 --> 00:09:37,624 Did you see that? 260 00:09:37,708 --> 00:09:39,459 - Hi. - Look where you're going. 261 00:09:40,859 --> 00:09:44,310 On Monday, I'd love that if you're cool with that. 262 00:09:44,445 --> 00:09:46,229 Cool. 263 00:09:46,613 --> 00:09:48,815 6:30's great. 264 00:09:49,149 --> 00:09:50,783 Oh, yeah, tot-- No, I love that place. 265 00:09:50,901 --> 00:09:52,451 It's great. It's right-- 266 00:09:52,569 --> 00:09:55,121 The address is the-- Um, I do. 267 00:09:56,373 --> 00:09:57,373 Yeah. Oh, right, yeah. 268 00:09:57,407 --> 00:09:59,158 Yeah, yeah, just below it, right? 269 00:09:59,292 --> 00:10:02,745 No, no, no, I totally remember. I do. 270 00:10:02,879 --> 00:10:04,747 I'll see you there, dude. 271 00:10:04,881 --> 00:10:08,167 Um, right, totes. 272 00:10:08,301 --> 00:10:10,386 All right, bye. 273 00:10:10,504 --> 00:10:12,671 Oh, my god! 274 00:10:12,839 --> 00:10:14,807 My god, somebody is happy! What? 275 00:10:18,311 --> 00:10:19,345 That was Joseph Gordon-Levitt. 276 00:10:19,429 --> 00:10:21,564 - Like, from Inception? - Uh-huh. 277 00:10:21,681 --> 00:10:22,921 Like, from Days of Summer? 278 00:10:22,933 --> 00:10:24,850 - Uh-huh. - My god, I love him. 279 00:10:24,985 --> 00:10:27,520 Oh, he's so h-- Talented. 280 00:10:27,654 --> 00:10:28,737 Hot! Hot. 281 00:10:28,855 --> 00:10:31,023 You can even say he's hot. He's hot. 282 00:10:31,191 --> 00:10:32,158 And he wants to sit down with me 283 00:10:32,275 --> 00:10:34,527 for one-on-one, soon. 284 00:10:34,611 --> 00:10:36,529 - Monday. - Oh, my god. 285 00:10:36,663 --> 00:10:38,330 Your movie is totally getting made. 286 00:10:38,465 --> 00:10:39,331 Oh, my god, 287 00:10:39,449 --> 00:10:40,616 - what is happening... - Babe! 288 00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:42,284 - in my life right now? - You're blowing up. 289 00:10:42,419 --> 00:10:44,703 I'm so proud of you. 290 00:10:44,788 --> 00:10:45,838 Did I kind of sound like an idiot? 291 00:10:45,922 --> 00:10:47,339 Did I sound like I was pushing a little hard? 292 00:10:47,457 --> 00:10:49,057 I think I said "totes" at one point and-- 293 00:10:49,092 --> 00:10:50,376 Jake, relax. 294 00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:52,928 He's a really smart guy. He's going to love you. 295 00:10:54,047 --> 00:10:55,631 Oh, when I tell my EP about this, 296 00:10:55,765 --> 00:10:59,185 you'll totally get that empty Blood Sisters directing slot. 297 00:10:59,269 --> 00:11:00,386 - Yeah. - What? 298 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:01,887 - We talked about this. - Seriously? 299 00:11:01,972 --> 00:11:03,222 Yeah, I mean, 300 00:11:03,306 --> 00:11:05,441 it's not like your movie starts shooting tomorrow. 301 00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:07,943 I know, but I got great news, like, five seconds ago. 302 00:11:08,061 --> 00:11:09,028 Can we just give it a minute before-- 303 00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:10,529 Okay, I'm sorry. 304 00:11:10,647 --> 00:11:12,898 I just thought a gig equals money, so why not do both? 305 00:11:13,066 --> 00:11:15,951 No, it does, it's just, you know, that's my project, 306 00:11:16,069 --> 00:11:17,069 and the other thing is-- 307 00:11:17,237 --> 00:11:18,904 Just my stupid CW show? 308 00:11:19,072 --> 00:11:21,240 No, that's not what I meant. 309 00:11:21,374 --> 00:11:24,410 Um, it's just not my thing. 310 00:11:24,494 --> 00:11:25,814 Great. That makes me feel great. 311 00:11:25,912 --> 00:11:27,496 No, Becca, I'm a middle-aged man. 312 00:11:27,581 --> 00:11:30,216 Like, the demo on the CW for that is, like, six dudes, 313 00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:31,217 and they're probably all bronies. 314 00:11:31,334 --> 00:11:32,454 You know what, never mind. 315 00:11:32,469 --> 00:11:34,503 I didn't mean to make a thing of it. 316 00:11:38,091 --> 00:11:39,091 Hey. 317 00:11:39,092 --> 00:11:40,092 You know what? 318 00:11:40,093 --> 00:11:41,927 You're right about the money, 319 00:11:42,095 --> 00:11:45,598 but I'm fine, and... 320 00:11:45,682 --> 00:11:46,765 I love the show. 321 00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:48,684 I think you are a brilliant actress on it. 322 00:11:48,818 --> 00:11:53,189 I was having a moment and did not mean to bag on your show. 323 00:11:53,323 --> 00:11:55,274 - I'm sorry. - Okay, thank you. 324 00:12:00,113 --> 00:12:01,947 Oh, my god. 325 00:12:02,115 --> 00:12:04,450 Oh, Lilly invited me to her birthday party. 326 00:12:04,618 --> 00:12:05,668 You're cool with me going, right? 327 00:12:05,785 --> 00:12:06,835 Yeah. 328 00:12:06,953 --> 00:12:09,622 - I think that'll be fun. - Yeah, me too. 329 00:12:12,709 --> 00:12:13,926 Thank you very much. 330 00:12:14,044 --> 00:12:15,044 No problem. 331 00:12:17,097 --> 00:12:19,715 I almost killed a future leader today, Joey Kessler. 332 00:12:19,799 --> 00:12:21,300 What? Oh, my god. 333 00:12:21,434 --> 00:12:23,135 Delia, I can't handle a lecture 334 00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,304 on how sleeping with your soon-to-be ex-husband 335 00:12:25,438 --> 00:12:26,639 changes the date of separation, okay? 336 00:12:26,806 --> 00:12:28,941 Wait, what? 337 00:12:29,025 --> 00:12:32,561 Hello, and I tried calling you several times. 338 00:12:32,646 --> 00:12:35,481 I know, I've just been really slammed this week. 339 00:12:37,867 --> 00:12:40,236 I feel terrible about bailing on you in Vegas. 340 00:12:40,370 --> 00:12:41,237 I'm so sorry. 341 00:12:41,321 --> 00:12:42,621 Good. 342 00:12:42,739 --> 00:12:43,989 And I haven't been in my right mind, admittedly. 343 00:12:44,124 --> 00:12:46,075 No, you are not. You slept with Jake... 344 00:12:46,209 --> 00:12:48,460 - Evidence. - So I forgive you. 345 00:12:48,578 --> 00:12:50,045 How was it? How was the sex? 346 00:12:50,163 --> 00:12:54,083 It was fine. It was good. 347 00:12:54,217 --> 00:12:58,003 We were, you know, loaded, so it was great. 348 00:12:59,839 --> 00:13:01,724 Call me crazy, but I think his dick has gotten bigger. 349 00:13:01,841 --> 00:13:03,676 Both: No. 350 00:13:03,843 --> 00:13:05,003 - Doesn't happen. - Or maybe-- 351 00:13:05,011 --> 00:13:07,096 Maybe he lost weight or-- I don't know. 352 00:13:07,230 --> 00:13:08,514 Either way, it was really-- 353 00:13:08,682 --> 00:13:10,399 It was really exceptional sex. 354 00:13:10,517 --> 00:13:11,600 Well, if that's the case, 355 00:13:11,735 --> 00:13:13,519 then I think it's legally appropriate 356 00:13:13,603 --> 00:13:15,154 for you to screw his brains out again. 357 00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:17,406 No, I can't even look him in the face 358 00:13:17,524 --> 00:13:19,241 now that Becca has made herself the star attraction 359 00:13:19,359 --> 00:13:20,399 of Lilly's birthday party. 360 00:13:20,443 --> 00:13:22,194 - She's coming to the party? - Yeah. 361 00:13:22,362 --> 00:13:23,912 Mama, it is your house. 362 00:13:24,030 --> 00:13:25,748 Absolutely. I couldn't agree more. 363 00:13:25,865 --> 00:13:27,533 You need to call her 364 00:13:27,667 --> 00:13:30,252 and un-invite little Ms. Blood Sister and her evil twin. 365 00:13:30,370 --> 00:13:33,706 And her evil twin, yes. 366 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,207 Yeah, I know, you're both right. 367 00:13:35,375 --> 00:13:36,875 - Um, is that Lyla? - No. 368 00:13:37,010 --> 00:13:38,627 - It's Ralf. - Where is she? 369 00:13:38,762 --> 00:13:41,130 - She is MIA. - Ladies, Lyla is a big girl. 370 00:13:41,214 --> 00:13:42,214 If she needs your help, she'll call. 371 00:13:42,349 --> 00:13:44,049 - Yeah. - Yeah. 372 00:13:44,217 --> 00:13:46,435 All right, chicas, I am gonna go. 373 00:13:46,553 --> 00:13:49,221 - Where are you going? - Ralf wants to play. 374 00:13:49,356 --> 00:13:51,890 Oh, look at you, you're such a good little concubine. 375 00:13:51,975 --> 00:13:54,375 I have had a bad week, and he wants to make me feel better. 376 00:13:54,477 --> 00:13:55,894 Both: With his penis. - Jinx. 377 00:13:57,647 --> 00:14:00,282 So Jake-- Give me the blow by blow. 378 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,618 Well, there was only one blow, 379 00:14:02,736 --> 00:14:04,870 but we did do a lot of other stuff. 380 00:14:11,828 --> 00:14:14,213 - Hi, how you feeling? - Better now. 381 00:14:14,297 --> 00:14:17,583 Good. I don't like it when you're down. 382 00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:21,420 I'm hungry. Take me out to eat. 383 00:14:21,588 --> 00:14:23,672 Uh, I can't. I have something. 384 00:14:23,807 --> 00:14:25,487 Well, that doesn't leave much time for us 385 00:14:25,592 --> 00:14:26,592 to go again, does it? 386 00:14:26,593 --> 00:14:28,477 Yeah. 387 00:14:28,595 --> 00:14:32,314 Phoebe, I mean, you know I adore you. 388 00:14:33,683 --> 00:14:35,401 Ah. 389 00:14:35,485 --> 00:14:36,985 What's her name? 390 00:14:39,656 --> 00:14:41,357 Carla. 391 00:14:41,491 --> 00:14:43,075 She works at the new hotel, 392 00:14:43,193 --> 00:14:46,945 and she wouldn't appreciate our little arrangement. 393 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,331 No wonder it was so good. 394 00:14:49,449 --> 00:14:50,833 It was our last time. 395 00:14:53,086 --> 00:14:56,121 Carla. 396 00:14:56,289 --> 00:14:57,790 Is it serious? 397 00:14:59,292 --> 00:15:02,511 I care about her. 398 00:15:02,629 --> 00:15:04,763 And I have something for you, a proper gift. 399 00:15:04,848 --> 00:15:07,266 Not to say good-bye but, 400 00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:09,885 uh, to commemorate the end of an era. 401 00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:23,198 - It's perfect. - Yeah. 402 00:15:23,316 --> 00:15:25,484 Let me help you. 403 00:15:42,469 --> 00:15:44,420 It's beautiful on you. 404 00:15:44,554 --> 00:15:45,721 Come on. 405 00:15:49,843 --> 00:15:51,176 How about now? 406 00:15:51,344 --> 00:15:54,179 Amazing, always, but I-- 407 00:15:54,314 --> 00:15:56,315 Now that I know it's our last time-- 408 00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:59,351 I can't-- I can't, okay? 409 00:16:06,359 --> 00:16:09,495 Okay. I should, um--I should go. 410 00:16:09,612 --> 00:16:12,498 Let me wash up, and I'll walk you to your car. 411 00:16:12,615 --> 00:16:15,834 No. I'm good, Daddy, really. 412 00:16:27,547 --> 00:16:30,549 Okay. Everything looks normal. 413 00:16:30,633 --> 00:16:34,219 Cool. Cervix is still up there. 414 00:16:34,354 --> 00:16:35,604 That's, uh-- 415 00:16:35,722 --> 00:16:37,773 Thanks. 416 00:16:37,891 --> 00:16:42,528 So I had, um, unprotected sex two nights ago, 417 00:16:42,612 --> 00:16:44,730 and I went off the pill after Jake and I split. 418 00:16:44,814 --> 00:16:46,482 - Abby. - I know. 419 00:16:46,616 --> 00:16:48,400 Unprotected, bad. 420 00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:52,154 Is it even possible that someone my age can have a healthy baby? 421 00:16:52,238 --> 00:16:53,872 Possible, yes. 422 00:16:53,957 --> 00:16:55,908 But the odds at your age are about 50/50. 423 00:16:56,492 --> 00:16:58,243 I see. 424 00:16:58,378 --> 00:17:00,879 Have you given any thought to the morning-after pill? 425 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,085 How long do I have for it to be effective? 426 00:17:07,253 --> 00:17:11,890 This one, give you about five days from the act. 427 00:17:12,008 --> 00:17:14,009 It's over the counter. You can take it at home. 428 00:17:14,093 --> 00:17:15,894 You may feel a few side effects. 429 00:17:16,012 --> 00:17:18,680 Dizziness, nausea, but any unpleasant feelings 430 00:17:18,815 --> 00:17:21,733 should pass quickly. 431 00:17:21,851 --> 00:17:22,935 I know it's a really big decision. 432 00:17:23,069 --> 00:17:24,686 You have any more questions? 433 00:17:24,771 --> 00:17:25,854 No, I'm good. 434 00:17:25,989 --> 00:17:27,856 Okay, take care of yourself, Abby. 435 00:17:27,941 --> 00:17:30,158 Okay. 436 00:17:39,002 --> 00:17:40,202 Where is he? 437 00:17:40,336 --> 00:17:41,336 Abby? Hey. 438 00:17:41,454 --> 00:17:43,622 I thought I was picking the kids up today. 439 00:17:43,756 --> 00:17:44,790 Yeah, you are. 440 00:17:44,924 --> 00:17:45,791 Lilly left her bag in my car. 441 00:17:45,925 --> 00:17:47,045 You can just give it to her. 442 00:17:47,126 --> 00:17:48,126 Okay. 443 00:17:48,127 --> 00:17:49,962 Hey, I heard you tried 444 00:17:50,046 --> 00:17:51,346 to run over Joey Kessler this morning. 445 00:17:51,464 --> 00:17:54,633 Jake, I think you need to dis-invite Becca. 446 00:17:54,717 --> 00:17:55,717 What? 447 00:17:55,718 --> 00:17:56,802 I just think it sends 448 00:17:56,970 --> 00:17:57,803 the wrong message to Lilly's friends. 449 00:17:57,937 --> 00:17:59,137 What message? 450 00:17:59,305 --> 00:18:00,138 It's a birthday party. It's one afternoon. 451 00:18:00,273 --> 00:18:01,273 It's an afternoon that 452 00:18:01,391 --> 00:18:03,191 should be about our daughter turning 14 453 00:18:03,309 --> 00:18:04,359 and not some cw actress. 454 00:18:04,477 --> 00:18:06,728 Some cw actress? 455 00:18:06,813 --> 00:18:08,397 - Really? - Sorry. 456 00:18:08,531 --> 00:18:09,815 - Can we not, please? - Sorry. 457 00:18:09,949 --> 00:18:13,285 Look, I'm just not really very comfortable with it. 458 00:18:13,403 --> 00:18:14,963 Well, you know what? It's not about you. 459 00:18:15,038 --> 00:18:18,824 It's about Lilly, and she wants Becca there, so-- 460 00:18:18,992 --> 00:18:21,043 Okay, that's good. 461 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:22,578 - Good? - You know what? 462 00:18:22,662 --> 00:18:24,880 Why don't I just skip the whole thing, and you two can host? 463 00:18:24,998 --> 00:18:26,498 Oh, my-- Are you serious right now? 464 00:18:26,633 --> 00:18:27,993 Yeah, you know what, you can invite 465 00:18:28,001 --> 00:18:30,469 all of Lilly's fake new friends, 466 00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:32,971 and they can tweet about how awesome it is, 467 00:18:33,089 --> 00:18:34,590 and maybe even get TMZ to show up. 468 00:18:34,724 --> 00:18:36,164 Okay, what are you doing right now? 469 00:18:36,225 --> 00:18:38,927 What are you doing? The crack in the foundation. 470 00:18:39,062 --> 00:18:40,812 Things like that are going to keep on happening, 471 00:18:40,897 --> 00:18:42,731 and maybe we won't even be able to afford it. 472 00:18:42,849 --> 00:18:44,369 Then we have to sell the house. What? 473 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,185 And then Lilly's last memory of her whole birthdapart 474 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,237 at the house that we raised her in, that she grew up in, 475 00:18:49,355 --> 00:18:50,875 is gonna just be all about Becca Riley. 476 00:18:51,024 --> 00:18:53,859 Abby, we are a long way from having to sell the house. 477 00:18:53,993 --> 00:18:57,362 Okay? What's going on? 478 00:18:57,497 --> 00:18:58,864 What is this? Are you okay? 479 00:18:58,998 --> 00:18:59,948 I have a thing. I have to go. 480 00:19:00,083 --> 00:19:01,067 I'm fine. 481 00:19:14,396 --> 00:19:16,916 Hey. How's the Beech depo prep going? 482 00:19:17,084 --> 00:19:18,584 Good, we got some good precedent 483 00:19:18,719 --> 00:19:20,253 to go after those foreign assets. 484 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,221 Okay, great. 485 00:19:22,306 --> 00:19:25,007 And by the way, Beech is very happy with your work, 486 00:19:25,092 --> 00:19:28,261 but I'm guessing you already know that. 487 00:19:28,395 --> 00:19:29,478 Look, Al, I don't know what you've heard, 488 00:19:29,596 --> 00:19:31,564 but I am not encouraging anything. 489 00:19:31,682 --> 00:19:33,933 - I promise. - What are you talking about? 490 00:19:34,017 --> 00:19:36,686 You know, I ran into him the other night at Mozza, 491 00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:38,905 - and he was raving about you. - Oh. 492 00:19:39,022 --> 00:19:40,823 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, good. 493 00:19:40,941 --> 00:19:43,693 The paralegal saw him get a little forward with me today, 494 00:19:43,777 --> 00:19:45,278 and I just want to go on record 495 00:19:45,412 --> 00:19:46,662 saying that I'm not encouraging anything. 496 00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:48,581 Please. 497 00:19:48,699 --> 00:19:50,700 You know how guys are in the middle of a divorce. 498 00:19:50,784 --> 00:19:52,752 Their lawyer is their therapist, 499 00:19:52,836 --> 00:19:56,873 and when that lawyer is an attractive, single woman... 500 00:19:57,007 --> 00:19:58,758 You want me to talk to him? 501 00:19:58,842 --> 00:20:01,010 - Or I can bring somebody else in. - Absolutely not. 502 00:20:01,128 --> 00:20:03,546 This is a huge case. I can handle him. 503 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,631 I know you can. That's why we put him with you. 504 00:20:05,799 --> 00:20:06,799 You're a ball crusher. 505 00:20:06,884 --> 00:20:09,852 Oh, Al, you say the sweetest things. 506 00:20:12,222 --> 00:20:17,410 Hey, Al, about Lyla, the whole leave of absence spin, 507 00:20:17,511 --> 00:20:18,694 what's really going on? 508 00:20:18,812 --> 00:20:20,112 Ah. 509 00:20:20,230 --> 00:20:23,232 Okay, how do I put this delicately? 510 00:20:25,319 --> 00:20:26,869 Lyla's freaking batshit. 511 00:20:28,822 --> 00:20:32,158 That's just my legal opinion. 512 00:20:32,292 --> 00:20:33,771 - Have a good night. - You too. 513 00:20:38,548 --> 00:20:40,166 So do you think she'll like it? 514 00:20:40,334 --> 00:20:42,835 Yeah, I mean, wow, how much was that? 515 00:20:43,003 --> 00:20:47,006 Um, I don't know, it was in my Emmys gift bag. 516 00:20:47,090 --> 00:20:49,258 - Like, 500 bucks? - Oh. 517 00:20:49,393 --> 00:20:51,644 - Wow. - Too much? 518 00:20:51,762 --> 00:20:53,262 Yeah, I kind of-- I mean, 519 00:20:53,347 --> 00:20:56,182 that's more than Lilly's yearly allowance, so-- 520 00:20:56,316 --> 00:20:58,351 Right, sorry. 521 00:20:58,485 --> 00:21:00,569 I don't know this stuff. 522 00:21:00,687 --> 00:21:01,854 It's not like I got a normal childhood. 523 00:21:01,939 --> 00:21:04,490 I spent my 14th birthday in the back of a grip truck 524 00:21:04,608 --> 00:21:06,859 - with a bunch of teamsters. - Hey, hey, no. 525 00:21:06,994 --> 00:21:10,112 No apologizing. 526 00:21:10,247 --> 00:21:12,498 I love that watch. I like it for myself. 527 00:21:12,616 --> 00:21:14,033 - Can I wear it? - Oh, sure, anytime. 528 00:21:14,117 --> 00:21:15,397 Can we make it into a necklace? 529 00:21:15,419 --> 00:21:17,670 - Or, like, a choker? - Or, like, a belt? 530 00:21:22,509 --> 00:21:24,669 Seriously, don't apologize. It's a really nice gesture. 531 00:21:24,711 --> 00:21:26,295 - Okay. - We'll get her something else. 532 00:21:26,430 --> 00:21:30,132 You know, it's confusing. 533 00:21:30,217 --> 00:21:31,434 - All these rules. - I know. 534 00:21:31,551 --> 00:21:32,802 I think you're doing amazing. 535 00:21:32,886 --> 00:21:35,554 I mean, I--half the time I don't know what's right, 536 00:21:35,722 --> 00:21:36,639 so how are you supposed to? 537 00:21:36,773 --> 00:21:39,225 I really care about you. 538 00:21:39,393 --> 00:21:40,693 I don't want to overstep, 539 00:21:40,811 --> 00:21:43,062 but at the same time, I do exist. 540 00:21:43,230 --> 00:21:46,315 - You know? - I know, and Lilly loves you. 541 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,735 Well, like, when Lilly texted me about her birthday party, 542 00:21:49,870 --> 00:21:51,570 what am I supposed to say? 543 00:21:51,705 --> 00:21:54,573 Yeah. 544 00:21:54,708 --> 00:21:56,909 We actually should talk about that. 545 00:21:58,462 --> 00:22:00,413 Wait, was it a mistake to say yes? 546 00:22:00,547 --> 00:22:01,547 No. 547 00:22:01,581 --> 00:22:05,217 I mean, it did create a bit of a mess 548 00:22:05,302 --> 00:22:07,253 - between me and-- - Abby. 549 00:22:07,387 --> 00:22:08,421 Yeah. 550 00:22:08,555 --> 00:22:09,755 You said you were fine with me going. 551 00:22:09,923 --> 00:22:12,008 I am fine with it, but that's an example of a time 552 00:22:12,142 --> 00:22:13,259 where I wish you would've asked me first. 553 00:22:13,393 --> 00:22:16,395 Well, then why didn't you tell me that? 554 00:22:16,513 --> 00:22:17,980 'Cause I didn't want to hurt your feelings. 555 00:22:18,098 --> 00:22:20,349 Jake, Lilly invited me. 556 00:22:20,484 --> 00:22:22,768 I know. It's complicated, okay? 557 00:22:22,903 --> 00:22:24,270 I'm just being honest here. 558 00:22:24,404 --> 00:22:26,324 I'm just telling you what's going on, that's all. 559 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,442 - Yeah, I really appreciate - Yeah, obviously. 560 00:22:29,576 --> 00:22:32,695 Know what? I just won't go. 561 00:22:43,206 --> 00:22:46,008 This from you? Seriously? 562 00:22:46,126 --> 00:22:49,378 Oh, Lilly's been so obsessed with her appearance lately. 563 00:22:49,513 --> 00:22:53,766 I blame Becca Riley, also known as Satan's spawn. 564 00:22:53,884 --> 00:22:55,684 This actually looks kind of amazing. 565 00:22:55,802 --> 00:22:57,636 - Yeah. - Maybe I could use this. 566 00:22:57,771 --> 00:23:01,273 - Get some attention. - From Ford? 567 00:23:01,391 --> 00:23:02,725 - Mm. - Come on. 568 00:23:02,859 --> 00:23:04,560 I heard his speech at the gala. 569 00:23:04,694 --> 00:23:06,145 The man loves you more than anything. 570 00:23:06,279 --> 00:23:11,984 Yeah, well, love has not translated into action. 571 00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:14,403 Not for a long time. 572 00:23:14,538 --> 00:23:16,322 Really? 573 00:23:16,490 --> 00:23:17,706 Jump him. 574 00:23:17,824 --> 00:23:20,576 Yeah, well, I tried, but he's always exhausted. 575 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,996 Well, jump him anyway. He'll remember he likes it. 576 00:23:24,164 --> 00:23:25,965 I promise. 577 00:23:26,049 --> 00:23:28,884 Or you can wait till Jo comes here next week. 578 00:23:29,002 --> 00:23:31,387 Sure she'll be willing to give you another tumble. 579 00:23:35,592 --> 00:23:37,843 I slept with Jake. 580 00:23:42,649 --> 00:23:45,317 Say something. 581 00:23:45,402 --> 00:23:47,987 Uh, like, makeup sex? 582 00:23:48,105 --> 00:23:51,273 Like, drunken, loaded sex. 583 00:23:52,492 --> 00:23:54,827 And we didn't use protection. 584 00:23:54,945 --> 00:23:56,195 Oh. 585 00:23:56,329 --> 00:23:59,698 Oh, wow, wow. Um... 586 00:24:00,383 --> 00:24:04,420 So there's a possibility that you could be... 587 00:24:04,538 --> 00:24:05,704 - Yes. - Pregnant. 588 00:24:09,009 --> 00:24:12,344 Uh, have you told him? 589 00:24:12,462 --> 00:24:14,262 No. Not yet. I don't want to worry him and-- 590 00:24:14,297 --> 00:24:17,383 Okay. Um... 591 00:24:17,517 --> 00:24:19,969 Abby, do you really see yourself, like, breast-feeding 592 00:24:20,103 --> 00:24:21,183 and changing diapers again? 593 00:24:21,221 --> 00:24:24,773 Maybe. Maybe, yeah. 594 00:24:24,891 --> 00:24:26,108 What? 595 00:24:26,226 --> 00:24:27,610 I know you and Jake aren't 596 00:24:27,727 --> 00:24:29,395 you and Jake anymore, 597 00:24:29,479 --> 00:24:31,280 but I still see it, Abs. 598 00:24:31,398 --> 00:24:32,398 There's love there. 599 00:24:32,399 --> 00:24:36,402 Well, 17 years is a long time. 600 00:24:36,486 --> 00:24:39,121 I mean, we built this house together. 601 00:24:39,239 --> 00:24:42,291 Just be practical, okay? 602 00:24:42,409 --> 00:24:44,243 Having a baby to save a marriage is-- 603 00:24:44,377 --> 00:24:47,114 Yeah, I know, it's stupid. 604 00:24:48,548 --> 00:24:51,300 All I can remember is the smell of baby head. 605 00:24:51,418 --> 00:24:54,753 When Lilly was born, I looked at her, 606 00:24:54,888 --> 00:24:59,925 red-faced and pissed off and screaming at me. 607 00:25:00,010 --> 00:25:02,678 I just thought: "There she is. 608 00:25:02,812 --> 00:25:05,764 There is the love that I've been looking for my whole life." 609 00:25:07,901 --> 00:25:09,235 Becca called. 610 00:25:09,319 --> 00:25:10,236 She said she can't come to the party anymore. 611 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,154 - What did you do? - Lilly-- 612 00:25:12,272 --> 00:25:13,822 This isn't fair. She's one of my best friends. 613 00:25:13,940 --> 00:25:17,026 Oh, you cannot believe that she's one of your best friends. 614 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,712 - Oh, like you'd understand. - Can we-- 615 00:25:19,829 --> 00:25:21,629 - Just leave me alone! - Can we talk about it? 616 00:25:21,698 --> 00:25:23,949 I just want to talk about it. 617 00:25:24,084 --> 00:25:27,219 - Um, do you--you want me to-- - Be my guest. 618 00:25:27,337 --> 00:25:30,005 Lilly? 619 00:25:30,123 --> 00:25:31,123 Sweetie. 620 00:25:53,305 --> 00:25:55,473 I know you really knocked yourself out, mama, 621 00:25:55,607 --> 00:25:56,687 but this party is terrible. 622 00:25:56,691 --> 00:25:57,691 I know. 623 00:25:57,809 --> 00:25:59,860 It's just all about you-know-who. 624 00:25:59,978 --> 00:26:01,562 It's like I invited Princess Jasmine 625 00:26:01,696 --> 00:26:02,813 and then I killed her. 626 00:26:02,948 --> 00:26:04,448 I'm a Princess murderer. 627 00:26:04,566 --> 00:26:06,700 Please. You did the right thing. 628 00:26:06,818 --> 00:26:08,035 I applaud you. 629 00:26:08,153 --> 00:26:12,039 Well, stop clapping because I left Becca a message 630 00:26:12,157 --> 00:26:13,157 and re-invited. 631 00:26:13,158 --> 00:26:15,659 - Why? - What? 632 00:26:15,794 --> 00:26:17,495 Just because Jake is her bitch, 633 00:26:17,629 --> 00:26:19,149 I don't need to be one too. Oh, my god. 634 00:26:19,214 --> 00:26:21,298 Why did I buy these? These are my stress food. 635 00:26:21,416 --> 00:26:23,417 There's a reason they're called Funyuns, babe. 636 00:26:23,552 --> 00:26:25,252 'Cause they're fun onions. 637 00:26:25,337 --> 00:26:27,505 Ooh, baby, look at that bling. 638 00:26:27,639 --> 00:26:28,839 I know, it's blinding me. 639 00:26:28,974 --> 00:26:30,808 Someone should give this woman an award. 640 00:26:30,909 --> 00:26:33,594 She has mastered the art of divorced sex. 641 00:26:33,728 --> 00:26:35,646 Yes, you should. 642 00:26:35,764 --> 00:26:37,848 - Oh. - Oh. 643 00:26:37,933 --> 00:26:39,350 Lyla! 644 00:26:39,484 --> 00:26:41,185 "Relax, stalkers. I'll call you soon." 645 00:26:41,319 --> 00:26:42,736 Oh, god, I told you. 646 00:26:42,854 --> 00:26:44,738 I don't even know what to say. 647 00:26:44,856 --> 00:26:47,775 You know what, screw it. I'm so sick of her selfishness. 648 00:26:47,909 --> 00:26:49,577 That is very un-Phoebe-like of you. 649 00:26:49,694 --> 00:26:52,913 - Good. - I'm working on a new Phoebe. 650 00:26:53,031 --> 00:26:55,031 And new Phoebe doesn't like to be taken for granted 651 00:26:55,033 --> 00:26:56,417 by people she cares about. 652 00:26:56,535 --> 00:27:01,038 So... That's what I think. 653 00:27:01,122 --> 00:27:02,756 God, these are so good. I know, they're so good. 654 00:27:02,874 --> 00:27:04,508 No, don't eat them. I'm gonna take them away. 655 00:27:07,045 --> 00:27:09,797 Oh, Lilly just went off with Jade. 656 00:27:09,881 --> 00:27:11,182 I don't trust that girl. 657 00:27:11,299 --> 00:27:13,467 She's fast. 658 00:27:13,602 --> 00:27:16,687 - I was fast. - You still are. 659 00:27:16,771 --> 00:27:18,889 Lilly! 660 00:27:20,942 --> 00:27:23,227 Lilly. 661 00:27:23,361 --> 00:27:26,280 Oh, my god, it's Becca Riley! 662 00:27:26,398 --> 00:27:28,699 Hey. Where's the birthday girl? 663 00:27:33,655 --> 00:27:34,705 Hey, beautiful. 664 00:27:34,789 --> 00:27:37,124 Happy Birthday. 665 00:27:39,294 --> 00:27:41,662 Oh, my god, it's the one she wore on Undercover Models. 666 00:27:41,796 --> 00:27:43,914 I love it so much. Thank you! 667 00:27:44,049 --> 00:27:46,750 I'll give you $100 if you punch Becca in the boob. 668 00:27:46,885 --> 00:27:50,304 I'm so glad you like it. 669 00:27:50,422 --> 00:27:52,673 Abby, thank you for the invitation. 670 00:27:52,757 --> 00:27:54,437 No, I am--I'm thrilled you could make it. 671 00:27:54,476 --> 00:27:55,342 So pretty! 672 00:27:56,978 --> 00:27:59,513 I can't believe she made it. 673 00:27:59,598 --> 00:28:01,398 This is a pool party, isn't it? 674 00:28:01,516 --> 00:28:03,150 Why isn't everybody dancing in the pool? 675 00:28:03,268 --> 00:28:04,735 Come on! 676 00:28:18,199 --> 00:28:19,416 Becca. 677 00:28:24,623 --> 00:28:25,623 I'll be right back, okay? 678 00:28:25,674 --> 00:28:29,126 Keep the party going, birthday girl. 679 00:28:29,261 --> 00:28:30,761 I need a Tequila. 680 00:28:30,879 --> 00:28:32,346 Shot, now. 681 00:28:32,464 --> 00:28:35,466 Um, all my liquor is in the trunk of my car, so-- 682 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,218 That was smart. 683 00:28:42,857 --> 00:28:44,525 Do they-- Do they look-- 684 00:28:44,643 --> 00:28:45,859 Yeah, they're drunk. 685 00:28:50,565 --> 00:28:52,199 Hey. 686 00:28:52,317 --> 00:28:53,901 - Oh, look, it's her. - Oh, my god. 687 00:28:54,035 --> 00:28:55,035 I'm really glad you came. 688 00:28:55,036 --> 00:28:56,036 - Me too. - Um-- 689 00:28:56,037 --> 00:28:57,288 It was Abby. She called me. 690 00:28:57,405 --> 00:28:58,289 Really? That was nice of her. 691 00:28:58,406 --> 00:28:59,406 - Um... - Yeah. 692 00:28:59,491 --> 00:29:00,731 I'm sure Lilly's really pleased. 693 00:29:00,792 --> 00:29:02,076 I mean, I'm really pleased, 694 00:29:02,210 --> 00:29:03,577 and I'm sorry about the, um-- 695 00:29:03,712 --> 00:29:04,795 - Can we get a pic with you? - Yeah. 696 00:29:04,879 --> 00:29:05,879 Okay. 697 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,552 - Oh, my gosh, it looks so good. - All right, look- 698 00:29:11,670 --> 00:29:13,637 Oh, my god. 699 00:29:13,722 --> 00:29:16,173 - Sweet. - Hey. 700 00:29:16,341 --> 00:29:18,726 Look--oh, my god, maybe she wants a selfie. 701 00:29:18,843 --> 00:29:20,763 I think Lilly and her friends have been drinking. 702 00:29:20,812 --> 00:29:21,729 Really? Where did they get it? 703 00:29:21,846 --> 00:29:24,014 I don't know, this whole house is dry. 704 00:29:24,149 --> 00:29:25,432 What did Lilly say? 705 00:29:25,567 --> 00:29:27,351 Jake, Lilly lies about flushing the toilet. 706 00:29:27,519 --> 00:29:28,602 Max, can you come here for a second? 707 00:29:28,687 --> 00:29:29,853 I knew there was trouble the minute Jade showed up 708 00:29:29,938 --> 00:29:30,904 and they snuck into her bedroom 709 00:29:31,022 --> 00:29:31,905 right at the beginning of the party. 710 00:29:32,023 --> 00:29:33,741 Okay, Abby thinks that maybe 711 00:29:33,858 --> 00:29:35,826 the girls have taken something, are drinking something, 712 00:29:35,910 --> 00:29:37,528 so let's case the house, we'll find out what it is. 713 00:29:37,662 --> 00:29:39,830 - Okay? Top to bottom. - Wow, okay, CSI. 714 00:29:39,914 --> 00:29:41,281 They could be snorting nutmeg. 715 00:29:41,366 --> 00:29:43,283 I totally did it in junior high. 716 00:29:43,368 --> 00:29:45,252 - Okay. - What? 717 00:29:45,370 --> 00:29:47,037 Also check their bags for soda bottles-- 718 00:29:47,122 --> 00:29:49,873 That's where I snuck my liquor-- And medicine cabinets-- 719 00:29:50,008 --> 00:29:51,041 Always took my mom's painkillers. 720 00:29:51,176 --> 00:29:52,876 - Wow. - Um, okay. 721 00:29:53,044 --> 00:29:54,595 I think we should each pick a room and search it 722 00:29:54,713 --> 00:29:56,263 and try not to be too obvious about it. 723 00:29:56,381 --> 00:29:58,541 How is this happening? These girls are in eighth grade. 724 00:29:58,550 --> 00:30:00,467 - I'm gonna take the kitchen. Both: Okay. 725 00:30:00,602 --> 00:30:02,803 Max, can you just lifeguard, make sure nobody drowns? 726 00:30:02,887 --> 00:30:04,938 Or pukes in the pool. What? 727 00:30:05,056 --> 00:30:06,974 I got the bathroom and the living room. 728 00:30:07,108 --> 00:30:08,275 Okay, and Abby and I will take upstairs. 729 00:30:08,393 --> 00:30:10,153 If you find what those little shits are on, 730 00:30:10,228 --> 00:30:11,362 I got first dibs. 731 00:30:11,446 --> 00:30:13,246 I guess I'll just, um, keep watch down here. 732 00:30:13,314 --> 00:30:15,399 - Great. - Okay, let's do it. 733 00:30:15,533 --> 00:30:18,736 I'm just gonna, um-- I'm gonna check the bathroom. 734 00:30:25,043 --> 00:30:26,243 - Hey. - Hey. 735 00:30:26,378 --> 00:30:28,245 I looked in Lilly's room and Charlie's room. 736 00:30:28,329 --> 00:30:29,830 I didn't find anything. Did you? 737 00:30:29,914 --> 00:30:32,249 I did. 738 00:30:32,384 --> 00:30:34,051 Is this what I think it is? 739 00:30:48,650 --> 00:30:49,767 Oh, my god. 740 00:30:49,851 --> 00:30:51,568 - They just jumped in the pool. - Oh--oh, my god. 741 00:30:51,653 --> 00:30:52,653 - What-- - Oh, my god. 742 00:30:52,771 --> 00:30:53,654 What's happening? 743 00:30:53,772 --> 00:30:55,155 What the hell? 744 00:30:55,273 --> 00:30:56,573 I think there's some towels in the back house or something. 745 00:30:56,691 --> 00:30:58,525 Lilly, are you okay? 746 00:30:58,660 --> 00:31:01,195 - Becca, I got this. - Girls are weird. 747 00:31:01,329 --> 00:31:03,329 - Lilly, what's going on? - You're gonna freak out. 748 00:31:03,364 --> 00:31:04,644 Okay, I'm not going to freak out. 749 00:31:04,699 --> 00:31:06,333 You need to tell me what's happening. 750 00:31:06,451 --> 00:31:08,502 - What's going on? - I have no idea. 751 00:31:08,620 --> 00:31:10,170 Oh, my god. Oh, my god. 752 00:31:10,288 --> 00:31:12,456 We need to call poison control. Why? 753 00:31:12,624 --> 00:31:14,124 No, we need paramedics. No. 754 00:31:14,209 --> 00:31:15,459 Parents, we should call the parents, actually. 755 00:31:15,593 --> 00:31:17,961 - Okay, did they-- - I don't know who to call. 756 00:31:18,096 --> 00:31:19,263 Is it bath salts? 'Cause I've seen a thing. 757 00:31:19,380 --> 00:31:20,931 They eat each other's faces. We have to stop-- 758 00:31:21,015 --> 00:31:24,134 They soaked tampons in vodka. 759 00:31:24,269 --> 00:31:25,269 No. No way. 760 00:31:25,353 --> 00:31:27,554 Yes way, at first they started drinking, 761 00:31:27,689 --> 00:31:28,806 and then they didn't want the calories-- 762 00:31:28,940 --> 00:31:30,641 - Jade's idea-- - Hold on, hold on, hold on. 763 00:31:30,775 --> 00:31:33,644 - So what you're saying is-- - Their vaginas are on fire. 764 00:31:35,980 --> 00:31:37,898 Ow, it burns! 765 00:31:39,059 --> 00:31:40,943 Why can't you just smoke pot like a normal kid? 766 00:31:41,310 --> 00:31:43,512 How can you have no idea who brought the alcohol? 767 00:31:43,646 --> 00:31:45,086 Believe me, we tried to break them. 768 00:31:45,181 --> 00:31:47,849 If you want to give it a go, be my guest. 769 00:31:47,984 --> 00:31:50,268 I'm so sorry. 770 00:31:50,436 --> 00:31:52,036 By the way, your daughter's a delinquent, 771 00:31:52,104 --> 00:31:53,522 and your mommy book's bullshit. 772 00:31:53,656 --> 00:31:55,774 I mean, we can call poison control again, 773 00:31:55,942 --> 00:31:57,192 but clearly all the girls are fine. 774 00:31:57,276 --> 00:32:00,195 And I've never heard of a tampon soaked in vodka before. 775 00:32:00,329 --> 00:32:02,330 I tried it once, it doesn't even work. 776 00:32:02,448 --> 00:32:03,928 - Really? - Let's go, you are grounded 777 00:32:03,950 --> 00:32:05,250 - for the next month. - Oh, my goodness. 778 00:32:05,334 --> 00:32:07,118 - Jake? - Yeah, oh, hey. 779 00:32:07,286 --> 00:32:08,753 - You remember Robert? - Hey, Robert. 780 00:32:08,871 --> 00:32:10,351 - Robert's a law-- - A lawyer, I know. 781 00:32:10,456 --> 00:32:12,674 Remember when I was at your house 782 00:32:12,792 --> 00:32:13,792 and I fell into the floating gardenia patch? 783 00:32:13,926 --> 00:32:15,176 That's right, which was 784 00:32:15,294 --> 00:32:16,211 clearly not locked down properly. 785 00:32:22,134 --> 00:32:23,435 Sucks for you. 786 00:32:23,519 --> 00:32:24,799 Hey, give me a hand with this. 787 00:32:24,804 --> 00:32:26,521 Sorry, we're late for our blow-outs. 788 00:32:26,639 --> 00:32:27,639 Bye. 789 00:32:27,807 --> 00:32:30,358 Thank god I don't have girls. 790 00:32:35,948 --> 00:32:37,782 - You okay? - My head. 791 00:32:37,900 --> 00:32:39,618 I just needed a break. 792 00:32:39,702 --> 00:32:41,620 Yeah. 793 00:32:47,209 --> 00:32:52,213 - So... morning after pill? - Mm. 794 00:32:52,331 --> 00:32:55,133 So you weren't on the pill anymore. 795 00:32:55,251 --> 00:32:56,668 Were you ever gonna tell me that? 796 00:32:56,752 --> 00:33:00,505 Yeah. Now. 797 00:33:00,673 --> 00:33:03,341 I don't know. 798 00:33:03,509 --> 00:33:07,729 The box isn't open. 799 00:33:07,847 --> 00:33:09,848 I know. 800 00:33:09,982 --> 00:33:14,519 I know, it's crazy. I mean, obviously we weren't 801 00:33:14,687 --> 00:33:18,189 - thinking-- - Yeah, yeah. 802 00:33:18,357 --> 00:33:24,195 But if you were or are... 803 00:33:24,330 --> 00:33:27,949 You may want to keep it? 804 00:33:29,368 --> 00:33:32,120 God. 805 00:33:32,204 --> 00:33:36,925 A baby. 806 00:33:37,043 --> 00:33:39,844 Am I crazy to think it was easier then? 807 00:33:39,962 --> 00:33:41,680 - When the kids were little? - Yeah. 808 00:33:41,797 --> 00:33:45,016 Yeah, you're totally insane. 809 00:33:50,773 --> 00:33:53,558 - I miss it. - You do? 810 00:33:53,643 --> 00:33:56,778 I do. 811 00:33:56,896 --> 00:33:58,813 - It was hard. - Yeah. 812 00:33:58,898 --> 00:34:03,485 But everything was so new and-- 813 00:34:05,788 --> 00:34:08,707 My god, you were a champ. 814 00:34:08,791 --> 00:34:09,908 You were too. 815 00:34:09,992 --> 00:34:14,629 - Damn. - Yeah. 816 00:34:14,747 --> 00:34:18,583 Oh, my god, I could feel my heart in my throat 817 00:34:18,718 --> 00:34:21,052 when Lilly was telling me about the vodka. 818 00:34:21,137 --> 00:34:22,387 It's like we're living with an alien. 819 00:34:22,505 --> 00:34:24,005 A nightmare. 820 00:34:24,140 --> 00:34:25,620 It's not going to always be like that. 821 00:34:25,675 --> 00:34:28,426 - You don't think so? - No, she will come back to us. 822 00:34:28,594 --> 00:34:31,262 - Eventually. - Mm. 823 00:34:35,184 --> 00:34:37,852 What if it were healthy? 824 00:34:46,112 --> 00:34:47,579 - Hey. - Hey. 825 00:34:47,697 --> 00:34:50,365 - You ready? - Yep. 826 00:34:50,449 --> 00:34:55,286 - Thanks for everything, Becca. - Of course. 827 00:34:55,421 --> 00:34:58,339 - Bye. - Bye. 828 00:35:11,270 --> 00:35:12,971 Hi. How are you? 829 00:35:13,105 --> 00:35:15,640 Phoebe. You looking for Ralf? 830 00:35:15,775 --> 00:35:18,643 No, I'm actually looking for Carla, does she work here? 831 00:35:18,778 --> 00:35:19,778 - Carla Montgomery? - Yeah. 832 00:35:19,812 --> 00:35:22,080 Yeah, totally. 833 00:35:22,181 --> 00:35:24,199 The cocktail waitress? Classic. 834 00:35:24,316 --> 00:35:26,701 More like the hottest interior designer. 835 00:35:26,819 --> 00:35:31,956 I heard she did the Obama house in Chicago and Hawaii. 836 00:35:32,074 --> 00:35:33,575 Hey, Carla? 837 00:35:33,659 --> 00:35:34,909 No, it's okay, don't worry about it. 838 00:35:35,044 --> 00:35:37,495 I will see you again later. 839 00:35:37,630 --> 00:35:39,498 Never mind. 840 00:35:48,557 --> 00:35:50,558 I thought you were on a business trip. 841 00:35:50,676 --> 00:35:51,843 I cancelled. 842 00:35:52,011 --> 00:35:54,145 Oh, yeah? People are gonna catch on. 843 00:35:54,263 --> 00:35:56,431 You need to relax. 844 00:35:56,565 --> 00:35:59,851 You are gonna get me fired. 845 00:35:59,935 --> 00:36:03,238 Mm, we'll be careful. 846 00:36:12,081 --> 00:36:16,167 I want you to watch. 847 00:36:22,925 --> 00:36:25,210 Shit! What the f--? 848 00:36:25,344 --> 00:36:27,929 - What happened? - Max just texted me 849 00:36:28,047 --> 00:36:29,547 a link to a Deadline article. 850 00:36:29,682 --> 00:36:31,766 "Joseph Gordon-Levitt to board Rian Johnson's 851 00:36:31,884 --> 00:36:33,351 Ukraine thriller." 852 00:36:33,435 --> 00:36:36,054 Oh, my god, oh, my god. I'm calling my agent. 853 00:36:36,222 --> 00:36:37,972 I don't understand. 854 00:36:38,107 --> 00:36:42,310 How can that be happening? 855 00:36:42,444 --> 00:36:43,895 Pick up the phone! 856 00:36:44,029 --> 00:36:47,232 - I went through your jacket. - What? 857 00:36:47,366 --> 00:36:48,950 I checked your phone. 858 00:36:49,068 --> 00:36:52,120 I never do that. 859 00:36:52,238 --> 00:36:53,238 Okay, I don't know what you're talking about right now. 860 00:36:53,405 --> 00:36:55,373 I saw your Uber receipt. 861 00:36:55,491 --> 00:36:57,909 After the ayahuasca you went to Abby's. 862 00:37:01,547 --> 00:37:03,248 Right. Yeah. 863 00:37:03,382 --> 00:37:06,634 I mean, I was... 864 00:37:06,752 --> 00:37:08,837 I was out of my mind, and yeah, I ended up there. 865 00:37:08,921 --> 00:37:11,589 Did something happen? 866 00:37:11,724 --> 00:37:12,757 Becca, let's not do this right now. 867 00:37:12,925 --> 00:37:14,259 I asked you a question. 868 00:37:14,343 --> 00:37:17,729 Uh... 869 00:37:17,847 --> 00:37:19,347 - It was a--it was a very-- - What? 870 00:37:19,481 --> 00:37:22,267 It was what? 871 00:37:22,401 --> 00:37:24,001 You can't even give me a straight answer? 872 00:37:30,442 --> 00:37:34,013 - I'm really sorry. - So you did. 873 00:37:35,531 --> 00:37:38,533 - You slept with her. - Yes, I did. 874 00:37:38,617 --> 00:37:39,584 Look, I didn't--I didn't mean-- 875 00:37:39,668 --> 00:37:41,502 - Jake, I can't. - No, no, no, no. 876 00:37:41,620 --> 00:37:44,789 I need to be with someone grounded, okay? 877 00:37:44,924 --> 00:37:46,284 Okay, okay, I was tripping balls. 878 00:37:46,342 --> 00:37:47,625 I am done. 879 00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:49,460 It was your idea, I went and did it with you and I-- 880 00:37:49,628 --> 00:37:52,513 Oh, so you screwed your ex-wife because I put a gun 881 00:37:52,631 --> 00:37:53,548 - to your head? - No, no, I didn't 882 00:37:53,682 --> 00:37:54,716 mean it like that. 883 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:55,800 - It's my fault? - No, I shouldn't 884 00:37:55,935 --> 00:37:57,468 have put it that way. I'm sorry. 885 00:37:57,603 --> 00:38:01,940 - I want something serious. - This is serious. 886 00:38:02,057 --> 00:38:04,609 We happened so fast. 887 00:38:04,693 --> 00:38:06,728 I fell for you so hard-- 888 00:38:06,812 --> 00:38:11,149 I want to get married. I want to have kids. 889 00:38:11,283 --> 00:38:12,603 You don't want that with me, Jake, 890 00:38:12,701 --> 00:38:14,068 you probably don't want that with anybody 891 00:38:14,203 --> 00:38:15,904 because you're still hung up on Abby. 892 00:38:16,038 --> 00:38:17,205 No, I'm not. 893 00:38:17,323 --> 00:38:20,158 We were together 17 years, okay? 894 00:38:20,292 --> 00:38:21,960 Just get your shit. 895 00:38:22,077 --> 00:38:25,347 - I want you to go. - No. 896 00:38:26,865 --> 00:38:28,634 Go. 897 00:38:51,063 --> 00:38:53,132 Mom, I'm such an idiot. 898 00:38:54,816 --> 00:38:56,536 So here's the thing... 899 00:38:58,403 --> 00:39:02,073 - I am not going to ground you. - You're not? 900 00:39:02,207 --> 00:39:04,208 No. 901 00:39:04,326 --> 00:39:09,213 I think ruining your own party and having a burning... body 902 00:39:09,331 --> 00:39:12,166 is enough punishment for one night. 903 00:39:12,301 --> 00:39:14,252 I just need to know one thing. 904 00:39:14,419 --> 00:39:16,671 I need to know if you've been drinking before this. 905 00:39:16,805 --> 00:39:18,172 No. 906 00:39:18,307 --> 00:39:21,092 I mean, Jade and I snuck a few beers at Ari's bar mitzvah. 907 00:39:21,226 --> 00:39:22,643 Jade. 908 00:39:22,761 --> 00:39:24,762 - I knew it. - It wasn't very fun though. 909 00:39:24,930 --> 00:39:27,598 - I kinda had a panic attack. - Then why today? 910 00:39:27,766 --> 00:39:29,350 - Did Jade-- - No. 911 00:39:29,434 --> 00:39:33,321 I just felt like I needed to show off, you know? 912 00:39:33,438 --> 00:39:35,940 Your party's certainly gonna be the talk of the school. 913 00:39:36,108 --> 00:39:37,108 Thank god. 914 00:39:37,776 --> 00:39:41,645 It was all so ridiculous. *** 915 00:39:43,916 --> 00:39:45,750 The cake was good though. 916 00:39:45,851 --> 00:39:48,304 You always make the best cakes. 917 00:39:49,838 --> 00:39:50,827 Would you lie with me? 918 00:39:52,841 --> 00:39:54,667 I would love to lie with you. 919 00:39:57,593 --> 00:39:59,025 *** 920 00:40:01,466 --> 00:40:03,134 I do remember Princess Jasmine. 921 00:40:03,235 --> 00:40:05,136 - Yeah? - Mm-hmm. 922 00:40:05,304 --> 00:40:08,856 It was raining, and I thought the party was ruined, 923 00:40:08,974 --> 00:40:11,309 and then she came swooping in out of thin air. 924 00:40:11,476 --> 00:40:12,810 Like you guys conjured her up 925 00:40:12,945 --> 00:40:14,812 or something. 926 00:40:14,947 --> 00:40:19,400 Princess Jasmine was 20 years old and way hungover. 927 00:40:19,534 --> 00:40:21,569 - Nuh-uh. - Yea-uh. 928 00:40:21,703 --> 00:40:24,739 She came to the house and your dad and I snuck her inside 929 00:40:24,823 --> 00:40:28,626 for the surprise, and she ran to the bathroom and started puking. 930 00:40:28,710 --> 00:40:31,545 - Gross. - It's so gross. 931 00:40:31,663 --> 00:40:34,966 She was such a mess. I was holding her hair, 932 00:40:35,083 --> 00:40:38,469 your dad was force-feeding coffee, and... 933 00:40:38,587 --> 00:40:40,671 And then I just hid in the bathroom with her 934 00:40:40,839 --> 00:40:42,027 till she sobered up. 935 00:40:42,841 --> 00:40:45,726 - Crazy. - Mm. 936 00:40:45,844 --> 00:40:47,547 I didn't even notice. 937 00:40:49,431 --> 00:40:54,018 Well, she was a pretty okay Princess in the end. 938 00:40:56,238 --> 00:41:00,358 Yeah, hi, it's Jake Novak calling you, Mark. 939 00:41:00,492 --> 00:41:04,028 Uh, yeah, I'm a friend of Becca Riley's and she told me 940 00:41:04,196 --> 00:41:07,832 to give him a call about maybe directing Blood Sisters, so. 941 00:41:07,949 --> 00:41:10,601 Yeah, Jake Novak. 942 00:41:10,702 --> 00:41:14,255 Sure, I'll hold, I'm gonna put you on Bluetooth, okay? 943 00:41:24,299 --> 00:41:25,683 Lyla. 944 00:41:25,801 --> 00:41:28,052 You pull this disappearing act again, 945 00:41:28,136 --> 00:41:30,688 I am going to punch you in the vagina. 946 00:41:30,806 --> 00:41:33,140 I'd be delighted, but you'd have to come to Portland. 947 00:41:34,225 --> 00:41:35,643 What? 948 00:41:35,727 --> 00:41:38,312 What are you doing in Portland, you crazy woman? 949 00:41:38,447 --> 00:41:39,947 We stopped here, you know, because of Eric 950 00:41:40,065 --> 00:41:43,067 - and oncoming water wars-- - Okay. 951 00:41:43,201 --> 00:41:44,902 - And? - It's so great. 952 00:41:45,037 --> 00:41:46,654 Portlandia doesn't even do it justice. 953 00:41:46,788 --> 00:41:49,240 I have rented the most beautiful house, 954 00:41:49,408 --> 00:41:50,825 and I've convinced Dan to come here, and... 955 00:41:50,959 --> 00:41:53,244 There's a restaurant that I think he's gonna love. 956 00:41:53,378 --> 00:41:55,996 Okay, so you just disappeared and bought a new life? 957 00:41:56,131 --> 00:41:57,915 You told me to find what makes me happy. 958 00:41:58,083 --> 00:42:00,334 As it turns out, it's my kids being happy 959 00:42:00,419 --> 00:42:03,054 and small batch artisanal pickles. 960 00:42:03,922 --> 00:42:05,506 Oh, shit. 961 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:08,426 That's amazing, Lyla. 962 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:10,240 When are you gonna get your ass down here? 963 00:42:24,980 --> 00:42:28,736 Sync and corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com