1 00:00:00,030 --> 00:00:01,860 Previously on girlfriends' guide to divorce... 2 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:04,930 Jake... he's gone. I'm free. 3 00:00:04,950 --> 00:00:07,490 So what about Nate, married Nate? 4 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:09,160 Having somebody like you in my life, 5 00:00:09,180 --> 00:00:11,950 it's just... It's amazing. 6 00:00:12,210 --> 00:00:13,490 - You look spectacular... - Thank you. 7 00:00:13,510 --> 00:00:14,970 As always. Will you please tell 8 00:00:14,990 --> 00:00:17,530 my husband pajama pants are not acceptable drop-off wear? 9 00:00:17,690 --> 00:00:18,860 Do you want me to wait in the car 10 00:00:18,890 --> 00:00:19,570 so you won't be embarrassed? 11 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:20,790 You never should have had kids. 12 00:00:20,810 --> 00:00:21,700 What? 13 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:23,420 I'm gonna sue for full custody. 14 00:00:28,420 --> 00:00:31,730 RULE # 426 - FANTASYLAND A GREAT PLACE TO VISIT 15 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,780 that play was amazing. 16 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,470 Charlie and Logan killed it, and the production design... 17 00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:37,780 Ah, breathtakingly gorgeous. 18 00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:39,810 Remember when we saw Spider-man: "Turn off the dark"? 19 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,550 - This was way better. - Yeah. 20 00:00:41,580 --> 00:00:44,640 6-foot-tall puppets and a live horse onstage. 21 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:47,190 I don't even know how you get a live horse on the stage. 22 00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:49,130 - That's a lot of little steps. - Mama, cookies! 23 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,860 Charlie, only two. You have to go backstage. 24 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,440 - You have another show. - Okay, so that horse? 25 00:00:54,470 --> 00:00:55,920 Cate Blanchett's. 26 00:00:55,940 --> 00:00:57,330 Mm-hmm. She's sucking up. 27 00:00:57,350 --> 00:01:00,120 - May move the kids to L.A. - She wants the kids... 28 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,920 She has to suck up to get the kids in here? 29 00:01:01,950 --> 00:01:03,110 How did we get in here? 30 00:01:03,170 --> 00:01:04,880 Well, we're biracial gay, and you were a big... 31 00:01:04,910 --> 00:01:06,940 - You are a big... you are... - No. That was past tense. 32 00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,250 - Do you think I didn't... - Girl, you know you a big deal. 33 00:01:09,310 --> 00:01:10,470 - Abby. - Huge deal. 34 00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:12,010 I'm gonna see you guys in a minute. 35 00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,940 - Hi. - Hi, that was fantastic, right? 36 00:01:14,180 --> 00:01:17,660 Who knew The Pioneers could be such amazing trapeze artists? 37 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,550 I think that's how they got across the country... 38 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,140 Catch and release, catch and release. 39 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:22,700 You're so smart. I want to be more like you. 40 00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:24,350 - I know, honey. I know. - I really do. I'm gonna go. 41 00:01:24,380 --> 00:01:26,590 Vika and Merete are waiting. Bye. 42 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:27,700 - Bye. - All right, bye. 43 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,890 God, of course Phoebe and that euro couple are friends. 44 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:32,560 "You have great bone structure. 45 00:01:32,590 --> 00:01:33,940 We have great bone structure." 46 00:01:35,380 --> 00:01:37,360 Hey, what are you wearing to the family equality gala? 47 00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:40,520 Um, oh, a black strappy number 48 00:01:40,550 --> 00:01:42,510 - and a healthy dose of irony. - Oh. 49 00:01:42,780 --> 00:01:45,540 Divorcees for family equality, yay. 50 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,350 - Is there gonna be vodka? - Oh, yeah. 51 00:01:47,370 --> 00:01:49,200 I told them we will accept the award with honors, 52 00:01:49,220 --> 00:01:50,880 but only if there's vodka for Abby. 53 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:52,530 This is why I love you. 54 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,430 And am I gonna be able to meet Adele Northrop in person? 55 00:01:54,460 --> 00:01:55,250 I'm a huge fan. 56 00:01:55,270 --> 00:01:56,830 If you take your brother to buy a suit 57 00:01:56,860 --> 00:01:58,150 that was designed in this century, 58 00:01:58,180 --> 00:01:59,660 I will absolutely introduce you. 59 00:01:59,690 --> 00:02:01,130 My suits are fine. 60 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,270 I've got two big jobs I have to finish the plans for, 61 00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:05,250 and I'm still working on the lineup for Saturday's game. 62 00:02:06,010 --> 00:02:07,610 World's most dedicated Little League Coach... 63 00:02:07,630 --> 00:02:09,350 It's ridiculous. 64 00:02:10,650 --> 00:02:12,070 Whoa. Abby, you still with us? 65 00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:13,220 Ooh, who got you all aflutter? 66 00:02:13,250 --> 00:02:14,460 - You're flirting. - She's aflutter. 67 00:02:14,490 --> 00:02:16,290 Who... who are you flirting with? 68 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:17,650 Nobody. I'm not... I'm not. 69 00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:18,800 I'm talking to Lyla, 70 00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:20,810 and I'm gonna go take Max shopping for a suit. 71 00:02:20,830 --> 00:02:22,860 I'm multitasking. I'm always multitasking. 72 00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:25,460 That was not Lyla. 73 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,260 - Mm-mm. - That was a man. 74 00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:33,822 DO YOU THINK THE ORANGE VEST WILL BRING OUT MY EYES? 75 00:02:33,922 --> 00:02:35,994 ONLY IF YOUR EYES ARE ORANGE 76 00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:54,020 Synced and corrected by martythecrazy 77 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,780 This divorce has turned into a full-blown custody battle, 78 00:02:57,810 --> 00:02:59,160 and Dan is using my work hours 79 00:02:59,190 --> 00:03:01,840 against me to show that I am an absentee parent, 80 00:03:01,860 --> 00:03:03,340 and several affidavits have been filed... 81 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,360 Including one by principal barrows 82 00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:09,390 that says I have a chronic anger-management problem. 83 00:03:09,670 --> 00:03:11,650 Based on what? I might add. 84 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,600 I get angry from time to time, justifiably, 85 00:03:14,620 --> 00:03:15,510 but I manage it. 86 00:03:15,620 --> 00:03:17,420 - I manage it. - Define "manage." 87 00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:20,470 What, are you having a relationship 88 00:03:20,490 --> 00:03:21,450 with your operating system? 89 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:23,470 - No, sorry. - You are glowing. 90 00:03:23,490 --> 00:03:24,330 Not gonna lie. 91 00:03:24,350 --> 00:03:26,260 So you're either flirting, 92 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:29,120 or Max has just texted you he's not gay anymore, 93 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,590 and he's in love with your friend Phoebe. 94 00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:33,580 Okay. 95 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,340 Nate and I have been texting, and he's... 96 00:03:37,370 --> 00:03:39,230 We have carpool tomorrow together, 97 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,590 so we're gonna see each other. 98 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,530 - That's great. - He's still married. 99 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,570 Yes, he is, and nothing's happened between us. 100 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,850 - But it's about to. - Stop it! 101 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:49,900 - Anouk! - Luco! 102 00:03:50,090 --> 00:03:52,430 - Don't look at me. - Every time. 103 00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:53,950 - I'm telling mom! - I'm so sorry. 104 00:03:53,970 --> 00:03:55,140 I will take care of them. 105 00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:56,760 You guys, go about yourself. 106 00:03:56,790 --> 00:03:59,790 You know, take... take what she says with a grain of salt. 107 00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:02,990 She has a very casual relationship with reality. 108 00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:04,040 Oh, my God. 109 00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:06,600 Change of subject just for a moment. 110 00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:08,110 Can you keep a secret? 111 00:04:08,510 --> 00:04:10,840 - 60/40? - Come on. 112 00:04:10,870 --> 00:04:11,980 Professionally, I can, 113 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,220 but off the clock, it's a crapshoot, lady. 114 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:15,810 Oh, please, come on. I'm dying. 115 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:16,830 - I have to tell you. - Okay, okay. 116 00:04:16,860 --> 00:04:20,090 You know that gorgeous couple at school, they're foreigners? 117 00:04:20,110 --> 00:04:21,260 He's a Brit, she's... I don't know. 118 00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:22,830 She's from somewhere that's not here. 119 00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:25,860 Anyway, I saw Phoebe today making out with Vika. 120 00:04:26,550 --> 00:04:27,770 So she's into girls again? 121 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:28,700 No, no, Vika's the husband. 122 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:29,690 - No. - Yes. 123 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,600 - No, Merete is the husband. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 124 00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,720 - I know Vika is the husband... - Which one's British? 125 00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:36,840 Okay, the point... The point being 126 00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:43,300 Phoebe was kissing the male, the married male. 127 00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:45,800 And you're texting the married male. 128 00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:47,140 Yeah, but that is not the same. 129 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,440 I mean, Nate and I haven't even... 130 00:04:48,470 --> 00:04:49,480 Had sex. 131 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:51,530 What you're doing is actually more intimate. 132 00:04:51,550 --> 00:04:53,390 It's emotional infidelity, 133 00:04:53,410 --> 00:04:56,500 and that is so brutal on the spouse. 134 00:04:56,550 --> 00:04:57,620 Trust me. 135 00:04:57,650 --> 00:05:01,480 Ask Jake or Nate's wife or me. 136 00:05:08,150 --> 00:05:11,320 Morning, Enzo. Come on out, my friend. 137 00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:12,910 I want you to have a great day. 138 00:05:12,940 --> 00:05:13,570 Hi. 139 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,700 I got to say, wouldn't this be, like, 140 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,720 the greatest meet-cute 141 00:05:17,740 --> 00:05:19,260 in the history of romantic comedies? 142 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:20,430 It's right out of one of your movies. 143 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,420 Right? Well, except it doesn't suck. 144 00:05:22,510 --> 00:05:23,890 - Come on. - No, you come on. 145 00:05:23,910 --> 00:05:25,140 - No, you come on. - No, you come on. 146 00:05:25,170 --> 00:05:26,060 You come on. 147 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,000 Wow. You know what? 148 00:05:28,020 --> 00:05:29,990 For a couple of writers, that's some terrible banter. 149 00:05:30,010 --> 00:05:31,050 Well, you're the clever one. 150 00:05:31,070 --> 00:05:32,440 Be clever. Be clever-er. 151 00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:35,940 I can't be clever-er 'cause I'm distracted by you. 152 00:05:35,970 --> 00:05:36,850 Nate. 153 00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,200 Hold on. 154 00:05:38,220 --> 00:05:40,370 - Hey, guys, come on out. - Hi, Eudora. 155 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,890 - Zayden and Zenon. - I love that backpack. 156 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,810 Go tear it up today, gents. 157 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:46,380 Okay, thank you. 158 00:05:46,890 --> 00:05:49,760 All right, back to the not-so-razor-sharp repartee. 159 00:05:49,790 --> 00:05:50,660 Where were we? 160 00:05:50,690 --> 00:05:51,900 There's something I need to say. 161 00:05:51,930 --> 00:05:52,750 What a coincidence, 162 00:05:52,770 --> 00:05:54,080 because I have something I need to say. 163 00:05:54,110 --> 00:05:55,840 I think I need to say my thing before you say yours. 164 00:05:55,870 --> 00:05:56,800 Okay. 165 00:05:56,830 --> 00:05:59,960 The thing is, you know how I feel about you. 166 00:05:59,990 --> 00:06:02,990 Ah, hold that thought. Sorry. 167 00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:06,710 Perfect. Hey, Sarsgaard. 168 00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:08,940 - You ready to have a fun day? Yeah. 169 00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:10,530 You better. That's an order. 170 00:06:10,550 --> 00:06:11,830 - See you later, buddy. - Bye. 171 00:06:11,860 --> 00:06:12,880 - You were saying? - Yes. 172 00:06:12,910 --> 00:06:14,610 But I get to say my thing right after. 173 00:06:14,630 --> 00:06:15,730 - Right. - Okay. 174 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,050 You're married, Nate. 175 00:06:20,170 --> 00:06:21,870 We can't go down this road again. 176 00:06:21,890 --> 00:06:23,250 I can't do it. 177 00:06:25,940 --> 00:06:28,080 - "Can't do it." - I can't do it. 178 00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:29,590 Got it. 179 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,410 - Is that it? - Yeah. 180 00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:36,970 Wow. This is such a great reveal. 181 00:06:38,110 --> 00:06:39,260 "Reveal"? 182 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:41,310 I left my wife. 183 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:57,090 I'm excited and kind of terrified. 184 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,620 If being with Nate is half as good as emailing him... 185 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,050 You sound like an eighth grader. 186 00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:02,460 You're not even divorced yet. 187 00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:04,090 You like? 188 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:06,010 I hate. 189 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,460 You know what? 190 00:07:08,490 --> 00:07:10,840 I don't have to talk about Nate if it's gonna make you all... 191 00:07:10,870 --> 00:07:12,390 Abby, Abby, it's fine. Go on a date. 192 00:07:12,410 --> 00:07:14,800 Just don't get married again before you get divorced, okay? 193 00:07:14,910 --> 00:07:16,260 Point taken. 194 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,350 And suit. Terrible. 195 00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:23,670 God. You're so cranky today. 196 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,800 You know, I just... I don't want to be doing this. 197 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,270 I don't have time to be doing this, and I already have a suit. 198 00:07:28,290 --> 00:07:30,930 Well, I should be home writing, but I am here with you. 199 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,160 So, if you could just focus, we can get through this faster. 200 00:07:33,190 --> 00:07:34,110 Yeah... 201 00:07:34,140 --> 00:07:37,420 I'm shopping my way to inner peace and calm. 202 00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:40,020 - How is that going? - Eat me. 203 00:07:40,150 --> 00:07:41,860 So, well. It's going well. 204 00:07:41,990 --> 00:07:43,500 - Rocking the boots. - Oh, crap. 205 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:45,610 - Jesus, God, no. - You know what, Max? 206 00:07:45,610 --> 00:07:46,980 I am not wearing this to the gala. 207 00:07:47,010 --> 00:07:48,660 I just... It's for sexy time. 208 00:07:48,690 --> 00:07:50,940 Diego, he just messed up his thumb doing karate. 209 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:52,130 Karate. 210 00:07:52,150 --> 00:07:53,650 I mean, it's, like, two days before a game. 211 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,890 - So stupid. - Who's Diego? 212 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,930 He's my shortstop and my cleanup hitter. 213 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,790 I got to get a good thumb protocol in place, 214 00:08:00,820 --> 00:08:02,010 stem any swelling. 215 00:08:02,420 --> 00:08:03,820 Charles! I'm out, I'm out. 216 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,730 Hey, I need you to move all my afternoon drive-bys 217 00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,460 and reschedule the struger meeting. 218 00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:09,830 Yes, you can say it's an emergency! 219 00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,810 It's a little league emergency. 220 00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:15,060 Should that be an oxymoron? 221 00:08:16,460 --> 00:08:18,300 You look like a lion tamer's assistant, 222 00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:19,910 - only the lion ate your pants. - Okay. 223 00:08:19,940 --> 00:08:23,440 Or Vika likes very high boots and very short shorts 224 00:08:23,460 --> 00:08:25,240 and ventilated vintage tops, 225 00:08:25,270 --> 00:08:27,050 and he's turned on by alliteration. 226 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,280 - Lyla. - What? 227 00:08:28,730 --> 00:08:29,780 What's going on? 228 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:33,720 Okay, Abby saw you kissing the euro hubby 229 00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:35,310 at school the other day. 230 00:08:35,490 --> 00:08:37,680 Wow. Thank you so much, Lyla. Unreal. 231 00:08:37,710 --> 00:08:40,720 I told you, 60/40 I could keep a secret off the clock. 232 00:08:40,740 --> 00:08:43,280 It's not what you think. 233 00:08:43,310 --> 00:08:45,630 I'm actually trying to help save Vika's marriage. 234 00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:48,730 Well, what are the therapeutic qualities of your vagina 235 00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:50,270 for the married couple? 236 00:08:50,670 --> 00:08:51,920 I can't imagine why people think 237 00:08:51,950 --> 00:08:53,340 you have anger issues, Lyla. 238 00:08:55,510 --> 00:08:57,180 Okay, um, you know what? 239 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,240 Phoebe, why don't you buy your boots? 240 00:08:58,260 --> 00:08:58,960 Yeah. 241 00:08:58,990 --> 00:09:02,080 And, Lyla, why don't you just try something else on? 242 00:09:02,110 --> 00:09:04,290 I don't have anger issues. 243 00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:06,230 How many times have you said that this week? 244 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,410 I'm just saying I think you should do something about it. 245 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:10,830 For example? 246 00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,580 Find something that relaxes you... 247 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,170 You know, something that helps you 248 00:09:14,190 --> 00:09:16,390 get rid of any pent-up aggression. 249 00:09:17,610 --> 00:09:18,700 Don't murder Dan. 250 00:09:19,230 --> 00:09:20,380 I hadn't thought of that, 251 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:23,420 but I will take it into consideration. 252 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,730 But I mean, practically speaking, 253 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,670 with the... with the line of work that you're in... 254 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,580 Oh, my God! 255 00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,230 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. 256 00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:31,090 - Damon Cash. - Is that medical marijuana? 257 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,820 You guys, I got to go write. I love you. 258 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,350 - Bye. - Bye. 259 00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:36,980 No, he's my physical therapist, body-worker guy. 260 00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:37,940 He's amazing. 261 00:09:37,970 --> 00:09:40,310 I'm going to text you his number right now. 262 00:09:40,340 --> 00:09:42,600 So you think what I need is a back rub? 263 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,180 Lyla... 264 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,030 Please, for the love of God, will you just do this? 265 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:47,650 - Mm-hmm. - It's so easy. 266 00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:49,140 He's just gonna come to your house. 267 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:49,730 Yes. 268 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,180 Just tell him that you're my friend. 269 00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:52,580 - That's all you have to do. - Mmhmm, mm-hmm. 270 00:09:52,610 --> 00:09:53,700 - Yeah? - Yeah. 271 00:09:54,090 --> 00:09:56,900 Okay, also, I'm gonna get chakra realignment... 272 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,710 Don't... you needn't finish that sentence. 273 00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:00,040 - No. - Thought I would try that. 274 00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:02,780 - You needn't. - Okay, just call Damon Cash. 275 00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:04,780 - He'll take care of you. - Mmhmm. Mm-hmm. 276 00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:05,950 Love your face. 277 00:10:16,545 --> 00:10:18,885 I'M 30 MINS EARLY TO OUR FIRST DATE. HOW LAME AM I? 278 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,670 So Sidney Poitier finally opens the envelope, 279 00:10:50,740 --> 00:10:54,100 and I hear, "and the Oscar goes to... " 280 00:10:55,190 --> 00:10:58,220 Bzz! Total white noise. 281 00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,930 I can't hear anything. YouTube it. 282 00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,190 I'm looking around like an idiot. 283 00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:02,810 Oh, my God. 284 00:11:04,370 --> 00:11:06,470 - Why are we even talking... - No, because I've... 285 00:11:06,490 --> 00:11:08,080 I've been begging you to tell me this story. 286 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,300 No, I sound like such a douche. 287 00:11:09,330 --> 00:11:11,400 - Oh, come on, tell the story. - Okay, okay. 288 00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:12,650 So I'm basically deaf. 289 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,830 And somebody smacks me in the back of the head 290 00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:19,240 kind of hard... Thwack and schwink. 291 00:11:19,460 --> 00:11:20,840 It all comes rushing back. 292 00:11:20,870 --> 00:11:22,420 Everybody's applause... And crazy. 293 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:23,770 And I turn around, 294 00:11:24,010 --> 00:11:25,720 and it's Paul Newman. 295 00:11:25,940 --> 00:11:28,160 Paul Newman just smacked me... Smacked you in the head. 296 00:11:28,190 --> 00:11:29,440 Back into my senses. 297 00:11:29,510 --> 00:11:32,140 And he leans into my ear, and he says, "hey, schmuck. 298 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,120 "You just won. Get your ass up onstage. 299 00:11:34,140 --> 00:11:36,060 I got to piss like a racehorse." True story. 300 00:11:36,090 --> 00:11:37,390 Wow. 301 00:11:37,410 --> 00:11:40,030 The Paul Newman part alone would have literally melted my brain, 302 00:11:40,050 --> 00:11:42,850 let alone the "I just won an Oscar for best screenplay." 303 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,170 That's incredible. 304 00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:45,650 Wow. 305 00:11:46,090 --> 00:11:49,960 Um, that is not even 306 00:11:49,980 --> 00:11:52,490 the super-secret awesome part of the story. 307 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,620 Yeah, what's that? 308 00:11:57,030 --> 00:11:58,230 No. 309 00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:00,740 - Oh, come on. - It's not first-date material. 310 00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:03,490 All right, well, I am not gonna tell you 311 00:12:03,510 --> 00:12:06,100 my "I was almost Oprah's best friend" story, 312 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,770 because that's not first-date material either. 313 00:12:07,790 --> 00:12:09,310 - Wait. Really? - Yes. 314 00:12:09,340 --> 00:12:11,490 Lunch, dinner, lunch again, like, three-day bffs. 315 00:12:11,510 --> 00:12:13,590 You were Gayle king for three days? 316 00:12:13,610 --> 00:12:15,110 I'm telling you that if Gayle King 317 00:12:15,140 --> 00:12:16,750 had been hit by a car that weekend, 318 00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:18,860 I would probably be in Aspen with Oprah right now. 319 00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:21,980 That makes me very happy for the health of Gayle King. 320 00:12:22,030 --> 00:12:23,060 - Here we are. - Oh. 321 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,280 - Perfect. - Thank you. 322 00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:26,810 Enjoy. 323 00:12:45,870 --> 00:12:48,290 I have to say that I was actually really nervous 324 00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:50,640 that we wouldn't have anything to talk about in person, 325 00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,680 you know, because we shared so much digitally. 326 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:54,460 Are you kidding me? We covered everything. 327 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,760 - We did. - Relationship troubles. 328 00:12:56,790 --> 00:12:58,750 - Our jobs, our kids. - Yeah. 329 00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:00,150 Our peccadilloes. 330 00:13:00,230 --> 00:13:02,140 - Oh, I love that word. - Yeah, me too. 331 00:13:02,170 --> 00:13:04,550 But not as much as I love your actual peccadilloes. 332 00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:07,110 Ooh, stop saying that word. 333 00:13:07,260 --> 00:13:08,830 Peccadilloes. 334 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,840 Yeah, it's not really a sexy word. 335 00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:14,520 No, it sounds kind of like a bird with a dildo beak. 336 00:13:14,650 --> 00:13:16,580 But we digress all over the place. 337 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:20,360 You know, I knew I would have no trouble talking with you. 338 00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:23,050 Do you have a problem talking with anybody ever? 339 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:24,810 - Not really. - No, I didn't think so. 340 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,870 - Yeah. - You're a master of the word, 341 00:13:26,990 --> 00:13:29,810 which is why you should tell me your super-secret Oscar story. 342 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:31,410 Ooh, that was sneaky. 343 00:13:31,430 --> 00:13:33,070 I know, I just brought it right back around. 344 00:13:33,090 --> 00:13:35,840 Yeah, you know, my sense of narrative 345 00:13:35,870 --> 00:13:39,780 tells me that the Oscar story is a post-first-kiss story. 346 00:13:42,790 --> 00:13:44,950 Oh. First kiss first? 347 00:13:48,210 --> 00:13:50,340 Wait, wait, wait. Wait. 348 00:13:50,370 --> 00:13:53,470 First kiss in the jazz section of a vinyl store 349 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,000 with a box of Kung Pao? 350 00:13:55,020 --> 00:13:57,360 That's a little too Annie Hall. 351 00:13:57,380 --> 00:13:59,050 I mean, classic but dated. 352 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:02,360 But first kiss at a awesome, 353 00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:06,270 slightly tacky bachelor rental would work. 354 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,220 Are you ready? 355 00:14:12,450 --> 00:14:14,420 Yeah, I am. Are you? 356 00:14:14,450 --> 00:14:16,280 - I am so ready. - Okay. 357 00:14:16,310 --> 00:14:17,260 Yeah. 358 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:22,900 Um... 359 00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,570 Weird. That wasn't good. 360 00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:30,930 Yeah. 361 00:14:31,310 --> 00:14:32,360 Maybe we should just try it again. 362 00:14:32,390 --> 00:14:33,310 - Yeah. - Okay. 363 00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:34,500 Yeah, you go right. 364 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:35,290 - I'll go left. - Oh. 365 00:14:35,310 --> 00:14:37,260 And maybe open your mouth a little bit? 366 00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:40,180 Okay. Wow. You really are a writer/director. 367 00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:41,110 I am. I am. 368 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,230 I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay, let's just go. 369 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,140 - Yeah, let's just go. - Let's just go. 370 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:45,790 - All right, all right. - Okay. 371 00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:54,160 Wow. I mean, either I'm way out of practice, 372 00:14:54,190 --> 00:14:55,650 or you have a weird mouth. 373 00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:57,590 I-I do? 374 00:14:57,620 --> 00:14:59,090 No, no, it's not you. It's not you. 375 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:00,330 It's, uh... 376 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,340 - Duh. - What? 377 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,860 No, just, you know, first kiss on the doorstep? 378 00:15:05,890 --> 00:15:06,980 That's a little weak. 379 00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:09,510 First kiss in the rain... That would be great. 380 00:15:09,540 --> 00:15:10,540 That's what it has to be. 381 00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:17,160 Okay. 382 00:15:17,580 --> 00:15:19,790 Is that better? Not yet. 383 00:15:19,810 --> 00:15:20,880 Not yet. 384 00:15:23,980 --> 00:15:26,150 Oh. That's... 385 00:15:26,170 --> 00:15:28,850 - That's the Bronsons' car. - Who are the Bronsons? 386 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:32,010 Um, my son was supposed to be spending the night there. 387 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,240 Ooh. Oh, boy. 388 00:15:33,270 --> 00:15:34,970 Stomachache... They're dropping him off. 389 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,080 Um, look, I'm just not ready for him to meet you yet. 390 00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:38,740 I'm not ready to meet your kid. 391 00:15:38,770 --> 00:15:39,700 I really like you, but... 392 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,220 This has been tremendous, and you got to go. 393 00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:44,090 Tremendous. I'll talk to you later. 394 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,190 Run! 395 00:15:53,340 --> 00:15:55,410 And he made you run home? Classy. 396 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,820 No, I only ran to my car, okay? 397 00:15:57,850 --> 00:15:59,990 And it was somehow very romantic. 398 00:16:00,340 --> 00:16:03,510 I mean, the kissing was weird and sort of wrong, 399 00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:05,650 but in a good way, in, like, a... 400 00:16:05,670 --> 00:16:07,720 In, like, a first-act romantic-comedy kind of way. 401 00:16:07,740 --> 00:16:08,770 You don't want to hear this. 402 00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:10,530 You mean because Nate's the guy 403 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:11,490 that ruined your marriage? 404 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:12,550 You don't really think that he's the reason... 405 00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:14,680 The whole thing is just a little fast. 406 00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:16,520 - That's all. - Okay, well, I can't help it. 407 00:16:16,550 --> 00:16:18,490 - We just click, you know. - I get it. 408 00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:21,490 I-I get it, okay? You do seem kind of electrified. 409 00:16:21,510 --> 00:16:22,360 Right? 410 00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:24,190 It's like what Jake and I didn't have, 411 00:16:24,220 --> 00:16:25,860 at least not in the end. 412 00:16:25,940 --> 00:16:28,060 Fun, spontaneity, mutual self-sufficiency... 413 00:16:28,090 --> 00:16:29,030 Hey, you. 414 00:16:29,270 --> 00:16:30,800 Oh, hi, Mariska. 415 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:32,540 Okay. 416 00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:36,600 Uh-huh. You know what? 417 00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:39,430 Could you just put him on? Okay. 418 00:16:39,530 --> 00:16:41,570 Yeah, you know, I'm just... I'm gonna talk to him at home. 419 00:16:41,590 --> 00:16:44,080 - Thanks. - Who was that? 420 00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:45,780 That was one of Ford's assistants telling me 421 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,350 that there's a suit sale at Nordstrom 422 00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:49,210 and to remind me that it's trash day, 423 00:16:49,230 --> 00:16:50,290 and the bins should be out. 424 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:51,340 Oh. 425 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,990 Uh, maybe we could borrow your divorce lawyer. 426 00:16:54,020 --> 00:16:55,950 - Max. - I'm... I'm kidding. 427 00:16:55,970 --> 00:16:57,810 - Are you guys okay? - Yeah. 428 00:16:57,830 --> 00:17:00,610 Yeah, he just gets all "Power Ford" on me, and... 429 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,100 It's fine. 430 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,240 - I have bigger problems. - Really? 431 00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:06,520 What... what... What is happening? 432 00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,910 Cormac has no arm from center, 433 00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:13,210 and if Diego's thumb doesn't heal, we're screwed. 434 00:17:13,390 --> 00:17:14,330 Aw. 435 00:17:14,350 --> 00:17:16,700 Okay, well, I'm gonna pray to the thumb gods 436 00:17:16,730 --> 00:17:17,730 on Diego's behalf. 437 00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:19,680 And I will pray to the love gods 438 00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:22,700 that you have an amazing night with Nate. 439 00:17:22,850 --> 00:17:23,970 Thanks, coach. 440 00:17:25,790 --> 00:17:28,280 Your shoulders and lower back are tense. 441 00:17:28,610 --> 00:17:30,820 And whenever you're ready, you can turn over. 442 00:17:41,910 --> 00:17:44,330 Huh, do you work on a computer at work? 443 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,780 Your hands are pretty cramped. Yeah. 444 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,790 I tend to point a lot and make fists. 445 00:17:57,620 --> 00:17:59,170 - Oh, wow. - Ow. Bad. 446 00:17:59,190 --> 00:18:00,910 That's some pretty deep stuff there. 447 00:18:01,270 --> 00:18:02,900 - See this? - Yeah. 448 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,040 That's trauma. 449 00:18:04,090 --> 00:18:05,260 We'll get at that. 450 00:18:05,550 --> 00:18:07,230 Just try and relax. 451 00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:08,490 Let go. 452 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,530 All your worries from the day ease away. 453 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:14,870 - Mm. - Let your mind float away. 454 00:18:15,820 --> 00:18:17,040 So how do you know Phoebe? 455 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,280 Our kids go to the same school 456 00:18:19,310 --> 00:18:21,190 and divorce stuff. 457 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:24,380 - Oh! - Oh, my God! 458 00:18:24,410 --> 00:18:26,350 - My nose. - My vagina? 459 00:18:26,630 --> 00:18:28,540 You said you were Phoebe's friend. 460 00:18:28,570 --> 00:18:29,990 Yes, I am. That doesn't... 461 00:18:30,010 --> 00:18:31,820 - That's not an invitation. - Yeah, 'cause it's code. 462 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:33,310 That's what she told her friends to say 463 00:18:33,330 --> 00:18:35,410 if they wanted what I give Phoebe. 464 00:18:35,430 --> 00:18:37,680 - It's a service, you psycho. - How would I know? 465 00:18:37,820 --> 00:18:39,150 How would I know? How is this my fault? 466 00:18:39,180 --> 00:18:40,630 I think I'm gonna need to go to a hospital. 467 00:18:40,650 --> 00:18:42,220 I'm gonna drive you. I'm so sorry. 468 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,440 - No, no, no. - No, no. 469 00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:44,580 I won't hurt you. It's okay. 470 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:45,870 Just not on the carpet. 471 00:18:45,890 --> 00:18:47,060 Juanita! 472 00:18:49,140 --> 00:18:51,420 Yeah, but our kids are aggressively cute. 473 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:52,530 I mean, it can't be ignored. 474 00:18:52,550 --> 00:18:54,140 It's like an adorable punch in the face. 475 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,410 Well, adorable Logan... 476 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,180 He just wiped his boogers all over your phone. 477 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,920 Well, it's a step up from eating them. 478 00:18:58,950 --> 00:19:01,600 Here you go. One for you, for you. 479 00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:03,120 Go by Nordstrom? 480 00:19:03,580 --> 00:19:05,750 - I already have a suit. - Uh-uh. 481 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,210 I can't have my man looking all raggedy a-s-s. 482 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,580 - Dad, I can spell. - My bad. Sorry. 483 00:19:10,610 --> 00:19:12,300 Okay, look, I'm gonna call Mariska, 484 00:19:12,330 --> 00:19:13,830 have her pick up a few and drop them by the house. 485 00:19:13,850 --> 00:19:15,790 You can pick one, okay? 486 00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:17,870 Done. 487 00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,540 - Yeah, okay, well... - Warn me! 488 00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:26,290 I had no idea that... Stop yelling at me. 489 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,170 Damon Cash is... Hey, hey, stop. 490 00:19:28,190 --> 00:19:29,920 I said I was sorry. 491 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,810 If you call me a pimp one more time, I swear... 492 00:19:34,070 --> 00:19:35,450 Lyla, stop yelling at me. 493 00:19:35,470 --> 00:19:36,400 You know what? 494 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,260 I'm gonna hang up on you now. 495 00:19:38,620 --> 00:19:41,210 I was trying to help you, and I am sorry, 496 00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:43,330 but you're being really mean. 497 00:19:45,630 --> 00:19:47,950 Nightmare. My God. 498 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:07,200 Bye, guys. 499 00:20:07,230 --> 00:20:08,610 - Bye, dad. - Good night, daddy. 500 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:09,450 I love you. 501 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,260 - Hello. - Hi, mom. 502 00:20:11,300 --> 00:20:12,520 How are you? 503 00:20:13,250 --> 00:20:14,660 Hi. This is from dad. 504 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:15,810 - Bye, mom. - How are... 505 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:16,850 Bye. 506 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:18,000 What is it? 507 00:20:18,030 --> 00:20:21,030 Leftovers dad cooked... Special for you. 508 00:20:21,050 --> 00:20:22,190 What did he make? 509 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:25,230 - Um, cheese dumpling things. - The ricotta gnocchi? 510 00:20:25,260 --> 00:20:26,960 And the mushroom stuff, your favorite. 511 00:20:26,980 --> 00:20:28,150 The chanterelles 512 00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:30,930 with the sage brown butter and the gooey brown sauce? 513 00:20:31,210 --> 00:20:33,980 - Yeah. - Mmm! Get over here. 514 00:20:34,190 --> 00:20:36,550 It's time for me to kiss your face. 515 00:20:37,710 --> 00:20:40,070 I missed you. 516 00:20:41,060 --> 00:20:43,590 Okay, see you. I'll be up in a few. 517 00:20:46,420 --> 00:20:47,980 Mmm. 518 00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:58,480 PLEASE PAY ASAP! THANKS XOXO DAN 519 00:21:01,490 --> 00:21:04,950 MEDIATION SESSIONS TOTAL AMOUNT DUE $2,752.78 520 00:21:35,590 --> 00:21:37,000 - That was a good start. - Yeah? 521 00:21:37,090 --> 00:21:39,170 Yeah. It was confident but not scary. 522 00:21:39,260 --> 00:21:41,390 - Yeah. - No, confident like Catwoman. 523 00:21:41,420 --> 00:21:43,220 - Oh, Catwoman. - Yeah. 524 00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:45,540 Like Anne Hathaway, Michelle Pfeiffer. 525 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,070 - No, no, no. - Eartha Kitt. 526 00:21:47,090 --> 00:21:50,300 - Yes, definitely. - I love Eartha Kitt. 527 00:21:53,830 --> 00:21:55,410 - Oh. - Ooh. 528 00:21:55,510 --> 00:21:57,010 - Too aggressive? - No, no, that's good. 529 00:21:57,030 --> 00:21:59,200 - Should I be more aggressive? - I don't know, just keep going. 530 00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:00,290 'Cause I can be more aggressive. 531 00:22:00,310 --> 00:22:01,280 Okay. 532 00:22:02,650 --> 00:22:04,730 - Keep going, just keep going. - Yeah, keep going. 533 00:22:07,830 --> 00:22:09,500 - Take these off. - Okay. 534 00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:10,530 Yeah. 535 00:22:12,940 --> 00:22:15,370 You all right? 536 00:22:21,110 --> 00:22:22,110 - Come on. - Yeah. 537 00:22:22,130 --> 00:22:24,370 Here we go. Okay. 538 00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:34,690 Oh, my God. 539 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:35,680 Yeah? 540 00:22:36,650 --> 00:22:39,940 - We are having sex. - Yeah. 541 00:22:41,380 --> 00:22:44,330 You know, our first kiss... 542 00:22:45,290 --> 00:22:46,650 It was weird 'cause it was weird. 543 00:22:46,670 --> 00:22:48,430 It wasn't weird 'cause it was bad, right? 544 00:22:48,460 --> 00:22:49,540 - It wasn't... - Stop. Stop. 545 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:50,380 What? What? 546 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,070 Am I hurting you? Am I huge? 547 00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:53,970 - No. No, stop talking. - Okay. 548 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,300 Keep going. Stop talking. 549 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:56,890 We can talk later. 550 00:22:59,220 --> 00:23:01,180 Does that mean I'm not huge? 551 00:23:01,210 --> 00:23:02,480 I mean, I don't want to hurt you. I'm just... 552 00:23:02,510 --> 00:23:03,970 - We'll talk later. - Okay. 553 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:04,970 I promise. 554 00:23:33,620 --> 00:23:36,740 I came. Yeah. 555 00:23:37,740 --> 00:23:39,680 - You came too, right? - Sure. 556 00:23:41,540 --> 00:23:43,070 That was weird. 557 00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:45,190 Weird how? 558 00:23:45,390 --> 00:23:48,300 Like, from a great distance. 559 00:23:49,180 --> 00:23:50,900 I get that. 560 00:23:53,010 --> 00:23:55,310 Is your tongue usually that cold? 561 00:23:57,140 --> 00:23:58,590 My tongue's not cold. 562 00:23:59,370 --> 00:24:00,830 No, it is a little. 563 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,970 And your nipples are warm. That's kind of a weird combo. 564 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,870 Nobody has cold nipples. Who has cold nipples? 565 00:24:06,890 --> 00:24:08,670 My wife's nipples were cold all the time. 566 00:24:08,690 --> 00:24:10,560 I don't know why your wife's nipples are cold. 567 00:24:10,580 --> 00:24:12,130 Can we please just not talk about my wife? 568 00:24:12,150 --> 00:24:13,320 - I didn't bring her up. - You know what? 569 00:24:13,350 --> 00:24:15,000 - Just don't, don't, don't. - Okay. 570 00:24:15,230 --> 00:24:18,110 Oh, this wasn't good. 571 00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:22,250 I mean, is it awkward because it's our first time, 572 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,590 or are we just physically incompatible? 573 00:24:24,620 --> 00:24:27,040 I don't... I-I mean, do you always narrate like that? 574 00:24:27,060 --> 00:24:29,480 Like, do you have to comment on all the proceedings? 575 00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:31,090 I'm so sorry. It's just a habit. 576 00:24:31,190 --> 00:24:32,640 You know, my wife used to say... 577 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,400 - Don't talk about your wife. - Oh, right. 578 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,400 You know, maybe it's just, like, a Rom-com obstacle, you know. 579 00:24:41,430 --> 00:24:43,770 These two people, they're just perfect for each other, 580 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,300 but they... They can't have sex. 581 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:46,720 We can have sex. 582 00:24:47,100 --> 00:24:49,320 It just didn't go well the first time. 583 00:24:51,180 --> 00:24:52,600 Yeah. 584 00:24:53,710 --> 00:24:55,110 We can try again. 585 00:24:55,510 --> 00:24:56,640 We could. 586 00:24:59,430 --> 00:25:01,050 I'm just tired. 587 00:25:12,780 --> 00:25:14,090 Me too. 588 00:25:24,300 --> 00:25:25,600 Good morning, sunshine. 589 00:25:30,460 --> 00:25:32,230 The light's so beautiful in here. 590 00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:41,780 You know, I was thinking it was actually very romantic 591 00:25:41,810 --> 00:25:44,470 that the sex wasn't, you know... 592 00:25:45,970 --> 00:25:47,520 I mean, we spent so much time 593 00:25:47,550 --> 00:25:49,510 developing this incredibly deep connection 594 00:25:49,530 --> 00:25:53,450 without ever really sharing the same physical space, 595 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:55,740 and our pheromones just haven't synced up yet. 596 00:25:55,770 --> 00:25:56,660 Shh. 597 00:25:57,750 --> 00:25:59,440 Stop talking. 598 00:26:00,570 --> 00:26:02,720 Oh, okay. 599 00:26:03,050 --> 00:26:04,610 Mornings aren't for talking. 600 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:07,040 They're for contemplating suicide. 601 00:26:07,890 --> 00:26:08,970 Wow. 602 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:13,420 Jesus. 603 00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:15,700 Oh, my God. 604 00:26:25,190 --> 00:26:26,680 Abby McCarthy. 605 00:26:27,580 --> 00:26:29,640 Oh, you cannot avoid me. 606 00:26:29,670 --> 00:26:31,910 Oh, I'm not avoiding, just coffee-ING. 607 00:26:31,930 --> 00:26:33,020 We signed contracts. 608 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:34,590 You sent me a check. We got to get going. 609 00:26:34,610 --> 00:26:36,990 I know. I've just been so busy, on the run, on the go. 610 00:26:37,010 --> 00:26:38,730 Come on, let me grab you a sec, come here. 611 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,950 Okay, so I got to meet Phoebe for a bite, 612 00:26:40,980 --> 00:26:42,900 so I can't do any divorce talk right now, 613 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,160 but you really need to call me because we need... 614 00:26:45,180 --> 00:26:46,750 Well, hello, wait a minute. 615 00:26:47,100 --> 00:26:48,240 Let me see here. 616 00:26:48,490 --> 00:26:52,020 Your look this morning is just so very... 617 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:53,820 Last night. 618 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:54,870 Oh, my God. 619 00:26:55,150 --> 00:26:56,160 Is it that obvious? 620 00:26:56,180 --> 00:26:57,910 Look at you. You got laid. 621 00:26:57,940 --> 00:26:59,530 Did you think about Jake during? 622 00:26:59,550 --> 00:27:01,420 Did you feel guilty after? Did you enjoy it? 623 00:27:01,450 --> 00:27:06,230 Uh, okay. Um, no, no, no. 624 00:27:06,310 --> 00:27:09,410 Hmm, so was it rebound sex or not so much? 625 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:10,770 You know when Harry met Sally? 626 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:12,700 Absolutely not. I hate those movies. 627 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:14,600 Well, I'm... I'm really not sure. 628 00:27:14,620 --> 00:27:16,420 Honestly, I'm trying to figure that out myself. 629 00:27:16,450 --> 00:27:17,420 - That's okay. - Finally. 630 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,760 - Is this the divorce powwow? - Hi. 631 00:27:19,790 --> 00:27:21,220 Guess who got some last night. 632 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:22,580 - Nate sex? - No. 633 00:27:22,610 --> 00:27:24,020 - It was Nate. - I'm not talking about it. 634 00:27:24,190 --> 00:27:25,190 - Nate sex. - Okay. 635 00:27:25,210 --> 00:27:26,680 - Dirty dog. - I'm gonna see you later. 636 00:27:26,710 --> 00:27:28,060 - I'm gonna see you at the gala. - Yes. 637 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,630 I'll see you tonight. Are you going? 638 00:27:29,660 --> 00:27:32,280 Oh, absolutely. I never miss the F.E.C. Gala. 639 00:27:32,310 --> 00:27:35,860 And listen, you are not paying me to sit by the phone. 640 00:27:35,890 --> 00:27:37,600 - Right? - Got it. 641 00:27:37,630 --> 00:27:38,580 - Okay. - On it. 642 00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:39,600 - Okay. - Bye. 643 00:27:52,610 --> 00:27:55,220 I have been arm candy for half an hour. 644 00:27:55,250 --> 00:27:56,440 I need a break. 645 00:27:57,090 --> 00:27:58,820 Let's go to the table and mock people. 646 00:27:58,850 --> 00:27:59,830 I love that idea. 647 00:28:00,120 --> 00:28:03,140 So your night... Was it mind-blowing? 648 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:04,530 Well, it happened. 649 00:28:04,550 --> 00:28:06,440 I mean, it was a new experience. 650 00:28:06,460 --> 00:28:07,890 - It was unexpected. - Really? 651 00:28:07,910 --> 00:28:08,910 How so? 652 00:28:09,090 --> 00:28:13,530 He likes to talk a little more than I like to talk. 653 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,560 You just got to figure each other out. 654 00:28:15,580 --> 00:28:16,920 First times can be weird. 655 00:28:16,940 --> 00:28:19,810 Oh, are we talking about the rebound sex? 656 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,200 I want the dish. 657 00:28:22,230 --> 00:28:23,750 Delia, you look stunning. 658 00:28:23,770 --> 00:28:25,510 Hello, Sir. Delia Banai. 659 00:28:25,540 --> 00:28:26,970 I'm representing Abby in her divorce. 660 00:28:26,990 --> 00:28:29,240 - It's my brother. - Max McCarthy. Hi. 661 00:28:29,260 --> 00:28:31,530 Oh, Max, as in "Max and Ford." 662 00:28:31,970 --> 00:28:34,510 Congratulations on your night. Thank you. 663 00:28:34,530 --> 00:28:36,930 Yeah, you know, I have been a supporter of the cause 664 00:28:36,950 --> 00:28:37,890 for some time. 665 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:39,170 - Is that right? - Absolutely. 666 00:28:39,190 --> 00:28:40,620 Civil rights are civil rights. 667 00:28:40,650 --> 00:28:41,650 It's so basic. 668 00:28:41,770 --> 00:28:44,330 And you know what comes after gay marriage? 669 00:28:45,230 --> 00:28:46,260 Gay divorce. 670 00:28:46,290 --> 00:28:48,760 - That's funny. - She's kidding. 671 00:28:48,790 --> 00:28:50,040 Oh, my ass I am. 672 00:28:50,140 --> 00:28:52,650 Listen, just as everyone should have the right to marry, 673 00:28:52,670 --> 00:28:54,820 everyone should have the right to un-marry 674 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,380 and be well represented doing so. 675 00:28:58,680 --> 00:28:59,710 Excuse me. Mwah. 676 00:28:59,740 --> 00:29:01,240 I wish you all the happiness in the world. 677 00:29:01,260 --> 00:29:03,450 Short of that, you text me. 678 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,030 Jesus, what percent of that was bull? 679 00:29:07,050 --> 00:29:08,470 None. None percent. 680 00:29:08,630 --> 00:29:11,140 She's an animal, but she's my animal. 681 00:29:11,660 --> 00:29:13,310 Hi. Hello. 682 00:29:13,340 --> 00:29:15,490 How's Delia? Max, welcome. 683 00:29:15,510 --> 00:29:18,930 This is the table where they stow the divorced ladies. 684 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,740 Come on, Max and Ford are sitting here too. 685 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:22,760 - Oh, great, great. - Sorry, that was from before. 686 00:29:22,780 --> 00:29:25,410 So they can rub their perfect marriage in my face. 687 00:29:25,430 --> 00:29:26,430 - Hey. - Hi, honey. 688 00:29:26,460 --> 00:29:27,840 - You look amaze. - Thank you so much. 689 00:29:27,870 --> 00:29:29,150 - Congrats. - Hi. 690 00:29:29,170 --> 00:29:30,010 Hey. 691 00:29:30,730 --> 00:29:31,650 Where were you? 692 00:29:31,670 --> 00:29:33,090 Mayor Garcetti wanted to talk Dodgers. 693 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:34,480 I'm sorry. 694 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:41,400 Good evening, everybody. 695 00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:42,780 Thank you all for being here, 696 00:29:42,810 --> 00:29:45,800 and welcome to the Family Equality Council's 697 00:29:45,820 --> 00:29:47,520 15th Annual Gala. 698 00:29:54,950 --> 00:29:56,720 We've had an exciting year, 699 00:29:56,740 --> 00:29:58,910 and we're gonna have an exciting evening 700 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,280 celebrating those brave pioneers 701 00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:04,820 who help us lead the fight for our most basic civil rights. 702 00:30:04,850 --> 00:30:06,850 You have the civil right 703 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:11,340 to then fall out of love with whom you have chosen 704 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:14,310 and question every choice you've made prior to that. 705 00:30:14,340 --> 00:30:17,000 Please welcome last year's recipient, 706 00:30:17,030 --> 00:30:18,570 Lieutenant Adele Northrop. 707 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,620 Thank you all. 708 00:30:28,650 --> 00:30:30,320 What a warm welcome. 709 00:30:30,340 --> 00:30:33,890 You have the right to be miserable. 710 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:35,380 I'm so sorry. I am so sorry. 711 00:30:35,410 --> 00:30:36,660 There she is. 712 00:30:36,930 --> 00:30:39,180 You are a menace, lady. 713 00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:40,540 You are a pimp, lady. 714 00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:43,000 You punched Damon Cash in the face. 715 00:30:43,030 --> 00:30:45,110 He tugged at my labial flap. 716 00:30:45,140 --> 00:30:46,880 I was trying to get you some relief, 717 00:30:46,900 --> 00:30:48,330 but obviously, you are impossible to relieve. 718 00:30:48,350 --> 00:30:49,890 What about picking up my dry cleaning? 719 00:30:49,910 --> 00:30:51,100 - How about a Vicodin? - You know what? 720 00:30:51,130 --> 00:30:52,160 You are such a pain in the ass. 721 00:30:52,180 --> 00:30:53,220 Can you please do something? 722 00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:54,000 I won't try to help anymore. 723 00:30:54,030 --> 00:30:55,140 - Quiet down. - Come on. 724 00:30:55,170 --> 00:30:56,440 - Let's go. - For what? 725 00:30:56,470 --> 00:30:59,070 A gift card for Barnes & Noble. 726 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:02,550 Shore up our ranks with their financial generosity, 727 00:31:02,570 --> 00:31:05,320 but who present our best face to the world. 728 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:06,240 Just take it easy. 729 00:31:06,260 --> 00:31:07,880 And then she punched my friend in the face. 730 00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:09,070 I didn't punch him. 731 00:31:09,090 --> 00:31:11,690 It was a reflexive backhand that connected with his nose. 732 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:12,800 Well, his nose is broken. 733 00:31:12,830 --> 00:31:14,660 Oh, my God, from an unsolicited sexual encounter. 734 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:15,790 I understand. 735 00:31:15,810 --> 00:31:17,010 I know for you, all are welcome. 736 00:31:17,030 --> 00:31:18,690 You know what? That is unfair. 737 00:31:18,710 --> 00:31:20,550 You have no idea what's happening with Vika and I. 738 00:31:20,570 --> 00:31:22,170 - Do not turn this around on me. - Okay, guys. 739 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:23,650 You have no idea what's going on with me. 740 00:31:23,670 --> 00:31:24,890 At least I'm not home-wrecking. 741 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:26,810 "Home-wrecking"? How about your home, Lyla? 742 00:31:26,830 --> 00:31:28,280 How about you? How about your family? 743 00:31:28,300 --> 00:31:30,460 - That's home-wrecking. - Oh, my God, so clever. 744 00:31:30,490 --> 00:31:33,650 People are finding each other, falling in love, 745 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:35,230 and getting married. 746 00:31:39,300 --> 00:31:40,700 So, for the first time, 747 00:31:40,730 --> 00:31:43,450 the Family Equality Council's Leadership Award 748 00:31:43,470 --> 00:31:47,190 goes not to an individual, but to a couple. 749 00:31:47,220 --> 00:31:50,670 Ford Phillips has been a master of the marketing universe 750 00:31:50,690 --> 00:31:52,280 for over a decade. 751 00:31:52,310 --> 00:31:53,830 You know what? I'm done helping you. 752 00:31:53,850 --> 00:31:55,150 I'm so done helping you. 753 00:31:55,170 --> 00:31:57,330 - Max, come on, we're up. - Okay, I'll be there... 754 00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:59,110 I'll be there in a second. Max, please, come on! 755 00:31:59,140 --> 00:32:00,670 - Go, go, go, go. - Max, it's all right. 756 00:32:00,690 --> 00:32:02,060 Why don't you figure out what's making you 757 00:32:02,090 --> 00:32:04,480 - so goddamn angry? - That makes me angry. 758 00:32:04,510 --> 00:32:06,690 Stop me telling me I'm angry. 759 00:32:06,740 --> 00:32:07,820 What is there to understand? 760 00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:09,380 They're about to call our names right now. 761 00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:10,680 - I heard you. - Max, please, come on! 762 00:32:10,700 --> 00:32:11,670 Right now! Please just go. 763 00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,830 - Go back inside, please. - Max! 764 00:32:13,860 --> 00:32:15,290 Ford, I'll be right in! 765 00:32:15,470 --> 00:32:16,840 Can you really not understand? 766 00:32:16,870 --> 00:32:18,460 No, we don't. We don't. 767 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:19,870 'Cause, Lyla, you know best, right? 768 00:32:19,900 --> 00:32:21,770 I do! In this case, I do. 769 00:32:21,790 --> 00:32:25,030 So figure out a way to dial it down. 770 00:32:25,060 --> 00:32:26,220 Take care of yourself 771 00:32:26,250 --> 00:32:28,550 so you're not taking it out on everybody else! 772 00:32:28,580 --> 00:32:29,910 This is important. 773 00:32:30,380 --> 00:32:31,800 I know it's important. 774 00:32:31,820 --> 00:32:34,220 - I'm... I'm not an idiot. - Who said you were an idiot? 775 00:32:34,250 --> 00:32:35,750 You! You said I was an idiot! 776 00:32:35,770 --> 00:32:38,100 Everything that I do, everything, 777 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:41,060 everything... the coaching, working, making dinner, 778 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:42,380 it's not important to you. 779 00:32:42,410 --> 00:32:43,670 You don't... 780 00:32:43,700 --> 00:32:46,030 You don't take anything 781 00:32:46,060 --> 00:32:48,930 that I do seriously unless it's about you. 782 00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:50,490 Do you really not understand? 783 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,560 Dan is gone. 784 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:55,340 We used to take care of each other, 785 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,850 and now he's possibly gonna take my children. 786 00:32:57,880 --> 00:32:59,330 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - No. 787 00:32:59,350 --> 00:33:01,270 No, no, no. Please, don't... no! 788 00:33:01,290 --> 00:33:04,210 You got the big job, and you got the big life, 789 00:33:04,230 --> 00:33:07,570 and you... you just want me to show up and look good. 790 00:33:07,740 --> 00:33:09,580 That... that is crazy. 791 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,140 Sometimes I feel like 792 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:12,950 you just want to be married. 793 00:33:13,740 --> 00:33:15,990 But do you want to be married to me? 794 00:33:27,620 --> 00:33:29,610 Ford and Max are not an example 795 00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,760 of what a gay family should look like. 796 00:33:33,300 --> 00:33:37,280 They're an example of what all families should look like. 797 00:33:37,350 --> 00:33:40,470 Ladies and gentlemen, it is my sincere honor 798 00:33:40,490 --> 00:33:41,990 to present this year's 799 00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:45,240 Family Equality Council's Leadership Award 800 00:33:45,260 --> 00:33:48,480 to Ford Phillips and Max McCarthy. 801 00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:00,500 Ford Phillips and Max McCarthy. 802 00:34:08,810 --> 00:34:09,870 Thank you. 803 00:34:12,070 --> 00:34:14,730 Wow. Catching my breath. 804 00:34:15,330 --> 00:34:16,520 Okay. 805 00:34:17,070 --> 00:34:19,540 Thank you, and thank you, Adele. 806 00:34:19,930 --> 00:34:22,350 My husband is, uh... 807 00:34:23,240 --> 00:34:25,120 Having a wardrobe malfunction. 808 00:34:25,500 --> 00:34:28,420 So just imagine a handsome man in a perfectly fitting suit 809 00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:31,410 standing right next to me, okay? 810 00:34:33,370 --> 00:34:35,840 Max and I thank you all for coming 811 00:34:36,090 --> 00:34:37,450 and thank you for battling alongside us 812 00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:39,600 in the fight for family equality. 813 00:34:40,030 --> 00:34:41,950 You know, when Max and I first met, 814 00:34:41,970 --> 00:34:46,650 the idea of getting married... That fantasy didn't exist yet. 815 00:34:47,150 --> 00:34:49,410 Well, I mean, I was fantasizing about doing other things... 816 00:34:49,460 --> 00:34:52,300 But not marriage. 817 00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:01,380 But then as we really got to know each other, I fell hard. 818 00:35:02,060 --> 00:35:06,520 I knew this man and I... We just fit. 819 00:35:08,220 --> 00:35:11,360 This man made me dream about forever. 820 00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:15,140 I mean, look at him. 821 00:35:15,550 --> 00:35:18,050 But we all know that isn't enough. 822 00:35:18,140 --> 00:35:21,310 I mean, you should see him with our boys. 823 00:35:21,340 --> 00:35:24,140 I dare anyone to see that and question his right 824 00:35:24,170 --> 00:35:26,920 to be a dad or our right to be a family. 825 00:35:31,210 --> 00:35:32,830 But I will say this. 826 00:35:33,030 --> 00:35:35,950 Now that we are legally man and man and kid and kid, 827 00:35:35,980 --> 00:35:38,760 the gets real, y'all. Whoo. 828 00:35:38,860 --> 00:35:42,730 Marriage... I mean, it's messy, and it's hard, 829 00:35:42,750 --> 00:35:44,680 and it ebbs and flows, 830 00:35:44,700 --> 00:35:48,850 but that's because it is alive, and that is a good thing. 831 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,720 That's what taking that vow is about, 832 00:35:52,070 --> 00:35:53,900 that when the fantasy is behind you, 833 00:35:53,930 --> 00:35:57,450 you look your spouse in the eye, and you say, "I do." 834 00:35:58,100 --> 00:36:02,100 I do, again and again. 835 00:36:05,110 --> 00:36:06,090 Max... 836 00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:11,250 I do... 837 00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:14,290 Always. 838 00:36:18,190 --> 00:36:19,660 Thank you. 839 00:36:29,170 --> 00:36:31,700 Now, for God's sake, can we dance now or what? 840 00:36:58,790 --> 00:37:01,290 I NEED TO SEE YOU. TONIGHT 841 00:37:05,830 --> 00:37:07,190 Nate? 842 00:37:08,470 --> 00:37:09,960 Nate? 843 00:37:10,450 --> 00:37:12,020 Nate! 844 00:37:13,310 --> 00:37:14,500 Abby. 845 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:16,780 Hey, Nate. 846 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,270 Sorry. 847 00:37:18,290 --> 00:37:20,130 - Hey. - Hi. 848 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:24,230 Oh, freeze! 849 00:37:24,250 --> 00:37:26,820 Everybody, go... Go back to one, please. 850 00:37:26,900 --> 00:37:28,620 And... and do it quietly. 851 00:37:28,650 --> 00:37:31,400 You people are noisier than what's going on in my head. 852 00:37:31,980 --> 00:37:33,220 Sorry. Let's go, everybody. 853 00:37:33,250 --> 00:37:34,630 - Move it. - Could you find me a sandwich? 854 00:37:34,650 --> 00:37:36,460 Just nothing with pink meat. 855 00:37:36,490 --> 00:37:38,040 - Do you want anything? - No, thank you. 856 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:40,240 Okay. Come with me. 857 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,020 Hoo. Wow. 858 00:37:42,050 --> 00:37:44,430 So? Hello. 859 00:37:44,450 --> 00:37:45,790 - Hi. - Ahh. 860 00:37:45,810 --> 00:37:48,410 - Um, this isn't working. - We don't fit. 861 00:37:50,510 --> 00:37:52,440 I mean, you can't blame us for trying, though. 862 00:37:52,460 --> 00:37:55,380 Those were really good emails... Emails, yeah. 863 00:37:55,410 --> 00:37:56,760 - And really bad sex. - Terrible sex. 864 00:37:57,420 --> 00:37:58,880 Awful. Horrible kissing. 865 00:37:58,900 --> 00:38:01,120 Really bad. 866 00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:03,330 Oh. 867 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:06,680 I just want to say thank you. 868 00:38:07,130 --> 00:38:08,610 You're welcome. 869 00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:10,140 What'd I do? 870 00:38:12,310 --> 00:38:13,330 For us... 871 00:38:14,370 --> 00:38:15,460 Getting close. 872 00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:20,390 You know, things we said, the way it made me feel... 873 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:25,580 It just... It was a big part of my... 874 00:38:26,540 --> 00:38:30,650 It really helped me realize that my marriage wasn't in trouble. 875 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:32,170 It was over. 876 00:38:36,410 --> 00:38:38,240 Likewise. 877 00:38:40,590 --> 00:38:42,340 I mean, it was good. 878 00:38:42,590 --> 00:38:44,770 - It was good in a lot of ways. - Yeah. 879 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,280 The secret Oscar story... 880 00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:52,120 We are now not only post-bad kiss, 881 00:38:52,140 --> 00:38:53,870 but we are post-bad sex. 882 00:38:54,140 --> 00:38:56,090 Change of subject... Very smart. 883 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:57,330 Um... 884 00:38:57,990 --> 00:38:59,230 Okay. 885 00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:00,950 So... 886 00:39:01,100 --> 00:39:03,260 Blah, blah, blah, I get up onstage. 887 00:39:03,290 --> 00:39:04,740 I go to shake Sidney Poitier's hand. 888 00:39:04,770 --> 00:39:05,650 Sidney Poitier. 889 00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:09,090 And I pooped my pants a little. 890 00:39:09,720 --> 00:39:12,510 I mean, not a shart, no fart... 891 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:14,030 __ 892 00:39:15,390 --> 00:39:16,390 I accepted the award. 893 00:39:16,410 --> 00:39:17,710 I went back to meet the press, 894 00:39:17,730 --> 00:39:19,940 and I stink up the place. 895 00:39:22,540 --> 00:39:23,710 It was hilarious. 896 00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:28,170 Oh. 897 00:39:29,330 --> 00:39:32,000 Let's never, ever, ever have sex again. 898 00:39:36,710 --> 00:39:39,570 Classic story of married boy meets married girl, 899 00:39:39,590 --> 00:39:41,260 and they get divorced and have terrible sex. 900 00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:42,700 It is a classic. 901 00:39:42,950 --> 00:39:44,130 When Harry met Sally 902 00:39:44,150 --> 00:39:46,130 and Harry talked about pooping in his pants. 903 00:39:46,790 --> 00:39:47,990 They should have made a sequel. 904 00:39:48,010 --> 00:39:49,300 What would the sequel be? 905 00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:50,440 I don't know. 906 00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:53,030 - He's so great. - Nate? 907 00:39:53,050 --> 00:39:54,500 - Really? - No, not Nate. 908 00:39:54,530 --> 00:39:55,590 I'm talking about your brother. 909 00:39:55,610 --> 00:39:57,680 Oh. Yeah. 910 00:39:58,190 --> 00:40:00,350 - You're both great. - Good stop! 911 00:40:00,370 --> 00:40:02,490 Oh! Ah! 912 00:40:02,730 --> 00:40:04,070 - Yes! - Yeah! 913 00:40:04,090 --> 00:40:05,100 What just happened? 914 00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:06,740 There you go. That's what I'm talking about. 915 00:40:06,770 --> 00:40:07,680 Do you not know the rules? 916 00:40:07,710 --> 00:40:08,950 - I can walk you through it. - No clue. 917 00:40:08,980 --> 00:40:09,990 There's nine players on field. 918 00:40:10,010 --> 00:40:11,510 The pitcher throws to the catcher. 919 00:40:11,540 --> 00:40:13,910 You know what? Actually, I don't even care. 920 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,420 I just want to watch my husband do his thing. 921 00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:17,590 Okay. 922 00:40:17,900 --> 00:40:19,430 Here we go, Jamie. 923 00:40:19,460 --> 00:40:21,270 Go get 'em, baby. 924 00:40:21,820 --> 00:40:24,080 There you go! There you go! 925 00:40:47,830 --> 00:40:49,700 Special order ricotta gnocchi, 926 00:40:49,720 --> 00:40:51,230 chanterelles, and sage brown butter. 927 00:40:51,250 --> 00:40:53,960 Thank you. It looks perfect. 928 00:41:13,930 --> 00:41:15,780 My friends are onto us. 929 00:41:16,570 --> 00:41:18,670 I'm not a home-wrecker. 930 00:41:18,890 --> 00:41:21,180 I think we should come out to the world. 931 00:41:21,460 --> 00:41:23,930 Oh, do we have to? 932 00:41:24,980 --> 00:41:28,100 Can't it just be our fantasy for a little bit longer? 933 00:41:28,130 --> 00:41:29,240 Okay. 934 00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:36,350 Yeah, that's fine. That's a good idea. 935 00:41:49,928 --> 00:41:51,905 HEY. IT'S ICE MOUTH REMEMBER ME? 936 00:42:03,184 --> 00:42:04,910 MOVIE GENRE 937 00:42:08,276 --> 00:42:09,910 ROMANTIC COMEDIES 938 00:42:13,736 --> 00:42:15,236 NOTTING HILL 939 00:42:15,240 --> 00:42:16,632 BUFFERING