1
00:00:13,150 --> 00:00:14,716
I don't know, it's, like, normally,
2
00:00:14,717 --> 00:00:16,952
I wake up with this, like, mixed feeling
3
00:00:16,953 --> 00:00:18,653
of dread and inadequacy,
4
00:00:18,654 --> 00:00:21,056
like this is gonna be
the new worst day of my life.
5
00:00:21,057 --> 00:00:23,058
But this morning, I woke up,
6
00:00:23,060 --> 00:00:26,243
and I just...
I don't know, I feel... better.
7
00:00:26,296 --> 00:00:28,697
Even that horrible, screeching wand thingy
8
00:00:28,698 --> 00:00:30,666
doesn't even bother me.
9
00:00:30,667 --> 00:00:32,367
Oop, found my IUD.
10
00:00:32,402 --> 00:00:35,271
It's my IUD, everybody!
11
00:00:35,272 --> 00:00:37,106
Or it's my belt.
12
00:00:37,107 --> 00:00:39,675
Oh, my God. That's it.
13
00:00:39,676 --> 00:00:41,453
I'm over Trent. Tha...
14
00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:43,980
I am so completely over him,
it's ridiculous.
15
00:00:43,981 --> 00:00:48,751
It's like I have this...
Oh, new sense of, like, hope.
16
00:00:48,752 --> 00:00:50,186
I'm glad you do.
17
00:00:50,187 --> 00:00:53,857
Right, God, sorry. You...
18
00:00:53,858 --> 00:00:56,039
Robbed a church. Okey-doke.
19
00:00:56,041 --> 00:00:57,984
So that's... that's fun.
20
00:01:00,306 --> 00:01:02,976
Benched - 01x11
Campaign Contributions
21
00:01:06,438 --> 00:01:08,639
- Morning!
- Morning.
22
00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,808
- Sharp suit, guy.
- Thanks.
23
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:13,377
Hey. You're gonna beat this.
24
00:01:13,378 --> 00:01:14,545
Maybe.
25
00:01:14,546 --> 00:01:16,046
Anytime. Give me a call.
26
00:01:16,047 --> 00:01:18,062
- Counselor.
- Good morning.
27
00:01:18,183 --> 00:01:20,384
Yes, exactly. Good morning.
28
00:01:20,385 --> 00:01:21,953
Morning, because it's before noon,
29
00:01:21,954 --> 00:01:24,622
and good, because for the first
time in like the longest time,
30
00:01:24,623 --> 00:01:26,968
I have no feelings for you!
31
00:01:26,992 --> 00:01:28,927
I mean, I look at you and I see...
32
00:01:28,928 --> 00:01:30,428
A little boy. Hi.
33
00:01:30,429 --> 00:01:32,163
- You're pretty.
- Thank you.
34
00:01:32,164 --> 00:01:34,432
Almost as pretty as Trent's fiancee.
35
00:01:34,433 --> 00:01:35,999
What a delight. What are you doing here?
36
00:01:36,001 --> 00:01:38,536
I'm in a mentorship program.
This is Walter.
37
00:01:38,538 --> 00:01:40,305
We're sending bad guys to the slammer.
38
00:01:40,306 --> 00:01:42,140
- Yeah.
- Oh, charming.
39
00:01:42,141 --> 00:01:43,942
For a second, I thought maybe you adopted,
40
00:01:43,943 --> 00:01:47,382
which, wow, would
actually be totally fine.
41
00:01:47,413 --> 00:01:50,382
God, this is amazing. Let's test it.
How is wedding planning going?
42
00:01:50,483 --> 00:01:53,789
You guys writing your own vows, or is
Maria just going with Coldplay lyrics?
43
00:01:53,854 --> 00:01:56,756
Oh, we're actually putting
that on hold for a little bit.
44
00:01:56,757 --> 00:01:59,023
- Just sorting some stuff out.
- Oh.
45
00:01:59,092 --> 00:02:01,894
That is... that's some kind of news, huh?
46
00:02:01,895 --> 00:02:04,764
Wow, you know, old me would be,
like, secretly delighted,
47
00:02:04,765 --> 00:02:07,600
but new me is, like,
"good luck with that."
48
00:02:08,969 --> 00:02:10,670
- She talks a lot.
- Yes, she does.
49
00:02:12,473 --> 00:02:14,007
- Wheels came off.
- No, no, 'cause see,
50
00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:17,077
that's just it.
Today, nothing can go wrong.
51
00:02:17,078 --> 00:02:18,906
Oh.
52
00:02:19,580 --> 00:02:21,581
The defendant stole
a bunch of chair wheels.
53
00:02:21,582 --> 00:02:23,984
Weird guy, loves wheels.
54
00:02:23,985 --> 00:02:25,351
And cocaine.
55
00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:27,921
Guys, something big
just happened in the bathroom.
56
00:02:27,922 --> 00:02:29,356
- Oh, come on.
- Again, Carlos?
57
00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:31,825
- Go to the doctor.
- Cheryl, no!
58
00:02:31,826 --> 00:02:34,468
I heard a rumor that someone here
59
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,122
is on the short list
for L.A. Public Defender
60
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:38,296
- of the year.
- Is it me?
61
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:39,546
It's Phil.
62
00:02:39,548 --> 00:02:41,803
- Is it me?
- No, it's Phil.
63
00:02:41,804 --> 00:02:43,604
- Is it me?
- It's you!
64
00:02:43,605 --> 00:02:45,106
Wait, Public Defender of the Year.
65
00:02:45,107 --> 00:02:46,441
- That's actually a thing?
- Yeah.
66
00:02:46,442 --> 00:02:49,344
We get beat up so much in court,
they think it's nice to give us a win.
67
00:02:49,346 --> 00:02:51,447
But just one of us and only once a year.
68
00:02:51,447 --> 00:02:53,348
- Who's "they"?
- Nobody knows.
69
00:02:53,349 --> 00:02:54,562
Jesus Christ, Micah. What...
70
00:02:54,564 --> 00:02:57,937
Why don't you announce yourself before you
come be-bopping on in to someone's space?
71
00:02:58,087 --> 00:02:59,955
The award is given out
by a semi-anonymous committee
72
00:02:59,956 --> 00:03:01,957
of judges, D.As, law professors.
73
00:03:01,958 --> 00:03:03,257
- You know the type.
- Phil,
74
00:03:03,259 --> 00:03:05,156
what name are you gonna use
on your plaque?
75
00:03:05,161 --> 00:03:06,962
- You get a plaque?
- Yeah,
76
00:03:06,963 --> 00:03:08,703
if you bring a $50 check
to the awards dinner.
77
00:03:08,705 --> 00:03:11,433
- There's an awards dinner?
- Yes, which you also pay for.
78
00:03:11,434 --> 00:03:15,773
I mean, come on, do you guys actually
think that I have a chance against Mitch?
79
00:03:15,775 --> 00:03:17,009
- Ugh!
- Mitch.
80
00:03:17,011 --> 00:03:18,015
Mitch.
81
00:03:18,041 --> 00:03:19,876
It's easy to win cases
in the Pasadena Office.
82
00:03:19,877 --> 00:03:21,911
It's all jaywalking and dog poop tickets.
83
00:03:21,912 --> 00:03:23,246
Mitch is the worst.
84
00:03:23,247 --> 00:03:24,847
I don't know
what metric system you're using,
85
00:03:24,848 --> 00:03:26,182
but sounds like Mitch is the best.
86
00:03:26,183 --> 00:03:27,784
No, he's the fake-est,
87
00:03:27,785 --> 00:03:30,553
most glad-handing brown-noser
of all time, all right?
88
00:03:30,554 --> 00:03:32,455
It's exactly the kind of guy
that wins these things,
89
00:03:32,456 --> 00:03:33,867
which is exactly why I want no part of it.
90
00:03:33,958 --> 00:03:35,192
Well, wait a minute. Wait.
91
00:03:35,193 --> 00:03:37,827
All right. Yeah.
92
00:03:37,828 --> 00:03:39,696
So wait, your plan is to just do nothing?
93
00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:41,187
Well, having a plan
would involve planning,
94
00:03:41,199 --> 00:03:42,933
but I don't plan on planning anything.
95
00:03:42,934 --> 00:03:45,936
Okay, but this is official validation
that you are better than everyone else.
96
00:03:45,937 --> 00:03:47,571
- How do you not want that?
- Look,
97
00:03:47,572 --> 00:03:49,640
Nina, the whole thing is a sham, okay?
98
00:03:49,708 --> 00:03:52,276
They vet some people that have
had a few trials go their way,
99
00:03:52,277 --> 00:03:54,778
and then ultimately, it just becomes
this big ass-kissing contest,
100
00:03:54,779 --> 00:03:56,280
and frankly, I can't fake it.
101
00:03:56,281 --> 00:03:57,601
Oh, you can't fake it.
So when you kiss ass,
102
00:03:57,603 --> 00:04:00,523
you just really get in there
and give 100% to that ass?
103
00:04:00,525 --> 00:04:02,059
Shut up.
104
00:04:02,523 --> 00:04:04,422
Hey. You should let me help you.
105
00:04:04,423 --> 00:04:06,157
I can be, like, your campaign manager.
106
00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:08,156
- Don't you have someplace to be?
- Nope, very slow morning.
107
00:04:08,261 --> 00:04:09,961
Now, committee members can be anywhere,
108
00:04:09,962 --> 00:04:11,997
so you've got to do what
you do when you pick up girls.
109
00:04:11,998 --> 00:04:13,965
Compliment them, laugh at their jokes,
110
00:04:13,966 --> 00:04:15,200
don't look at their boobs.
111
00:04:15,201 --> 00:04:17,002
Now, who is the judge today?
112
00:04:17,003 --> 00:04:19,004
- It's Miyaki, why?
- Oh, perfect.
113
00:04:19,005 --> 00:04:21,206
She just got a new perm.
Tell her you like her hair.
114
00:04:21,207 --> 00:04:22,674
All rise.
115
00:04:27,313 --> 00:04:29,632
Abort. Abort, abort, abort.
116
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,617
- Perm...
- Oh.
117
00:04:31,618 --> 00:04:34,351
Ission to approach the bench, Your Honor.
118
00:04:35,722 --> 00:04:37,623
To trespassing, possession,
and lewd conduct,
119
00:04:37,624 --> 00:04:41,227
my client pleads guilty.
To jail, criminal.
120
00:04:41,228 --> 00:04:43,162
Your Honor, may we approach?
121
00:04:44,898 --> 00:04:47,700
Not that you're not fully aware
of the goings-on in your court,
122
00:04:47,701 --> 00:04:50,781
Your Honor, but there was a small child
sitting with the prosecution.
123
00:04:50,871 --> 00:04:52,972
I'm sorry, Your Honor.
I volunteer as a big brother.
124
00:04:52,973 --> 00:04:55,008
- Of course you do.
- School's out this week,
125
00:04:55,009 --> 00:04:56,943
- and both parents work.
- Say no more.
126
00:04:56,944 --> 00:05:00,054
I was a big bro myself.
Made me the man I am today.
127
00:05:00,147 --> 00:05:02,132
You learning about the justice
system, young man?
128
00:05:02,134 --> 00:05:05,066
Yeah, I think I got it.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
129
00:05:05,386 --> 00:05:07,554
We're the good guys, they're the bad guys,
130
00:05:07,555 --> 00:05:08,695
and you're Switzerland?
131
00:05:08,756 --> 00:05:10,490
Well, that's pretty much the idea.
132
00:05:10,492 --> 00:05:12,927
Your Honor, I find this childish amusement
133
00:05:12,928 --> 00:05:15,429
at my client's expense
extremely insensitive.
134
00:05:15,430 --> 00:05:17,421
Objection. Lame.
135
00:05:17,481 --> 00:05:20,167
Overruled, but agreed.
136
00:05:23,005 --> 00:05:24,639
You don't want any tangible evidence
137
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,374
that you even existed here
for the past 12 years,
138
00:05:26,376 --> 00:05:27,429
like, no plaque?
139
00:05:27,431 --> 00:05:29,511
Why do I want a plaque
when I could have a sandwich?
140
00:05:29,512 --> 00:05:30,843
Hi there.
141
00:05:30,846 --> 00:05:32,147
- Two pastramis, please.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
142
00:05:32,148 --> 00:05:35,116
Oh, right. One pastrami and nothing.
143
00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:37,886
Councilman Lopez, the pez dispenser.
144
00:05:37,887 --> 00:05:40,257
Oh, God.
145
00:05:40,323 --> 00:05:42,591
Mitch Grady, 2014
Public Defender of the Year
146
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,421
and hopefully, 2015.
147
00:05:44,527 --> 00:05:46,628
I can get down with that goatee, man.
148
00:05:46,629 --> 00:05:48,864
Oh, my God, you were not
kidding about this guy.
149
00:05:48,865 --> 00:05:51,300
No, no, Mitch posts himself up here
150
00:05:51,301 --> 00:05:52,901
about this time every year
151
00:05:52,902 --> 00:05:54,429
to jerk off potential committee members.
152
00:05:54,431 --> 00:05:55,932
Quinlan? Phil Quinlan?
153
00:05:55,934 --> 00:05:57,835
Imagine that.
154
00:05:57,908 --> 00:06:00,142
Hey, but there's always
one joke candidate, right?
155
00:06:00,143 --> 00:06:02,077
You know, he's like the
plus-sized girl on Top Model.
156
00:06:02,079 --> 00:06:04,147
- Oh ho ho!
- That's true.
157
00:06:04,148 --> 00:06:07,717
Hey, look who it is!
Phil... adelphia cream cheese.
158
00:06:07,718 --> 00:06:09,318
Hide your bagels, everybody!
159
00:06:09,319 --> 00:06:11,220
How you doing there, Mitch?
160
00:06:11,221 --> 00:06:13,289
Hey, I heard you're up for P.D.O.T.Y.
161
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,524
- Yep.
- About time you got
162
00:06:14,525 --> 00:06:16,159
some "recognish."
163
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,867
Hey, may the best man win, but watch out!
164
00:06:17,869 --> 00:06:19,382
- Oh, okay.
- Heh heh.
165
00:06:19,429 --> 00:06:21,564
- Mitch Grady.
- Nina Whitley.
166
00:06:21,566 --> 00:06:23,164
Nina Whitley. Whitley...
167
00:06:23,201 --> 00:06:24,601
Oh! "Whitley Houston."
168
00:06:24,602 --> 00:06:25,796
- Ho, ho.
- Oh, died.
169
00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:30,007
Uh, "Whitley" while you work.
170
00:06:30,008 --> 00:06:31,408
- I'll workshop it.
- Great.
171
00:06:31,409 --> 00:06:33,277
- I'll workshop it, okay.
- Looking forward to that.
172
00:06:33,278 --> 00:06:34,645
Hey, don't turn your back.
Kidney punch, kidney punch!
173
00:06:34,646 --> 00:06:36,213
Oh! Yeah.
174
00:06:37,174 --> 00:06:38,475
Whoa.
175
00:06:38,484 --> 00:06:40,518
You want to help me win? I'm in.
176
00:06:40,519 --> 00:06:43,488
What, 'cause of some personal
vendetta dick-measuring contest?
177
00:06:43,489 --> 00:06:45,156
- Yep.
- Nothing to do with what
178
00:06:45,157 --> 00:06:46,657
- I said about life and trying?
- Nope.
179
00:06:46,659 --> 00:06:48,159
I don't care about any of that.
180
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,095
- I'm gonna crush him.
- Where are you go...
181
00:06:50,096 --> 00:06:52,023
Why are you always walking away from me?
182
00:06:55,628 --> 00:06:58,630
We're gonna have to miss lunch, buddy.
We got a mayhem deposition in ten minutes.
183
00:06:58,631 --> 00:07:00,273
Oh, no, no, no, no.
You cannot take him to that.
184
00:07:00,366 --> 00:07:03,401
No, it's cool. I made sure there'll
be an extra chair for him.
185
00:07:03,402 --> 00:07:04,969
How cool is it gonna be when he finds out
186
00:07:04,970 --> 00:07:06,938
that mayhem means
the wanton and permanent removal
187
00:07:06,939 --> 00:07:08,473
of a... Person's limbs?
188
00:07:08,474 --> 00:07:09,335
Super cool!
189
00:07:09,408 --> 00:07:11,243
Is there gonna be blood involved?
190
00:07:11,244 --> 00:07:13,078
What are they gonna use
to get the limbs off?
191
00:07:13,079 --> 00:07:14,579
- You see this?
- Why don't you get a snack,
192
00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:16,414
- buddy?
- Okay, you want something?
193
00:07:16,415 --> 00:07:17,849
No.
194
00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:19,359
No, you're right,
you're right, but I just...
195
00:07:19,361 --> 00:07:21,695
I'm running really late, so I don't know.
196
00:07:21,697 --> 00:07:23,321
Could you maybe take him for a second?
197
00:07:23,323 --> 00:07:26,328
- Me?
- Could be a chance to broaden a young mind.
198
00:07:26,393 --> 00:07:29,762
I like that bad guys always lose
and that you get to wear a dress.
199
00:07:29,763 --> 00:07:31,230
Me too.
200
00:07:31,231 --> 00:07:33,399
I wonder if he knows what a bone saw is.
201
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:34,834
Okay, fine, fine. I'll take him.
202
00:07:36,570 --> 00:07:38,404
Profiles on every person
who might possibly
203
00:07:38,405 --> 00:07:40,373
be on the committee. Top secret sh...
204
00:07:40,374 --> 00:07:42,809
Brace yourself. There's some nude photos.
205
00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:45,210
You expect me to memorize this?
Yeah, as much as you can.
206
00:07:45,212 --> 00:07:46,679
You're gonna need it tonight
at the Rutherford Club.
207
00:07:46,681 --> 00:07:48,581
God, I hate that stuffy old boys' club.
208
00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:50,717
Well, on most nights,
these guys are there,
209
00:07:50,718 --> 00:07:53,553
so it's the perfect opportunity
for us to talk you up.
210
00:07:53,555 --> 00:07:55,453
And you could smoke a cigar,
you could sip some scotch,
211
00:07:55,490 --> 00:07:56,924
and you could schmooze
until the handshaking
212
00:07:56,925 --> 00:07:58,492
gives you carpal tunnel
and the brown-nosing
213
00:07:58,493 --> 00:08:00,218
gives you pink eye. Come on.
214
00:08:01,696 --> 00:08:03,898
Hey, random kid in our office.
215
00:08:03,899 --> 00:08:06,367
Practice your small talk.
Good time to do it.
216
00:08:06,368 --> 00:08:08,768
- Nice shirt.
- Wish I could say the same.
217
00:08:08,770 --> 00:08:11,005
See, this is why I don't talk
to old people or kids.
218
00:08:11,006 --> 00:08:12,807
Everyone here looks like the people
219
00:08:12,808 --> 00:08:15,076
I run over in Grand Theft Auto.
220
00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:16,945
Okay, just try not to bother anyone.
221
00:08:16,947 --> 00:08:18,609
How about that?
222
00:08:18,647 --> 00:08:19,647
Do you like egg salad?
223
00:08:19,648 --> 00:08:21,082
I'll stick with these.
224
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:23,617
So, you guys are, like, the loser lawyers?
225
00:08:23,652 --> 00:08:25,420
Basically.
226
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:26,976
No, Larry, we're not loser lawyers.
227
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:28,823
We do important work here.
228
00:08:28,824 --> 00:08:30,725
We uphold the rights of
those who need it most,
229
00:08:30,726 --> 00:08:32,193
those who can't defend themselves.
230
00:08:32,194 --> 00:08:34,462
Is that why they made ten Law & Orders
231
00:08:34,463 --> 00:08:36,257
and none of them are
about Public Defenders?
232
00:08:36,259 --> 00:08:37,898
Well, there should be.
233
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:41,236
Sometimes good people get accused
of a crime they didn't do.
234
00:08:41,237 --> 00:08:43,375
And you guys help them get out of trouble?
235
00:08:43,407 --> 00:08:44,740
Not usually.
236
00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:46,409
Then what's even the point?
237
00:08:46,410 --> 00:08:48,812
I... don't know.
238
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,514
Trent's like a superhero catching bad guys
239
00:08:51,515 --> 00:08:52,849
and sending them right where they belong...
240
00:08:52,850 --> 00:08:53,883
Prison.
241
00:08:53,884 --> 00:08:56,285
No, no, no, no. We're the superheroes.
242
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,046
Because of us, people get a shot.
243
00:08:58,147 --> 00:08:59,648
But Trent's got a better office,
244
00:08:59,657 --> 00:09:02,304
better suits, plus that guy gets lucky.
245
00:09:02,326 --> 00:09:03,460
A lot.
246
00:09:03,461 --> 00:09:04,561
Yeah, I get lucky.
247
00:09:04,562 --> 00:09:05,895
- You do?
- You do?
248
00:09:05,896 --> 00:09:07,497
Yes. No.
249
00:09:07,498 --> 00:09:10,476
I'm going through a divorce, Walter, okay?
250
00:09:10,568 --> 00:09:12,502
But when I was married, my wife and I,
251
00:09:12,503 --> 00:09:15,472
we... why am I defending
my sex life to a kid?
252
00:09:21,246 --> 00:09:22,413
All right.
253
00:09:22,414 --> 00:09:24,181
Let's bang this out.
254
00:09:24,182 --> 00:09:27,485
Yeah, okay, so I knew you
were gonna wear a joke tie,
255
00:09:27,486 --> 00:09:28,929
so I came prepared.
256
00:09:29,621 --> 00:09:31,222
This tie tells a story.
257
00:09:31,223 --> 00:09:32,328
Oh, yeah.
258
00:09:32,330 --> 00:09:34,926
Oh, my God, is that story
"I'm a cheap jackass"?
259
00:09:34,927 --> 00:09:36,960
Okay.
260
00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:40,398
Are you kidding? All right, fine.
261
00:09:40,399 --> 00:09:41,566
- Come on.
- I got it.
262
00:09:41,567 --> 00:09:43,034
Put your collar up first.
263
00:09:43,035 --> 00:09:45,904
Good, now you look like a winner,
264
00:09:45,905 --> 00:09:47,872
so just act like one for an hour.
265
00:09:47,873 --> 00:09:49,841
Nina.
266
00:09:49,842 --> 00:09:51,140
This is a surprise.
267
00:09:51,185 --> 00:09:52,476
Hello, Trent.
268
00:09:52,545 --> 00:09:53,846
And Phil.
269
00:09:53,847 --> 00:09:55,047
I didn't expect to find you here.
270
00:09:55,048 --> 00:09:57,783
I always thought of you as more
of a "toy with your meal" kind of guy.
271
00:09:57,784 --> 00:10:00,617
That's good, that's good, and you know,
and I pegged you as more of a guy
272
00:10:00,646 --> 00:10:02,750
- who s... his pants.
- Based on-based on what?
273
00:10:02,781 --> 00:10:06,625
Okay, we're just here to make the rounds.
Awards season and all, so...
274
00:10:06,626 --> 00:10:09,539
Of course.
Well, I will leave you to it.
275
00:10:10,464 --> 00:10:13,032
Hey, nice tie, by the way.
276
00:10:13,033 --> 00:10:15,401
Oh, I get it. I see, I see.
277
00:10:15,402 --> 00:10:17,437
You're trying to turn me into
a little miniature version
278
00:10:17,438 --> 00:10:18,976
of him, aren't you? That's not gonna work.
279
00:10:19,039 --> 00:10:21,607
I am obviously much taller
and have way better breath.
280
00:10:21,608 --> 00:10:23,695
Okay, no, but look at him.
281
00:10:23,911 --> 00:10:25,278
He's the king of the cocktail party.
282
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:27,445
You can do this.
You just have to give yourself a shot.
283
00:10:27,532 --> 00:10:29,600
I mean, or you can let him win.
284
00:10:29,617 --> 00:10:31,818
So juror number four,
285
00:10:31,819 --> 00:10:34,321
this guy Jack says,
286
00:10:34,322 --> 00:10:35,687
"Mitch, I like you.
287
00:10:35,689 --> 00:10:39,617
You've got heart in spades."
288
00:10:39,661 --> 00:10:40,961
Oh!
289
00:10:40,962 --> 00:10:43,597
All right. Let's give it a shot.
290
00:10:43,598 --> 00:10:44,731
Okay.
291
00:10:44,732 --> 00:10:46,023
After you.
292
00:10:46,568 --> 00:10:48,402
It all starts with freedom of speech.
293
00:10:48,403 --> 00:10:51,492
Isn't that, um, law professor
sacks or something?
294
00:10:51,494 --> 00:10:53,808
Yeah, you read my files.
295
00:10:53,809 --> 00:10:56,844
The constitution seldom changes.
296
00:10:56,845 --> 00:10:59,447
- Our understanding, however...
- I keep saying
297
00:10:59,448 --> 00:11:02,289
"if the constitution is a living document,
298
00:11:02,351 --> 00:11:04,552
then why isn't it returning my calls?"
299
00:11:04,553 --> 00:11:05,820
Nina Whitley, pleasure.
300
00:11:07,089 --> 00:11:08,656
"Returning my"...
301
00:11:08,657 --> 00:11:11,250
My colleague, Phil Quinlan, once used
the first amendment on a Graffiti case.
302
00:11:11,327 --> 00:11:13,061
He called it the "bathroom stall defense."
303
00:11:13,062 --> 00:11:14,963
Now, that's something
I never learned at Stanford.
304
00:11:14,964 --> 00:11:17,199
Yeah, yeah, it got me an acquittal.
305
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,202
Plus, I got loo
some Picasso-esque drawings
306
00:11:20,203 --> 00:11:21,636
of male genitalia.
307
00:11:22,539 --> 00:11:24,707
Well, every job has its perks, eh?
308
00:11:24,708 --> 00:11:26,542
They're eating you up.
309
00:11:26,543 --> 00:11:27,609
Keep going.
310
00:11:27,611 --> 00:11:30,046
So, constitution guy, huh?
311
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,082
You know the a map on the back.
312
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,257
You guys didn't see National Treasure?
313
00:11:35,953 --> 00:11:38,187
I see you're still a hit
with the AARP crowd, huh?
314
00:11:38,188 --> 00:11:40,890
Yeah, and I see you still come here
every Tuesday night for date night.
315
00:11:40,891 --> 00:11:42,773
- Old habits.
- Where is Maria?
316
00:11:43,694 --> 00:11:45,295
She wasn't feeling up to it tonight,
317
00:11:45,296 --> 00:11:47,563
so I'm traveling solo.
318
00:11:47,565 --> 00:11:51,101
Hey, I noticed you bought
Phil my favorite tie.
319
00:11:51,102 --> 00:11:52,769
You guys aren't, uh...
320
00:11:52,770 --> 00:11:54,938
Uh...
321
00:11:54,939 --> 00:11:58,109
No. No. No.
322
00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,142
God, no, no, no.
323
00:11:59,143 --> 00:12:00,210
- Good.
- Yeah.
324
00:12:00,211 --> 00:12:01,545
I mean, not that I care.
325
00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:05,250
Yeah. Not that I care if you...
How great is it that I don't care?
326
00:12:05,293 --> 00:12:06,493
- That is great.
- Yeah.
327
00:12:06,494 --> 00:12:07,828
Trenter's insurance.
328
00:12:07,829 --> 00:12:09,230
Nina Schnitzel.
329
00:12:09,230 --> 00:12:10,695
I'm working on it. Don't sue me.
330
00:12:10,733 --> 00:12:12,133
That is my cue.
331
00:12:12,134 --> 00:12:14,569
Hey, I saw you talking
to the Attorney General.
332
00:12:14,570 --> 00:12:15,903
- Introduce me.
- Nah.
333
00:12:15,904 --> 00:12:17,039
Boo.
334
00:12:17,072 --> 00:12:18,806
Hey, may I get a whiskey, neat?
335
00:12:18,807 --> 00:12:21,176
God, that is the longest I've ever talked
336
00:12:21,177 --> 00:12:22,644
about my job while not at work.
337
00:12:22,645 --> 00:12:25,867
- That was not even two minutes.
- I know. I'm exhausted.
338
00:12:27,450 --> 00:12:29,050
You know you can do this, right?
339
00:12:29,051 --> 00:12:30,886
You are just as good as anybody here.
340
00:12:30,887 --> 00:12:32,954
What is this to you, anyway?
Why are you doing all this?
341
00:12:32,955 --> 00:12:34,556
I'm doing this because you deserve it.
342
00:12:34,557 --> 00:12:36,825
You're actually one of
the best lawyers I know,
343
00:12:36,826 --> 00:12:39,427
and one of the best people I know,
344
00:12:39,428 --> 00:12:41,029
and I refuse to let you
bring yourself down
345
00:12:41,030 --> 00:12:43,187
with your whole
"I don't give a crap" shtick.
346
00:12:43,366 --> 00:12:44,666
Okay?
347
00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:46,935
So how 'bout get back out there?
348
00:12:46,936 --> 00:12:49,438
After you.
349
00:13:37,724 --> 00:13:40,125
And I told him, "you turn
this schooner back to shore,
350
00:13:40,126 --> 00:13:42,529
or I'm going to mount
your head in my study."
351
00:13:52,105 --> 00:13:55,040
Objection! He totally did it.
352
00:13:55,041 --> 00:13:56,960
Objection? Your face did it.
353
00:13:56,977 --> 00:13:59,144
Can we make him stop talking?
354
00:13:59,145 --> 00:14:00,779
This kid thinks Trent's a hero.
355
00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:03,445
Can you believe that?
He's got it totally backwards.
356
00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:05,885
But I've got this terrible case coming up.
357
00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,987
Grandma keeps selling
ice cream without a license.
358
00:14:07,988 --> 00:14:11,057
Trent's gunning for time.
We'll see who the hero is then.
359
00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:12,792
It's gonna be a sob fest.
360
00:14:12,793 --> 00:14:14,593
Can't wait.
361
00:14:14,743 --> 00:14:17,263
Well, I'm glad you're the
office's passionate idealist.
362
00:14:17,264 --> 00:14:19,065
By the way, how did it go last night?
363
00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:21,534
Did you sell your soul to get a plaque
you're gonna have to pay for?
364
00:14:21,535 --> 00:14:26,265
You know how Nina can be
overbearing and really annoying.
365
00:14:26,841 --> 00:14:29,409
Well, last night was different.
366
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:30,644
It was nice.
367
00:14:30,645 --> 00:14:31,979
- Nice, like...
- No, no, no, no,
368
00:14:31,981 --> 00:14:33,348
not like that.
369
00:14:33,348 --> 00:14:35,716
Just, she helped me feel okay
370
00:14:35,717 --> 00:14:37,584
in a fancy world I don't belong.
371
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,553
- Sounds like Titanic.
- No.
372
00:14:40,289 --> 00:14:42,203
She helped me fake it,
373
00:14:42,858 --> 00:14:44,225
you know, with all those people.
374
00:14:44,226 --> 00:14:46,160
Ah, My Fair Lady.
375
00:14:46,161 --> 00:14:47,962
No, no, no.
376
00:14:47,963 --> 00:14:50,431
It's just, it's been a while since
I've been in a relationship.
377
00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:52,132
- The teamwork...
- Uh-huh.
378
00:14:53,569 --> 00:14:55,370
Felt good.
379
00:14:55,371 --> 00:14:57,071
Just for one day.
380
00:14:57,072 --> 00:14:59,132
- That's Moulin Rouge.
- Not Moulin Rouge.
381
00:15:03,976 --> 00:15:05,043
After repeated citations,
382
00:15:05,044 --> 00:15:08,647
Ms. Gonzalez has once again
violated section 16, title 21,
383
00:15:08,648 --> 00:15:11,249
vending dairy products without a license.
384
00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:13,752
No permit, must not acquit.
385
00:15:13,753 --> 00:15:17,322
Your Honor, Ms. Gonzalez's only crime
386
00:15:17,323 --> 00:15:18,824
was selling ice cream.
387
00:15:18,825 --> 00:15:19,991
What?
388
00:15:19,992 --> 00:15:23,429
She violated multiple health codes
and permit laws for the fourth time.
389
00:15:23,463 --> 00:15:25,330
Wait, what's so bad
about selling ice cream?
390
00:15:25,331 --> 00:15:26,398
No talking.
391
00:15:26,399 --> 00:15:29,078
It was cute at first.
Now, I'm over it.
392
00:15:29,436 --> 00:15:30,936
So the people are seeking jail time?
393
00:15:30,937 --> 00:15:33,804
- That is correct, Your Honor.
- That lady can't go to jail!
394
00:15:33,873 --> 00:15:35,507
- Walter, shh.
- Are you kidding me?
395
00:15:35,508 --> 00:15:36,851
She didn't even do anything.
396
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,870
She doesn't deserve to go to jail.
397
00:15:38,879 --> 00:15:39,945
Walter, be quiet.
398
00:15:39,946 --> 00:15:40,946
Ugh.
399
00:15:40,947 --> 00:15:42,048
You're out of order.
400
00:15:42,049 --> 00:15:44,226
You're out of order!
401
00:15:44,284 --> 00:15:46,343
A five-minute recess Your Honor?
402
00:15:46,465 --> 00:15:49,648
Sure, whatever. It's not like
I'm in charge or anything.
403
00:15:50,358 --> 00:15:51,491
Walter, wait, wait.
404
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:53,226
Why are you doing this?
405
00:15:53,227 --> 00:15:55,328
It's my job.
406
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:57,330
She was just selling ice cream.
407
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,765
Look.
408
00:15:58,766 --> 00:15:59,999
The law's the law.
409
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,195
And sometimes, the law comes down hard
on innocent nice old ladies.
410
00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,805
Why aren't you stopping him?
411
00:16:04,806 --> 00:16:06,351
I got her the best deal I possibly could.
412
00:16:06,474 --> 00:16:08,508
So he's evil and you're useless.
413
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:10,878
Ugh!
414
00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:16,650
Hey, so I hear it's in the bag.
415
00:16:16,651 --> 00:16:18,052
All right, hey hey.
416
00:16:18,053 --> 00:16:20,156
Hold your horses, all right.
Nothing's in the bag.
417
00:16:20,222 --> 00:16:22,123
- Except booze?
- Yeah.
418
00:16:22,124 --> 00:16:24,929
Well, that should never be in a bag.
Let's go. Pour these out.
419
00:16:25,394 --> 00:16:27,695
I cannot wait to mount Mitch's head.
420
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:29,593
There's a Mitch I'd like to scratch.
421
00:16:29,632 --> 00:16:31,766
Yeah, that was... sorry.
Ohh... oh, that's gross.
422
00:16:31,767 --> 00:16:34,195
Oh, there he is.
423
00:16:34,236 --> 00:16:36,148
Speak of the devil and he appears.
424
00:16:36,150 --> 00:16:38,834
I came to concede your work.
425
00:16:38,835 --> 00:16:40,375
Just read the official tweet.
426
00:16:40,437 --> 00:16:42,971
Wow, well I guess I'm not
a plus-sized model, am I?
427
00:16:42,972 --> 00:16:44,473
I could totally get catalog work.
428
00:16:44,474 --> 00:16:46,507
Actually, I'm conceding to Nina.
429
00:16:46,509 --> 00:16:47,676
Congratulations.
430
00:16:47,744 --> 00:16:49,645
You are the P.D. of the year.
431
00:16:49,646 --> 00:16:52,147
Wait,
I'm P.D. of the year?
432
00:16:52,148 --> 00:16:53,816
I'm P.D of the...
433
00:16:53,817 --> 00:16:56,151
I'm P.D. of the year.
434
00:16:56,153 --> 00:16:58,087
Hey, congrats, huh?
435
00:16:58,088 --> 00:16:59,589
Hmm.
436
00:16:59,590 --> 00:17:02,257
Wow, these are laughably small cups.
437
00:17:02,259 --> 00:17:03,960
I'm going to be in the bar
438
00:17:03,961 --> 00:17:06,196
where they have regular-sized
alcoholic containers.
439
00:17:06,197 --> 00:17:07,764
Cop a Phil.
440
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:08,898
Tough loss.
441
00:17:08,899 --> 00:17:11,101
I remember the first time I lost...
442
00:17:11,102 --> 00:17:13,370
What are you... what?
443
00:17:13,371 --> 00:17:14,571
That was my mother's tie.
444
00:17:14,572 --> 00:17:16,000
There you go.
445
00:17:16,941 --> 00:17:19,143
Phil, I had... I had no... I didn't know.
446
00:17:24,516 --> 00:17:26,554
- Hey, congratulations.
- Oh, thanks.
447
00:17:26,718 --> 00:17:28,519
Well, way to go there, Nino.
448
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,265
Thank you.
449
00:17:30,295 --> 00:17:32,457
Hey, counselor.
450
00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:33,925
- Hey.
- Heard about your win.
451
00:17:33,926 --> 00:17:35,193
Did a good job at the club.
452
00:17:35,194 --> 00:17:36,861
Yeah, a little too good, apparently.
453
00:17:36,862 --> 00:17:38,930
Hey, sometimes it's lonely at the top.
454
00:17:38,931 --> 00:17:41,766
You remember when we crushed
the Hanson's Easter egg hunt?
455
00:17:41,767 --> 00:17:44,202
Yeah, and no one would sit
with us at brunch afterwards.
456
00:17:44,203 --> 00:17:45,882
Yeah, but it felt good
'cause we were winners.
457
00:17:45,884 --> 00:17:48,185
Yeah, we were winners with
85 inedible hard-boiled eggs.
458
00:17:48,187 --> 00:17:49,460
Mmm.
459
00:17:49,608 --> 00:17:51,640
I don't even know how I got in the running
for this stupid thing.
460
00:17:51,677 --> 00:17:53,612
Well, I recommended you.
461
00:17:53,613 --> 00:17:54,913
What?
462
00:17:54,914 --> 00:17:56,314
Why would you do that?
463
00:17:56,315 --> 00:17:58,257
You've done an amazing job here.
464
00:17:58,753 --> 00:18:01,388
Hey, congrats on the award
465
00:18:01,921 --> 00:18:03,960
and on getting over me.
466
00:18:03,962 --> 00:18:05,129
Thank you.
467
00:18:09,730 --> 00:18:10,830
Phil.
468
00:18:10,831 --> 00:18:12,298
Phil, I am so sorry.
469
00:18:12,314 --> 00:18:13,557
I did not know that that was gonna happen.
470
00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:14,659
It's fine.
471
00:18:14,663 --> 00:18:16,096
No, it came out of nowhere.
472
00:18:16,098 --> 00:18:18,072
It was like Pearl Harbor
and I was the harbor.
473
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:19,405
Or no, sorry, I was Japan.
474
00:18:19,405 --> 00:18:21,080
Actually, I think that the award
would probably be Japan.
475
00:18:21,082 --> 00:18:23,775
- Seriously, Nina, it's fine.
- No, it's not fine.
476
00:18:23,777 --> 00:18:25,072
You have every right
to be furious with me.
477
00:18:25,074 --> 00:18:26,927
Yeah, well, I'm not. So, we're fine.
478
00:18:26,929 --> 00:18:28,166
Okay, every time you say you're fine,
479
00:18:28,168 --> 00:18:29,674
you sound less fine.
480
00:18:29,684 --> 00:18:33,320
Listen, Nina, the truth is
it's a meaningless award.
481
00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:34,721
Yeah, that you deserve.
482
00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:37,991
Yeah, well you really put a lot of effort
into making me think that I had a shot.
483
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:41,762
What? No, I didn't mean...
I didn't mean to do that.
484
00:18:41,763 --> 00:18:43,330
- I mean, I did...
- Look, it's my fault, okay?
485
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:44,965
None of this stuff used
to ever matter to me,
486
00:18:44,966 --> 00:18:47,901
but somehow you convinced
me to care and I just,
487
00:18:47,903 --> 00:18:49,503
I shouldn't have fallen for it.
488
00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:50,905
Fallen for what?
489
00:18:50,906 --> 00:18:54,175
Is it so bad to care about something
for once in your life?
490
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:55,236
Stupid!
491
00:18:55,238 --> 00:18:56,142
Idiot!
492
00:18:56,144 --> 00:18:57,211
Failure!
493
00:18:57,246 --> 00:18:58,880
So what? I can end up like that?
494
00:18:58,881 --> 00:19:00,848
Philm Noir.
495
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:02,150
Ninaste.
496
00:19:02,318 --> 00:19:04,619
Oops, just on my way
to the recycling plant.
497
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:08,611
- Eat a dick, Mitch.
- Will do.
498
00:19:09,025 --> 00:19:10,592
Look, I was just trying to help you.
499
00:19:10,593 --> 00:19:12,627
No, you were helping yourself, Nina.
500
00:19:12,628 --> 00:19:14,562
It's never about anybody but you.
501
00:19:14,564 --> 00:19:16,331
You think I did this for me?
502
00:19:16,332 --> 00:19:17,633
I just wanted you to want it.
503
00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:19,369
What am I, some project to you?
504
00:19:19,469 --> 00:19:21,971
You trying to turn me into
your douche bag ex-boyfriend?
505
00:19:21,972 --> 00:19:24,373
Huh? Well, it's not gonna work.
I'm not that guy, okay?
506
00:19:24,374 --> 00:19:25,674
I will never be that guy.
507
00:19:25,675 --> 00:19:26,892
Fine.
508
00:19:26,894 --> 00:19:28,394
Well then, fine.
509
00:19:34,184 --> 00:19:35,689
It's because you're a girl!
510
00:19:35,719 --> 00:19:37,853
You won because you're a girl!
511
00:19:37,855 --> 00:19:41,190
Yeah, 'cause us gals,
we just get it all handed to us.
512
00:19:41,191 --> 00:19:43,463
- Enjoy your reign.
- Okay.
513
00:19:43,465 --> 00:19:45,366
Oh, what a sad man.
514
00:19:52,237 --> 00:19:54,104
Whatever.
515
00:20:08,353 --> 00:20:10,221
Oh, mm-hmm.
516
00:20:10,756 --> 00:20:12,596
Okay.
517
00:20:13,325 --> 00:20:15,627
I knew you'd be back for this beaut.
518
00:20:18,267 --> 00:20:20,939
Maria and I are done.
519
00:20:20,941 --> 00:20:22,008
I'm so sorry.
520
00:20:22,010 --> 00:20:23,603
- Don't be.
- Oh.
521
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:31,401
Hey, Mr. Carlos.
522
00:20:31,402 --> 00:20:33,169
Hey Walt... clippers!
523
00:20:33,170 --> 00:20:34,937
Glen "big baby" Davis.
524
00:20:34,938 --> 00:20:36,955
I'm really not a baby.
I'm a grown-ass man.
525
00:20:36,957 --> 00:20:38,986
This is what a big brother's all about.
526
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:41,957
Just ladies, bentleys,
and shopping sprees.
527
00:20:41,959 --> 00:20:44,744
- You're a big brother.
- Yeah. I love the kids.
528
00:20:44,746 --> 00:20:46,721
Especially this one. He's so cute.
529
00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:48,799
Mc Walt. Show him how you moonwalk.
530
00:20:50,178 --> 00:20:51,712
Moonwalk. Moonwalk.
531
00:20:51,714 --> 00:20:52,781
Isn't that good?
532
00:20:52,783 --> 00:20:53,983
Well, it's...
533
00:20:53,985 --> 00:20:55,285
- Tell him it's great.
- It's great.
534
00:20:55,286 --> 00:20:57,286
sync and correction by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com