1
00:00:01,801 --> 00:00:05,004
Now, I'm thinking that this is probably
a little smaller than your previous place,

2
00:00:05,006 --> 00:00:07,006
but it's still pretty nice.

3
00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:08,641
You know, the landlord's a buddy of mine.

4
00:00:08,643 --> 00:00:10,209
This place isn't even listed.

5
00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:12,144
He's letting us get in early. Take a look.

6
00:00:12,146 --> 00:00:16,048
So, Nina Whitley, welcome to your new home.

7
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:20,286
Huh?

8
00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:22,521
Huh.

9
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,123
Okay.

10
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:27,068
Is there another half?
No, this is the whole thing.

11
00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,310
Okay, um...

12
00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:30,896
You know what, I do like to take a place

13
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:32,498
and make it my own,

14
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:34,266
do some decorating and some futzing.

15
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:36,168
I'm a bit of a futzer.

16
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:39,708
Wow, were the last tenants
who lived here Keebler Elves?

17
00:00:39,710 --> 00:00:40,974
This place is really tiny.

18
00:00:40,976 --> 00:00:42,508
I don't know if I can do it.
I don't think I can do this.

19
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:44,076
I can't, actually.
I can't do this. I can't...

20
00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:45,744
Where would I put my L-shaped couch?

21
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:47,046
Hey, you're a public defender now.

22
00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:48,714
This is a public defender-sized space.

23
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:52,518
You want to live in a murder-free zip
code in this area... this is the size.

24
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,587
Listen, between us, I'd jump on this quick.

25
00:00:54,589 --> 00:00:55,921
It's not gonna be around forever,

26
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:57,489
so what do you say?

27
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,191
Oh, my God.

28
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:00,926
You're getting a commission

29
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:02,628
from your little landlord
buddy friend, aren't you?

30
00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:06,365
What? It's not a game-changing amount.

31
00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:08,467
I mean, it's more I'm doing
a favor for the guy.

32
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,169
It's win-win for everybody.

33
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:11,971
Son of a bitch.

34
00:01:11,973 --> 00:01:14,414
♪ Hey, now ♪

35
00:01:14,415 --> 00:01:17,125
Benched - 01x02
Downsizing

36
00:01:17,127 --> 00:01:19,360
♪ Hey, now ♪

37
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:22,915
All right, boys and girls,

38
00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:24,416
it's that time of the year again.

39
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,952
The time when you shed your
larvae skin, become a butterfly?

40
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:30,122
I'm talking about the Keely
Foundation fundraising gala...

41
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:32,291
Where we beg for money
for this sinking ship,

42
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:34,159
and if you want a job to come back to,

43
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:36,028
you'll schmooze, suck up,

44
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:38,096
and do whatever you have to do
to whore yourselves out, huh?

45
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,765
I'm fine with being a whore.

46
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,134
That's the next thing
on the agenda, Cheryl.

47
00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:45,337
This year, try to keep the drunkenness
down to about a six, huh?

48
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:48,640
And if you do hook up with
a valet again, not in public.

49
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:51,910
In my defense, I thought his car windows

50
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:53,278
were more tinted than they were.

51
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:54,847
And I also need somebody to do

52
00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:57,583
the obligatory thank-you
speech on our behalf.

53
00:01:57,585 --> 00:02:00,185
Anybody? Any takers?
Anyone?

54
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,854
- I'll do it.
- Whatever.

55
00:02:01,856 --> 00:02:03,655
Well, this all sounds super exciting,

56
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,490
and it's gonna literally
kill me to miss it,

57
00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:07,025
but I won't be there.

58
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:09,828
- And why not?
- I have a thing.

59
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:12,030
- Of course you do.
- Oh, boy, a thing?

60
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:13,498
Well, if you must know,

61
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,767
I coach a basketball team of at-risk kids,

62
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,002
and that's the night
of their championship game.

63
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,238
Whatever. I hate kids.

64
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,840
Look, I want the rest of you
to make sure you're there,

65
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:24,109
and make sure you thank
everybody from the foundation

66
00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:26,478
for that goddamn copier
that they gave us, okay?

67
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,513
Okay? I can't hear your heads rattling.

68
00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:31,483
Yes, yes, okay.

69
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,586
- Wow, you are good.
- Good at what?

70
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,054
What is it really?
You can tell me. I get it.

71
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:37,556
I mean, this thing sounds like a nightmare.

72
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:38,824
What? No, no.

73
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:41,793
I love hanging around with a bunch
of jagbag lawyers watching them mingle

74
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:43,195
and grease each other up like seals.

75
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:45,163
Jagbags, which are...

76
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,966
That's what you get when you
combine jag-off corporate lawyers

77
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,835
and douche bag corporate lawyers...

78
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,270
Jagbag.

79
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:53,672
How many jagbags are gonna be there?

80
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,208
Let's see. All of them.

81
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:58,143
- All... all of them?
- Yeah, every firm.

82
00:02:58,145 --> 00:02:59,711
They send their best jagbags,

83
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:01,213
and it's like a Harry Potter convention,

84
00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,781
except instead of nerds in robes,

85
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,583
it's jagbags in suits.

86
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:07,219
Well, I think this girl needs to get her

87
00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:08,921
Potter wand broom thingy

88
00:03:08,923 --> 00:03:12,591
and get ready to fight
some wizard zombies in glasses.

89
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:15,958
I've never seen the movie.

90
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,763
So now you want to do the speech?

91
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,064
Sure, I think I'd be good at it,

92
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:20,599
and I get the value of saying thanks

93
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:23,013
to all the people who help us,
you know, the little people.

94
00:03:23,013 --> 00:03:24,613
Bulldick, you just want to show off

95
00:03:24,615 --> 00:03:25,914
in front of these people,
so that you can weasel

96
00:03:25,916 --> 00:03:27,616
your way back into money law.

97
00:03:27,618 --> 00:03:29,084
Maybe. I have needs.

98
00:03:29,086 --> 00:03:30,819
My... my skin has needs, okay?

99
00:03:30,821 --> 00:03:32,521
I have a very complicated t-zone,

100
00:03:32,523 --> 00:03:34,122
and there isn't any
one product that can tame it.

101
00:03:34,124 --> 00:03:35,858
Look, these are my people.

102
00:03:35,860 --> 00:03:39,394
I speak fluent jagbag, all right?

103
00:03:39,396 --> 00:03:41,029
So just let me do this.

104
00:03:41,031 --> 00:03:42,865
- I'd be... I'd be...
- Fine, whatever.

105
00:03:42,867 --> 00:03:44,299
I really don't give a sh...

106
00:03:44,301 --> 00:03:46,001
Just go back to doing lawyer things, huh?

107
00:03:46,003 --> 00:03:48,203
You're not gonna regret this.
Thank you so much.

108
00:03:48,205 --> 00:03:50,372
I... yeah.

109
00:03:52,408 --> 00:03:55,344
Okay, uh, Whispers.

110
00:03:55,346 --> 00:03:57,145
- Hmm.
- That's your real name.

111
00:03:57,147 --> 00:03:59,514
All right, you're off on probation
and a fine for soliciting.

112
00:03:59,516 --> 00:04:01,483
- Oh.
- A little advice.

113
00:04:01,485 --> 00:04:02,651
You seem like a smart girl.

114
00:04:02,653 --> 00:04:04,686
You can do better than this.

115
00:04:04,688 --> 00:04:06,121
You're right.

116
00:04:06,123 --> 00:04:09,925
It's time for me to take that step up,
even though change can be so hard.

117
00:04:09,927 --> 00:04:10,896
Oh, God, I hear you.

118
00:04:10,898 --> 00:04:13,028
You should see this hovel
I might have to move into.

119
00:04:13,030 --> 00:04:15,898
Hey, Nina, I've been meaning to ask.

120
00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:16,965
Okay.

121
00:04:16,967 --> 00:04:19,768
How do I get a Trent?

122
00:04:19,770 --> 00:04:21,169
A what?

123
00:04:21,171 --> 00:04:22,204
A Trent.

124
00:04:22,206 --> 00:04:25,340
Handsome, successful.

125
00:04:25,342 --> 00:04:26,975
It's been a ragged year on the man front,

126
00:04:26,977 --> 00:04:29,011
and I usually don't even get
a good look at them

127
00:04:29,013 --> 00:04:30,245
until the next day,

128
00:04:30,247 --> 00:04:31,647
and then by then, you know,

129
00:04:31,649 --> 00:04:33,582
teeth in the glass, wig on the floor.

130
00:04:33,584 --> 00:04:35,117
Right.

131
00:04:35,119 --> 00:04:37,219
You got a Trent. How did you do it?

132
00:04:37,221 --> 00:04:38,854
You realize he dumped me, right?

133
00:04:38,856 --> 00:04:41,223
Okay, but pre-dumped Nina...

134
00:04:41,225 --> 00:04:43,458
What would she have done?

135
00:04:43,460 --> 00:04:44,760
This fundraiser is coming up,

136
00:04:44,762 --> 00:04:46,395
and it's my best chance

137
00:04:46,397 --> 00:04:48,864
to meet a fancy guy like
the kind you used to get.

138
00:04:48,866 --> 00:04:50,532
Well, it's actually not that hard, Cheryl.

139
00:04:50,534 --> 00:04:52,768
You just... you find something you want,

140
00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:54,870
whether it be a job or a guy like Trent

141
00:04:54,872 --> 00:04:58,173
who wears a suit so tailored

142
00:04:58,175 --> 00:04:59,608
it makes you derail every single

143
00:04:59,610 --> 00:05:01,543
one of your dreams...

144
00:05:01,545 --> 00:05:02,945
And then you focus.

145
00:05:02,947 --> 00:05:05,347
You focus on that voice
inside of you that says,

146
00:05:05,349 --> 00:05:06,915
"that's mine."

147
00:05:06,917 --> 00:05:08,684
And nothing else should matter.

148
00:05:08,686 --> 00:05:12,120
What about the voice that
says, "you deserve nothing"?

149
00:05:12,122 --> 00:05:14,489
- Is that a voice?
- You don't hear it?

150
00:05:14,491 --> 00:05:16,625
No.

151
00:05:16,627 --> 00:05:18,293
They said no.

152
00:05:18,295 --> 00:05:20,228
No? What do you...

153
00:05:20,230 --> 00:05:21,403
Wait, what do you mean they said no?

154
00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:23,935
- They didn't approve you to give the speech.
- Not approving?

155
00:05:23,937 --> 00:05:25,534
"They"? Who's "they"?

156
00:05:25,536 --> 00:05:27,336
The head of the events committee,
Debbie Mathersons.

157
00:05:27,338 --> 00:05:29,338
From Schuster Alexander?

158
00:05:29,340 --> 00:05:31,740
Sh... Debbie... my old firm.

159
00:05:31,742 --> 00:05:34,209
Ah, now it makes sense.

160
00:05:34,211 --> 00:05:35,877
At first I thought who the hell cares

161
00:05:35,879 --> 00:05:37,212
about some dumb speech?

162
00:05:37,214 --> 00:05:38,747
Did you think they'd forget

163
00:05:38,749 --> 00:05:40,382
your complete mental collapse in the lobby

164
00:05:40,384 --> 00:05:42,584
after smashing a million-dollar
vase from Eddie Rabbitt?

165
00:05:42,586 --> 00:05:44,519
Elton John. Eddie Rabbitt?

166
00:05:44,521 --> 00:05:45,849
What the hell is wrong with you?

167
00:05:45,851 --> 00:05:49,424
I love the rainy night, you and I,
Juice Newton... don't you get out?

168
00:05:49,426 --> 00:05:51,360
Yeah, but not a lot since 1970.

169
00:05:51,362 --> 00:05:53,428
Look, I'm better now.

170
00:05:53,430 --> 00:05:55,063
Can't you call her and tell her
that I'm a new person?

171
00:05:55,065 --> 00:05:56,765
- Yeah.
- You're not gonna call her.

172
00:05:56,767 --> 00:05:58,633
- No.
- Bye, Burt.

173
00:05:58,635 --> 00:06:00,268
Bye, angry lady.

174
00:06:00,270 --> 00:06:02,037
And please, thank Debbie again

175
00:06:02,039 --> 00:06:03,572
for taking this meeting.

176
00:06:03,574 --> 00:06:04,840
Yeah, I'll def...
I will definitely be there.

177
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:05,907
Thank you, thank you.

178
00:06:05,909 --> 00:06:07,042
Okay, bye.

179
00:06:07,044 --> 00:06:08,076
Yes.

180
00:06:08,078 --> 00:06:11,346
Wow. You want it that bad?

181
00:06:11,348 --> 00:06:13,115
You will literally grovel to the woman

182
00:06:13,117 --> 00:06:14,549
that got the promotion you deserved...

183
00:06:14,551 --> 00:06:16,018
By sleeping with the boss.

184
00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:17,719
And that's not deeply humiliating?

185
00:06:17,721 --> 00:06:19,121
Do you know what's deeply humiliating...

186
00:06:19,123 --> 00:06:21,056
Is having a client pee in your purse

187
00:06:21,058 --> 00:06:23,458
while the judge laughs
at your bail request.

188
00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:24,726
I belong in corporate law...

189
00:06:24,728 --> 00:06:26,661
- Oh.
- Among nice things.

190
00:06:26,663 --> 00:06:29,197
No, you don't get up on your medium horse,

191
00:06:29,199 --> 00:06:32,034
Mr. "I have to skip
the fundraiser for a thing."

192
00:06:32,036 --> 00:06:33,902
Quick, how many boys you coach?

193
00:06:33,904 --> 00:06:35,919
Trick question. We got a girl.
She's got the best jump shot.

194
00:06:35,921 --> 00:06:37,825
- Oh, yeah, what's her name?
- Melinda.

195
00:06:37,827 --> 00:06:43,578
- What's your center's name?
- Marnold Estefan... Evez.

196
00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:46,581
Shame on you.

197
00:06:52,221 --> 00:06:53,555
Oh, you're new.

198
00:06:53,557 --> 00:06:57,392
Hi, Nina Whitley for Debbie Mathersons.

199
00:06:58,461 --> 00:06:59,828
Miss Mathersons?

200
00:06:59,830 --> 00:07:01,263
Uh, miss Whitley is here to see you.

201
00:07:16,179 --> 00:07:19,414
- Nina.
- Hey, Debbie.

202
00:07:19,416 --> 00:07:20,849
How you doing?
This is not what it looks like.

203
00:07:20,851 --> 00:07:22,017
That you broke a table

204
00:07:22,019 --> 00:07:23,685
and almost another expensive vase?

205
00:07:23,687 --> 00:07:27,055
Oh, okay, then it is what it looks like.

206
00:07:27,765 --> 00:07:28,724
Oh, wow.

207
00:07:28,726 --> 00:07:31,300
It looks much bigger than
it did on my vision board.

208
00:07:31,302 --> 00:07:32,253
Please excuse the mess.

209
00:07:32,255 --> 00:07:34,203
I've been going back
and forth with my decorator.

210
00:07:34,205 --> 00:07:35,871
My life is a series of Chenille Swatches.

211
00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:37,640
Mine too.

212
00:07:37,642 --> 00:07:39,742
Wow, is that the new Hermes?

213
00:07:39,744 --> 00:07:41,994
- It is.
- Can I touch it?

214
00:07:42,013 --> 00:07:43,612
- I wish you wouldn't.
- Okay.

215
00:07:43,614 --> 00:07:45,247
Yeah, that was weird.
I see how that was weird.

216
00:07:45,249 --> 00:07:48,050
Listen, Debbie, I just wanted
to come and tell you

217
00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:50,820
that I understand why you didn't want
to approve me for the speech.

218
00:07:50,822 --> 00:07:52,054
Listen, Nina, you really
don't have to do this.

219
00:07:52,056 --> 00:07:53,088
No, I do.

220
00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:54,523
I mean, after the way I acted,

221
00:07:54,525 --> 00:07:55,691
look, I probably
would've turned me down too.

222
00:07:55,693 --> 00:07:57,860
I was in a very stressful place,

223
00:07:57,862 --> 00:08:02,064
and you... you won that
partnership fair and square.

224
00:08:02,066 --> 00:08:03,999
Listen, I know you think
I was sleeping with Winston.

225
00:08:04,001 --> 00:08:05,634
What? No.

226
00:08:05,636 --> 00:08:07,140
If I implied that, no.

227
00:08:07,142 --> 00:08:09,538
Oh, he wanted to, big time.

228
00:08:09,540 --> 00:08:12,140
He texted me words
and pictures to that effect,

229
00:08:12,142 --> 00:08:14,209
so I blackmailed him.

230
00:08:14,211 --> 00:08:17,579
Like, blackmail-blackmail?

231
00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:20,716
Like blackmail. It works.

232
00:08:20,718 --> 00:08:21,883
Whatever it takes, right?

233
00:08:21,885 --> 00:08:24,753
Yeah.

234
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,688
Oh, God, Debbie,

235
00:08:26,690 --> 00:08:28,657
I want back in so bad,
I can taste it in my mouth.

236
00:08:28,659 --> 00:08:31,293
I can feel it in my bones,
and a little bit down there,

237
00:08:31,295 --> 00:08:33,028
okay, and this speech is my ticket

238
00:08:33,030 --> 00:08:35,530
to any job with an office and a chair

239
00:08:35,532 --> 00:08:37,165
with a lever that makes it go up and down

240
00:08:37,167 --> 00:08:41,003
and makes that...  Noise.

241
00:08:41,005 --> 00:08:43,338
And if you let me back in the game,

242
00:08:43,340 --> 00:08:45,374
you've got a lawyer
who owes you a huge favor.

243
00:08:45,376 --> 00:08:50,412
So you do me a solid,
down the road... sisters.

244
00:08:50,414 --> 00:08:54,316
I like that. Like, when one
sister owns the other sister.

245
00:08:55,583 --> 00:08:57,041
Yeah.

246
00:08:59,422 --> 00:09:01,123
I got the speech.

247
00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:03,392
I nailed it. I am back.

248
00:09:03,394 --> 00:09:05,494
Still got it, bitches.

249
00:09:05,496 --> 00:09:06,695
- You actually did it?
- Yup.

250
00:09:06,697 --> 00:09:08,196
I'm impressed with your balls.

251
00:09:08,198 --> 00:09:09,564
Well, if you were coming to the fundraiser,

252
00:09:09,566 --> 00:09:11,066
you'd get to see them in a dress

253
00:09:11,068 --> 00:09:12,801
because I'm gonna be
all cleavage and balls.

254
00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:14,770
Wait, why is she giving the speech?

255
00:09:14,772 --> 00:09:17,005
- She begged.
- But I raised my hand.

256
00:09:17,007 --> 00:09:18,740
Yeah, listlessly.

257
00:09:18,742 --> 00:09:20,575
I mean, I didn't know you were
actually interested.

258
00:09:20,577 --> 00:09:22,544
Here.

259
00:09:22,546 --> 00:09:24,613
Fact... by the year 2045,

260
00:09:24,615 --> 00:09:27,416
over 90% of American babies
will be born in prison.

261
00:09:27,418 --> 00:09:29,184
What the hell? That's not a fact.

262
00:09:29,186 --> 00:09:31,386
It's my own projections.
It's a first draft.

263
00:09:31,388 --> 00:09:32,788
You can't insult these people.

264
00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:34,723
Who give a sh... about those people?

265
00:09:34,725 --> 00:09:36,391
It's our night, the public defenders.

266
00:09:36,393 --> 00:09:37,659
We get to say and do what we want.

267
00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:39,361
He actually makes a great point.

268
00:09:39,363 --> 00:09:41,263
You get free booze.
You're getting free shrimp.

269
00:09:41,265 --> 00:09:43,298
Quit while you're ahead.
That's also a great point.

270
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:46,802
Nina is doing the speech, end of story.

271
00:09:49,205 --> 00:09:51,373
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's give a warm welcome

272
00:09:51,375 --> 00:09:52,908
to the hardest working P.D. in...

273
00:09:52,910 --> 00:09:55,777
No, no, no. I'm not working on cases.
I'm working on my speech.

274
00:09:55,779 --> 00:09:57,546
Oh, the speech that's
gonna save Nina Whitley

275
00:09:57,548 --> 00:09:59,815
from the indignity of living
in a normal-sized apartment.

276
00:09:59,817 --> 00:10:02,284
Almost sad I'm gonna miss it.

277
00:10:02,286 --> 00:10:04,252
Oh, but of course, you've got

278
00:10:04,254 --> 00:10:08,790
those little boys, Melinda,
and Marnold Estefan Evez

279
00:10:08,792 --> 00:10:10,992
in their tattered uniforms

280
00:10:10,994 --> 00:10:12,727
and their little toes poking out

281
00:10:12,729 --> 00:10:14,162
of their mismatched shoes.

282
00:10:14,164 --> 00:10:17,165
No, actually, I got a bail bonds place
to sponsor some sweet new uniforms.

283
00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:18,600
Okay, you're just doing bad news bears now.

284
00:10:18,602 --> 00:10:20,001
Let's drop it.

285
00:10:20,003 --> 00:10:21,269
Okay, well, I just came to get my bag.

286
00:10:21,271 --> 00:10:22,938
Good luck with the speech.

287
00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:24,339
Wait, can I ask you your honest opinion?

288
00:10:24,341 --> 00:10:25,540
- Sure.
- Okay.

289
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,109
This is for my opening.

290
00:10:27,111 --> 00:10:30,045
I always thought my success
would be meaningful.

291
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:32,447
Was it meaningful when I got
my fulbright scholarship

292
00:10:32,449 --> 00:10:34,382
or when I was profiled in
the online version

293
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:38,186
of New York Magazine's
30 under 30 power players?

294
00:10:38,188 --> 00:10:40,422
Are you gonna mention the part where
you sold the most girl scout cookies?

295
00:10:40,424 --> 00:10:41,990
I did.

296
00:10:41,992 --> 00:10:43,325
How did you know that?

297
00:10:43,327 --> 00:10:44,926
- It's a wild guess.
- Get this.

298
00:10:44,928 --> 00:10:46,795
I traded Brenda Clinger

299
00:10:46,797 --> 00:10:48,697
all my shortbreads for all of her samoas.

300
00:10:48,699 --> 00:10:52,200
I mean, why would she do that?
It's all about the samoas.

301
00:10:52,202 --> 00:10:53,568
She was so screwed.

302
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,704
Oh, my God, she cried, and she cried,

303
00:10:55,706 --> 00:10:56,972
and she cried,

304
00:10:56,974 --> 00:10:58,507
and then she got her period.

305
00:10:58,509 --> 00:11:01,343
God, I loved the girl scouts.

306
00:11:01,345 --> 00:11:03,678
You do belong in that world.

307
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:05,680
You deserve it.

308
00:11:05,682 --> 00:11:06,715
Thank you.

309
00:11:06,717 --> 00:11:07,849
Mm.

310
00:11:07,851 --> 00:11:09,885
That's so sweet.

311
00:11:09,887 --> 00:11:11,653
Wait...

312
00:11:11,655 --> 00:11:13,054
That was a compliment, right?

313
00:11:13,056 --> 00:11:16,057
Goodnight, Whitley.

314
00:11:20,497 --> 00:11:26,067
Look at all this, like pigs to a trough.

315
00:11:26,069 --> 00:11:27,502
These people are disgusting.

316
00:11:27,504 --> 00:11:29,104
What do you call what you're doing?

317
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,739
I'm eating crab cakes. They're perishable.

318
00:11:30,741 --> 00:11:32,774
So we can't give them to the poor people.

319
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,176
They got crab cakes?

320
00:11:34,178 --> 00:11:35,644
Who do you got to blow around here

321
00:11:35,646 --> 00:11:36,778
to get a crab cake?

322
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,446
I think that'd be me.

323
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:39,948
Whoa.

324
00:11:41,752 --> 00:11:43,685
Nina, you look amazeballs.

325
00:11:43,687 --> 00:11:45,187
Thank you, Cheryl. So do you.

326
00:11:45,189 --> 00:11:47,722
I love that dress. It's very sophisticated.

327
00:11:47,724 --> 00:11:49,591
That's what I was going for.

328
00:11:49,593 --> 00:11:51,593
Spanx.

329
00:11:51,595 --> 00:11:53,261
No panties.

330
00:11:53,263 --> 00:11:55,630
Day-to-night.

331
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:58,366
Look at you, Nina, just so lovely.

332
00:11:58,368 --> 00:12:02,204
You look so sturdy in that gown.

333
00:12:02,206 --> 00:12:03,605
Thank you.

334
00:12:03,607 --> 00:12:04,606
I've always admired women

335
00:12:04,608 --> 00:12:06,241
with diminutive bust lines

336
00:12:06,243 --> 00:12:07,275
who aren't afraid
to feature their shoulders.

337
00:12:07,277 --> 00:12:08,677
Right.

338
00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:09,878
There are people you should meet here.

339
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,780
Are you ready to work the room?

340
00:12:11,782 --> 00:12:12,914
Work the roo... yes.

341
00:12:12,916 --> 00:12:14,282
Thank you so much, Debbie.

342
00:12:14,284 --> 00:12:18,386
Oh, don't thank me, just owe me.

343
00:12:18,388 --> 00:12:20,455
Thanks for the copier.

344
00:12:20,457 --> 00:12:22,057
Nina Whitley, I'd like you to meet

345
00:12:22,059 --> 00:12:23,792
Maria Keely of the Keely Foundation.

346
00:12:23,794 --> 00:12:25,727
I can't believe we're
finally getting to meet.

347
00:12:25,729 --> 00:12:27,796
I have heard so much about you.

348
00:12:27,798 --> 00:12:31,333
Oh, that has all been
so widely exaggerated.

349
00:12:31,335 --> 00:12:33,301
It was actually a very small vase.

350
00:12:33,303 --> 00:12:34,502
It slipped right out of my hands.

351
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:36,338
Nope. Nope.

352
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:37,405
But that's not even
what you're talking about.

353
00:12:37,407 --> 00:12:39,140
I know who you are, Maria.

354
00:12:39,142 --> 00:12:40,809
Your name's on the ice
sculpture by the shrimp,

355
00:12:40,811 --> 00:12:42,911
and your hair is amazing.

356
00:12:42,913 --> 00:12:45,347
It's so shiny, and you look
like you're airbrushed.

357
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:47,048
Is that a weird thing to say to somebody?

358
00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:48,817
Only if you say it out loud.

359
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,320
Isn't she hilarious? I find her fun.

360
00:12:52,322 --> 00:12:53,955
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

361
00:12:53,957 --> 00:12:55,490
Well, I can't wait
to hear your speech, Nina?

362
00:12:55,492 --> 00:12:57,492
- Great.
- Congresswoman Phelps.

363
00:12:57,494 --> 00:12:58,760
- Excuse me, ladies.
- Oh, yes, yes.

364
00:12:58,762 --> 00:13:00,295
Off you go.

365
00:13:00,297 --> 00:13:02,130
Thank you so much, Debbie.

366
00:13:02,132 --> 00:13:04,799
- Thank you so much.
- Do not screw up that speech, hmm?

367
00:13:04,801 --> 00:13:06,649
Uh-huh.

368
00:13:10,973 --> 00:13:12,607
- Hey, there.
- Oh.

369
00:13:12,609 --> 00:13:14,943
- How you doing tonight?
- Oh, I'm better now.

370
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,179
I'm Cheryl.

371
00:13:18,181 --> 00:13:21,249
- And you are?
- Rich.

372
00:13:21,251 --> 00:13:24,016
Well, of course you are.

373
00:13:26,290 --> 00:13:29,991
I thought success...
No, I thought real success.

374
00:13:29,993 --> 00:13:31,493
Okay, focus.

375
00:13:31,495 --> 00:13:34,516
Focus. Just focus.

376
00:13:36,304 --> 00:13:40,172
I thought...

377
00:13:40,174 --> 00:13:42,704
Oh, my God, there was no game.

378
00:13:42,706 --> 00:13:44,306
You came here for me.

379
00:13:44,308 --> 00:13:46,341
You like me.

380
00:13:46,343 --> 00:13:47,976
- Oh, there was a game.
- Okay.

381
00:13:47,978 --> 00:13:49,244
It ended early.

382
00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:50,612
You go up by 20, they call it.

383
00:13:50,614 --> 00:13:52,013
Okay, so a half hour ago,

384
00:13:52,015 --> 00:13:54,282
you were all sweaty in your tube socks
and your old whistle thingy,

385
00:13:54,284 --> 00:13:55,717
and now, you're here with the hair

386
00:13:55,719 --> 00:13:59,587
and the woodsy spice smell

387
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,823
and jawline-y thing,

388
00:14:01,825 --> 00:14:04,492
and... right. Right, right, right, okay.

389
00:14:04,494 --> 00:14:06,961
Look at you, doing good. Schmoozing, huh?

390
00:14:06,963 --> 00:14:08,663
Oh, you saw that?

391
00:14:08,665 --> 00:14:10,732
Yeah, that was Maria Keely
of the Keely Foundation.

392
00:14:10,734 --> 00:14:12,167
She loved me. She knows everyone.

393
00:14:12,169 --> 00:14:15,036
Phil, if I nail this speech,
I am so back in.

394
00:14:15,038 --> 00:14:17,505
I mean, I'm gonna be unstoppable.

395
00:14:17,507 --> 00:14:18,506
Trent.

396
00:14:18,508 --> 00:14:21,042
Nina, hi.

397
00:14:21,044 --> 00:14:22,210
Hey.

398
00:14:22,212 --> 00:14:25,714
- Wow, you look amazing.
- Oh.

399
00:14:25,716 --> 00:14:27,215
Phil, you're looking pretty good.

400
00:14:27,217 --> 00:14:28,817
Oh, thank you. I look
better than her though,

401
00:14:28,819 --> 00:14:29,918
- right?
- I don't know.

402
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:31,519
It's close.

403
00:14:31,521 --> 00:14:34,589
Why are you here?
This is a public defender thing.

404
00:14:34,591 --> 00:14:36,958
No, relax. I'm just here as a plus one.

405
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,260
Plus one? Like, plus one what?

406
00:14:39,262 --> 00:14:41,396
- Hey, peanut butter pie.
- Hey.

407
00:14:41,398 --> 00:14:43,531
- Oh, you made it.
- Yeah.

408
00:14:43,533 --> 00:14:45,867
Nina, this is Maria.

409
00:14:45,869 --> 00:14:47,035
Oh, we met.

410
00:14:47,037 --> 00:14:50,271
Maria, Maria.

411
00:14:50,273 --> 00:14:51,773
You know what, I got to go see

412
00:14:51,775 --> 00:14:55,744
a man about a... something's burning, so...

413
00:14:55,746 --> 00:14:58,113
She okay?

414
00:14:58,115 --> 00:14:59,814
I don't know, but I think she just went

415
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,117
- into the men's bathroom.
- Oh, my bad!

416
00:15:02,119 --> 00:15:03,785
Oh, there she is. She figured it out.

417
00:15:04,179 --> 00:15:05,546
Trent's fiancee is Maria.

418
00:15:05,548 --> 00:15:10,216
Rich, perfect, beautiful, rich Maria.

419
00:15:10,218 --> 00:15:11,918
- You said "rich" twice.
- Yeah.

420
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,553
And apparently, I just
walked into a men's room,

421
00:15:13,555 --> 00:15:15,321
and saw a dozen old-man penises.

422
00:15:15,323 --> 00:15:18,224
You had no idea that
that was Trent's fiancee?

423
00:15:18,226 --> 00:15:20,193
I took great pains to not know

424
00:15:20,195 --> 00:15:21,961
because I knew this would happen,

425
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:24,931
and now it's happening
at the worst possible time.

426
00:15:24,933 --> 00:15:26,966
I mean, the woman has no pores, okay?

427
00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:29,798
And this morning, I had an ear zit.

428
00:15:31,587 --> 00:15:33,973
There's a certain irony
that I'm the one doing this,

429
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,241
but here goes.

430
00:15:35,243 --> 00:15:36,943
It's like I tell my team of boys.

431
00:15:36,945 --> 00:15:39,048
- Oh, my God, I thought there was one girl.
- Yeah, that's right.

432
00:15:39,050 --> 00:15:41,581
You got to get yourself
in a winning head space.

433
00:15:41,583 --> 00:15:43,116
You keep focused.

434
00:15:43,118 --> 00:15:44,851
You keep it together,
and you make that speech.

435
00:15:44,853 --> 00:15:47,820
All right, can we not use your fictional
orphan children as an example?

436
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,223
Okay, how about we try this one?

437
00:15:50,225 --> 00:15:52,251
You're prepared. Hmm?

438
00:15:52,253 --> 00:15:55,328
You are smarter
than ten Marias put together.

439
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,530
Yeah.

440
00:15:59,067 --> 00:16:02,001
I mean, she didn't seem
that smart, did she?

441
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,402
- Pshh.
- Yeah, no, I got this.

442
00:16:03,404 --> 00:16:06,005
I can do this.

443
00:16:08,276 --> 00:16:10,243
Good evening.

444
00:16:10,245 --> 00:16:12,044
First, I'd like to thank everybody

445
00:16:12,046 --> 00:16:14,247
who helped out with
this wonderful event tonight.

446
00:16:14,249 --> 00:16:17,517
A special thanks to my fiance Trent.

447
00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:21,287
It was only last spring we met
at the Colon Cancer Art Walk,

448
00:16:21,289 --> 00:16:24,524
but I can't imagine
how I survived without you,

449
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,993
but we are here to raise money

450
00:16:26,995 --> 00:16:29,629
for our brave Los Angeles
county public defenders.

451
00:16:29,631 --> 00:16:31,964
So if you would join me in welcoming

452
00:16:31,966 --> 00:16:35,935
one of it's newest shining
stars, Nina Whitley.

453
00:16:40,675 --> 00:16:43,709
Thank you, Maria,
for a lovely introduction.

454
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:52,885
Was it meaningful when I got
my fulbright scholarship?

455
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:55,521
Yes, but none of that compares

456
00:16:55,523 --> 00:16:57,957
to the work I do here

457
00:16:57,959 --> 00:17:01,961
day in and day, um...

458
00:17:01,963 --> 00:17:03,296
The Colon Walk?

459
00:17:03,298 --> 00:17:04,797
Huh.

460
00:17:04,799 --> 00:17:07,667
Anyway, I was profiled in the...

461
00:17:07,669 --> 00:17:09,669
I'm just... I'm doing the math.

462
00:17:09,671 --> 00:17:13,773
And we were still toge...

463
00:17:16,043 --> 00:17:18,711
Nevermind.

464
00:17:18,713 --> 00:17:21,214
Okay, I swear... I swear I rehearsed this.

465
00:17:21,216 --> 00:17:22,248
I did.

466
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,617
Okay.

467
00:17:24,619 --> 00:17:27,053
It was very meaningful

468
00:17:27,055 --> 00:17:29,655
when I got my ful-brat scholar-shimp...

469
00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:31,691
Ooh, my what?

470
00:17:31,693 --> 00:17:33,392
My what?

471
00:17:33,394 --> 00:17:36,762
Fulbright scholar-shimp.

472
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,898
Ship. Shimp.

473
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:42,602
Ship. Sh... sh... s-man-ship.

474
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:44,003
Oh, wow.

475
00:17:44,005 --> 00:17:46,239
This is... this is not going my way, is it?

476
00:17:46,241 --> 00:17:48,107
No.

477
00:17:49,477 --> 00:17:51,444
You know, I really thought that if I,

478
00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:53,079
you know, dazzled you
tonight with this speech,

479
00:17:53,081 --> 00:17:54,447
that you'd let me back into money law,

480
00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:56,949
but well, that was a stupid plan, right?

481
00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:57,950
I mean, that was ridiculous.

482
00:17:57,952 --> 00:17:59,819
That was a ridiculous plan.

483
00:17:59,821 --> 00:18:00,920
- What the hell is she doing?
- Oh, don't worry about it.

484
00:18:00,922 --> 00:18:02,321
She's doing terrific.

485
00:18:02,323 --> 00:18:03,356
I mean, I do. I want the money.

486
00:18:03,358 --> 00:18:04,390
I want the money part of it

487
00:18:04,392 --> 00:18:05,625
because that new Hermes bag,

488
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:07,260
I want to cradle it to my bosom,

489
00:18:07,262 --> 00:18:08,561
and I want to sing it
sweet lullabies all night,

490
00:18:08,563 --> 00:18:10,263
but I won't be able to do that

491
00:18:10,265 --> 00:18:15,601
because I have clearly screwed
the pooch here, again.

492
00:18:15,603 --> 00:18:17,136
I guess I haven't really learned anything.

493
00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:19,405
Except, you know what,
I have learned one thing.

494
00:18:19,407 --> 00:18:22,375
I've learned that being poor is a crime,

495
00:18:22,377 --> 00:18:23,776
'cause that's who I defend now.

496
00:18:23,778 --> 00:18:26,612
The Mexican kid that experiments with drugs

497
00:18:26,614 --> 00:18:28,147
and then gets deported.

498
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,482
But when your kid experiments with drugs,

499
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,417
that's called college.

500
00:18:31,419 --> 00:18:33,319
Now I'm up here begging you for money

501
00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:35,488
because they slashed our budget again.

502
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,523
Now, I'm... you back off, dream crusher.

503
00:18:38,959 --> 00:18:40,459
I am not a jagbag.

504
00:18:40,461 --> 00:18:42,928
I am a public defender.

505
00:18:42,930 --> 00:18:43,963
Oh. Mm.

506
00:18:43,965 --> 00:18:45,898
Oh, wow.

507
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:50,670
I've never... I've never said that out loud.

508
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,673
All right, so play the music.

509
00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:55,141
Hit it. Play me off.

510
00:18:56,577 --> 00:18:59,412
All right, that's close enough.

511
00:18:59,414 --> 00:19:02,014
Oh, and you know what, thank you so much

512
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:03,783
for the outdated copier.

513
00:19:03,785 --> 00:19:07,920
We love unjamming that piece
of crap every five seconds.

514
00:19:19,566 --> 00:19:21,167
I got to say, I like that speech

515
00:19:21,169 --> 00:19:24,003
a whole lot better
than the one you rehearsed.

516
00:19:24,005 --> 00:19:25,137
Thank you.

517
00:19:25,139 --> 00:19:26,472
That's very sweet.

518
00:19:26,474 --> 00:19:27,473
And thank you for the drink.

519
00:19:27,475 --> 00:19:28,541
Boy, I need that.

520
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:29,842
No, these are both for me.

521
00:19:29,844 --> 00:19:33,479
Oh. Thank you.

522
00:19:33,481 --> 00:19:35,815
Nina, I have to thank you for everything

523
00:19:35,817 --> 00:19:37,149
you said up there.

524
00:19:37,151 --> 00:19:38,718
You do not have to thank me.

525
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,553
Oh, but I do.

526
00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:41,821
It looks like I'm a lock
for next year's speech.

527
00:19:41,823 --> 00:19:43,389
Okay, okay, all right.

528
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:44,890
How'd the speech go?

529
00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:49,095
- Oh, not so great.
- Aw.

530
00:19:49,097 --> 00:19:50,930
But hey, hey, what are you doing here?

531
00:19:50,932 --> 00:19:53,499
I thought you were with
Mr. Rich Chivalrous lawyer.

532
00:19:53,501 --> 00:19:56,402
He's a waiter.

533
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,371
His name is Rich, and he kept saying,

534
00:19:58,373 --> 00:19:59,839
"oh, would you like another?"

535
00:19:59,841 --> 00:20:01,374
And I thought he was trying
to loosen me up,

536
00:20:01,376 --> 00:20:03,743
but then it turns out
he was just doing his job.

537
00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:05,745
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.

538
00:20:05,747 --> 00:20:07,213
You know what, you'll get
him next time, Cheryl.

539
00:20:07,215 --> 00:20:08,347
- Will she?
- Okay.

540
00:20:08,349 --> 00:20:10,583
Yes, she will.

541
00:20:12,285 --> 00:20:14,186
You know, if my speech had
gone a little bit better,

542
00:20:14,188 --> 00:20:17,189
you guys might've lost me.

543
00:20:17,191 --> 00:20:20,459
It was so close. You would've been sad.

544
00:20:20,461 --> 00:20:23,462
I don't know that it was ever that close.

545
00:20:34,479 --> 00:20:36,046
Hey, kid.

546
00:20:36,048 --> 00:20:38,181
Little housewarming gift.

547
00:20:38,183 --> 00:20:41,622
Wha... I love it.

548
00:20:41,624 --> 00:20:42,690
Thank you.

549
00:20:42,692 --> 00:20:45,154
It's actually mine, so I'm gonna
need that back at some point.

550
00:20:45,156 --> 00:20:46,422
That makes more sense.

551
00:20:46,424 --> 00:20:47,857
Man, this place really is tiny.

552
00:20:47,859 --> 00:20:49,893
Okay.

553
00:20:49,895 --> 00:20:51,794
There you are. Good.
A little hustle.

554
00:20:51,796 --> 00:20:54,197
Melinda, Chop Chop. Diego.

555
00:20:54,199 --> 00:20:57,600
Up, Marnold, Nina.

556
00:20:57,602 --> 00:20:59,869
Nina, Marnold.

557
00:20:59,871 --> 00:21:02,272
Go help.

558
00:21:02,274 --> 00:21:04,874
I bet you feel like
a giant asshole right now.

559
00:21:04,876 --> 00:21:06,542
Oh, please, you could've got those kids

560
00:21:06,544 --> 00:21:08,945
from anywhere for real
cheap, especially Marnold.

561
00:21:08,947 --> 00:21:10,280
He looks a little sickly.

562
00:21:10,282 --> 00:21:11,881
Seriously? What is wrong with you?

563
00:21:11,883 --> 00:21:13,483
I don't know. I don't know.

564
00:21:13,485 --> 00:21:14,584
I'm broken.

565
00:21:15,548 --> 00:21:16,968
sync and correction by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com